The Carpenter This essay is actually a short horror story that I had to write for english. It's...um...really, really sick and gruesome, so if you're squeamish and can easily visualize what human spackle would look like, I'd recommend not reading it. Unless, of course, you enjoy that sort of thing. I personally was quite scared when I finished typing it, I thought something was wrong with me...

Death By Spider Another poem, this one originated in a chat room I frequent, #fmu. Thanks to both Angst and Perc for the editing and critiquing this masterpiece. Anyhoo, a brief history of this poem. I once had a dream where my life was perfect, and then a really, really big flying spider crawled down the back of my shirt, bit me, and I died. Angst suggested that a part of it sounded like a poem (The first line is her's), and...well, the rest went from there. It's rated PG, just so you know.

The Day The Power Stopped This essay was written for Grade 12 Physics, and I suppose it isn't horribly surprising that it was written in the course of about 30 minutes between 10:30 and 11:00 the night before it was due. While I don't recommend this technique, it seemed to turn out rather well in this instance, netting me a 90% even while it didn't exactly cover the topic, which was what would happen if all the electricity in the world suddenly stopped. There are several inside jokes, so I don't expect everyone to find massive amounts of humour in it.

Christmas and The Media Another major feat, this essay was smashed out over a two hour period immediately before the Physics essay above. I used a massive amount of cynicism to convey my point; the only real research I did on the subject is outlined in the first two paragraphs, where I describe the history of Santa Claus. Even if you don't actually celebrate the holiday, I encourage you to take a look at it and give me some feedback. I'd love to discuss any further thoughts anyone might have.

Mindscape This thing was part of an email. Just proof of what happens when I get bored and start typing...I was actually quite proud of it.

Remember This isn't even mine...it was written by a good friend, and I begged and pleaded her to let me post it here, and so she finally gave in and let me. It's good. Really good. Read it.

An Absurd Moment in Time I wrote this for my OAC Writer's Craft class, and it was one of the few things that I actually not only enjoyed writing, but got a decent mark on. Go figure. Anyways, everyone and their mother seems to love it, so check it out, dig?