Chapter V
Bishop and brother Edward were in Carmen's room on board the ship, when general Morden walked in.
"How is she?" Morden asked.
"She's still unconscious." Edward said.
"She isn't in a coma, is she?" Morden asked.
"No, I think she'll regain consciousness in the next hour or so."
Morden looked at the monk, wondering if he knew what he was talking about. He was so young, he couldn't be older than twenty five. But the other monks had said he was the only one who knew about healing so here he was. What was a kid like this doing in a church on Diserato?
"Look Edward, we're going to take off now. We're bringing the ship in orbit, so that we can't be attacked by any of those monsters you got down there. Now are you absolutely sure the other monks want to stay down there?" The general said with a tired look on his face.
"Yes, they're sure."
"They're all going to die." The general said.
"Maybe." Edward quietly said, turning his face back at Carmen.
"Oh well, ok. Why the fuck do I care anyway?" The general said while turning round and walking out the door. A few minutes later they felt the vibrating sensation of the lift off.
"Don't you care?" Bishop suddenly asked.
"What?"
"Haven't you got friends down there?"
"Sure I do."
"Aren't you worried about them?"
"You don't understand, you're not a believer."
"No, I'm not. But some times I wish I was...but I can't"
"Why not?"
"Do you really want me to simply assume that there is a god up there who cares about anything."
"Wether or not God exists is irrelevant to me."
"But you're a monk."
"Yes."
"So you belive in God."
"No, not the old way."
"Do the other monks know you don't believe?"
"I didn't say I don't believe."
"I'm sorry, but I really..."
"I believe there is a design, a design we must understand and believe in. You see, the universe always works in different ways, but there are a few things that are always the same. These few things are always the same because of the pure phenomenons in this universe. It is my belief that first there was only God. Then something happened and God transformed into the universe. Did he know the reason for his transformation? I don't know. But I do think he tried to control his transformation. The result of him trying to do this, is what I call 'The pure phenomenons'. It is my quest to find those phenomenons and to understand their true meaning within God's design."
"So you are a philosopher?"
"Sort of."
"You're not a monk?"
"Philosopher, monk...what's the difference?"
"Well... a monk is lead by assumtion, a philosopher isn't."
"Look my friend, I've spend seven years of my life searching trough our human form of communication looking for pure phenomenons, and the word 'assumption' is one of them."
"So what do you call a pure phenomenon?"
"One pure phenomenon is an element of the pure perspective. All pure phenomenons together, understood and realized completely, reveal God himself."
Bishop's eyebrows went up.
"Let me put it this way, a...glass isn't a pure phenomenon because it is an object and an object can't be a pure phenomenon. The word 'evil' also isn't a pure phenomenon because 'evil' is only a human interpretation for something bringing disadvantage, besides evil and good are only a point of view. 'Beauty' also doesn't qualify because beauty and ugliness are in the eye of the beholder."
"So what is a pure phenomenon?" Bishop asked, surprised by how easily the man shared his beliefs with a total stranger.
"Things in which history repeats itself, things that are eternal, things like chaos, order, advantage, disadvantage, complexity, simplicity..."
"Love?"
"Nope."
"No?"
"We humans always tell ourselves that 'nothing is more pure than love' simply because love is a good feeling and a good feeling brings advantage of state of mind. We're humans, whenever something feels good we start weaning about how pure and how important it must be. What love actually is, is the systemized bit of instinct we have left in our decadent minds. Love is a psychological complexion of the natural breeding instinct all life from earth has. It's an evolution complex. We couldn't do without it because it makes us have families, homes, children and all those things, but that doesn't mean it's a pure universal phenomenon."
"So why do you only look for pure universal phenomenon?"
"Because only the pure things reveal God's design."
"I'm sorry, but I still don't understand what this 'design' is." Bishop asked, obviously hungry for knowledge.
"The rules God created to prevent the universe from being a dead, uninteresting place."
"So you think, every thing that happens in the universe is according to God's design? And that he made this design to influence his own transformation?"
"Yes, but I don't think everything is according to God's design. Because I don't believe that God is perfect himself, there might even be chaos within God. I think God has only made the possibilities, not the way they are used."
"I don't think I quite understand what that means."
"Ok, well, let's just compare it with numbers. If you have the numbers 1, 2 and 3 you can arrange them in a lot of ways. Now what I'm saying is that God created the 1, the 2 and the 3. But he couldn't control the way they could be arranged. The numbers in this example represent a few of the pure phenomenon."
"Why would you believe that there is a God, but that he can't control everything? I mean people who belive in God normally think he is almighty."
"Because I don't believe in predestination, I don't believe in divine intervention, yet I do believe in God." Edward said with a intelligent smile on his face.
"I never looked at it that way. I love it...I belive that." Bishop said.
"It's all a point of perspective. I used to belive that we're the only thing in the universe that meant everything and nothing at the same time."
"So what do you belive now?" Bishop asked.
"Well, now things get more complicated. Now I belive that God's design...is a perspective that holds all the perspectives in all situations."
"I think I'm beginning to understand what you mean by 'God's design'. But now I wonder if you could explian more about these pure phenomenons, do they work together? Do they need eachother?"
"How come you're such a good listener?" Edward suddenly asked.
"Well...I'm just interested."
"THat's good, that's very good...you see, I need people who are willing to help me in my quest to think with me. People back on earth are always too deeply involved in their life as a civilian, they don't have the right perspective to look up and see themselves as a part of the universe. But somehow...you have."
Bishop looked back to see how Carmen was doing. Her eyes were open!
"Carmen!"
"Yes." She said.
"You're awake?" Edward asked stunned.
"Yeah." She said.
"Well...for how long have you been awake?" Bishop asked.
"About ten minutes."
"Ten minutes!? Why didn't you give us a sign?!"
"Because I was listening to just about the most interesting conversation of my life and I didn't want to break it up." She smiled.
"But you're hurt! How do you feel?"
"Like shit, but your conversation sort of distracted me from the pain."
"So can we do something for you?"
"Yeah, continue talking."
"No wait, I'll go get your father." Bishop said.
"No!" She suddenly shouted. She grabbed his hand.
"Please don't." She softly said.
"Why not? He's your father, odn't you want him to know you're alright?"
"My father, yeah right. He didn't even try to get me out of there. He just ran away, the bastard. Who got me out of it anyway?"
"Well, Johner was covering me and I..." Bishop said.
"I thought so. The quietest ones always are the bravest when it comes down to it." She said staring at Bishop.
Bishop was quiet, nervously trying to think of a response to her look. It was a funny thing, even half dead she looked more alive then anyone he had ever seen. What would he say now?...Why didn't he say what he swas supposed to say? Why didn't he say something like 'Oh, I'm only an android, it's in my programming to risk my life to save a real life.' How could he be so goddamned arrogant to pretend that he was a natural person?
"Please, don't thank me. I had to do it." He finally said.
"How do you mean, you had to?" She asked, still looking him right in the eyes. It was so unfair, her human eyes told her entire story, it was almost as if they represented her soul, and what did his eyes represent? A lie, nothing more than a horrible artificial lie. He looked awya from her.
"Because I'm prog..."
Suddenly Bishop stopped. For just a second he realized how important this moment could be. Here and now he had to choose. All his pain could end here. The pain of never really getting into a person's life. The pain of always only being an android in the minds of others. Could he say it?
"Bishop, is something wrong?" She asked with a surprised look on her face.
"I had to...because I love you." He said.
he didn't dare look at her. He looked at Edward, sho quickly said:
"I'll go check on...uh...oh the...well, I'll just leave you two alone, ok?"
Noone said anything and Edward left the room. Edward walked trough the main corridor of the ship. He realized that Biship still hadn't got any of the answers he wanted. Bishop still didn't know why he was in a church and Bishop still didn't understand why he and the other monks wanted to be down there, with the dragons. So Carmen found their discussion interestin? Maybe she also had some answers, some advanced interpretations. Suddenly he heard laughter. It was coming from the door to his right. He had only seen the other members of the crew for a very brief moment. Out of curiosity he entered.
"What the hell do you want!" One of the two men in the room shouted at him.
"Uh, I'm Edward." He said.
"My name is Morse and tis is Johner, don't let him fighten you, he's a little rough but in action he's ok." The other man said.
"Oh, shut the fuck up, wanker!" Johner shouted at Morse, and the two men started laughing again.
"Uh...ok, so is there anything to drink left?" Edward calmly asked, glaring down at the two drunken men.
"Nope...we drank it all!! You'd be surprised how much this little fucker over here can drink!" Johner said pointing at Morse.
"Ok...so what are you guys doing?" Edward asked sitting down.
"We're telling each other stories, you woun't believe it, but this wanker over here once put a bullet in an alien while he was hanging from a ladder backwards!!" Morse shouted hysterically.
"Yeah, well, ok. But your story about first getting that alien in hot lead and that spraying water on it was also not bad." Johhner shouted, still pointing his finger at Morse.
"What?" Edward asked disorientated.
"Oh nothing, just old combat stories...but you're the newest member of our little chat group here so now it's your turn to tell us a story!" Morse said.
"Oh sorry, I'd rather not." Edward softly said.
Suddenly Morse got up. Trying to walk, he pulled a gun out of his pants and aimed it at Edward.
"You know what it is, brother, whenever I drink I start feeling philosophical. And you know philosophers...they puzzle with sentences, put them upside down, turn them around...You see, life is a story. But in this case, a story is life. Because if you don't tell us a nice story to fall asleep with, there woun't be any life for yo." Morse said, almost falling down tree times.
"Ok, relax! I'll tell a story, just put that thing away, will ya!"
Morse threw his gun in a corner of the room and let himself fall down over Johner, who hardly noticed. Edward snapped his fingers to get their attention again. They looked at him like a bunch of old gorillas.
"Ok, so listen up, here comes my story: Twenty tree years ago a boy called Edward grew up on Earth."
"Earth...what a shit hole! Johner interrupted. Edward continued.
"As he grew up in a rich neighborhood he accepted the fact that because people didn't have any real big problems, their mind started to make problems out of stupid meaningless things, so people lived their life preoccupied with little unimportant things, purely out of psychological problems that didn't make any sence. Decadence surrounded him. For sixteen years he watched his sister put on make up, one hour every morning. His father was a plastical sergeant and his mother race driver. One day he robbed a toy store because he wanted to know what it felt like. This was when he realized that the decadence had also touched him. He knew he would end up like his family, twisted and spoiled. So he decided that he wanted to be as far away from them as possible. His studies had made him a doctor, and because of the fact that he was out of money he had jobs on star ships working as the ship's doctor and seeing the universe at the same time. As the years passed he had seen many of the universe's beautiful systems. Which made him wonder why the human race was so twisted and chaotic, in the middle of all these harmonious stars. And one day, he met a man who's craziness made him realize the character of the human race. It was an obsessive compulsive man, who needed a form of order in his life that didn't make any sence. Studying this man, he realized that it wasn't just his man who was obsessive compulsive, it was the human race that was obsessive compulsive. Realizing this, de decided that he needed a place where he could develop his thoughts. Because of his natural interest and attraction to chaos, Diserato seemed the most inspirational place. it was here where the monks showed him the power of God. Witch he couldn't belive in until he had redefined the idea of God in his own philosopy. It was only then that he realized that 'God' was another word for 'beginning'."
"Wow, man...that story sucked." Johner said laying on the ground with his eyes shut.
"Yeah,well, somethimes I think you're right." Edward said.
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Introduciton Chapter I Chaper II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter VI Chapter VII
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