Guilt’s Cost: Part XXIII

Surgery

Tifa sat with a clear expression of nervousness on the hospital bed. Vincent stood beside her, holding her hand. Dr. Arlin had taken a blood sample to see if Tifa was going to be able to withstand the surgery today. The doctor was a little reluctant to do the surgery only two days after Tifa had given blood, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Dr. Arlin returned with a smile on her face. "Good news, Tifa. Your blood tests came back fine. The nurse is going to come in and get your I.V. started, okay?"

Tifa nodded shallowly, the fear of the procedure setting in. "Okay."

The doctor left, and Tifa and Vincent found themselves alone for a minute.

Vincent was pained to see the fear in her. "Are you doing all right?"

"Yeah, I think so. Just nervous, that’s all." She replied. "You’ll be there when I’m done, right?"

Vincent smiled at her. "Wouldn’t miss it for the world."

A nurse came in and brought over a tray to get Tifa’s I.V. in. Vincent grew tense as the nurse prepared to place it in Tifa’s arm. Tifa felt his sudden tension. "Vincent, relax. No one is going to do anything to you."

He looked away, having to fight the urge to push the nurse away from her. "I can’t watch, sorry."

Tifa was amused by Vincent’s inability to stomach the nurse’s actions. The nurse already had the I.V. in her arm and was taping it in. "It’s over, Vincent."

He finally faced her again. "You were so brave, you’re going to get a treat after this."

Tifa laughed at his comment. She was fairly sure that it had hurt him a lot more than her.

The nurse picked up a syringe and placed its needle into the end of Tifa’s I.V. catheter. "All right, Ms. Lockhart, this is going to help you relax so it’ll be easier to anesthetize you."

Tifa placed her head back on the pillow and felt the drug enter her system, slowly making her tired. She looked over at Vincent, feeling as though she would fall asleep at any minute. "Hey, Vincent?"

He leaned closer, knowing that she was having a hard time talking now. "Yes?"

She smiled lazily. "I love ya."

He kissed her forehead and then stepped back. "I love you, too."

Tifa closed her eyes with the smile still on her face. The nurse hit a call button, and two other nurses appeared. The three of them then wheeled Tifa out of the room.

Vincent stood alone for a minute, staring at the door Tifa had just been taken through. He couldn’t believe how well Tifa had managed herself before going under the knife. A sound from behind him drew his attention.

Tseng stood there, dressed in a suit after deciding that he’d had enough of the infirmary. "Tifa’s underway, huh?"

Vincent cocked an eyebrow. "Did the doctor say that you could get out of bed?"

Tseng looked instantly guilty. "By the time she would have let me get up, I wouldn’t remember how to walk. Besides, I have several things to attend to before being kicked out on the vacation she has ordered me on."

Vincent crossed his arms. "So, the doctor ordered a little R and R for you?"

He nodded. "Yes, two weeks worth."

"So, when are you leaving, and where are you going?" Vincent asked.

Tseng thought for a moment. He knew that Vincent hadn’t visited any of their relatives in Wutai since before becoming a Turk. Tseng decided that he would take Tifa and Vincent with him, letting the destination be a surprise for them. "I will be leaving in a few days. If Tifa feels up to it, I want you two to come along with me. I think you might enjoy the trip."

Vincent noticed Tseng’s attempt to dodge the issue of his destination. "Sure, we could go with you, but where are we going?"

Tseng smiled and shook his head. "It will have to be a surprise."

Vincent took several steps closer to his brother. Tseng noticed that his expression turned very serious.

Vincent dropped his gaze to the floor. "Tseng, do you know who Angel’s mother was?"

Tseng raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Is that what you almost lost your life looking for on the computer in the lab?"

"Yes." Vincent replied. "But do you know who it was?"

Tseng crossed his arms. "Why don’t you tell me who you think it is first."

Caught a little off guard by his brother’s retort, Vincent took a step back. "I didn’t get far enough to find out specifically, but I have an idea."

"Who do you suspect?" Tseng knew he was frustrating his brother.

"All the document said was that it was an Ancient." Vincent hung his head. "I just don’t know which Ancient it was, Aeris or her mother."

Tseng nodded. "Why do you care to know?"

Vincent didn’t answer right away. "If it was Aeris, then I could tell Angel about her mother. I didn’t know her that well, but at least then Angel would be aware of who both her parents were."

"I do know which it was, but I’m not sure you are ready." Tseng looked away from his brother.

Vincent leaned closer. "What do you mean?"

Tseng shrugged. "If it was Aeris, would you tell Tifa?"

Vincent was confused. "Yes."

"Although Angel wasn’t conceived through a relationship between you and Aeris, don’t you think that on some level it would bother Tifa?" Tseng sighed. "After all, Aeris was the one who Cloud fell out of love with Tifa for. And what if she developed some personal grudge against Angel for being Aeris’s daughter?"

"Tifa is mature enough not to let that bother her, but from as much thought as you have put into this, I am going to have to assume that it was Aeris." Vincent’s expression turned to sadness.

Tseng nodded shallowly. "It was."

He closed his eyes, trying to remember Aeris’s face, but found it difficult. His heart had learned to fog over the memories of those who were gone, trying to save him from the pain of their loss. He had felt very little at the time of the girl’s death. He hadn’t been with the AVALANCHE group long at that point, and he had spent most of that time lost in his own misery over Lucretia and Sephiroth. Of the little that he could remember, he thought Aeris had been his polar opposite; always happy, optimistic, and forgiving. She never acknowledged her own pain, rather preferring to spend her time comforting others. Everything that Vincent wasn’t, she was. He remembered a time shortly after he had been awoken out of stasis. He had left the group one evening to go get drunk, wishing to escape his misery for one night. As he sat drinking, Aeris came into the bar, having spent the better part of an hour searching for him. She sat beside him and put her arm around his shoulders, wishing to comfort him from whatever devil was gnawing at his soul.

"Hey Vincent, want some company?" She had asked in her lilting voice.

He had scowled over at her, pushing her arm off him with his claw. "Had I wanted company, I would not have left the team, would I?"

Unfazed by his cold tone, she folded her hands on the bar before her. "What ya drinking?"

He barely responded, merely clicking one of his claws upon the surface of the vodka bottle before him.

"Oh, is it any good?" She asked, leaning closer.

He glanced at her sideways, annoyed by her continued presence. With his cybernetic arm he pushed the bottle toward her. "Is this what you want?"

She picked up the bottle, looking a little awkward doing so. "You don’t have a cold or anything, do you?"

Vincent puffed. "No, I do not get colds."

"Good, I would hate to get sick, although I guess it is alcohol and would be self sterilizing even if you were-" Her smiled flickered a bit as Vincent cut her off.

"Shut up and drink it, or just go away; the choice is yours." He flicked a stray peanut across the counter, wishing she would choose the latter.

Aeris sighed at her inability to break through his shell. Resolving that her previous approach wouldn’t work, she brought the bottle to her lips and took a swig.

Although he didn’t display it, he was amused to see her struggle to swallow the fiery drink.

She set the bottle back down and pushed it back in front of Vincent. "Gosh, that stuff is awful, if you drink to much it will kill you."

Vincent flatly replied. "If only I could be so lucky."

Aeris was deeply pained by his attitude. Not because his rude persona hurt her feelings but rather because she could see that he was hurting himself. "Vincent, what’s it gonna take?"

He took a long drink from the bottle, knowing that if he was going to have to talk to her, he needed to be drunk. "What do you want, Aeris?"

"Just to know that you’re going to be okay." She said meekly. "You’re always so sad, and I wish I could help you."

Vincent finally turned to her, a cruel expression upon his face. "You really want to help me? Then you take back the last thirty years, and let me start my life over. Let Lucretia love me back as much as I loved her. Kill Hojo before he injected the child she was carrying with Jenova cells. Let my parents still be alive and give me back the body I once had. Tear the demon from my soul and wash the blood from my hands. Can you do that, Aeris? Because if you could, I would really appreciate it. But you can’t, can you? You can’t even make me forget all those things even for a moment, can you?" He turned away from her again. "No? Well, I didn’t think so."

Aeris was hit hard by his words. "I’m sorry, I just wanted to maybe help you make some new memories, I guess."

"I have all the memories I need, Aeris." Vincent took another swig. "Say I did decide to humor you and talk about bullshit things. Do you know what would happen if I somehow decided that being around you might actually make me feel better? Do you have any idea at all?"

"N..No, I don’t." She stammered, never having been faced with such a self-hating person.

He looked over to her, locking her in his gaze; narrowing his crimson eyes. "Well, I’ll tell you what would happen. You would die some horrible death, that I would be solely responsible for, because that is what happens to people I like. So, if you want to live, I suggest you get the Hell away from me before I decided that I do like you."

Aeris had gotten up and walked away from him with tears in her eyes and Vincent remembered feeling nothing as she did so. His words had later turned to be prophetic as he did come to secretly like her in a way, and how Sephiroth, his son, killed her.

Vincent was brought back to the present as his brother cleared his throat. "What are you thinking?"

Vincent opened his eyes and looked up. "Just thinking what a wonderful person she was, and what a horrible one I am."

Tseng reached out and placed a hand on Vincent’s shoulder. "You are not."

"I was to her." Vincent regretted never having shown Aeris anything other than his mean side.

"Aeris was a special person, I cared for her very deeply." Tseng had a hint of a tear in his eye. "As I’ve told you before, I thought she was a treasure because of what she knew and could see that the rest of us couldn’t. One of her gifts was to see the good in anyone, whether they liked it or not. You could have killed her yourself and she still would love you."

"I might as well have killed her." Vincent dropped his gaze again. "Sephiroth was my sin."

"You mean ‘son’." Tseng corrected.

"Do I?" Vincent turned away from him. "In his case, they are one in the same."

"Help us stop Hojo from starting the Neo-Jenova Project, and perhaps you can right some things that you let get away from you in the past." Tseng said.

Vincent turned back to his brother again. "How far has he gotten with the new project?"

Tseng shrugged. "As far as we know, he is still culturing Jenova cells in anticipation of creating his new child. We do not believe that he had found his ‘ideal’ female donor as of yet."

"I see." Vincent thought for a moment. "We will have to kill him before he gets that far."

"That is why we need you, Vincent." Tseng said. "Hojo is very powerful these days. It will be difficult to kill him now that he has become completely integrated with the Jenova cells he put into his own body several years ago. It will not be easy, but now that you are with us, I feel like we might at lest have a chance."

Dr. Arlin walked into the room, still wearing her surgical gown. She came up to Vincent and handed him a small plastic vial. "I believe you should have the honors of destroying this."

"Is Tifa all right?" He asked, her safety foremost on his mind.

"Yes, she will be back in here shortly. My assistants are just getting her cleaned up." The doctor smiled. "It was surprisingly easy to get out. They didn’t bother to bury it into her spinal cord, they just attached it to a vertebral disc."

Vincent sighed in relief, and opened the vial that the doctor had given him. He dumped the small black device into his cybernetic hand, admiring its sophistication for a moment before crushing it.

As it was disintegrated within his grasp, the doctor beamed. "That puts an end to Shin Ra’s spying on you two."