Guilt’s Cost: Part XLIV

Insomnia

It was late at night and most of the people within the base were asleep except for a few. Angel was finding it hard to sleep and she sat on the edge of the bed. Reno was snoring away next to her, oblivious for the moment to her unrest. She eventually rose from the bed and pulled on a robe. Not wanting to disturb Reno who was apparently having a dream judging from his mumbling she opened to door to their quarters and stepped out into the hall.

Angel walked without thinking of where she was headed. The nighttime illumination of the base was surreal and if she had been paying any attention to her surroundings, she might have found it eerie.

Inevitably her feet carried her to the detention block. She scanned the room and found her eyes drawn to Vincent’s box. There was someone laying on the floor next to it wrapped in a blanket. After taking a few more steps forward, she could see that it was Tifa. Angel cleared her throat quietly, not wishing to frighten her.

Upon hearing someone close, Tifa sat up slowly spotting Angel near by. Having been unable to sleep in her lonely quarters Tifa too had made her way down here. Sleep still evaded her and she had spent several hours now just staring at the side of Vincent’s casket. "Hi Angel."

Angel produced a lazy smile and came to Tifa’s side where she promptly sat on the ground next to her. "Can’t sleep either, I see."

Tifa turned her gaze back to the casket. "No, I couldn’t stand the thought of him down here all alone. It’s stupid, I know, he’s not aware of anything around him now."

Angel shook her head slightly. "I guess I kind of came down here to check on him, too. I wish I could have gotten to know him more before this."

Tifa scooted closer to her friend. "I could tell you about him, if you want."

"Would you?" Angel stared back at Tifa with tear filled eyes.

"I think it would be good for both of us." Tifa said, pulling the blanket up around her shoulders to ward off the cold.

"Then tell me about the first time you met him, and what your first impressions were." Angel asked, pulling a corner of Tifa’s blanket over to cover her lap.

Tifa smiled as she turned her eyes up toward the ceiling. "Let’s see… We were down in the basement of the Shin Ra mansion. We had found a key earlier and couldn’t figure out what it was for. Finally, we found this little side room that the key opened. We went inside; finding the room littered with these stasis boxes. All of them were empty except for this one."

Angel nodded as Tifa waved to the casket before them. "And he was inside?"

"Yes." Tifa dropped her eyes to the floor. "I was the first to go up to it, and I brushed away the dust covering the little window. I expected to see either nothing or a skeleton inside but instead I saw this beautiful and sad looking man within. Cloud, never a patient one push by me and threw the lid open. After a little bit, Vincent stood up and looked around. He seemed so confused, like he was living in another time, which I guess was kind of true. When he realized that we were not the people he wanted and how long he’d been in there, he jumped right back in and closed the lid. Cloud got frustrated and had us leave the room and check out the rest of the basement. After looking through some old Shin Ra records Cloud decided we should go. I begged him to let us try and see if Vincent would come with us. I just couldn’t stand the thought of us leaving him down there forever. Cloud finally gave in and I went over and opened the lid again. Vincent stared up at me with the most annoyed look I think I have ever seen in my life. He tried to reach up and close the lid again, but I wouldn’t let him. After we told him what was going on, he grudgingly agreed to come with us."

Angel grinned. "Thank God for your persistence."

"Yeah," Tifa sighed. "After that he stayed with us, but always at the edge of the group. He never took part in conversations or anything like that. Everyone thought that just meant he was, to quote Cid, ‘a cold ass bastard’, but I didn’t think they were right. Whenever I got the chance I would try to talk to him. It didn’t take me long to realize that his problem was heartache, and a lot of it. Even through his cool act, I could see there was a very caring and lost person inside of him. My sympathy eventually turned into friendship and he opened up to me just a little, but still more than he had to anyone else."

"And he came to love you for your kindness?" Angel asked.

"Well," Tifa reached out and touched the side of the casket lightly, "when our mission was over he just sort of vanished. I didn’t know where he had gone to or why, but something inside me said that he would come back eventually. Seven years later that happened. When I saw him again, I felt so good. I had been missing him a lot more than I had realized. And then when Cloud killed himself, Vincent took care of me. I didn’t realize at first exactly why he’d come back but after a short time he told me he’d fallen in love with me. I was incredibly touched to hear him say that, and for him to come back after all that time was an indication that he hadn’t just done it on a whim."

Angel’s smile widened. "Thank you for sharing that with me. When you come back from Mideel, will you tell me about my mother too?"

"You got it." Tifa said getting up from the floor. Having talked to Angel had calmed her and she was starting to feel tired. "Maybe I’ll go back to bed now."

Angel got up as well. "Yeah, I think I will too."

They walked back to their respective rooms. Angel slipped back into her quarters and back into bed with Reno, who’d never noticed she had been gone.

Tifa on the other hand, remained outside her door for a while. The thought of being alone for the rest of the night was hurting her and she needed someone. She gave thought to seeing Tseng, but then decided that Cid would be better. She knew that had she gone to Tseng she would have just been doing it in order to pretend that he was Vincent again and that didn’t feel right.

Once at Cid’s door she knocked lightly, knowing that it didn’t take much to wake up the man. After hearing some rustling and quiet cursing from the inside, Cid opened the door.

He squinted his eyes in his drowsiness. "Tifa? What you doing here?"

She hung her head, ashamed to admit the truth. "I don’t want to be alone. I was just wondering if I could maybe sleep here."

Cid shrugged and let her in. "As long as you mean sleep as in sleep, cause I am God Damned tired and as you reminded me earlier, married."

"Of course I mean sleep, Cid." Tifa laughed to herself. "You want me to lay on the couch?"

Cid scratched his head as he staggered back over to the bed. "I don’t care where you sleep. Get in bed over here if you’re so inclined."

Tifa’s aching body couldn’t refuse his offer. The two of them settled into the double bed. Despite his tiredness, Cid could still feel Tifa’s worry and he rolled on his side. She looked at him in the dim light and gave an insincere smile. Cid’s heart was stung just enough by the way she looked to cause him to place one of his arms over her. Tifa closed her eyes enjoying her friend’s closeness and after a while, she fell asleep.