Guilt’s Cost: Part VII

By Kristen Gupton-Williams

Vincent found Tifa sitting with Shera on the couch. Some over rated talk show was flashing by on the television silently, as they had muted it during their conversation. The two women were so engrossed in "baby talk" that it took them several minutes for them to notice that Vincent was standing before them.

Tifa looked up at him and smiled. "So, what’s up?"

"You and I need to go with Tseng." He knelt down to her level. "He can see to our safety until his men find a way to remove the implant in you."

She nodded shallowly. "I see. If that is what you think is best, then that is what we’ll do."

He reached out and took her hand in his. "I really do. I trust him, and I want to do what is going to keep you the safest."

"All right then." She rose from the couch. "I’ll go get our things."

Shera pushed herself up as well. "Let me get you some things for your trip."

He returned to the kitchen, walking in on an uncomfortable silence that had fallen over Tseng and Cid. The two men were staring each other down and Vincent neither knew why nor cared to find out.

Cid was the first to speak. "So, you and Tifa going?"

"Yes." He replied. "Tifa is getting ready right now."

Tseng stood. "You have made the right decision, brother. Step out front when you’re ready. I will go see that the car is ready."

After he walked out, Cid turned to Vincent. "You’re sure about him, right?"

Vincent nodded.

"That son of a bitch pulled a lot of weird stuff on us in the past. I hope you’re not forgetting that." Cid pulled a cigarette from his pocket and prepared to light up.

Vincent was well aware of his friend’s suspicion and knew it was reasonable. The last time they had dealt with Tseng he was on the opposite team and Vincent’s rush to trust him did seem a little hasty, even to himself. But the things that his brother had told him the night before made distrusting him impossible in Vincent’s eyes.

Tseng too was aware of the dangers of lying to Vincent. If he did anything to make his brother doubt him he had already signed his death warrant. Vincent was not the type of man to mess with in the ways of trust. He had been hurt in that way before and like any injured beast, he would be quick to lash out at anyone who threatened to wound him again. Tseng would be very careful to not give any reason for Vincent to kill him, because that is exactly what he would do. Even if something accidentally should befall Tifa, Tseng knew he would bear all the blame in his brother’s eyes. Until Tifa and Vincent were safely inside the hideout, there would be no rest for Tseng.

Soon, Tifa rejoined Vincent in the kitchen and they stepped out of the house, closely tailed by Cid and Shera. Tseng was standing before them with the door to his limo opened. Tifa clapped her hands together and jumped up in excitement.

Vincent’s reaction wasn’t quite as demonstrative. "Tseng, I thought we were going for subtlety here."

Tseng smiled. "Don’t worry. This is just to get us to the airport, where they already know were going."

Vincent accepted this answer, still feeling a little awkward riding in such a vehicle. He turned back to Cid and Shera. "Thank you for putting us up for the night."

"Think nothing of it." Shera smiled. "Let us know you’re okay later."

Tifa walked over and gave her a hug. "We will. Bye Shera."

Vincent extended his hand to Cid. "Again, thank you."

Cid shook Vincent’s hand, his dislike for this man now almost completely gone. "No problem. Take care of our little Tifa, okay?"

"Yes, Sir." Vincent answered.

He and Tifa turned and got into the car, followed by Tseng who closed the door behind them. They got situated and the driver started the car down the road.

Tseng flipped a switch next to the small television in the car, and a low hum was heard. "You may talk freely until we get the airport. This car is equipped with a scrambler."

Vincent looked at his brother. "So what is the secret you’re not telling me?"

Tseng shook his head. "I can’t tell you that until we get to our destination. It is something that would be better for you to see for yourself."

Tifa shot her gaze from one man to the other. "What secret?"

Tseng smiled. "There is something waiting for Vincent back at the base; something that will change some things. Until we get home, we will not mention it again, scrambler or not."

"Since you seem to be up on the events in our lives so well, why don’t you fill us in on a little of what you’ve been doing?" Vincent asked.

Tseng sat back and thought. "What can I tell you? I have been involved in several projects aimed at disrupting Shin Ra operations from the inside. Ruining their experiments, kidnapping their researchers, hiding traitors to their company. A lot of relocation protection type jobs. Nothing to great."

Tifa leaned forward. "From all the complaints about ASRIO on the news from Shin Ra, I’d say you’re doing a decent job."

"Thanks, but as long as they still own everything and control the lives of the people, we have not succeeded." Tseng sighed. "They are still up to the idiotic crap they started with the Jenova Project."

Vincent was intrigued. "The Jenova Project? How can that still be going on? Jenova, Sephiroth, and Hojo are dead. Not to mention all the research going up in flames when the Shin Ra building in Midgar was destroyed."

Tseng grew immediately uncomfortable, knowing that he had lead them right to the conversation he wished to avoid. "We should discuss this when we get…"

Vincent cut him off in anger. "You said we could talk freely, so spill it. The Jenova Project for better or worse was something that I became a part of. Not only through Sephiroth and Lucretia, but through the experiments that Hojo carried out on me personally!"

Tseng recoiled from his brother’s anger. "Please Vincent, calm down! It will be easier for you if you wait…"

Vincent moved from his seat by Tifa over to his brother. "You listen to me! If there is any vestige of the Jenova Project still going on I need to know! I can never be happy until I know that whole mess along with all the people involved are destroyed!"

Tseng furrowed his brow. "Then you will not rest until you are dead as well. Yes, the project is still ongoing, but inadvertently thanks to you, it has been set back almost twenty years, so take some peace in that. I appreciate your enthusiasm in seeking to the Project’s disposal, but this is something that will require a little education on your part."

Vincent retreated back to his seat, feeling as though he had just been struck in the stomach. His mind reeled as he came to a realization. "You didn’t come get me merely out of concern for my well being, did you?"

Tseng flushed in guilt. "No, you know me to well for that."

Vincent placed his head in his hands. "This was all to get me to get involved with ASRIO?"

"No." Tseng said flatly. "I do sincerely wish to get that bug out of Tifa and thwart Shin Ra’s plan to kill you. But I do have an ulterior motive in getting you to trust me. There are some things that we have discovered that you have a right to know. And before we proceed with our next step, we wanted your involvement as your passion for these things would be unparalleled. So again I will ask, let us wait until we are home to discuss things further. If you choose to leave our protection after hearing us out, then that will be your choice, but I don’t think you will once you see things for yourself."

Vincent was silent for a moment. Tifa could sense his unrest, and placed her arms around him. She felt him trembling in her embrace. "Vincent?"

He buried his face in her hair and whispered, "Tifa…ask him if Hojo is still alive."

Tifa faced Tseng. "Is Hojo still involved? Didn’t we kill him?"

Tseng shook his head. "He is still alive. As infused with Jenova as he had made himself, he is virtually indestructible."

Vincent lost his composure and clung to Tifa. This news alone had torn out his heart. The only comfort he had found over the last several years was the knowledge that Hojo was dead, and now that was gone. What other horrors awaited his discovery back at Tseng’s base he could only imagine. Tseng knew that he could rely on his brother as long as the insane scientist was living, and Vincent felt used.

The rest of the drive was made in silence with Tifa holding Vincent, and Tseng typing casually on his laptop computer. Vincent’s mind raced through all his previous encounters with Hojo, searching for any weakness that he could exploit, but he could think of none. He longed to crush the scientist’s throat in the metal claw he had given him.

When the car finally stopped, they emerged from the dark interior of the car into the afternoon sun. It didn’t take long for Vincent to realize they were not at the airport. The smell of salt water hung heavily in the air. "Why are we at the docks?"

Tseng smiled to himself. "Shin Ra expected us at the airport, therefore we went elsewhere."

Vincent looked over at Tifa. "I never even looked out the window to figure out where we were going. I’m really getting careless."

Tseng started walking, indicating that they should follow him. "You aren’t getting careless, you were just preoccupied. Nothing to be ashamed of. Our ride awaits."

At the end of the pier, the turret to a submarine protruded through the water’s surface. Vincent, not fond of sea voyages in normal ships was not thrilled to realize he was destined to be on a sub. "You’re kidding, right? We aren’t going on that, are we?"

Tseng turned to his brother. "We most certainly are. Once onboard, we will go deep enough for Shin Ra to lose contact with Tifa. They will have no way of knowing where we are going. If they were to find where I had my men holed up, it would be very unfortunate."

Tifa, ever excited to do anything, half pulled her companion onto the small submersible. Tseng led them down a short passage to a tiny cabin.

"This will be your quarters. I apologize for the lack of luxury, but we are not in the business of hospitality." Tseng opened the door to their room.

Vincent rolled his eyes at his brother’s attempt at humor. "What ever do you mean, Tseng? It is really quite lovely!"

Tifa giggled as she hit Vincent in the arm. "Sarcasm? From Vincent?"

"Who ever would have thought?" Tseng added. "Once he was the straightest laced person I knew, now look at you."

"What can I say?" Vincent shrugged as he passed everyone to enter the room. "You two just bring out the best in me. Tifa, let’s leave my brother to his work."

Tifa smiled shyly at Tseng as she passed into the room with Vincent, closing the door behind her. She sat on the edge of the bed, giving it a short test.

Vincent explored the small room, assuring himself that it was secure. He reached down to his hip as he turned to Tifa, all color draining from his face. "Oh…"

Tifa stood up, concerned. "What is it?"

"My gun… I never went back for my gun!" Vincent smacked himself in the forehead. "I have been running around unarmed all day! God damn it, I am really losing it…"

Tifa embraced him. "It’s fine, nothing happened."

"But what if it had? I have compromised your safety." Vincent silently admonished himself. "If anything happened to you… I wouldn’t be able to live with myself."

Tifa pushed herself away from him. "Don’t worry about me! I can take care of myself. This constant guilt trip you’re putting yourself through on my behalf isn’t necessary. If you are somehow putting your self-declared failure in protecting Lucretia onto me then just knock it the Hell off. She didn’t value you or herself enough to see to her own safety. I don’t have that problem."

Vincent stepped back, struck by her exact assessment of the situation. He attempted to feign anger at her portrayal of Lucretia, but it crumbed as quickly as it came for her words were true. "Tifa… I know you’re not helpless."

"Then would it kill you to act like it every once in a while? You may recall, but I held my own seven years ago both before and after you joined us." Tears welled up in her eyes. "I am not Lucretia, and I never will be. If you are somehow trying to replace her with me then blow off. It’s already bad enough knowing that I will never have all of your heart as long as half of it still belongs to her."

Vincent moved over to the bed and sat. He hung his head and sighed. Tifa’s words had stung him deeply, and what was worse is that he knew she meant them. "Thinking about her is not what drove me to come back to you."

She turned her back to him. "Then what did?"

"The fact that I had fallen in love with you. The fact that I knew you were one of the few people who not only cared enough to try to figure out who I am, but also that I knew you were someone who could understand me. That you had loved someone who didn’t return it, and knew how that could damage someone inside forever. Do you not still love Cloud just as I do Lucretia?" He narrowed his eyes.

She turned back to face him, now on the defensive. "I do still love Cloud, but I am not trying to put you in his place."

"Nor am I trying to do that with you." He rose from the bed. "Please forgive my missteps. I am bound to make a lot of them; I am not overly experienced in this kind of thing. But I do love you. If that isn’t enough, then I am a failure."

She took him in her arms, knowing that she had completely disassembled him inside. Unintentionally, there was a part of her trying to push him away; the part of her that still loved Cloud, the same part that had refused to see her misery with him over the last seven years. It cut her to see what she had just done to Vincent. "Oh God, I’m sorry… I don’t know what I’m doing."

He stroked her hair. "It’s all right. We both have been through so much, it will take awhile for us to figure this all out I suppose."

She smiled up at him, and he kissed her. His hands slid under her clothing, and she pushed his cloak from his shoulders. Embarrassed to realize he was becoming aroused, he stepped back leaving Tifa with her hands outstretched toward him.

"Sorry…" he panted, trying to get himself back under control.

"Vincent, it’s okay." She stepped back to him.

He placed his hands on her shoulders. "No, I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for, and I don’t want to risk losing control and hurting you."

She reached out and started to unbutton his shirt. "You won’t hurt me, I trust you. Besides, I’ve already seen everything, and after the night on the airship, I don’t think you’ve got anything I couldn’t handle. You’ll just need to be slow and careful."

He about fell over to hear her say that. "But I would hurt you if I…"

She sat on the bed indicating that he should, too. "Vincent, do I have to explain to you that I felt you the other night, and know what is there? You aren’t as bad as you think. As long as we go easy, there won’t be a problem. I’m a big girl, and I know what I’m doing."

His mind flashed back to his assault on Yuffie, and how her mouth bled when he pushed her away. He had hurt her terribly, but he had been rough, and she had been struggling against him. He shook those thoughts off, pained by their memory. He sat heavily next to Tifa. "If you are sure. I will leave it up to you."

She pushed him backwards and continued to unbutton his shirt. Once he was freed of his clothing, she rose and pulled off hers. Vincent lay on the bed admiring her as she stripped, realizing how beautiful and strong she was. Once undressed, she flipped off the light switch and made her way back to the bed. She lay down beside him and kissed him again.

Vincent propped himself up with his cybernetic arm allowing his human hand to run over her body. His mind was filled with excitement and disbelief at what was happening. Never did he think this would be happening to him.

Tifa sighed deeply beside him, letting Vincent know that she was ready. She was doing her best to not let on about how nervous she was. Truth was, she hadn’t made love in well over two years since she had lost the baby. Even before that, it had been infrequent that she and Cloud had been together as his depression kept him from having any interest in physical relations with his wife.

Vincent gently pulled himself atop her. He could feel how tense she was beneath him, and he whispered into her ear, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

She just managed a quiet, "Uh-huh."

Carefully, he proceeded to enter her. It hurt just a little more than she had expected, but she was determined not to make him stop. She slowly rocked beneath him, growing accustomed to Vincent’s unusual anatomy. Tifa was surprised to discover that Vincent was an excellent lover, and it wasn’t long before he was able to bring her to climax. As she did, she managed to whisper into his ear, "Vincent, I love you."

This was more than he could take, and he too was brought over the edge. He collapsed into a panting heap beside Tifa, smiling at her through his exhaustion. He gave her a small kiss. "Are you all right?"

She rolled onto her side so she could face him. "I’m fine. That was wonderful."

His tired face blushed. "Thanks, it was only my third time."

Tifa was shocked. "Really? But you’re very good."

He didn’t know what to say. "Well, you’re not so bad yourself."

"Oh please!" She touched the tip of his nose with her index finger. "I’m a woman, my part’s not terribly difficult."

Vincent allowed himself to laugh, "Don’t sell yourself short."

A short silence followed with the two of them just staring at one another in the dim light of the room. Vincent finally spoke up. "Want to go check out the rest of the ship?"

Tifa got up from the bed. "Yeah, let me just go get ready."

She picked up her clothes from the floor and locked herself into the room’s small bathroom. Vincent got up as well and made his way to the light switch. After letting his eyes readjust to the brightness, he examined his surroundings. A streak of crimson caught his attention and he looked over to the bed. There, where Tifa had been was what looked to Vincent like a fair amount of blood. At once he filled with panic, knowing that he had hurt her. He quickly went to the door to the bathroom and knocked.

"What?" Tifa replied in a shaky voice.

"Tifa, are you all right?" Vincent tried to hide is fear.

She cracked the door open just a small way so she could look at him. "Yeah, I’m fine."

But Vincent could tell that she was not. Her face was ashen and on the floor behind her he saw a blood soaked towel. Vincent reached out and pushed the door open, Tifa offering no resistance. "Oh my God, what did I do?"

Tifa took a step back. "I’m okay Vincent, really. There’s just a small cut, but the bleeding is stopping."

Vincent grabbed her shoulders and locked gazes with her. "Are you sure? I can go get someone if not."

A little embarrassed at the thought of someone knowing what the problem was arose. "No, I really am fine. I just freaked out a little until I realized what the extent of the problem was. I’m going to take a quick shower, and then I’ll be fine."

Vincent felt ashamed for having brought this upon her, but her well being was foremost on his mind. "If you’re still bleeding after your shower, I’m getting help."

"Fair enough." Tifa smiled to him as she turned to start the water. "Vincent?"

"Yeah?" His voice still trembled.

"Don’t you dare beat yourself up over this. It really is nothing." She smiled back at him as she stepped into the shower. "And it was worth it."

Her words did little to quell the knot in his stomach. He decided to change the subject to ease his mind. "What do you suppose this grand secret of Tseng’s is?" He listened to her reply as he stepped out of the bathroom to retrieve his clothes from the floor.

"I really have no idea." She called out to him. "I thought finding out that Hojo is still around was quite a whopper."

Vincent frowned as he shook out his shirt. "I know. I can’t believe it myself."

After a few moments the water stopped and Tifa emerged from the bathroom. "But you know, this might be good in a way."

"Hojo being alive?" Vincent cocked an eyebrow.

Tifa pulled on her blouse. "Sure. Maybe you’ll be able to get some answers to the questions you undoubtedly have."

Vincent examined Tifa, seeing that she looked much more composed. "You’re okay, right?"

She smiled. "Yes, it stopped. It’s just a small cut, nothing to worry about. If there is a problem, I’ll let you know."