Guilt’s Cost: Part LXXIX

Preparation

Tifa had spent an unknown number of hours lying on her bed. She knew that Cloud’s eyes hadn’t left her, even when she had managed to drift off to sleep for a while. There was a desperate need for her to go to the bathroom, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it again under his continued unwavering stare. Hojo had come and gone several times to get blood samples from her and give her additional injections but she had given him very little reaction. When her meals had been presented, she had eaten slowly, having to overcome her inappettitince with each forced swallow. Occasionally she would hear a far off cry, and although it was muted through various walls and doors, she knew it was Vincent.

Hojo returned again with a syringe and some vials. "I need more blood, Mrs. Valentine."

The scientist had taken to calling her this now, and it only hurt her more. She rolled onto her back and outstretched her arm. There would be no point in resisting, as Hojo would just take it out on Vincent.

"Good girl." Hojo purred as he snapped a tourniquet around her upper arm. He expertly drove the needle into her vein and filled his large syringe. He reached up and flicked off the tourniquet before placing a piece of cotton over the needle’s insertion site. He slid out the needle and taped down the cotton. "There we are."

Tifa looked up, watching him fill several vials with the blood. She neither cared what he was doing nor why, but she did need to ask him something. "Can I have some time alone?"

Hojo cocked an eyebrow as he dropped his filled vials into his pocket. "What ever for?"

She simply pointed to the toilet.

"And that is something you can’t do in front of your former husband?" Hojo mused.

She turned her gaze up to the ceiling, not wanting to look at him. "I can’t, all right? Either you give me five minutes of privacy or I wet the bed. I don’t think any of us want that."

Her point had been made and Hojo turned to Cloud. "So be it. I’m sure Mr. Strife’s body could use the time to take care of some things as well. Come Mr. Strife."

Cloud rose from his seat and followed the scientist from the room. Once the door was locked behind them, Tifa shot up from the bed and ran over to the toilet. She hadn’t been planning anything; she just genuinely had to go.

As per her request, Cloud returned five minutes later and immediately sat back down in the chair he had been in.

Tifa sat back on her bed and faced him. Whether his body was alive or not, as she gazed into his blue eyes it was clear that there was no soul behind them. Even in this animated death Cloud was still beautiful, and she remembered exactly how much she had loved him. Tifa felt tears burn her eyes and guilt tear at her heart. "Oh Cloud…"

He remained still, waiting for her to complete the request. His computer driven mind was unable to sympathize with her.

"I know that you aren’t really you anymore, but there are some things that I at least owe you an explanation for." She sighed, hanging her head.

Cloud did not respond. There was no programmed response to her words. He just stared back at her in silence.

"This never would have happened if I hadn’t run off with Vincent, and I’m sorry." She turned her eyes back up to him. "But I gave you so many years of my life, hoping that someday you would start to love me as I did you. Maybe it was stupid of me to spend so much time trying, but what else could I do? When Vincent came to see us, something inside me just couldn’t help but grab onto the chance to escape. I had already decided to go with him before I knew that you were going to kill yourself. Once I saw you lying there dead, I ran away. What else could I have done? How could I know that Hojo would find out about your death and claim your body? I’m sorry it worked out that way, and because of it, now Vincent’s in there suffering God knows what."

Again, there was no reply from Cloud.

Tifa wrung her hands together, as her emotions ripped her heart. "You wouldn’t believe Vincent… He’s been such a different man since coming to New Nibelheim to get me. You’d laugh; he’s even made up with Cid after all these years! He’s been good to me, and he’s let me know that my feelings whatever they may be are valid. Maybe that’s why I’ve fallen in love with him, because that was the one thing you could never do. Vincent understands me on a level I never thought anyone would, certainly not you."

Cloud blinked a few times as she looked back at him speaking. His computer mind was only giving thought to keeping his heart beating and breathing.

"But I am sorry for how things worked out. I only wish I could tell you that, instead of what ever you are now." Tifa wiped a tear away from her cheek.

Hojo threw open the door to the room with a wide smile. "Mrs. Valentine, you are ready ahead of schedule!"

She stared at him in confusion. "What?"

"You are ready to give up your eggs." Hojo took a few steps forward. "It is time for the Jenova Retrial to begin!"

His eagerness made her blood run cold. Of all people to have a child with, Hojo was the last person on her list. But this wouldn’t really be her child; rather it would be one of the lab. It would grow up just as Sephiroth did without any love and thus the end result would be the same. "Leave me alone!"

Hojo furrowed his brow. "Now now, Mrs. Valentine, don’t do that. You know what happens to Mr. Valentine when you act up. Very inconsiderate of you, especially when you consider the sacrifices he has agreed to make for your survival."

"What did you do to him?" Tifa’s eyes went wide in fear.

"Not much that can’t be undone as of yet." Hojo smiled. "However, he has agreed to exchange his right arm for your life. That is very touching, is it not?"

Tifa felt weak, knowing how terrified Vincent was of being worked on and how mortified he had become before at the thought of losing his arm. "Please don’t do this!"

"Sorry, but I am a man of my word; at least where Mr. Valentine is concerned. I owe him at least that much. As long as he continues to cooperate, you will be set free after I have what I need from you." Hojo extended a hand toward her with three small white pills in his palm. "Take these so that you will be relaxed before the procedure. If you attempt something stupid like knocking my hand away, Mr. Valentine will pay."

Tifa slowly took the tablets from his gnarled hand and put them into her mouth. Without anything to drink, she swallowed them, feeling as though she would gag.

Hojo nodded in approval. "Good, Mrs. Valentine. I will return in a while to take you to surgery. In the mean while, I have some business with your new husband."