This chapter is titled Zbarakoualion and 
tells the tragic tale of how Zbarakouak 
the sleazy farmer cast his first spell 
and proclaimed himself a mage. 

... Zbarakouak was a slimy citizen of Solace. 
The other Solacians didn't like him at all 
and refused to talk to him. 
When they absolutely needed him [very rarely] 
and thus were forced to talk to him out of necessity 
they did so having their back turned to him. 
They didn't like him because he was very dirty, 
had long hair, he was growing a beard, 
he always needed a shave, he was wearing 
black clothes with strange paintings on them, 
and he was listening to a cannibalistic music. 
That style was out of fashion in Solace since 
the last cataclysm and Solacians were known 
for their fixation with current fashion trends.

Zbarakouak on the other hand had never noticed 
that Solacians kind of disliked him. 
To say the truth he thought he was very popular. 
So popular that he was thinking of going to Tarsis, 
a city with a higher quality of life standard. 
But he was merely a farmer and didn't have 
enough money to buy a buckskin gelding, 
or even a horse for the trip. 
The farmer profession was not profitable 
enough for him you see. 

One day while he was eating his 
favourite bowl of rice, 
he happened to notice Davelis and Dionysos, 
two crappy fighters sitting in a nearby table.
They were drunk and were telling exagerated versions
of their adventures they had near the region of Tarsis. 
They were talking about killing noblemen and noblewomen 
and making a fortune from selling 
their expensive clothes.
According to their tales, they were finding 
a pile of coins inside the corpse of nearly everything they killed!

That's it! Thought Zbarakouak. I will go to 
my farm and kill any
defenseless cute little animal I see, 
then rip his corpse and get the 
pile of coins that resides in it! 
I will make enough money to buy a unicorn in no time.

He hurried to his treehouse, wore green clothes 
[for camouflage], armed himslef with a loaf of bread 
[he had heard that Salamias, another crappy fighter 
was very successful with that kind of weapon] 
and rushed to his fields.

It was a sunny day, and lots of little adorable 
animals were playing and hopping around his field. 
Aha, thought Zbarakaouk, there is 
a grasshopper, and a little bunny is nearby. 
He rushed towards their generic direction, 
waving his loaf of bread in the air. 
He smashed the grasshopper with it, 
then raised the loaf of bread again 
[together with the smashed grasshoper]
and crushed the bunny twice, thrice, four times, 
god he liked the blood and the guts 
that were flying around. After a few minutes 
and after reducing both the bunny and 
the grasshoper to amorphus mass,
he riped open their carcasses, 
inserted both his hands in their inards and 
testicles and started looking for the
coins. He had around 54 gold pieces. 
He was very satisfied with himself and after 3 hours 
[that is 2 squirrels, 2 ravens, Thero's puppy and 
1 kitten] he had managed to gather 200 gold pieces, 
enough to buy a respectable horse.

Without wasting more time he went back to solace 
and was on his way to the stables. He saw Arxigos 
at the square [a very popular place for ruffians] 
and greeted him. He didn't know at the time, 
but that action costed him 187 gold pieces. 
Arxigos was a very proficient thief. 
But he found out 4 minutes later 
while trying to pay for the horse he bought.

'Gimme back the note' the stable master said. 
'here, that is what you get with 13 gold pieces. 
And don't come back, you smell worse than an
individual that I refuse to name'.

What you get with 13 gold pieces in solace, 
is a skinny mule. If a necromancer had animated 
a mule that was dead for a month, 
it would still look the same with Zbarakouak's mule. 
Zbarakouak however was very happy 
with the bargain he got. He didn't see an almost 
dead mule. What he saw was a brand new pegasus, 
healthy ready to leap from any height, 
eyes radiating power and nostrils ready 
to ommit flames and death anyminute now. 

He started his, soon to discover, short journey 
to Tarsis already imagining his glorious entrance 
to Tarsis, the major would be there, 
and that fancy-pants Albert, and maiden 
would weep upon seeing him riding the proud stallion, 
who knows how many of them would faint. 
Hey, what the heck, they might even think he is Kavlas, 
good thing he staffed his giant mutated
cucumber in his pants.

Unfortunately, almost a couple of souths 
before the south gate, his mule tripped, 
fall on his face, broke most of his teeth. 
That was very unfortunate because if his mule 
had survived that accident it would look 
very ugly indeed, but it didn't. Zbarakouak said 
'gamimeni kinonia' and went back to his home [on foot].
He had to water the seeds tommorow.

You might wander what his first spell was. 
Well, 'gamimeni kinonia' is a kind of ancient spell 
that brings bad luck to the one 
who utters those two curse words for the rest 
of his life.

......