Jeanne Rose, Methos Wife #47, sister of Darius, guardian of Duncan's storage room, and ticket collector on the immortal love train

Ended up recording both The Darkness and Eye for an Eye yesterday (so that I can put Peter's ep of "The Sentinel" on a different tape tonight). Of course, as usual, when The Darkness came on, I thought, nah, I don't want to watch this again.  It's too hard.  But most of the story is about something else, so I said to myself, hey, I'll just turn it off before it gets to the end.

Fat chance.  I turned it off for all of about 4 seconds.  And then turned it back on and sobbed through the whole thing again.  Anybody else?  Why do we do this?

Interesting how different Duncan's reaction is to finding Darius vs finding Tessa (I just noticed - he wasn't there when either of them died).  With Darius he screams and throws chairs.  With Tessa, he could have run to her calling, "Tessa, Tessa, no!"  But he doesn't.  He stops some distance away, and then slowly walks forward, and slowly picks up and holds the body from which she is already gone.  Maybe because the folks behind the camera knew they were taking a big chance with Tessa, and gave it a little more thought.  A moment of denial, and then simply shock, and a grief so deep all he could do was sit there and hold her.

I don't remember hearing "Dust in the Wind" before seeing it used here - for me it will always be the song of Duncan standing in that room listening to the echoes of memories of his life there with Tessa.  I have done that once or twice - stood alone in a place in silence and listened to the ghosts of everything that has happened there.  In certain moods it's almost as if you can sense the traces people leave of themselves in a place where they have loved and laughed and wept.

And when Richie is outside waiting for him, no longer dressed in garish colors, I found myself seeing him in an entirely new light.  Having him become immortal is almost a validation of his character.  No longer on the outside looking in, forever dwarfed by Duncan's immortality.  New and vulnerable, and still very much Richie, but now taking himself seriously, seeing his potential, ready to become more than Duncan's sidekick.  Unlike poor Charlie, who is condemned to be forever in the dark and out of the loop.

And wasn't it just the way life is that just when Richie really needs a friend, a father, a mentor, a teacher, Duncan is least prepared to help him.  Richie's inexperience only drives home how easily Duncan could lose him too.  But now as a potential equal, Richie confronts Duncan with the problem and Duncan takes what he says seriously.  I love their simultaneous apologies.  Which makes the swordplay sequence all the more meaningful - almost a healing moment as much as a bonding one.  I love the look on Duncan's face the first time Richie has a sword at his throat.  It shows the level of trust he has to let Richie disarm him - after centuries of protecting his head to let a kid he has known only a year have him at a disadvantage, even for a moment.

I think it was probably healing as well for Duncan to get drunk with Annie and let the bitter, angry side of his grief surface.  She asks him if he's dead.  I think it's a fair question.  He's lost his mentor and his soulmate in a the course of a few weeks.  I personally don't think the loose, straggly hair looks good on him, but it is sort of a symbol of his mental and emotional state.  It was so human of the two of them to do what they did.  And so true to both of their natures for her to respond with denial, him with acceptance.

"So, you fought?"  "Not really.  It's . . . comlicated."  Yeah, you could say that.  Man, this one was *so well written*.  So many things going on, on different levels.  Good old Richie stealing a sword and going off to face Annie. (Did anyone else notice that the dialogue including the line "I want you to survive" between Duncan and Richie could have been lifted and put between Methos and Duncan and have worked equally well?)  Richie might have lost his head, but he was willing to face that rather than start his life as an immortal by running away.  I don't think Duncan would even have suggested it if it had been anyone but Annie, or any other time but right after Tessa's death.  Duncan doesn't usually believe in running away.

And so when he sees them fighting he knows that it was what should have happened.  He can't keep Richie out of the game.  But I do wish he had stopped to explain more carefully that you are most certainly NOT under obligation to kill immortals you defeat.  Duncan avoids it whenever he can.  If he'd made that clear to Richie right then it might have saved some grief later on.

Well, I better get up to work and post this.  It's a real bother that I can't be around the Forum during the day much anymore.  I'm going to try to get on at night a little more often, but we'll see.  I miss you guys!