Guilt’s Cost: Part LXXXV

Drinking’s Effects

After fleeing from the lab upon confirming Hojo’s tampering with Rayna, Porter had not known where to go. At first he was desperate to see her, but knew that in his own obviously disturbed state that she would figure out that something was wrong and he didn’t want to scare her. Instead, he hit the button in the elevator that would take him to the top floor of the building. He was headed for the President’s office, but not to see Harwin himself. Rather, he felt the need to see his only real friend, Rude.

Porter stepped out of the elevator and was faced by the huge doors to the President’s chambers. Rasta and Kimo flanked the great doors, assigned to their usual guard duty.

"Hey man, what you doin’ up here?" Rasta asked, surprised to see Porter.

"I need to see Rude." Porter did his best to act calmer than he felt.

Kimo crossed his arms, picking up on the younger man’s discomfort. "Something wrong?"

Porter shook his head and dropped his gaze. "I just wanted to pay him a social visit. There’s been some things on my mind, that’s all."

"You sure that Hojo didn’t fuck with you?" Kimo couldn’t help but ask.

"No, it’s not that." Porter lied, and was bad at it.

Kimo huffed and pressed the radio piece in his ear. "Hey Rude, you around? Oh, hey, yeah, Porter’s up here looking for you. I don’t know what’s up, but he’s not looking too happy. Okay, I’ll tell him."

Porter waited for the radio conversation to end. He grew dark in the realization that everyone that knew him seemed to be able to see his feelings. It wasn’t becoming of a Turk to be so transparent.

"Rude says he’s off in a few minutes. He’ll be out soon." Kimo said, letting his hand fall back to his side.

"Great." Porter reached down and patted D on the head. Even the dog looked as though it knew something was wrong with his master.

"How long you gonna keep that dog?" Kimo teased.

Porter was as attached to the animal as any pet owner could be without becoming obsessive and Kimo’s jest riled him. "Shut up, Kimo."

"God damned your touchy lately." Rasta laughed as he saw Porter stare down Kimo with what had to be called a threatening gaze.

The doors to the office opened and Rude stepped out. He knew that Kimo and Rasta never let Porter have a moment’s peace and suspected that they had already offended him. Rude turned to his associates. "You guys get to stay here for two more hours. The President will leave after the Consulate from Gongaga arrives."

Rasta and Kimo produced a unison moan of disappointment. Standing outside the doors for another two hours wasn’t appealing, and Kimo spoke up. "How come you’re taking off then?"

Rude smiled as he turned to his friend. "Because I am a senior officer and I get to do what I want. See you tomorrow."

With that, Rude and Porter stepped onto the elevator and headed to the lobby.

Rude examined Porter thoughtfully before speaking. "What did the son of a bitch do now?"

Porter looked down at his dog. "What do you assume that it has anything to do with Hojo?"

"Because it always has something to do with Hojo." Rude sighed. "The only other things that would have you so upset would be your dog dying and he’s obviously fine, or Rayna leaving you and then you’d be crying."

"Oh…" Porter never ceased to be amazed at Rude’s deduction skills. That is why the older man had made such a great Turk all these years. "Let’s get to the bar first, all right?"

Rude knew that if it was horrible enough to require the young man to drink it must be very bad. He didn’t have the patients to wait that long and pried on. "Don’t tell me that you’re upset over what he’s doing to Tifa and Vincent."

"No, that’s not it." The fact that what the madman had done to them was bothering him showed. The vision of Vincent strapped to the table missing most of his body was going to haunt him for sometime to come. But that wasn’t the main problem. "It involves Rayna."

Rude was dumbstruck. The fact that Hojo would mess with Porter’s girlfriend was over the top, although not out of character for the scientist. "What did he do to her?"

"Please wait until we get out of this building first. I don’t feel comfortable talking about it here." Porter’s voice was barely a whisper.

Rude pursed his lips and grew silent. He knew that it wouldn’t be out of the question for Hojo to have bugs on the elevator. He spent the rest of the trip to the lobby without any more words.

They got into Porter’s car in the parking structure across the street and rode to their favorite bar a few miles away. They arrived and took up a dark booth in the corner. The owners of this establishment didn’t give Porter any grief about being accompanied by his canine. If they were to get busted, a dog was going to be the least of their worries.

The barmaid brought Rude his typical beer and Porter ordered a whiskey sour. Once he was handed his drink, Porter downed it quickly and asked for another.

Rude had never seen his friend drink like that and grew concerned. "So what is it?"

Porter shoved his empty glass to the edge of the table and sighed. "He’s put some sort of implant into Rayna that will kill her if anything happens to him. He said he did it to assure my loyalty."

Rude was quiet for a moment. "Damn man, I’m sorry."

Porter glanced around the room in paranoia. "The guy he’s got in the lab said he could help me."

"Who? Vincent?" Rude knitted his brows.

"Yeah, he said that ASRIO could help Rayna and I think I’m going to take his offer." Porter brought his teary eyes up to meet Rude’s.

"Hold up there, Porter." Rude pointed an accusatory finger across the table. "Vincent is in no position to be offering you anything. You can’t trust him."

"I don’t see that I have a choice!" Porter put his elbows onto the table. "I think Hojo is going to let Tifa go soon, and she will be able to get in contact with ASRIO for me. If they can help Rayna, then I have to take their offer! I can’t let her die!"

"But she’ll only die if something happens to Hojo." Rude corrected. "You don’t think anything is going to happen to him, do you?"

Porter’s own desire to kill the scientist caused his face to flush. "You know as well as I do that there are a million people out to get him. It’s only a matter of time before someone takes him out, or at least tries to."

"But going to the enemy for help? Think about what you’re saying! Ain’t no girl worth that! I already watched my old friend Reno pull that shit, and I am not going to let you do it too!" Rude’s long suppressed anger flared.

"Reno?" Porter sat upright, recognizing the name. "Reno was a Turk?"

"You’re damn right he was." Rude took another swig of his beer. "And a damned good one, but his girlfriend, also a former Turk convinced him to not reenlist after the reformation of the Turks. They killed her and that’s when he joined ASRIO."

Porter was taken aback by Rude’s display of emotion. He had never seen the older man show such strong feelings. "I didn’t know that he was a Turk."

"Well, he was." Rude polished off the remainder of his beer. "There’s got to be another way to help Rayna that doesn’t involve them. I don’t trust Tseng."

"Tseng being the leader of ASRIO?" Porter already knew the answer.

"Right, and also a former Turk." Rude laid his bottle on its side and slowly spun it.

Porter knew at least that much. Despite what Rude was feeling, Porter still felt that ASRIO was his best chance at helping Rayna. "What else could I do?"

Rude thought for a moment. "I don’t know, but if you screw this up, I know what’s going to happen to you, and that is not something I would like."

Again, the vision of Vincent in the lab reared its head and Porter felt a chill on his skin. But just as Vincent had gotten himself into his present situation over a woman, Porter was quickly heading down that same path. Saving Rayna’s life was his only concern.

Rude could see the thoughts playing out in his friend’s mind and knew that this argument was going to be a losing battle. "Just please be careful."

***

A few hours later Porter was driving through the streets of the town. He had already dropped Rude off at home and it was getting to be late. With as much as he had drunk at the bar he really had no business driving, but with his heartache his judgement was impaired. Finally deciding that he couldn’t stand it any more, he drove to Rayna’s place and went up to her door.

She answered after a few moments, clearly relived to see Porter standing there with D. "I tried to call you after work, but you weren’t home."

He stepped in and took her in his arms. The tears that he had been holding back made their way out. He buried his face in the nape of her neck and his body was wracked with sobs. "Oh Rayna…"

"What’s wrong?" She immediately filled with concern, not knowing what could be making him so upset. It wasn’t like him to cry and she grew afraid. Rayna could smell the alcohol on him, but knew that even when drunk this wasn’t how the Turk would behave.

There was no way that he could tell her what the problem was. It would just upset her, and that was something he couldn’t bear to do. He held her tighter. "I love you so much…"

His words combined with his emotional state burned into her heart. Could he really be this worked up over his feelings for her? "I love you, too."

He straightened up and gazed down into her eyes. Porter couldn’t think of how he had managed to live for twenty-six years with out her in his life, and he knew he most certainly couldn’t go on with out her. "No, I really love you… more than anything."

She smiled and reached up wiping the tears from his face. Even in his disheveled and emotional state he was a very beautiful man and she was lost in his evergreen eyes. "Porter…"

He could sense some small change in her composure and made a primal realization. She was going to give herself to him for the first time. Porter soon felt her lips burning upon his and he closed his eyes. Rayna had just finished a glass of red wine before his arrival, and he could taste it upon her tongue.

Rayna was filled with both anticipation and nervousness. She had always been a little afraid of sex. She had only ever done it once back in high school, and that had been such an awkward and painful experience that she had avoided it ever since. With trembling hands she pushed his overcoat and suit jacket from his shoulders.

Porter had been waiting for this since the first time they had gone out and was in some measure of shock that it was finally going to happen. Although he was more experienced at this than his mate, he was still by no means an expert and too was nervous about his performance. Things had never worked out for him romance novel style to say the least. His fingers worked slowly to undo the eight buttons that held her blouse closed.

Rayna stepped back for a moment and dropped her gaze to the ground. "Porter?"

He filled with fear that she was changing her mind. "Yes?"

"Let’s go back to my room. I can’t do this with D looking." A faint smile graced her lips.

Porter looked over to see the dog sitting a short distance away staring at them with his short tail wagging. He laughed to himself. "Oh, yeah, it is a little weird…"

Rayna looked up at him with bright eyes and took his hand, leading him to her bedroom. The dog tried to follow, but Porter quickly shut the door locking his canine out in the hall. Porter turned back to Rayna with a slight frown.

"What?" She asked, dimming the lights.

"I think this is the first time I’ve been separated from him since finding him." Porter mused.

Rayna knew this was true as the dog even seemed to always follow him into the bathroom. "I think he’ll live."

Porter realized that he was trying to postpone the inevitable. He took Rayna back into his arms and kissed her again. He managed to undo the remaining buttons of her top and slide it off her. He looked down to see her teal satin bra, realizing that it was hooked in the front. Gently Porter reached out and undid its clasp and it fell to the floor.

Rayna looked away, embarrassed at her sudden exposure. Her instinct was to cover herself with her arms, but held back from doing so. Her cheeks grew red from her shyness.

Porter felt her tension and drew his gaze up and placed his hand under her chin, turning her to look back at him. "Don’t be afraid…"

She produced a weak smile for him, still very self-conscious about her body. Her blush grew deeper and spread to her neck. "I’m just not used to being looked at."

"You’re perfect, Rayna." He leaned forward and kissed her again, cupping her left breast with his hand. He reveled in the sensation of her soft skin, her fullness more than enough to fill his hand. His thumb grazed over her nipple, causing her to gasp quietly.

With her mouth still on his, she dared to push his shirt off his shoulders, and then allowed her hands to drop to his belt. She struggled to get it undone, but managed after a few moments. As soon as she had his slacks unbuttoned and unzipped, they fell down to the floor. Porter stepped out of them, also leaving his dress shoes behind.

Porter pulled her close again and let his hands trail down her back to the waist of her skirt. He let his tongue explore the contours of her neck as he slowly pulled her skirt down off her hips. Rayna was left standing before him in nothing other than her panties, which were of the same teal fabric of her bra. They had slowly made their way toward her bed, and it now was pressing against the backs of her knees. In her nervous state, she allowed herself to sit down.

Porter stood before her staring down at where she sat. Oh God, please tell me she’s going to do it…

Rayna now found herself confronted with Porter’s loose fitting boxers. His erection beneath them was all too obvious, and she again felt a blush come over her. Timidly she reached out and pulled them off of him, freeing his length.

Porter closed his eyes, also feeling self-conscious about her first look at him. When she touched him, it was not what he had expected.

Rayna traced a short line across his left hip. "What’s this?"

Porter opened his eyes feeling terribly embarrassed, although he didn’t know why. When he saw that she was inspecting the small black row of numbers drawn into the skin of his hip, he smiled. "That’s my Turk identification number."

She looked up into his eyes, completely ignoring his arousal before her. "Huh?"

He stroked her hair with his right hand. "All Turks are marked with their I.D. number. You know, in case something happens and they need to know which one we are."

"Oh…" Rayna accepted his answer, realizing that she, just like Porter a few minutes before was trying to delay their actions. She knew what she wanted to do to him now, to reward his patients with her, but she never had and was afraid.

Porter saw as her eyes were drawn back down upon him. He caught his breath as she touched him again, this time where he was expecting. Porter’s eyes closed again as he hoped that she would do the obvious.

Rayna didn’t let him down, and after steeling herself, took him into her mouth. She went slowly, not wanting to accidentally graze him with her teeth, and she heard him sigh in gratitude as she continued. After a few moments something slightly sweet was left upon her tongue, and she feared that she had gone too far.

Porter felt her pull away from him and he looked down.

She looked embarrassed. "Is everything okay?"

He was slightly confused. "Yeah, why?"

"Oh, I thought…" She looked away shyly.

He realized that she had mistaken some of his natural lubricant for something else. "No, that wasn’t what you thought."

They both remained still as a short yet awkward silence descended upon them. Finally Porter realized that he was going to have to take the initiative and he dropped to his knees. Again he kissed her, this time while sliding her underwear from her. The scent of her perfume and body met him, making him all the more anxious. He brought his body closer to hers, forcing her knees apart gently. His right hand made its way up her thigh, soon reaching where she was most desperate to be touched. Porter parted her with his thin fingers and felt her respond.

Rayna’s last sexual encounter had left her unfulfilled, but she already knew that Porter wasn’t going to fail her. He wasn’t a gawky self-absorbed high school boy, but rather a man that knew a female was just as capable of enjoying the experience as he.

After working her with his hand for several minutes, Porter could feel her readiness. While kneeling before her, and with Rayna sitting on the edge of the bed, he pulled her closer. He took his right hand and grasped himself, ready to guide it into her, but before he did he looked into her eyes. "Rayna, are you sure?"

She had never been more certain of anything in her life. "Yes…"

He met her lips again with his, feverishly trying to distract her from the sensation of being entered. Despite his attempt to keep her from feeling the initial shock, she writhed against him, but not in pain. After all the stimulation he had given her before, his first thrust was enough to cause her to climax. Rayna threw her arms around him and dug her fingers into the flesh of his back. This compared in no way to personal gratification and she couldn’t suppress the cry that escaped her lips. "Oh Porter!"

There was a desperate urge within him to drive at her fast and hard, but he didn’t want to risk hurting her, even as he felt her contract around his cock. His desire to let go within her was almost impossible to repress, and had it not been for the alcohol in his blood he wouldn’t have managed.

Rayna, now even more sensitive after orgasm could feel him grow within her as his own excitement mounted. She wanted to feel him fill her, and whispered into his ear. "Porter, I want you to do it…"

This was more than he could take. He drove into her more forcefully, but was still gentle. Porter grunted with his last few thrusts, producing a small cry of his own as his seed was let into her.

Rayna gasped as she felt his climax, reveling in the sensation. They remained there in each other's arms for several moments longer, before Porter finally withdrew.

Rayna kissed him again. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He smiled back at her; his worry about what Hojo had done for the moment gone.