Sunflower Seeds 


Author:  Dramababe[Kay] Xfdramababe@hotmail.com
Spoilers: You should know who Diana Fowley is, so I guess The End, but only slightly.
Category:  Crossover/Peanuts  Humor
Rating:  G [anyone can read this]
Summary:  Mulder has a very unusual dream. 
Distribution:  Gossamer and anywhere else as long as you keep my name and addy and email me to let me know where
Disclaimer:  Anyone you recognize obviously isn't mine.  Mulder, Scully, the three stooges[TLG] Skinner, and Fowley  belong to The Surfing God, CC and his production company, Ten Thirteen.  Snoopy, Charlie brown, Lucy, the little red haired girl, Marcy, Patty, Schroeder, and Linus  belong to the great Charles Schultz.  The peanut butter sandwich isn't mine either.  In other words, please don't sue me, I own nothing of value and don't make any money whatsoever from this Fic.  I only receive ego boosting feedback and painful flames.
Author's Notes:  One day, during rehearsals for the school play, "You're a good Man, Charlie Brown"  I had the most insane revelation:  "Wow!  The X-Files is a lot like Charlie Brown!"  From this revelation and a combination of too much X-Files and a really boring history class, came this story.  The title comes from the fact that Charlie Brown's strip is called "Peanuts" so I figured, hmmm… How about Sunflower seeds instead, because  It's Mulder's Favorite nut?  This is what happens when you get Brain burn from Finals Week.   Okay, well, on with the insanity!!

Sunflower Seeds
By Dramababe[Kay]

Mulder was bored, incredibly bored.  He had been staring at his screen saver for the past ten minutes and he could swear it was sending him messages.  It had been an incredibly slow week in the realm of the paranormal and even the gunmen had nothing for him to do.  He stared at the little flying UFO on his computer screen and his  eyes began to get heavy.  Within seconds, he was out.  His head dropped onto the keyboard and the screen saver faded to reveal a Word Document that read  "76ytghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…"
Woob woob woob… squiggly lines and fuzz…Mulder's having a dream!
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Mulder looked down in his lap and saw a very unusual object.  A peanut butter sandwich.  Considering he hated peanut butter this was very unusual. 
He looked up from his lap and took in his surroundings.  The sky was crayon blue and he was sitting on a little lonely bench by himself.  He was surrounded by little hedges and bright green grass.  There were some funny looking kids doing various things on what appeared to be a playground. 
Then, he realized that he, too, was a funny looking kid.  He was wearing a bright yellow  polo shirt with a black zigzag across the bottom with black shorts and socks and on the end of his stubby little legs were what looked like brown  sourdough loaves, which, apparently, were his feet.  
He looked at the kids again and saw a little girl that had bright red hair. 
"Is that Scully?" 
He stood up and started to walk towards her, when he suddenly had the unavoidable urge to put a paper bag over his head.
  He sat back down just as the bell rang.  He got back up and followed the rest of the funny looking kids into the schoolroom.   They all sat at little desks, so he did the same. 
He looked around at the rest of the kids and began to recognize some of them.  There was Diana Fowley, wearing a Blue dress sitting in the back talking very loudly to some girls.  Then, there was Langly, playing a stubby little piano in the corner.  Byers sat nearby and hugged a blue blanket.  Skinner was wearing a green shirt with striped green shorts and he had hair!!  Kim, his secretary sat behind him in a red dress and thick glasses.  She talked to him quietly and called him "Sir" 
Finally, he saw the huge desk at the front of the room.  It was so high, that he could barely see the Director of the FBI sitting behind it.  He was very tall and much bigger than everyone else.  He opened his mouth to speak and a very strange noise came out. 
"Wonka-wonk-wonk-wagga.  Wa-wa-wonka-waga-wagga-wogo." 
Surprisingly, Mulder understood every word of it.  It was an order to write a book report on the book "Peter Rabbit."   Skinner then proceeded to get his blue binder stuck on his head and was sent to the principal.  Finally, after a while, the bell rang and Mulder followed the rest of the kids "home" wherever that was. 
The bus stopped at a house that seemed like his, so he got off and walked through a gate. 
There, on top of a red doghouse, sat Frohike,.  He was playing with little yellow birds.  Mulder decided it was better not to ask. 
He went inside and tried to do the book report, but found himself procrastinating and couldn't seem to even get a word on the paper  with his stubby yellow pencil.  Then, he went to his room and laid his head down to sleep.
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Mulder woke up with a start when he heard a door opening.  He looked up and checked his surroundings.  He was still in the office. He breathed a sigh of relief and looked up to see Scully enter the room.  Suddenly, he got the sudden irrepressible urge to put a paper bag over his head…

So, what did you think?  Did it suck really bad?  Did you laugh, even just a little?  Tell me!!   I hope it was at least tolerable.  I also hope you got all the references to Peanuts, otherwise, this probably made no sense to you whatsoever.  Oh well, tell me anyways!!!  ::two large men enter the room and  grab Kay from her desk:: No!! No!!!  You can't take me!!  I don't like the huggy coat!! It's so…bland!!   Don't these things come in other colors besides institutional-off-white?  Noooo!! Not the tranquilizer shot!!…………Okay, Peoples, I love you, Buh-Bye!!  Oooh!  Arts and Crafts!  We're making potholders today!  Yay!!!…….the saga continues
-Kay