Guilt’s Cost: Part CXIV

Sleep

It was just a little after one in the morning when the baby awoke for the second time in the night, thus signaling Cid to get up for his turn at tending the child. He reluctantly pulled himself out of the warm bed and away from Tifa’s comforting embrace. Down the darkened hall he shuffled reaching the nursery. Cid flipped on the light and squinted in pain as he let his eyes adjust. He scooped up his son and made his way out to the kitchen. Not knowing how else to go about it, he placed the bundled and crying infant onto the counter next to where he was going to prepare the bottle.

The baby’s crying intensified as he was removed from his father’s hold and the shrill sound was by far more abrasive to Cid’s ears now than it had been during the day. He took a bottle from the shelf and dumped a scoop of formula into it. When he had the tap running hot he filled the bottle with water. Just as he started to pick up the bottle’s top, the infant let out a particularly piercing screech. Cid, in his high strung state jumped and promptly dropped the bottle to the ground. Formula splashed everywhere and Cid lost it. "God damned mother fucking bottle!"

Tifa flew from the bedroom upon hearing Cid’s cursing. She found him standing with his arms at his sides staring down at the mess before him. The baby was still laying on the counter crying. She made her way over and picked up the bottle from the floor. "It’s okay, Cid."

"Fuck this, Tifa!" Cid threw his hands up into the air. "I can’t fucking do this! What kind of life is this kid gonna have with just me?"

Tifa quickly realized that the man’s frustration went far beyond just a spilled bottle. "Cid, you’ll do fine. You’re just really tired and stressed right now."

"You’re God damned right I am." Cid turned slightly, catching sight of his wriggling and screaming baby. Upon seeing the infant lying there lonely and defenseless something within Cid snapped. Tears at once came to his eyes and he scooped up the child, holding him closely. The infant’s cries quickly began to subside. "I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, little guy."

Seeing that Cid was getting a grip, Tifa took the bottle and rinsed it in the sink before again filling it with formula. Once it was ready she handed it to Cid, who went over to the kitchen table and sat. As he began to feed the infant, his spent nerves relaxed a little and his blood pressure returned to normal.

Tifa in the meanwhile pulled some dishtowels from a drawer and got to the task of cleaning up the mess. After all the formula was blotted up she carried the soiled towels to the laundry room and dumped them on top of the washer. That done, she returned to Cid’s side.

"Are you okay?" Tifa asked, placing a hand upon his shoulder.

Cid looked up at her with exhausted eyes. "Yeah, why don’t you go back to bed?"

"Are you sure?" Tifa bent down a little as to get a better look at the precious baby.

"Yeah, I think so." With Tifa this close Cid couldn’t help but kiss her sweetly upon the lips.

She smiled back at him, a little surprised by what he had just done. "Cid Highwind, did you just kiss me?"

He laughed, slightly embarrassed. "I guess I did."

Tifa giggled and placed her hands onto her hips. "I am a married woman, if you’ll recall."

"Well hell, Tifa." Cid’s grin widened. He was actually enjoying himself for the first time since that morning. "Like I said before, you belong to Vincent and me. Besides, it’s not like I was trying to give you a tonsil exam like Jaras."

Tifa laughed aloud and whacked Cid in the shoulder. "You’re terrible."

"So you keep saying." Cid turned his attention back to his son. "Now go back to bed, woman."

"Okay, don’t get pissy." Tifa gave him a wink before she skipped back off to bed.

Cid sighed deeply and felt his tiredness return as he continued to watch his son take the bottle. How long exactly it took for the baby to finish, Cid didn’t know, as he dozed on and off during the feeding. Once the baby was done, he got up and placed the bottle into the sink and went back to the nursery to change the baby’s diaper after a quick burping.

He quickly got the infant cleaned and changed. As he picked the baby back up from the changing table, Cid found himself simply unable to place the child back down into the cold crib. He raised his eyebrows and grinned faintly. "Do you want to sleep with Daddy?"

The baby was already growing drowsy again and made the sweetest sound that Cid had ever heard in his life.

Cid’s grin widened. "I’ll take that as a yes."

With the child in his arms he crept back into the bedroom, hoping not to wake Tifa if she had managed to get back to sleep. He slid beneath the sheets and rested the infant on his chest, pulling up the blanket enough to keep the baby covered and warm.

Tifa wasn’t asleep and she laid in silence, watching the spectacle unable to keep herself from smiling. Watching Cid being so gentle was deeply touching and she eventually crept back over to his side and kissed him on the cheek. "You are a great father."

Cid was embarrassed but at the same time too tired to care. "Thanks."

***

Back on the airship Vincent and Jaras had turned in as well. They had gone back into Vincent’s room and were sharing the tiny bed. Jaras had continued to tremble from his recollection earlier and not knowing what else to do, Vincent had reached over and taken his son’s hand in his own. Jaras, not accustomed to human contact was warmed by this enough to relax. After a while the both of them managed to fall off to sleep.

Vincent slept with a smile upon his lips. The next day he was going to be reunited with Tifa and his dreams were filled with visions of the event. Maybe they had only been separated for a short time but to him it had seemed like years. He knew that the next day would pass torturously slow as he waited for the airship to reach Rocket.