Guilt's Cost: Part 198

Surgery Day

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

 

            Seven in the morning arrived quickly.  It goes without saying that neither Vincent nor Tifa got any sleep that night, both being absorbed in their own worries about what was to come.  When the alarm went off, indicating that it was time to go down to the infirmary, Vincent quickly sat up and shut it off.  He was hoping that Tifa would stay asleep for a bit longer, but once he looked over at her, he realized that she was wide awake.

            She watched him silently as he got up and flipped on the light.  The sudden brightness made her turn away for a moment, but she quickly adjusted and the sat up.  "Are you ready?"

            He glanced at her as he pulled on his pants.  "As ready as can be expected.  And you?"

            "No."  Tifa slouched forward a little.  "Not even those sleeping pills you got for me a while back could put me out last night."

            "Well, after today, there won't be much to do for a while but sleep," Vincent said with a faint smile, more to himself than her.

            "Yeah."  She slipped from the bed and pulled on some shorts and a tee shirt.

            Just a few minutes later, they stepped out into the hall and made their way to the infirmary.  Inside, they were greeted by a half dozen surgeons and doctors that Janice had called in for the occasion.  They all regarded Vincent with some curiosity, anxious to get underway and see if all they had been promised was indeed possible. 

            Dr. Arlin found them shortly and guided Vincent over to an empty bed.  "Get undressed and into this bed.  I'm going to bring over something in a moment to start getting you relaxed."

            "I have to start the day off by stripping and then getting a shot?" Vincent asked, a slight tinge of worry present in his voice.

            "Strip yes, but the medication will be a few pills.  I promise not to use you as a pin cushion until after you're under anesthesia."  Dr. Arlin turned and walked over to the medicine cabinets.

            "That's comforting…" Vincent mumbled as he quickly threw off his shirt and then slipped beneath the thin sheet before removing his pants.

            Tifa just stood by him, a mixed expression of concern and fear on her face.

            Once Vincent was settled in the bed, Dr. Arlin returned and handed Vincent a small paper cup of water and three rather large pills.  "Take those and in about fifteen minutes, you'll not care about a thing."

            Vincent cocked an eyebrow and flashed a look at Tifa before taking the pills and swallowing them down.  He then handed the paper cup back to the doctor and settled back into his pillow.

            Tifa sat on the edge of his bed and took up his hand.  She really couldn't think of anything to say at the moment, as her emotions were ripping away any logical train of thought she could muster.

            Easily seeing his wife's anxiety, Vincent held on to her hand tightly and smiled. "It will all be over soon enough, then we can get on with the rest of our lives."

            They proceeded to sit in silence for a while, and Vincent began to feel the effects of the drugs he had been given.  He found himself growing tired and rather indifferent about the situation at hand.

            Janice returned after a full twenty minutes had passed, knowing that Vincent would be felling much better.  "Your new body is being cooled now in anticipation of the surgery.  I'm going to take you back now, so that we can get you anesthetized and prepped.

            One last bit of worry cropped up and Vincent turned to Tifa.  "You'll be here when I'm done, right?"

            "Of course."  Tifa smiled and pushed back his hair one last time.  "I love you."

            "I love you, too," Vincent replied as the doctor began to pull his bed toward the surgery suite.  Soon thereafter, the doctors and surgeons that had gathered followed suit, leaving Tifa by herself.

            She went over to a chair close to the entry doors and landed heavily.  Finally alone, Tifa allowed herself to cry.

            It wasn't more than a few minutes later when the doors flew open and Angel walked in with Reno.  Angel looked around the room and then came to Tifa's side.  "Did they already take him back?"

            Tifa wiped her eyes and sighed.  "Yeah, just a little bit ago."

            "Damn, I wanted to see him before they took him."  Angel furrowed her brow.  "I'd go back there, but Dr. Arlin has forbidden me from helping, afraid that I'll pass out or something because I'm pregnant and shouldn't be standing for long periods of time."

            Truth be told, Tifa would rather have had Angel's company outside of surgery anyway, even if it meant putting up with Reno for the next several hours.  "At least I can have you here with me."

            "I guess so."  Angel was disappointed that she couldn't participate under the circumstances.  Part of her knew that the real reason that Dr. Arlin didn't want her in there was the fact that there were already more doctors in the surgery suite that could reasonably fit, and that it was always a good idea to keep family members from working on one another when possible.  Especially when one considered the drastic and dangerous procedure that was taking place.  She found a chair and pulled it next to Tifa's.

            Reno in the meanwhile, just anxiously paced around the clinic, looking for anything of interest in the various drawers and cabinets in the room.  "How long is this supposed to take?"

            Angel glanced over at her husband.  "Twelve to eighteen hours."

            He turned where he stood and glared at her.  "You mean we're stuck in this crap hole for the whole God damned day?"

            She shrugged.  "Well, yeah."

            "This sucks."  Reno resigned to his impending boredom and collapsed onto and empty bed.

            Dr. Arlin came out and walked to Tifa's side.  "I just wanted to let you know that he's asleep already, so from here on out he's not going to be aware of a thing."  The doctor couldn't help but notice the way Tifa was posturing herself.  "It's going to be a long time before he's done, and it looks like you could use some sleep."

            Tifa forced a smile.  "Thanks but I can't sleep.  Not even the stuff you gave me before could knock me out at the moment."

            The doctor nodded knowingly.  "Why don't you climb into one of these beds and I can give you something guaranteed to help you relax a little."

            Tifa slowly did as ordered and took up the bed next to where Reno was now lying, playing some video game on his cell phone.

            Janice returned with a paper cup of water and the same pills that she had given Vincent just a while before.

            More than happy to comply, Tifa took the pills, drank the water and then lay back, awaiting her badly needed rest.

            "What about me?" Reno asked, letting his phone fall to his side.  "If you're passing out free rufies, I want some, too."

            Dr. Arlin just grimaced at Reno's request and looked down at Tifa.  "I'm going to go back into the surgery now.  I'll make sure to give you updates and let you know when we are getting close to done, okay?"

            Tifa forced the most insincere smile she had ever made.  Her stomach was knotted at the thought of what was going to happen to her husband.  "All right."

            Tifa, Angel, and Reno soon found themselves alone.  An uneasy quiet settled over them as Tifa waited for the drugs to bring her some relief and Angel and Reno were at a loss for words considering the situation, leaving them all to just wallow in their anxiety.

            Not much later, Cid entered the room with his baby in his arms as usual.  He came to Tifa’s bedside and sat next to her.  He could easily see that she was under the influence of some medication.  “How you holding up?  You look stoned.”

            She managed a faint smirk and sighed.  “The doctor gave me something for my anxiety.”

            Cid nodded.  “So I take it Sunshine’s underway?”

            “Yeah.”  Tifa rolled onto her side to face him.

            “It’s going to be all right.”  He reached out and placed a hand on her arm.  “How long until we know something?”

            Reno took it upon himself to reply, “All fucking day.”

            “I see.”  Cid looked down at the sleeping baby in his arms.  “Well, I guess that means I should get comfortable and wait like the rest of you.”

            “I’m going to fall asleep soon, Cid.  You don’t have to stay in here if you don’t want to,” Tifa said, not wanting to keep him down in the dreary infirmary when she knew good and well that he’d much rather be in the hanger shooting the breeze with Brad.

            He looked her in the eye and tightened the grip he had on her arm.  “Tifa, I told you that I would be here for you when he had his surgery and I’m going to follow through on that, whether you’re awake to appreciate it or not.”

            She smiled at him.  “Thanks Cid.”

            A few moments later, the drugs did their job and she passed from consciousness.

            Seeing that Tifa was asleep, Cid got up and moved to a chair that was between the two beds that Tifa and Reno were on.

            Reno turned over to look at Cid.  “So, how’s it going with the plane?”

            Cid huffed and kept his eyes on his infant.  “It’s going.  There’s still a ton of work to do before it gets back into the air.  It did give me the chance to take the airship here again though so it isn’t all bad.”

            “Oh.”  Reno knew that Cid was probably just as happy to have gotten the chance to see Jin on the airship as he was having flown it here.  He changed the subject back to the matter at hand.  Reno spoke quietly not wanting Angel who was sitting on the other side of the room to hear.  “What do you think the chances are of this scheme working out and Vincent making it?”

            Cid shrugged.  “He’s a tough bastard.  If anyone can make it through this sort of thing, it’s Vince.”

            “It is all a little sci-fi though.”  Reno, not being the least bit savvy on medical subjects couldn’t quite get his mind around the whole concept.

            “Well, it’s coming out of Hojo’s research and he pulled off some pretty far out stuff in his day.  His so called science got Vincent into this situation, so it’s sort of fitting that it get him back out of it,” Cid replied.

            “Maybe.”  Reno flopped over onto his back again.  “If the fucker doesn’t survive though, you know we’re going to have our hands full with the women.”

            “I know.”  Cid thought back to the promise that Vincent had him make several months ago.  “I think it would just about do Tifa in.”

            “Yeah and I don’t want Angel dealing with that sort of stress being pregnant.  It’s bad enough that Tseng died a while back, but if she had to go through losing him too, God damn…”  Reno’s heart stung at the thought of Angel mourning another relative and even if he wasn’t willing to admit it, he too would hate to see Vincent dead.  “If he dies, I’ll kill him.”

            “I’ll second that.”  Cid managed a smile despite the situation.

 

***

 

            In the surgery suite, things were going well.  Luckily, Hojo thoroughly believed that everyone in the world other than himself was an idiot and he had thusly written all of his instructions for the procedures being done in simple cookbook type steps.  The neurosurgeons present quickly had Vincent’s vital nerves identified and readied for separation from his present body.  The bypass machines were up and running on both bodies and the mechanical heart in Vincent’s chest had been stopped as well as the real one in his new body.  Quigley and Porter had prepared and delivered all of the needed stem cell patches that would allow Vincent to eventually gain motor control over this new form.  For the most part, Dr. Arlin was just along for the ride but the things she was witnessing were unlike anything she had ever been a part of since becoming a doctor almost three decades ago.

 

***

 

            Once Vincent was put under general anesthesia, he was unaware on any level of what was going on around him.  However, once his body temperature had been dropped to the point where his brainwaves were no longer detectable, he became aware and felt a sharp jolt.  He realized that he was somehow or another above the surgery table, looking down on what was being done below.  The feeling he had was of an overwhelming calm and part of him was amused that the stories of people having out of body experiences while in surgery or technically dead were true.  After watching the activities going on beneath him for a while, he found himself being pulled away further.  He didn’t find himself in a tunnel with a light at the end, but rather he was standing in total darkness with a light far above.  He stood there alone in the stillness for a long time and then he heard someone come up behind him.  Vincent turned and saw his brother standing there.  “Tseng!”

            “So, you’re getting your new body?” Tseng asked, already knowing the answer.

            “I was, but if I’m here, I’m guessing I didn’t make it.”  Vincent was aware that he was dead, but not disturbed by it for the moment.

            “Well, you knew that you technically had to die during the procedure in order for it to be carried out,” Tseng answered.  “You’ll go back when they fire up your new body and your brain goes back online.”

            Vincent nodded in response.  The overwhelming calm that was presently enveloping him prevented him from getting very emotional at what was going on.

            “That euphoria you’re feeling is something you get used to once you’re here on a more permanent basis,” Tseng said, smiling.  “Before you go back though, there are some people that would like to see you.”

            Vincent heard more movement and turned to see his father and mother coming to his side.  At once he went to them and embraced them both in turn.  “I’ve missed you both so much…”

            His father smiled widely.  “I’m proud of you.  Despite everything that life has thrown at you, you’re going to come out all right.”

            His mother nodded in agreement.  “We just had to let you know that we love you.”

            “I love you, too.”  Vincent took a comfort he had never known upon knowing that everyone that he had ever cared about who was gone was in such a place.

            “There are some others here,” his father said, pointing behind Vincent.

            He turned around to see Cloud, Aeris, and Lucretia emerge from the darkness.

            Cloud stepped forward and locked gazes with him.  “I just want to thank you for taking care of Tifa.  I know you can give her what I couldn’t.”

            Vincent didn’t know what to say in response and just smiled faintly.

            Aeris came up and took a hold of his hands.  “Kind of strange how we have a daughter together, isn’t it?”

            “Yeah,” Vincent sighed.  “I’m sorry that I wasn’t the nicest guy to you back in the day.”

            “It’s all right.”  Aeris’ bubbly personality hadn’t faded at all.  “You were going through a lot then and I never took it personally.  Cloud and I have watched you and Tifa and we really are happy for you two.”

            “Thanks.”  Vincent let his hands fall from her grip and he looked at Lucretia.  “Hey…”

            She came up and embraced him briefly.  “You’ve done so well.  You’ve got a long recovery in front of you, but you’re going to get through it with flying colors.”

            “I can’t believe that you stuck around in that cave for all those years for me.”  Vincent could appreciate the difference in her appearance from when he had last seen her ghost.  She looked younger now; all the signs of stress and anguish had been erased from her features. 

            “It was what I had to do.  Once you were able to let go and move on, so was I.”  She again took him into her arms and whispered into his ear, “It’s time to go back now.”

            Before he could respond, he felt what was like and electric shock run through his being and again he was plunged into the void of his anesthetic sleep. 

 

***

 

            Tifa’s sleeping medication finally wore off eight hours after she had taken it.  She sat up on the bed and stretched.  Her mind was still groggy from what she had been given and she could have easily lain back down for another few hours of sleep, but when she looked over at the clock, she saw that quite a while had already passed.  She felt obligated to stay awake from here on out just in case anything happened.  She looked around the room and saw that Reno was still lying on the bed he had climbed into earlier but was asleep with the magazine he had been reading resting upon his chest.  Angel was sitting in the same chair she had been in earlier, also sleeping with her head tilted back against the wall.  The only one who was awake was Cid who was sitting in the chair at her bedside, presently giving his baby a bottle.

            He noticed her movement and looked up.  “You were snoring pretty good there for a while.”

            She was immediately embarrassed.  “I was?”

            “You bet you were.”  Cid set the now empty bottle down on the cart near him.  “I don’t know how these other two were able to sleep through it.”

            Tifa could see something in Cid’s expression that quickly told her that he was just teasing.  She reached out and poked him in the shoulder.  “You’re terrible.”

            “I can’t help it that you are so easy.”  Cid smirked.

            “Has anyone come out to give us an update?” Tifa asked, again feeling the familiar knot of anxiety in her chest.

            “No.”  Cid leaned back in his chair, adjusting the hold he had on his infant.  “But I’ll just take it that no news is good news at this point.  At the very least, he must still be alive if they are in there after this long.”

            Tifa was disappointed to hear this but felt that Cid was probably right on his assumption.  “I was out for a long time.  They could be done in as little as four more hours.”

            “Yeah, we’ve still got a while to go.”  Cid was starving as he had skipped breakfast to get to the infirmary early.  “I could really go for something from the cafeteria right about now.”

            Even though she didn’t want to leave the infirmary, Tifa had to admit that she herself was somewhat hungry despite her nerves.  She was unaware that this was a side effect of the drugs she had been given earlier.  “Actually, I’m kind of thinking about getting something to eat, too.”

            Cid didn’t need any further prompting and stood up.  “Let’s get a bite real quick then.  I’m sure the sleeping beauties here can hold down the fort for a few minutes.”

            Tifa slid from the bed and followed him out into the hall.  They went the short distance to the cafeteria.

            As they sat at their table downing their lunches, Cid watched Tifa, pained to see the stress that she was under.  Having himself lost a mate, he knew what she was facing if Vincent didn’t pull through.  “He’s going to be fine, you know.”

            Her mind had been wandering and she was caught off guard by his remark.  “What?”

            “Vincent, he’s going to be fine.”  Cid pushed his empty plate back.  “He wouldn’t dare leave you in my care.”

            She smiled briefly, recalling the conversation she had stumbled in upon between the two men a while back.  Although she had been upset at the time, she now knew that Vincent had only asked Cid to look after her out of real concern.  “You really don’t give yourself enough credit sometimes.  Vincent wouldn’t have asked you to look after me if something happened to him unless he truly believed that you were the best person for the job.  He really does respect you, Cid.”

            He shook his head.  “It’s strange how we could go from wanting to kill one another seven years ago to this.”

            “I know, but we’ve all changed a lot recently.  You and Vincent getting along, Vincent and Reno getting at least to the point of not having physical violence between them.”  Tifa had to laugh.

            “Well, I can agree with Vincent on the fact that Reno is one tough bastard to cope with.”  Cid furrowed his brow in disapproval of Reno’s general attitude.  The old pilot himself had difficulty with the ex-Turk that still needed a lot of ironing out.  “He’s a pain in the ass.”

            “Reno really is a decent guy beneath that front he puts up.  He’s full of crap but deep down inside, he’s got some redeeming qualities.”  Tifa wadded up her napkin and tossed it onto the table.

            “Yeah well don’t expect me to go searching for the little fuzzy Reno down inside that guy.”  Cid scoffed.  “But you’re right.  He’s pulled off some tricks that I at one time wouldn’t have thought him capable of.”

            “I never would have imagined ending up with him as a son in law,” Tifa laughed.  “This whole thing is so surreal.”

            “I wish it was all just a dream.”  He slumped down into his seat, his entire demeanor changing.  “Tifa, I really miss Shera.”

            She reached out and placed her hand over his.  “I’m sorry.”

            Cid quickly pulled his hand away and used it to brush away the tears that were burning his eyes.  He didn’t want Tifa to see him lose his cool at a time like this.  “It’s all right, it’s just that this whole situation has got me thinking about it a lot lately.  The chance that you would have to go through what I did if Vincent died… I can’t stand the thought of it.”

            Tifa was touched by his concern.  “Like you said though, he’s going to be all right so we don’t have to worry about it, do we?”

            “Naw, it’ll be just fine.”  Cid looked into her eyes.  “You’ll see.”

 

***

 

            Thirteen hours after the surgery had begun, the last of the stem cell grafts were complete and Vincent’s heart in his new body had been restarted several hours ago and was still going strong.  His body temperature was back within normal limits and the monitors were picking up brainwaves from him of the type that would be expected for someone under anesthesia.

            Dr. Arlin looked up to see what time it was and gasped when she realized that she had let so much time go by without giving Tifa any sort of update as she had promised.  She immediately walked out of the surgery suite and went to go find Vincent’s wife.

            Reno, Angel, Tifa, and Cid had circled some chairs in the middle of the infirmary and sat talking.  They fell silent and all rose from their seats when they saw Janice emerge from the surgical suite, pulling off her gloves.

            “I’m sorry I didn’t come out sooner,” Dr. Arlin sighed, her guilt obvious.

            “How’s he doing?” Tifa asked, clasping her hands together over her chest.

            The doctor tossed her gloves into a nearby trash can and smiled.  “The worst is over.  He’s in his new body and has been off the bypass machine for quite a while.  The others are just getting ready to close him up.”

            Tifa squealed in her excitement and threw her arms around Cid who was thankfully braced for such an attack as his baby was presently sleeping in Angel’s arms.  Tifa soon let go of Cid and turned back to face Janice.  “How much longer until he’s out of there?”

            She thought for a moment before answering, “Maybe another hour and a half.  Once he’s been closed up we’re going to keep him in the surgical suite for a while though, just in case we need to get him back under the knife for any reason.  I’ll take you to see him as soon as possible.  They’ve already taken his old body out and it’s in the back room.  Quigley and Porter wanted to study it after this is all done.”

            Tifa couldn’t help herself.  “I want to see it.”

            Dr. Arlin frowned.  “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, Tifa.  It’s been pretty cut up in order for them to get him prepped to be moved.”

            Something inside Tifa insisted that she see Vincent’s former self just one last time.  “I know it sounds morbid but I really need to see it.”

            The doctor shrugged knowing that Tifa’s mind had been made up and there would be no refusing her.  “All right, follow me.”

            Tifa did as ordered and went with the doctor through two sets of doors and into what was the infirmary’s make shift morgue.  There was a single gurney inside, covered with a white sheet.  She turned to Dr. Arlin.  “I need to do this alone.”

            Janice respected her wishes and went back to the surgery.

            Tifa steeled herself and went forward to the gurney.  Once beside it, she could see the bloodstains that had spotted the sheet.  With shaking hands, she grabbed the edge of the sheet and pulled it back.

            As the doctor had warned, it wasn’t a pleasant sight.  The familiar black mane that Vincent had sported for so long was gone, shaved away for the surgery.  The incision that had been made to allow the surgeons to remove the top and back portions of his skull had been hastily closed with just a few sutures.  Vincent’s red eyes were half opened, staring out blankly into space.  Trails of blood had run from the corners of Vincent’s lips from the roof of his mouth having been cut open to allow the surgeons access to nerves and connections that ran behind his face. The mechanical portion of his body hadn’t gone untouched either, as the panel covering his chest had been removed to allow his artificial heart to have been stopped.

            Even though Vincent wasn’t dead, this body was and it’s ghastly appearance sent a chill down Tifa’s spine.  She picked up one of his hands, surprised at the weight of it as all of the inner workings were now unpowered.

            Tifa heard the door open again behind her but she didn’t turn to see who it was as she could tell by the steps approaching her that it was Cid. 

            He walked up to her and placed an arm around her shoulders.  He examined the body before them and was a little unnerved by it.  “God damn, what a mess.”

            “Yeah.”  Tifa let her head come to rest against Cid’s shoulder.  “Looking at it now it’s sort of hard to believe that he’s alive somewhere else.”

            “This has got to be the weirdest damn thing I’ve ever seen,” Cid sighed.  He couldn’t look at the body anymore and turned his gaze down to Tifa.  “If he’s made it this far, I guess it’s looking pretty good.”

            Tifa smiled for the first time in several hours, finally feeling a little of her anxiety relax.  She still had her eyes fixed on the form before her.  “It’s strange how different it looks just from not having him in there anymore.”

            When Cid had been in the military, he’d seen several of his friends after they had been killed in battle.  He himself had always been struck with the change in appearance the loss of the soul caused a body and agreed.  “It happens to everyone when they die, except in this case, he’s not dead, just elsewhere.”

            They both turned when the doors were thrown open.  Their heart rates jumped as they expected to see the doctor running in with bad news, but when they saw that it was just Reno, they gathered their nerves.

            Reno shoved his hands into his pockets and approached the body.  It instantly gave him the willies to look at what had been Vincent, but he did his best to cover any negative reaction.  “This shit would all have been a lot easier if he’d just been a hermit crab.”

            Tifa and Cid both stared at Reno, their expressions a little confused.

            Reno rolled his eyes, seeing that he was going to have to explain what he thought to have been a rather clever comment.  “Jeez, you know, a hermit crab?  We could’ve just gotten him a new shell at the beach.”

            “Reno, you’re a freak,” Tifa said, putting her hands on her hips.

            “Whatever.”  Reno crossed his arms over his chest and scowled.  “Let’s get the hell out of here, it’s creepy.”

            “I think that’s a good idea.  Come on, Tifa.”  Cid took her hand in his and led her from the room.

            Tifa looked back over her shoulder one last time at the body she’d grown so accustomed too.