Guilt’s Cost: Part III

A slight jostle roused Vincent from his sleep. Disoriented, he sat up straining his eyes in the darkness. Spotting the light switch next to the bed, he flicked it on. Underneath the blankets next to him was Tifa, still sound asleep.

He smiled as he looked upon her, remembering how kind she had been the night before. Vincent allowed his human hand to touch her hair briefly before he got up to dress. As he finished buttoning his shirt, Tifa opened her eyes.

"Good morning." She said lazily to him. "What time is it? It feels like I’ve slept forever."

Vincent cocked his head and closed his eyes for a second. "It’s eleven thirty in the morning."

Tifa sat up. "How do you know?"

"The engines have stopped, and I felt the ship dock. We were due to arrive at eleven thirty, so assuming all went as planned…" He picked up his cloak from the foot of the bed and shook it out.

"That’s my Vincent", she laughed as she rose from the bed, "always observant."

He watched after her as she retreated to the cabin’s bathroom. He thought over the events of the night before, and a smile graced his lips. It had been the first time since his awakening that he had gone to bed without any thought given to Hojo or Lucrecia.

He sat back on the bed and dug through the pockets of his cloak, finding his comb. After working his hair back into order, Vincent returned to feeling the interior pockets of his cloak until he found the red strip of fabric he kept his hair tied back out of his face with. Now looking again like himself, he stood back up just as Tifa emerged dressed.

She looked over at him standing there, wearing his typical emotionless expression. An odd smile overcame her face as she continued to stare at him.

Her gaze made him shift uncomfortably where he stood. "What?"

Tifa shook her head. "Nothing. It’s just good to be with you again. I missed you an awful lot over the last seven years you know. Would it have killed you to have at least written once? Even stupid Reeve did while in hiding."

He was taken aback by her slight reprimand. "Uh, sorry."

Any vestige of her smile faded. "I was really worried about you! I even went into the remains of the damned Shinra mansion a dozen times to make sure that you hadn’t climbed back into that box."

Somewhere deep inside, he was pleased to hear this level of concern from her. "I just felt awkward writing. But if I had bothered to write anyone, it would have been you."

"But you didn’t!" She looked on the verge of tears. "With as down as you always were, I thought maybe…"

He went over and embraced her. "Tifa, I never would do that."

She allowed herself to cry. "Cloud did…"

He held her out at arm’s length and looked her in the eye. "Yes, he did, but I wouldn’t, and I didn’t. I’m here, and I have no plans of leaving now that I have you."

She looked down at the floor. "Sorry…"

A hint of a smile came to his lips. "Don’t be. It was inconsiderate of me not to check in with my friends over those seven years."

Tifa brought her gaze up to meet his. "You really considered us your friends?"

"Of course I did, Tifa. Sure, I may have had my own reasons to see the end of Hojo and his plans, but I never would have stayed with all of you if I didn’t like any of you. I may have a hard time letting others know how I feel at times, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel at all. I wasn’t fond of Yuffie or Cid, but I did enjoy everyone else’s company, especially yours."

"Oh Vincent…" She clung tightly to him. "I missed you so much. I just can’t believe this is happening now."

He closed his eyes as her hair brushed his cheek. "This does all seem strange, but I’m so happy to be with you now."

They were startled from their embrace as an announcement came over the intercom. "Attention passengers, we’ve reached Rocket Station, and at this time, we would like to thank you for flying with us. Please gather all your belongings and begin disembarking, thank you."

***

After leaving the station, they began to walk the short way to the center of town where Cid's house was. They went on, hand in hand, receiving odd looks from those in town. It wasn’t long before they could see Cid working on what appeared to be the same engine in the same place that Vincent had seen him tending to a year ago.

Too engrossed in his work, Cid didn’t notice them as they approached. Soon they were close enough to hear him cursing under his breath as he struggled with an unruly spark plug that refused to be removed.

Tifa couldn’t contain herself any longer, and in her high-excited voice made their presence known. "Hi Cid!!"

Startled, he bolted upright slamming his head into the hood of the vehicle. The cigarette caught between his lips at once dropped, falling into the engine. A small flame immediately erupted, and Cid grabbed his large glass of iced tea from the fender and doused the flame.

"What’s the fucking idea sneaking up behind me like that? You better have a damned good reason thought up by the time I turn around, or I am going to kick your God damned ass." Cid yelled as he inspected the damage done by the brief fire.

"Sorry..." Tifa said under her breath.

"Look lady," Cid started as he turned to face his visitors. Upon seeing that it was Tifa his eyes widened, and when he saw that she was grasping Vincent’s hand, they damned near fell out of his head. "What the Hell is this?!"

Tifa let go of Vincent’s hand and threw her arms around Cid. He reciprocated her embrace, staring over her shoulder at Vincent.

"It’s so good to see you!" Tifa said as she finally stepped back.

"Yeah, you too." Cid replied as he absent-mindedly retrieved another cigarette from his shirt pocket. "Where the Hell’s Cloud?"

Tifa bowed her head and stepped back to Vincent’s side. "Oh, well…"

Vincent knew she wouldn’t be able to tell Cid and so did it for her. "He took his own life a few days back."

Ever tactful, Cid waved his hand at the two. "What? Did he catch you two going at it or what?"

Vincent narrowed his eyes, and placed his arm around Tifa, who was now crying. "No, you idiot. He’d been suffering depression all these years, and he just couldn’t face living anymore."

At once, Cid felt awkward for his comment, and sorrowful at realizing Cloud was truly gone. "God, I’m sorry… Uh, so, should we go inside and have something to drink?"

Tifa smiled up at him though her tears. His initial statement had slipped right by her as she was accustomed the old pilot’s social inadequacies. "That would be great."

Cid took them into his house and led them into the kitchen where they sat around the table.

Cid leaned back in his chair and shouted in the direction of the laundry room. "Shera!!! Get your butt in here! We’ve got company for God’s sakes!"

After a few moments, a heavily pregnant Shera waddled into the room. She smiled brightly at seeing Tifa and Vincent there. Tifa at once rose from her seat and went over and hugged her. After exchanging greetings, Shera went to the cabinet and retrieved some glasses from the cupboard. She placed them on the table along with a large pitcher of lemonade. Shera then went to leave the room.

"I’ll be back in a few minutes." Shera waved as she walked out.

Tifa caught the glimmer of a ring on Shera’s left hand. Once Shera was out of earshot, Tifa sat back down and leaned toward Cid. "Wow, she actually managed to get over you and get married? I can’t believe it! When’s her baby due?"

Cid keeled over forward and allowed his head to slam into the table’s surface hard enough to rattle their drink glasses. "Oh dear Lord…"

"What?" Tifa feared the pilot was having a heart attack.

Cid straightened back up and rolled his eyes. "Hell no she didn’t get over me. She’s been pouting around this house ever since I got back. Every damn year she arranges a stupid birthday party for me. Eight months ago was the last such event. Being that it was my party and all, I did drink. Unfortunately, I drank way too much. When the party was over and everyone was gone, it was just me and her left. In my alcohol-induced stupor, she was able to convince me that she wasn’t a cow. A couple of weeks later she told me she was pregnant. That just thrilled the fucking Hell out of me. Knowing that no one else in their right mind was going to ever take her off my hands, I did the honorable thing and married her."

Even Vincent was shocked. "I can’t believe it…"

Tifa had her hands covering her mouth. "Oh my gosh! I knew you liked her all along!"

Cid crossed his arms over his chest. "You don’t know nothing. I only married her ‘cause that’s my kid rolling around in her fat stomach."

Tifa smiled. "Sure Cid, you just keep telling yourself that."

Desperate to change the subject, Cid looked over at Vincent. "So Sunshine, you really went and found her, huh?"

Irritated by Cid’s new pet name for him, Vincent frowned. "Yes I did, and that’s the reason I came back here. I wanted to thank you for helping me find her."

"Come again?" Cid smiled. "Did you just thank me?"

"Yes, I did." He pushed his cloak off his shoulders. "You didn’t have to tell me where she was, or that you thought I should go see her."

Cid raised his eyebrows. "Well, glad to help. So Tifa, what are you going to do now that Cloud is gone? I figure that there’s something going on between you and Sunshine here."

Tifa smiled weakly. "Well, I don’t really know what Vincent has in store for me yet."

Cid turned to Vincent. "Spill it."

Vincent was uncomfortable discussing this in Cid’s presence. "I plan on doing whatever Tifa wants. Wherever she wants to go or do. To be honest, I didn’t quite believe she would want to be with me, so I really hadn’t planned that far in advance."

Cid leaned back in his seat and stared at the two of them in silence for several moments. He was having a hard time thinking of Tifa and Vincent together, after watching her pine after Cloud so desperately and listening to Vincent forever mourn Lucrecia. After a while of silent contemplation he stood up. "Well, I think this reunion deserves a little celebrating. Let’s go."

Tifa and Vincent followed Cid at a short distance as he made his way out of the house and down the road. He looked back over his shoulder as they neared the entrance to the neighborhood bar. "Shera doesn’t approve of this place, but I think this is a good enough excuse to celebrate."

Cid led them to a corner booth. Tifa snuggled next to Vincent and Cid sat opposite them. It wasn’t long before the overweight barmaid came to them.

The pilot took the initiative to order for them. "Shot glasses, tequila, and nachos. Make sure there’s plenty of jalepeños this time, none of those pussy nachos!"

She snorted as she took the order and then shoved her pencil behind her left ear. "I’ve warned you about talking to the staff like that before Mr. Highwind. Mind yourself," she mumbled as she walked away.

Cid pointed at the retreating barmaid. "Mind yourself, Harriet. And loose some weight for God’s sakes. Health department’s gonna cite this dive for having livestock inside."

Tifa and Vincent tensed as the waitress turned, expecting her to toss Cid out on his ear (which she seemed perfectly capable of doing). They were shocked when a broad smile crossed her face. "Good one, Cid. Take ya’ all week ta’ think o’ that one I suppose."

Cid laughed back. "Sorry, babe. I wouldn’t spend that much time on you."

Tifa let out a nervous laugh as the barmaid finally left. "I thought you were really in trouble there for a second."

He smiled. "No, Harriet’s a good sport. Screwing with her is the only thing that makes coming here bearable."

A short silence elapsed while they waited for their order. Harriet soon brought it, setting it down on the table winking at Cid before rushing off to tend to her other customers.

Cid filled their glasses and pulled the basket of nachos in front of him. He picked up his shot glass and held it out before him. "Uh, I feel a little weird doing this but here goes."

Vincent and Tifa took up their glasses as well.

Cid cleared his throat. "To Cloud… a great man who saved the world. We’ll miss him."

After the toast was given, Tifa downed her shot in its entirety to ward off the tears that immediately stung her eyes. Cid also disposed of his in one fell swoop, but Vincent just took a sip.

"What’s wrong Sunshine? Can’t hold your alcohol as well as Tifa and I?" Cid stuffed a pile of chips into his mouth.

Vincent narrowed his eyes as he allowed a finger of his cybernetic hand to click on the glass. "Most likely I could drink you under the table. I just choose to pace myself."

"Right," Cid laughed, "I bet if you took down that shot you’d puke."

Taking Cid’s dare, Vincent picked up the glass and swallowed its contents. He set the empty glass back on the table and stared Cid down. "There."

Cid filled both their glasses again. "One each. Shall we go for two?"

Vincent again took down his drink, unflinching.

Cid did the same.

And they did it a third time.

Then a fourth.

A fifth.

Tifa sat glancing back between the two men, waiting for one to give in. A sweat had already broken out across Cid’s face, but Vincent sat seemingly unaffected.

They took a sixth shot each.

Then, as Vincent downed his seventh, Cid placed his glass back on the table still full. "Alright Sunshine, you win."

Vincent smiled faintly. The alcohol was beginning to enter his system, and he was fighting to maintain his stoic facade. He knew that he should excuse himself from the table and go to the bathroom and throw up, but he knew very well that Cid would be onto him in a second and there was no way he was going to give the pilot any such satisfaction.

Cid leaned back and placed his hands behind his head, enjoying the onset of inebriation. "So, what should we talk about?"

Tifa rested her elbows on the table, face flushed red from her one drink. "When is Shera due?"

Cid looked thoughtful for a minute. "Three weeks from today. The doctor said it’s a boy."

"You must be very excited." Tifa beamed.

With the alcohol having taken the edge off his personality, Cid spoke honestly. "Yeah, its gonna be great. Have a little ankle biter around just like me. Can’t wait until the little critter is old enough to learn to fly. Damn that will be cool."

Tifa smiled and then looked at Vincent. It was clear that the drinking was having an effect on him. A lazy smirk was on his lips, and there was the slightest hint of color in his cheeks. "You doing alright Vincent?"

He looked at her and cocked an eyebrow. "Yes, why?"

She just shrugged.

Cid leaned forward. "Vincent, how about telling us something about yourself, and I don’t mean any of that whiney Lucrecia crap. Where you from and all that?"

Vincent hadn’t been asked, nor had he discussed any such thing in as long as he could remember. He slumped in his seat. "I’m from Wutai, originally."

"No shit?" Cid looked surprised. "You’re not slanty-eyed enough to be Wutain."

Vincent made out a circle with his finger on the table’s surface. "That’s because my father was native Wutain, but my mother was originally from Kalm."

Tifa looked at him, not having known this before. "So if your father was Wutain, how did you end up with a name like Vincent Valentine?"

"Well Tifa," Vincent put his arm around her. "My parents didn’t name me that. Vincent Valentine was the name I was given when I joined the Turks. At the time, ethnic Wutains weren’t particularly well looked upon by those in Shinra or Midgar, so they gave me a more ‘acceptable’ name."

Cid took another handful of nachos. "So then, what the Hell is your real name?"

Vincent reached for the bottle of tequila and poured himself another drink, which he downed before answering. In honesty, it took him that long to remember. "Tsuvatai Vatatsi."

"Come again?" Cid looked confused.

Vincent leaned forward, saying his name again, exaggerated by his drunkenness. "Tsu-va-tai-Va-ta-ts-ee."

Tifa nuzzled into his side. "Well I think it’s lovely. What became of your parents?"

Vincent shrugged. "My mother died when I was four. My father remarried a Wutain woman two years later; shortly thereafter she became pregnant with my half brother. Both my father and stepmother were killed when I was fifteen in a fire."

"And your brother?" Tifa asked.

Vincent bowed his head. "He grew up in Wutai, while I was sent to live with an uncle in Midgar. Several years later, he came to Midgar as well, to follow in my footsteps."

"Follow in your footsteps?" Tifa was confused. "Who’s your brother, Vincent?"

"Tseng."

Cid sat upright. "Fucking for real? Tseng was your brother?"

Vincent closed his eyes for a moment. "Tseng is my brother."

"What do you mean ‘is’?" Cid inquired. "We saw that son of a bitch die!"

Tifa answered for him. "Vincent saw him a few days ago, at least, he thinks he did."

Vincent slammed his human hand onto the table’s surface, causing Tifa to jump. "I don’t think I saw him, I know I saw him. Plain as day, standing there on the street."

"Why didn’t you ever volunteer this little gem of info earlier?" Cid furrowed his brow.

Vincent relaxed a little. "No one asked, and I didn’t care."

"But he’s your brother!" Tifa examined her companion.

Vincent looked agitated. "So what! Once he saw what was done to me by Shinra and Hojo and did nothing to help, I stopped caring. Obviously he wasn’t concerned about my fate, and so why should I have given a rat’s ass about his?"

Tifa was shocked. "But when we saw him there dying in the temple, you just walked by him without even batting an eye!"

"Just like he had done when he saw Hojo kill me again and again in his experiments." Vincent hid the tears that begged release as hard as he could. "For all purpose, my brother died back then, thirty some odd years ago."

Tifa and Cid sat in stunned silence, both from Vincent’s revelation and his outburst of emotion. After a few tense moments, Vincent got up from the table and strolled quickly out of the bar.

Tifa moved to follow him, but Cid reached out and grabbed her arm. "No, let him go."

"But Cid!" Tifa cried.

Cid smiled at her. "Vincent and I may not get along, but I have a little insight into him. Bet you anything he’s out there walking down the street as fast as he can. You couldn’t catch him if you wanted to. I think this is the first time he has dealt with this, and he’s going to need a bit to put it into perspective. When he wants you to find him, you will."

Tifa sat back in her place, amazed at Cid’s words. She wouldn’t have expected such a comment from him in a million years. "You’re probably right."

"Yeah, I’ve known his type before." Cid flipped through his chips. "Loners. Hate for anyone to have an opinion on their feelings, especially when they don’t understand them themselves. Speaking of feelings, Tifa, how are you doing?"

She bowed her head. "Alright, I suppose."

Cid narrowed his eyes while listening. "Cloud hasn’t been gone for very long, and here I see you clinging to Vince like the most natural thing in the world."

"I know." The guilt she felt over betraying Cloud in this way crushed in on her. "I still love Cloud, and I guess I always will, but the truth is that the Cloud that I originally fell in love with died a long time ago."

"I figured as much by the letters you wrote." Cid pulled out his cigarettes from his coat pocket. "If you don’t mind my saying, they always seemed a little forced."

"Yes, I was still trying to convince myself that one day Cloud would come around, and that everything would be as I had hoped." Silent tears fell down her cheeks.

"But that never happened." Cid finished for her.

"No, it didn’t." She picked up a napkin from the table and wiped her eyes.

After lighting up Cid continued. "So why Vincent? I know that he has some feelings for you, so I gathered when he came by a year ago, but are you really that attached to him already?"

Tifa appeared uncomfortable. "I am not in love with him if that’s what you’re asking. I’m not even close to ready to feel that way for anyone right now."

Cid leaned closer to her. "I feel real weird talking about this stuff, but if you’re not in love with him, then what?"

Tifa shrugged. "I like Vincent very much, I always have. He has been comforting me since Cloud took his life. But truth be told, I was going to leave town with Vincent even before Cloud was dead."

"Really?" Cid seemed genuinely intrigued.

"Yes." Tifa began tearing small strips from the napkin. "Vincent made it safe for me to admit that I wasn’t happy living with Cloud in his never ending depression. He knew what it felt like to love someone so intensely without them reciprocating your feelings. That’s why I am with him. In a strange way, he and I are a lot alike, and I am very comfortable being around someone who understands me on that level."

"I see." Cid took another drag. "So then, has Vince let you know exactly how he feels for you?"

She smiled. "He said he loves me."

Cid’s eyes went wide. "Our Vincent said that?"

"Yes," she looked up at Cid, seeing his disbelief, "he most certainly did."

"I’ll be damned." He laughed. "I didn’t know the old boy had it in him. I figured he might have just been looking to fulfill some fantasy about riding you."

Tifa threw the remains of her napkin at him, feigning disgust. "You’re awful, you know that? You really are."

Cid moved to get up. "Come on, let’s go back. I bet Vinny shows up sooner or later."

***

Vincent made his way through the streets as fast as his long strides would carry him. The town was winding down for the day, and he passed few others as he went on. The entire place had a feeling of calmness to it, not the same desperate rush as the big city. Vincent didn’t like it, as it was easier to simply disappear when a place was too busy to notice you. The small homes lining the streets seemed to look down on him as he passed, curious as to whom this outsider really was. This wasn’t something that Vincent was going to give them the satisfaction of knowing however. He passed each structure indifferently, rarely bothering to look up from the ground in front of him.

Soon he came to the edge of town, and found a small bridge where the road he was on made its way over an almost dry creek. Once he reached the center of the bridge he stopped, leaning over its edge as he attempted to catch his breath. Normally such a walk wouldn’t have winded him, but having drank as much as he had on an empty stomach, he was feeling down right sick. As he leaned there a wave of nausea came over him and he spat down into the water as he tried to suppress the urge to vomit.

A slight sound behind Vincent at once drew his attention. Acting on instinct, his human hand retrieved his gun from his side and aimed it instantly as he turned. He found himself staring at the stranger’s head, where his bullet would strike if he fired. Being intoxicated, it took a few seconds for him to recognize the intruder.

"Is that anyway to greet me?" Tseng asked, unflinching before Vincent’s gun.

Vincent examined him in detail. Tseng’s face was beginning to show his age, and his long hair now streamed back from his temples in silver streaks. Age had also taken its toll on him, as his body was beginning to take on the contours of an old man. "Why are you following me, Brother?"

Tseng took a step forward. "I have come to help you."

"Stay where you are." Vincent made no move to lower his weapon. "Why would you want to help me?"

"Because you are my brother." Tseng’s voice was monotone.

Vincent frowned. "My brother? Then why didn’t you help me when Hojo did this?" Vincent raised his cybernetic arm from his side.

Tseng downcast his eyes. "I was blinded by greed and power. Back then, and even seven years ago, Shinra could do no wrong in my eyes, even if it meant watching your torture and if needed, your death."

Vincent’s gun wavered as he momentarily considered lowering it, but he didn’t. "So what has changed now?"

"Several things." Tseng met Vincent’s gaze. "Number one was watching Shinra destroy the planet. At first, I could have cared less, but it eventually began to get to me. Another was seeing that they saw that poor girl Aeris as nothing but a scientific asset. As we hunted her down, I began to understand how very special she was. She was the last of her kind! She was a treasure that this world desperately needed. She was capable of teaching us all things that we had forgotten long ago. She was wasted for nothing."

"So I’m to believe that the Last Ancient was able to touch something in your heart that your own brother couldn’t?" Vincent’s finger ached to pull the trigger.

"There’s more to it then that." Tseng looked up at the sky. "Yes, I saw what Hojo was starting to do to you, but one day you just seemed to disappear from the lab. I didn’t question the professor about it; no one ever dared question him about his work. All I could do was assume you died. I didn’t even realize who you were until sometime after you had joined the Avalanche group. Once I did know who you were, I was both relieved to see you alive, and horrified to think of what Hojo had done."

"That’s all very touching." Vincent reached back with his metallic hand for the bridge railing to steady himself. "Who scripted that out for you? I hope they were paid well."

Tseng furrowed his brow. "Aren’t you going to ask how your dead brother is here talking to you?"

Vincent lowered his gun slightly. His rage against Tseng had blinded him from the obvious. "How are you here? I saw you die in the temple."

He nodded. "Yes, you did. And as to what exactly happened, I’m not sure. I had a dream I was being carried by Sephiroth, and when I woke up, I found myself in a home not far from where I had supposedly been killed. My wounds were healed, and the woman at the house said she had found me out in a field a few days before and that I had been sleeping ever since."

Vincent shook his head and smiled. "I’m supposed to believe that?"

Tseng took another step closer. "I didn’t intend for that to convince you, but I think what I am about to say will. While having that dream about Sephiroth carrying me, I came to understand something."

Vincent’s eyes narrowed. "What’s that?"

Tseng’s face lost all expression. "As I was in his arms staring up at him, I saw something I had never bothered to notice before. Vincent, you have a birthmark on your neck below your right ear, correct?"

Vincent nodded.

"As did Sephiroth." Tseng smiled. "I couldn’t believe that it hadn’t struck me in one way or another. The hair was a different color, as were the eyes, but you and Sephiroth are very much the same. Hojo wasn’t his father, you were."

Vincent dropped his gun, something he had never done before. "You can’t know that… There’s no way you could know that…"

Tseng continued. "It was then that I realized that hadn’t been a dream. He had come and taken me from there, healing me and seeing to it that I was left somewhere I would be found. I remember how the Professor used to say that the Jenova cells in Sephiroth would make him very protective over other creatures with those cells, but there was a side effect to that. Not only was he destined to try to save Jenova, but also anyone genetically close to him. He probably never even knew why he was compelled to rescue me, he just felt he should. Think about it, did he ever directly attack you in a life threatening manner?"

Vincent thought back on all the battles. No matter when they were fighting, Sephiroth never seemed to have attacked him nearly as severely as the others. In his heart, Vincent knew the truth. "Dear God…"

"Tsuvatai, I know I failed you as a brother, but please understand that I am here now as a friend. After Shinra showed me that my life would be cast aside without any remorse, I forever vowed never to return to them. Fortunately since I was believed dead, I wasn’t part of their hunt for ex-Turks."

Vincent collapsed to his knees upon hearing his real name. This was his brother, and Tseng had changed. "I… I believe you…"