Guilt’s Cost: Part CXXX

Second Thoughts

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

The echoes of everyone’s footsteps rang through the passageway making it sound like there were at least twice as many people in the landing party. The damaged and dark portion of the corridor that undermined Sector Three eventually gave way to better kept and lit passages that winded their way toward the reactor that was their goal. The small green fluorescent tubes that provided the dim illumination for them were a sickly color, reminiscent of the glowing vapor that rose from the abandoned Mako reactors.

Vincent took notice that the pace of progress they were making had slowed. He made his way up until he reached Porter’s side. "Is everything all right?"

From the intense expression along with the copious amount of sweat running down his face, it was very clear that something most definitely wasn’t right with the former Turk. Making certain that his voice wouldn’t betray the amount of pain he was in he responded. "No, just being careful not to get us lost."

Even without having been a Turk it would have been obvious to Vincent that Porter was lying. However, since he was also able to tell that the only thing preoccupying Porter’s mind was pain and suspicion that they were being led into any sort of trap evaporated. Without another word, Vincent fell back in line until he was at Tifa’s side again.

She looked at him with curiosity, wondering what he just transpired. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, he’s just slowing from pain." Vincent responded with a sigh. He was worried about the Turk’s condition compromising this mission but wasn’t about to let on to her. "That’s all."

Even without him having said anything, Tifa knew what was worrying him. "Is he going to make it?"

"I’m not too sure." Vincent shook his head slightly. "I think he’s pushing himself too hard. I would hope though that he would know his own limits and if need be, he could turn back and return to the chopper with Ericson once we are into the lab."

"You know he won’t do that though, don’t you?" Tifa gave him a sidelong glance.

"Yes, I know he won’t." The truth was just that simple. But if Porter’s inability to function became a risk to anyone on this mission, Vincent knew his role. Unbeknownst to anyone, Vincent had been given yet another impossible order by his brother before departure that morning. Tseng had given Vincent the command to eliminate the former Turk should he become a hindrance or if there should come to light any question of his motives. Without any conscious thought, Vincent reached down and touched the gun strapped to his hip.

Tifa caught this movement out of the corner of her eye and instantly her jaw dropped. In a hushed but firm voice she confronted her husband. "You wouldn’t!"

With absolutely no expression on his face he looked over at her, not slowing his pace in the least. "I don’t think I’m even going to dignify that with a response."

Tifa’s eyes grew wide. "Would you just kill anyone on your brother’s word?"

Vincent knitted his brows and turned his gaze forward again. "Tifa, you know that isn’t how it is."

"Send him back, forbid him from going on but not that!" Tifa stopped dead in her tracks and let her voice rise slightly, not really caring who heard.

Fortunately for Vincent, no one did hear as they were a good distance behind the others. He halted and put his hands on her shoulders and locked her into his gaze. "Listen to me! I am not going to put anyone at risk by letting him become a problem. I wouldn’t just take him out like that, I would let him know what was at stake and then if he refused to turn back then I would do what I had to do."

"Isn’t it bad enough that you already had to kill Cloud?" Her eyes brimmed with tears.

Vincent was momentarily shocked by her question. "You know damned well that the person I shot was not Cloud, it was a computer. What is this really about?"

Her expression at once changed from anger to sadness. "I want to go back."

"Why?" He softened his tone.

"I don’t want to risk losing you." Tifa’s voice wavered. "We both know what Hojo would do in order to get you. I just can’t bear losing you, Vincent, I just can’t!"

Somewhat taken aback by her change of heart, Vincent pulled her to him and held her tight. "Hojo isn’t going to get me or you or anyone else. He is going to die Tifa, do you understand?"

"We couldn’t kill him before, what makes us think that we can kill him now?" She was pleading.

"Tifa, trust me we can kill him. If there is anything I know it is that I can stop him from hurting anyone else ever again." He stroked her hair trying in vain to comfort her, hoping that the others weren’t getting too far ahead of them.

"All night I dreamt that he had us again. I just kept hearing him say over and over how much he loved you and that he was going to do terrible things to you." Her words were muffled slightly from her face pressing into his shirt.

The fact that Tifa was aware of Hojo’s exact sentiments toward him made Vincent feel sick. Even if these were just words she had heard in a dream and may not be based on anything she had ever heard it still chilled him to the core. "Tifa, it was a dream. I swear to you that he will not capture me, you, or anyone else do you understand? We have to go on with this. If we don’t you know what is at stake. Do you want others to go through what we, Jaras, and Lucretia went through?"

"N…no." She stammered.

"Then we must do this and finish it this time." Vincent held her out at arm’s length and brushed some hair away from her face. "I’m going to need you to trust me, can you do that?"

Tifa nodded slightly, getting again in control of herself, slightly ashamed of this outburst. "Okay."

"Let’s go then." Vincent smiled as he started to walk again with her hand in his.

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