Guilt’s Cost: Part CXXXVIII

Onward

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

How long exactly it was that Vincent knelt there cradling his emotionally shattered wife in his arms was unknown. He felt the eyes of those gathered in the room glancing at the two of them there during their hushed conversations. What they were talking about he did care, they were not his main concern at the moment. The only thing that mattered to him now was whether or not Tifa was going to be okay.

Eventually, Reno and Rude made their way to the lab. Kimo and Porter were both very happy and relieved to see Rude, and Reno was grateful to find his friends present and accounted for.

Some more time passed before Porter asked the burning and obvious question. "Where’s Morris?"

Reno dropped his gaze to the floor and kicked at a stray piece of glass. "He didn’t make it."

Tifa lifted her head from Vincent’s chest at the news. No longer able to cry, she simply whispered, "Oh, poor Morris…"

Needing to move the subject along, Reno became thoughtful. "Speaking of MIA’s, where’s Jaras?"

Vincent sighed deeply as he and Tifa finally managed to their feet. "He left."

"And what all has happened here?" Reno asked, motioning around the room.

"There was a growth accelerator in here, containing Hojo’s last attempt at the Neo-Jenova Project but Jaras destroyed it." Vincent shook his head slightly, knowing that his son had simply done what had to be finished.

"Okay." Reno accepted this answer, having only one other question. "Where’s Hojo?"

All present turned their attention to Vincent at this point, as he was the only one that knew. "He’s dead. I was struggling with him and just when I was about to fall off the catwalk with Hojo hanging from me, Jaras showed up and managed to pull me to safety while Hojo fell down into the well."

Vincent’s simplified explanation seemed to appease everyone. Truth be told no one had the energy left to question for more details.

Tifa had gathered herself somewhat and she looked to her husband. "Shouldn’t we go?"

He nodded in response. "Yes, we should."

Rude cleared his throat. "The quickest way out is up the last flight of stairs at the end of the corridor. That will lead you to a helicopter landing pad, since I can only assume that’s how you all managed to get onto the Plate in the first place."

"And what about you and Kimo?" Porter asked, limping severely to his former boss’s side.

"I plan on keeping my job and maybe doing a little spying for you guys." Rude gave an uncharacteristically large smile. "Hopefully, Kimo will do the same."

"Whatever you want." Kimo replied.

Vincent went over and extended a hand to Rude. "I can’t thank you enough. I may not know all that went on today, but I’m sure this would have turned out a lot differently if you hadn’t done what you did."

Rude nodded. "No problem, thanks. Like I said to someone else today, us Turks have to look out for each other, past and present."

Little more was said as the remaining ASRIO agents headed out to the landing pad. Jaras was no where to be found and Vincent knew that even if he went to search for him at this point it would be fruitless. If Jaras was anything like his father then when he wanted to be alone, no one could find him.

Once outside, Vincent took a headset from Porter and put it on, his own having been lost in the fight with Hojo. "Tseng?"

After a few moments, the radio cracked to life. "Tsuvati?"

Vincent smiled widely at the sound of his true name. "Mind getting us out of here? It stinks."

Tseng’s relief at hearing his brother’s voice was transmitted through the radio. "We’re on our way. What’s the status of the mission?"

"Mission was a success." Vincent lowered his voice slightly. "We lost Morris."

Tseng was silent for a moment. "Morris… God damn it. Everyone else is all right?"

At that moment, Vincent was startled by the sound of the door out of the lab being thrown open. He spun and along with the others was surprised to find Jaras standing there.

"Everyone else is fine." Vincent finally responded, relieved that his son had returned.

"Okay, we will be there shortly. Tseng out."

Vincent pulled the headset off and handed it back to Porter before striding over to his son. "Are you okay?"

Jaras had lost the cold and vacant look that had been in his eyes earlier. In its place was an expression of overwhelming exhaustion and sadness. He dropped his gaze to the side and sighed. "I don’t know…"

"Jaras, look at me." Vincent ordered.

He did as his father demanded after a few moments of hesitation.

"You did what you had to do and no one will hold that against you." Vincent reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Tifa… she hates me now." Tears brimmed within his eyes. "Everything I did in there, it was like I had no control over any of it. Like something was driving me… Once I got a little ways away from that room where the rest of you were, whatever it was left me."

"Tifa doesn’t hate you, Jaras." His tone was firm but sympathetic. "She hates what had to happen but not you. That Project had to be ended and if you hadn’t done it someone else would have."

"You couldn’t do it." Jaras found it impossible to hold back the tears any longer.

Vincent was silent for a moment, as Jaras had him on this one. "It doesn’t matter anymore; it’s over."

"I hope so." Jaras reached down and untied his sword from his belt. He then held it out with a shaking hand to his father. "I don’t want this anymore."

Vincent accepted the weapon. "Understood. I’ll have it taken care of."

"Thanks." Jaras took a step back. "I think Tifa needs you right now."

"Okay." Vincent turned from his son and made his way back to Tifa’s side. He found her still trembling with emotion. "Tifa, are you going to be okay?"

She put her arms around his middle and looked toward the slowly brightening horizon. "I’m just going to have to accept what has been dealt to me."

What exactly that meant Vincent wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Maybe it was her belief that she wasn’t meant to be a mother or perhaps something else. Whatever it was, Vincent could clearly see the pain within her and hoped that somehow she would recover from this as she had all the other tremendous blows she had been dealt in her life.

The morning sun finally broke silhouetting the helicopter as it came into view. Vincent continued to hold Tifa tightly as they awaited their ride home. The others present all stood in silence with their thoughts. Reno was unusually quite, reliving the moment of Morris’ death. With someone dying in his presence during two of the last three missions he was seriously questioning what he could have done differently. There was also a serious lessening in his self-confidence and arrogance. He would have to give considerable thought to what he planned on doing within the organization from now on. Maybe fieldwork wasn’t his specialty anymore.

The helicopter landed and the door slid open. Angel flew out and ran straight to her husband, throwing herself into his arms in relief over his safe return. Reno’s deep mirement of thought melted away as he swept her up in his arms, his mouth eagerly meeting hers.

Vincent led Tifa to the chopper where they met Tseng. He extended a hand and helped Tifa step up. He could see the strain on her face and he led her to a seat and sat next to her, Vincent coming to rest on her other side.

Tseng took one of her hands into his own and spoke softly to her. "Tifa, what’s wrong?"

"He had started the Project as suspected." Tifa used her other hand to push a few strands of hair behind her ear. "I just didn’t think that it would be so hard…"

Seeing that she was no longer in a state to talk he turned to his brother. "What happened?"

"The growth accelerator had a fetus growing inside it." Vincent placed his arm around Tifa’s shoulders. "I was going to destroy it but I ended up not doing so. Then Jaras did."

"I see." Tseng pointed to the sword in Vincent’s free hand. "Why do you have that?"

"He said he doesn’t want it anymore." Vincent looked down at the weapon in his hand for a moment. "Truth be told I don’t think he would ever be able to use it again anyway. This might sound a little crazy but I think by the success of this mission somehow Sephiroth’s demons have been excised."

Reno and Angel boarded the helicopter and fell into a heap on the seats opposite Vincent and the others. They were far too preoccupied with one another to pay any heed to those around them. Shortly thereafter, Jaras helped Porter onboard and they also took up their seats. Jaras removed his pack and set it on the floor before him. He opened it and fished around its contents for a moment before coming up with a band to tie his hair back. Once that was done, he preformed another brief search until he came up with his glasses and book.

With everyone onboard, Brad fired the helicopter’s engines back up and lifted the machine back into the sky. Vincent gave one more glance out the window at Midgar as they flew away, somehow knowing that it would be the last time he ever saw the top of the Plate.

Tifa came to rest her head on Vincent’s shoulder. "I can’t believe it’s over."

Vincent pulled her closer and rested his cheek against her hair. "It is. Hojo’s gone, this time forever. Now we can get on with our lives."

Another wave of sadness washed over her and her voice trembled. "I hope so."

Vincent knew that over the drone of the chopper no one could her what they were saying to one another. "Tifa, I know you want a child. I also know that is something that I cannot give you. If you need to find someone else who can make your dreams come true I will completely understand."

"No, Vincent." She moved so she could look him in the eye. "If I wasn’t meant to be a mother, then so be it. I’m not going to give you up when you are the only thing in this world that does make me happy."

He smiled faintly at her words but knew that her heart still ached for a child. Vincent did have a question for her still. "Jaras… I know it really hurt you what he did back there, but he has a perspective on this whole situation that none of us could really appreciate. This isn’t really any of my business, or maybe it is, but if you could forgive him I think it would help him a lot."

Tifa tilted her head to the side. "Oh Vincent, I don’t hate him, if that’s what you’re asking. As hurt as I am, I know that what he did… I know it had to be done. It’s not like we could have taken it with us at the developmental stage it was at. It would have died either way."

"We both know that Jaras cares for you an awful lot, as much as I hate to say it, he is still in love with you." Vincent brushed her cheek with his hand. "He wouldn’t do anything that you protested unless he saw it absolutely vital."

"I know." Tifa closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder once more. "I’ll talk to him when we get home but right now all I want to do is sleep."

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