High on life, eh? Life highs are good. So is cheese. Cheese is one of the primary food groups no one has ever heard of, the others happen to be cheeze, pizza cheeze, and fritos. Corn chips taste remarkably like corn, which is nothing like Korn, which I imagine probably tastes disgusting because they sweat and all when they're onstage, and anyway they don't look all that tasty. Cheeze does, though. So, as a matter of fact, do most non-edible things, like spam, and various varieties of lichen, with at least one instance of a rock looking tasty, but that was just a fluke, and in any case it was too hot that day to remember anything besides thinking maggots were beans. Beans are good too, except for the gases they extrude from the body. Those can be rather nasty, but can also be mixed into a tasty casserole following the few simple steps provided by Martha Stewart, in her new video, Farting for Concoctions Serving 7+ People Who Happen To Be Not Only Insanely Stupid, But Also Can't Smell A Thing. In other news, Flooberhog Gloomwobbles was found disabled but still edible in its home on Finkwiddly Lane today, wherein nothing happened that was even remotely interesting. It isn't my fault none of this makes sense, I blame heredity. Among other things I could blame are such diverse elements as family, friends, outside environment, the temperature in this room, and the level of horomones contained in a 12' x 12' room with an equally distributed number of adolescent males therein. This level, in case you were wondering, which you surely aren't, is about the same as those contained in my body at any given moment, for I am chock full of the suckers, and they won't leave me alone for a moment, which is mostly why I constantly look for sex jokes as a release. Otherwise, my head would explode, and I'd be forced to grow ANOTHER new one, which gets a tad expensive and hasslesome after a while. Other things Ifind annoying are friends, family, the outside environment, and 12' x 12' rooms with equally distributed numbers of adolescent males therein. I had the most extraordinary sense of deja vu...Matrix must be resetting. No matter, the door is bricked in, and I now have an extra ear, but all else is the same. I cannot escape now, however, so I'm forced to continue typing until such time as I lapse into unconsciousness, which shouldbe...right about now. I think. Actually, no, I'm having too much fun, but alas, all good things must come to an end, or so Shakespeare wrote, and so this shall too, shortly. But while we're on the subject of Shakespeare, I happen to like the playwright and various plays of hiswhich I've read, including Romeo and Juliet and Macbeth, which is in fact all I've read that I've enjoyed, the rest of it was rather annoying drivel, which was only 12th Night. Oh, and I read a bit of Hamlet, but it wasn't proper Shakespearean, merely a summary, so it was rather dull as well. Such, as I say, is life. And I think you've had quite enough, so I suppose I'll sign off. Snoogans.

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