Guilt’s Cost: Part CII

Temptations

Tseng knocked on Tifa’s door. Not expecting anyone at this hour she was startled at the sound and jumped. She rose up from the couch and answered. "Hi Tseng."

"Can I come in?" He asked, already stepping passed her.

"Sure." Tifa said, relocking the door and motioning for him to sit.

Tseng landed heavily and looked over briefly to see his still unresponsive brother laid out upon the bed for the night. He turned to face Tifa after feeling her sit beside him. "I got a call from Cid."

"Oh?" She brightened at the mention of the pilot’s name. "What’s he up to?"

Tseng shrugged. "Well, he was really calling for you. He wanted to know how you were doing, and he extends his sympathy for Vincent’s continued troubles."

Tifa dropped her gaze to the floor. She didn’t want Cid to worry about her; he had enough on his plate expecting a baby. "That was very sweet of him."

Tseng glanced nervously over at Vincent. "Tifa, Cid was sounding a little stressed. I think he’s really hoping that you might come and help him out. Apparently, Shera’s having a hard time with the end of her pregnancy and he’s at a loss for what to do."

Tifa hung her head. "Oh, that’s terrible. I’d love to go see him, God knows I owe it to him, but I don’t think that I could leave Vincent right now."

Tseng shook his head slightly. "Actually, I was thinking you should go." He touched her shoulder, causing her to look into his eyes. "You’re killing yourself over Vincent, Tifa. You need a break from it before you fall ill from exertion. We can take care of him for a while. I’ll have one of the nurses stay here so he doesn’t have to go into the infirmary. Cid wouldn’t ask for help unless it was really serious; we both know that. If anything changes with Vincent, I’ll let you know right away."

Tifa’s eyes started to burn. "But Tseng…"

He put his arm around her. "Tifa, please! I know you don’t want to leave, but you need to. It’s killing me to watch you agonize like this."

She put her arms around him in return and placed her cheek against his. "Tseng… you’ve been so kind to me…"

"I know you love my brother, and he loves you." He sighed, enjoying her closeness despite his sexuality. "And I love you, too."

The way these last words came from him unexpectedly touched something within her. Again, she found herself seeing the similarity between him and Vincent. She sat back just a little and stared into his eyes. "Tseng…"

He placed a finger across her lips, not wanting her to say anything more. Tseng had never kissed a woman, and he found himself wondering what it would be like.

Tifa felt the tension mounting in the air and knew she had to stop this from happening. Tseng wasn’t Vincent, and she couldn’t allow herself to pretend he was. She knew that she had to take his order and leave before her stress made her do something she’d come to regret. It was all too obvious what was on his mind as well, and she knew she couldn’t stay any longer.

As he slowly started to lean toward her, he struggled within himself to stop knowing that it was wrong for so many reasons.

Their lips did meet, but it was brief and sweet; no more than the innocent kiss of two friends, not lovers. That was something they both knew they could never be.

They fell into each other’s embrace for a few moments before Tifa rose from the couch and made her way to Vincent’s side. As she looked down at her sleeping husband, she sighed. "I’ll go."

Tseng nodded and also got up. He went to her and placed his right hand upon her shoulder. "It’s for the best. I’ll take good care of him."

She smiled and looked back at him. "I know you will."

Tseng reciprocated her grin and let his hand fall away. "Okay, I’ll have Brad get the chopper ready. Get packed."

She stood motionless as he kissed her cheek gently before walking toward the door. Tifa watched Tseng slip out, and wondered to herself what had really transpired between them. Nothing about it made her feel guilty like her encounter with Jaras. She knew that it had been a moment brought out of stress and pain. For God’s sake, she thought, Tseng’s gay…what was I thinking?

She had merely been searching for Vincent in him, and he had been trying to find normalcy for himself. Even at his age, Tseng had yet to really ever come to grips with how he was.

On the other side of the door, hidden from Tifa’s view, Tseng stopped and brought his hands up to his face. For some reason, the pain of both Rufus and Zale’s deaths chose that minute to crush in on him. As tears started to mark his cheeks Tseng started to run for his room. Upon reaching his door, he locked himself inside and threw himself onto the bed. He needed to regain his composure before talking to the helicopter pilot. He knew Brad wouldn’t look well upon his leader crying.

***

Tifa knelt beside Vincent and placed a hand upon his cheek. "I guess you heard all that. I’m gonna go and help Cid out with Shera for a few days. I can’t imagine him trying to take care of anyone on his own! Poor Cid, he’s just so socially inept, heh. But I won’t stay gone long, okay?"

She got up and bent over to kiss him. Her lips met his, and even with Vincent apparently asleep there was something that passed between them that never could have happed with her and Tseng. Her heart belonged to Vincent and Vincent alone. She might dare to think about Tseng or Jaras, but her mind would always go back to Vincent. Tifa loved him completely.

Several minutes later, Tifa had her bag packed and she opened the door looking over her shoulder back at Vincent one last time. "I love you. If you get better I’ll come back faster, okay?" With that, she shut the door.

Tifa hurried up to the airfield, knowing that if she didn’t get on the helicopter quickly she wouldn’t be able to leave at all. The cool air of the evening gave her a hint that fall was soon to come. The sound of the helicopter warming up bit through the chilled air and met her ears rudely. She started toward the source of the sound, spotting Brad coming toward her.

The older man took her bag from her. "So, off to Rocket, huh?"

She smiled, the prospect of seeing Cid again starting to sink in. "Yes, I guess Cid needs some moral support."

"Cid’s a helluva guy." Brad smiled.

"You know him?" Tifa asked, a little surprised.

"Well of course I do." He scoffed, almost mimicking Cid with his tone. "We were in the service together until Shin Ra decided to get him involved in their space program. Those were some good times, I’ll tell you what."

It made sense that Cid and Brad were friends. There were too many similarities between them to be coincidence.

Tifa laughed to herself. "Oh."

***

Alone in the room, the first voluntary motion came to Vincent. His eyes opened and he silently whispered something no one heard. "Tifa… come back… I love you."