By Kristen Gupton-Is It Over Yet-Williams

This Song Is About Vincent Van Gogh, and yet… well anyway, it’s a good song. Here's a small part of it:

The airship remained on the ground until the following morning when Brad's helicopter finally touched down and the last of the funeral guests were on it. Slowly, the ship lifted up into the air and headed for Wutai.

Vincent still hadn't come back out of his shell, and by midday he was standing on the upper deck of the ship, staring down at the ocean that was passing below. He hadn't been able to sleep much at all the night before and had managed to finish his entire book during this episode of insomnia. Now there was nothing left to do but stand here and look at the scenery, even though he was too wrapped in his own thoughts to really see any of it.

Tifa had followed Reno's advice and had left her husband to himself for most of the day but now evening was encroaching and she knew that he hadn't eaten for at least twenty-four hours. She brought up a sandwich for him and walked over to where he was gazing over the railing. "Not thinking of jumping, are you?"

He didn't respond in the least for several moments and when he finally did, his voice was quiet. "Now that Chaos is gone it would kill me."

Tifa got to his side, her own pained expression staring at him. "I really hate this."

He flashed a sidelong glance at her. "I thought you liked flying."

"Damn it!" She stomped her foot. "Not flying, Vincent, the way you're acting!"

Vincent turned and leaned sideways on the rail, locking gazes with his wife. There was something to be said about the fact that Chaos was no longer a part of him in any way. That demon, for all it's evil, had provided Vincent with a certain edge to his personality, making him somewhat more outgoing than he naturally was. Tifa had no way of knowing that, and he wasn't about to explain it to her. She would have to come to grips with his increasing invertedness. The last several months had seen a huge change in his attitude, but now it was all winding down and he was becoming more the Vincent of old. Yet it was this Vincent of old that his last love had failed to love back, and somehow he feared deep down that Tifa's feelings for him would eventually go the way of Lucretia's.

His lips momentarily pulled down into a frown, and he looked down at the deck.

Tifa could plainly see that something was going on behind his crimson eyes. "Vincent, what is it?"

He pushed some of the loose tendrils of hair hanging in his face back over his shoulder. "Do you really know who I am?"

She knit her brow, confused at the question. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do you really know who I am?" he restated, still refusing to look her in the eye.

She narrowed her eyes, unable to think of anything to come back with.

"Tifa, this isn't fair to you, and I know it." He spoke softly, almost not wanting her to hear. "It's been hard for me over the last couple of days. Not just because Tseng died, but also because Chaos is gone."

"Yes, and isn't that at least something to be happy about?" Tifa asked, not understanding.

"It is." He turned to look back over the railing again. "He cannot harm anyone anymore. But he also, for better or worse, changed my personality. He's gone now and with him I've lost something."

She still didn't understand. "You lost something you wanted to be rid of since the day he was made a part of you. I don't know how that can be bad."

"He gave me feelings, Tifa." He sighed. "After… after all that happened to me way back when, I sort of lost my emotions, it was just a way of protecting myself although I had no control over it. As Chaos grew stronger, his aggression and personality mixed with mine… making me more… I don't know…"

"So that's what's with first the whole super concerned act after Tseng's death and now this." Tifa crossed her arms, trying to understand. "You were faking your caring attitude for a day and a half and then gave up, and started this whole routine again?"

"For lack of a better explanation, yes." Vincent closed his eyes. "I just have been left feeling very-"

"Don’t you dare, Vincent Valentine!" Tifa cut him off, knowing that the next word was going to be 'empty'. "Seven years ago, you went around behaving like this but I could see that beneath it there was something else. Maybe that monster made you feel more bravado or assertive, I don't know, but this now that you're doing is just depression."

"Would you have me go on medication to give me some phony outgoing look on life?" Vincent scowled.

"Well if what you're saying is true, then was it Chaos that made you say you loved me? Was it Chaos that made you open up and tell me your feelings and fears? Was it Chaos that I fell in love with? Is that what you are trying to say, Vincent? Because if it is, it's a load of crap." Tifa wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him violently.

He didn't say anything in response.

Tifa grew angry. "If it’s a choice between medicating you and living with you in this self induced funk for the rest of your life, then I'll force the pills down your throat myself."

Still, he didn't react.

"Vincent, look at me!" She demanded.

He was finding it almost impossible to face her now that she was angry.

"God damn it, LOOK AT ME!" Tifa screamed.

Slowly, he turned to face her. Despite the stoic look he wore, pain was obvious behind his eyes.

"Do you feel anything? Do you even love me?" Tears were by now in her eyes.

He wanted to look away again, but kept from doing so.

"Answer me, Vincent! It's a yes or no question!" There was a fear evident in her voice. "Do you love me?"

"Tifa, now really isn't-" Vincent once more found his words cut off.

"Yes or no?" she asked one final time, her voice now wavering in her anxiety.

"Yes." Vincent stated flatly, struck by the mere stupidity of such a question.

She almost seemed to not believe him and remained planted where she was. "So, does this mean that from now on you'll act like it in word only?"

"Of course not." Vincent knit his brow, feeling heat come into his face.

"What then?" She was openly crying now. "If Chaos has left you so cold and dead inside, what then?"

Vincent tensed his jaw for a moment. He loved Tifa, with or without Chaos inside bolstering his emotions. Something hit him hard inside. Even if he was going to shut out the rest of the world, he couldn't do it to her or he would loose the one thing that had been keeping him going for so long. He took a step forward and embraced her. If closing off the world to his feelings was a defensive measure, then keeping Tifa privy to his real feelings when she was the only one he could trust would be an absolute necessity to surviving.

She fell into his arms, relieved to finally have reached something inside him. The tears came freely for a few moments, before she felt his hand underneath her chin, bringing up her face for a kiss.