Guilt's Cost: Part CLXXXII

Rites

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

A day and a half later, the airship finally arrived in Wutai. Vincent's great aunt had spoken to him the day before by telephone and had told him that he and his friends were invited to stay at her home. When Vincent stepped off of the airship with the others, they found the elderly woman standing in wait.

Vincent went up and gave Yokazi a brief embrace. "It's good to see you again, despite the circumstances."

She smiled, "This is just a temporary separation from Tseng. We will all be again together soon, so there is no reason for sadness."

Vincent nodded to her words wishing that he had the same depth of faith that she had been blessed with. "The monks do say that the true way to show your love for one that has passed is to let them go."

"That's right, Tsuvati." She reached out and gripped his hand.

Not wishing to dwell on the Tseng's death any more, Vincent kept hold of her hand and made the introductions for everyone, since the vast majority of those with him did not speak Wutain.

Yokazi's kind expression didn't falter as she was introduced to everyone present. Once in front of Cid, she immediately took notice of the baby in his arms.

Language barrier or not, Cid could plainly see the question in the old woman's eyes. "Yeah, he's mine."

Her smile grew wider, and she outstretched both of her arms toward the wriggling infant.

Again, Cid knew what she wanted and handed over his son, thinking that the woman would die if denied. "Here."

Yokazi took him and then stood admiring the child, before turning her eyes to Vincent. "When are you and Tifa going to have one?"

Vincent shrugged, not really wanting to tell his great aunt exactly why he couldn't have any children in his current state, so took the easy way out. "All in due time."

Yokazi accepted his answer at face value and then motioned for everyone to follow her to her home.

When they got there, they saw that the table had been laden with a considerable amount of food. They took their places around the table. Everyone dove in and began filling their plates, except for Cid and Brad, who sat together eyeing the spread in search of something that looked if not appetizing, at least edible.

Tifa, who had gotten used to Wutain food during their last visit, noticed the expressions of the two men. "Come on you guys, eat something."

Cid cocked an eyebrow. "We don't know what any of this stuff is."

Tifa sighed and picked up a plate covered in various tempura vegetables and passed it down to them. "Here, try these."

Both Brad and Cid took some, and after giving their samples small tastes, decided that it was good and scooped up considerable portions for both their plates.

***

After the large dinner at Yokazi's house, Vincent knew that there were things that he was obligated to do for Tseng in proper Wutain custom. He got up from his seat and excused himself from the table. He went into the guestroom and donned the black suit that had been provided to him. He tied his hair back and then inspected himself in the mirror for a moment. The outfit he was in reminded him a little too much of his days as a Turk, but he was brought out of this daydream when Tifa came in.

"Where are you doing?" She asked, admiring him.

He smiled at her. "I'm going to see Tseng at the temple."

"Why?" She didn't understand the reason he needed to go now.

Vincent knew that she had no experience with Wutain Buddhist rituals and so decided to invite her along so that she could learn. "Get your dress on and you'll see."

Not having anything else to do, Tifa quickly put on the dress she had brought and followed him out the door.

They walked to the temple and made their way to the back of the building where they entered through a small door. Inside was the funerary preparation room, where Tseng's body was to be made ready for the ceremony tomorrow.

Tseng was currently lying on a plain wooden altar, covered from the shoulders down with a red blanket. There was little else in this room besides him.

A monk heard them enter and came around a corner to greet Vincent and Tifa. Seeing that a non-Wutain was in attendance, he didn't speak in the native language. "Tsuvati, you've come for the washing and vigil?"

He replied after bowing in respect. "That and to see if there was anything else that needed to be done in preparation."

The kindly monk smiled. "Then we shall get started."

Vincent made his way right to Tseng's side. The monk then brought over a large bowl with a ladle type device inside. He set it on a small table next to the body, close to where Vincent was standing.

Vincent, on cue, reached out and pulled Tseng's right hand out from under the blanket and held it palm up by the wrist. With his other hand, he picked up the ladle and began to pour water over Tseng's exposed hand.

Tifa just watched in silence as Vincent did this for a total of three times.

Once done, Vincent put Tseng's hand back where it had been. He looked over at his wife. "Come over here."

Tifa did as asked, not certain what was going on.

Vincent had her stand where she had just been, and then whispered in her ear. "Do just what I did."

Knowing that it would be rude to refuse, Tifa reached out and picked up Tseng's cold hand. With a brief moment of hesitation, she grabbed the ladle and poured water over his hand, just as Vincent had done. After, she glanced at Vincent, who motioned for her to repeat the action two more times.

The monk then picked the bowl back up. "I'll go get his clothes now."

With the monk momentarily out of the room, Tifa turned to Vincent.

He knew by the confused look on her face that she wanted to know what was going on. "That's the washing. It's just a sign of respect for the deceased."

"Why three times?" She asked.

He smiled at her. Things that seemed to make perfect sense to him were a mystery to her. "You'll learn that in a lot of ceremonies things are done in threes. In fact, you're going to have to learn the Tea Ceremony tonight where you'll see the pattern again."

"I have to learn something? Why?" She hadn't been told that she was going to have to participate in anything.

"Tomorrow at the funeral, when the monk arrives to read the Sutra you'll present him with green tea. It's a normal offering to make." Vincent put his arm around her shoulders.

The fact that she was going to have to perform some alien yet obviously important custom immediately made her nervous. "Why me?"

"As the eldest male, I am the head of the family and since you are my wife, it's your job. Don't worry, you'll do fine. It's easy enough." Vincent smirked. "Besides, you're not Wutain so if you screwed up, no one would blame you."

Now it was a challenge. "I won't mess up, Vincent. I'll pull off the best damn Tea thing you ever saw."

He laughed, "I'm sure you will. The monk is going to bring in Tseng's suit and we're going to dress him. If you want to step outside for this, it's fine with me."

Tifa had no intention of watching that. "Can I go feed the fish?"

Vincent kissed her cheek and pulled out a few coins from his pocket. "Go to the little building around the East side of the temple. They sell some things there, including koi food."

She beamed, remembering how wonderful it had been to feed the large fish in the pond last time they were here. "Cool!"

"The monk will come get you when we're done." Vincent said, giving her once more kiss before she ran out the door.

Tifa walked out to the shop and went up to the counter. All of the packages for sale there were written upon in Wutain and she had no idea which of them was fish food. The man working there smiled at her, and asked if he could help her, however, he didn't speak English and she stood just staring at him blankly.

Tifa's mind raced as to figure out how to tell him what she wanted. She made a gesture with her hand like she was tossing fish food out into the pond.

The man watched and then seemed to catch on. He grabbed one small bag and opened it to let Tifa see if he had the right thing.

See looked inside and saw that it wasn't fish food, but rather something that looked like course salt. Dismayed, she thought again, this time making a ridiculous face where she tried to make fish lips with her mouth.

This time the clerk's face broke into a grin as he figured out what she was really after. He produced another bag and this time when he showed it to Tifa, she nodded in approval. She placed the money that Vincent had given her onto the counter, not knowing how much it cost. The clerk took the right amount and handed her back the extra before passing her the bag of koi pellets.

Bag in hand, she went to the fishpond, pleased to see that they at once swam over to her as they expected to be fed. She sat on the grass, careful to not wrinkle her dress and began to drop pellets into the water. With a good amount of food floating on the surface she slowly reached down to begin petting them as she had done once before. The fish, having no fear of humans whatsoever, readily let her touch them as they ate their food.

"Aw God, don't tell me your touching those things!"

Tifa turned to see Reno standing behind her with his hands shoved in his pockets. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Thought I'd go for a walk since the conversations going on back at the house seemed to all purposefully exclude me. Just so happens I came across this place to find you sittin' there playing with fish. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but hanging around Vinny has started to make you real weird." He took a few more steps toward her.

"No, it's not weird Reno." She patted the ground next to her, indicating that he should sit. "Come on, try it."

"I'll barely touch dogs and cats, and I sure as hell ain't petting something that'll probably end up on our breakfast plates in the morning," he said, now standing next to her.

"Ew, Reno!" She looked up at him with a disgusted expression. "They don't eat these, they're pets!"

"I'm sure they eat plenty of their 'pets'," he replied, reluctantly sitting down.

Tifa smiled as he sat; glad to see that despite his protests he was willing to try it. She gave him a handful of pellets. "Here, give them these."

He took them and brought them up to his nose, quickly pulling them away. "Smells like fucking cat food."

"Oh just shut up and feed them, okay?" Tifa said, resuming her own feeding of the fish.

Reno sighed and started to flick individual pellets out into the water. He immediately became entranced as he watched the large koi slowly drift over and eat the food. "Geez, that white one is huge…"

"Yeah, wait 'til the black one shows up, he's even bigger," Tifa said, pointing to where the particular fish in question was lurking.

"God, how long does it take one of these things to get that big?" Reno asked.

"Vincent says that they can live as long as we do."

"No shit?" Reno was impressed. "I had no idea that fish could live that long."

A few minutes later, the monk came over to them. "Tseng has been dressed, you may go back to Tsuvati now."

Tifa got up and handed the rest of the fish food to Reno. He took the bag and stayed put, still rapt in the koi.

She followed the monk back to the room and entered. Tseng was now lying uncovered, dressed in a dark blue suit. She stopped dead in her tracks upon seeing Vincent.

He was sitting on his knees before the altar Tseng was upon. There was a low red table between him and his brother's body. Upon it were several items setting out and he seemed deep in thought.

Tifa didn't notice the monk go around her, quickly disappearing somewhere inside the temple. She was too busy staring at Vincent. His hands were placed together before his chest and his head bowed. He was chanting something quietly to himself, stopping every few moments to reach out with his right hand to ring a small brass bell three times that was sitting on the table before him. After the third such action, he picked up something off a small dish and dropped it into a bowl from which a small plume of smoke was coming out. The air in the room was beginning to fill with the smell of incense.

Tifa didn't really understand what he was doing and felt that she shouldn't disturb him. Not only for fear of ruining whatever it was that Vincent was doing but also for fear of making him stop. There was something odd about seeing him as he was. It almost seemed that he was in some sort of trance, somehow at peace. Tifa's only regret was that she couldn't understand what he was saying.

After a while, Vincent stood back up and turned to her.

Tifa still felt strange about invading into whatever customs were taking place. "What…. What were you doing?"

As if she had just asked the lamest question on earth, Vincent knit his brow. "Praying."

Never in a million years did Tifa think that she would have witnessed such a thing. "I didn't think you were… you know…"

He didn't display much emotion as he responded. "I have to do this forty-nine times before the funeral tomorrow. It's my job and I will be here all night with Tseng."

"Oh." Tifa hated how very out of place she was feeling. Part of her knew that Vincent himself didn't really want anyone to see him doing all that he had to do for the funerary rites. "If you want me to go home, I can."

He raised his eyebrows. "No, you don't have to leave. There's nothing in the rules about you being here. In fact, if you want to help, you can."

She truly had no idea what he was expecting her to do. "How?"

"I'll show you." He turned back and knelt again before the altar.

Tifa knelt down at his side as he had indicated to her she should do.

Vincent looked at her. "I know you don't know Wutain so I'm not going to expect you to recite Sutra like me. You can just say whatever prayer it is that you have. After each recitation, ring the bell and then after the third recitation, place a little incense into the burner, okay?"

Completely out of familiar territory, Tifa blushed. Praying for her and her religion was something that was always done alone. She somehow felt that partaking in this without being a proper Buddhist was wrong. "Are you sure?"

"It's just a sign of respect for the dead, that's all." Vincent could sense how out of place she was feeling. "I'm not going to make fun of you, if that's what you're thinking."

Tifa laughed to herself, trying to relieve some of her tension. "Okay."

Vincent gave her a brief smile before placing his hands together and bowing his head as he had done before. He again started to recite the Sutra in Wutain.

Tifa, knowing that she had to go through with this now, mimicked his pose. Her mind raced for some sort of prayer. Eventually she opted to go with the generic funeral rites that she had heard repeated in her own life:

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still waters.

He restores my soul;

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil;

For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup runs over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

All the days of my life;

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord

Forever."

When she had said the last line, she took the bell and rang it the prescribed number of times. Vincent finished his Sutra shortly thereafter and picked up the bell just as she set it down. They repeated their individual prayers two more times until both contributing to the incense.

As Vincent dropped his offering of incense in the bowl, he turned to Tifa. "Well done."

She blushed a little, feeling self-conscious. "That was all I could think to say…"

"It was fine." Vincent draped an arm around her shoulders. "I don't expect you to sit here and do this all night though, if you don't want."

Although part of her didn't want to, she certainly didn't want to abandon Vincent with his dead brother for the rest of the night. "If I stay here, will we have enough time in the morning to show me that Tea thing?"

Vincent smiled at her, pleased with her desire to remain at his side. "Let's see, I only have to pray forty-seven more times tonight, that should leave us enough time in the early hours to teach you. It isn't that hard, and the tea will help you stay awake."

She returned his smile, happy to know that he was letting her into his world; allowing her to see a side of him that no one else ever did. "Okay, sounds like a plan."

 

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