Section One: 
         Humor... it is an Odd Concept
Section Two: 
         Blatant Star Wars Rip Offs: 
Section Three:
         Unfinished Business Section Four:
         Our Contract Says We Need Them
COUNTER
Started: 6-24-99   Updated: 12-24-03




         “Simply smashing old sport, that's simply smashing.  I’m so glad that you’re resuming your lessons at college.  Builds character, my daddy always said, builds character.  Tell me, though, what are you studying?”

         “Meta-fictional psychosis, Uncle Roland.  I’ve already found a wonderful resource for outside information.  I’m sure I’ll be able to get a degree this time.”

         The older of the two tea drinkers lifted a pipe to his lips and began smoking it.  “Meta-fictional psychosis you say… I believe I’ve heard of that before…” he said.   Or, at least, he meant to say, for at that particular moment, Pyla and Reea drove up in the Mackadelic.

         “OUT!  Get OUT!”  Pyla was in her purple, sparkly combat boots again, armed with hacksaw and mace.  She was not happy that the Librarian had agreed to sub-let her apartment.

         “BACK foul creatures!  Leave the premises at once and you shall not be harmed!”  Reea was looking pleased with herself.  So many big words, all in one sentence!  She too was armed, a sword, still sheathed fortunately, slung across her back and a large cast iron skillet in each hand.

         The gentlemen on the porch took one look at them, opened their mouths once in unison, closed them again without having said a thing, and then both leapt for the phone.  Moments later a U-Haul showed up, all their things were packed in said U-Haul, and Pyla and Reea were home again.

         Suddenly, the scene changes.  Rather than the Twins’ apartment, we now focus on the top of a bookshelf in the middle of the Library.  Tousai and Ari’na, Tousai in a black t-shirt and jeans, once again golden-eyed and be-glasses-ed, Ari’na with her hair in odongo and wearing a Sailor Moon t-shirt, are perched on the top of this bookshelf.  They grin.  Tousai opens her mouth, glances at Ari’na to make sure she’s not about to be Thwacked, and then speaks.

         “Sorry about the long delay, folks.  We were waiting for you to speak to us, tell us what you liked and what you’d like to do.  But no one talked.  So we’re back, and better than ever.  We’ve had lots of time to store up ideas, we’ve even got a few already started on, and before too much longer you’ll have more to read from us than ever before.  Of course, the offer to attempt to populate the Library yourselves still stands.  Just email us, and we’ll even be happy to help you out.  Tell you what flies and what doesn’t.  Or don’t.  We do this for free.  We’d even do it if we got paid, and once someone pays you to do a thing, it quickly becomes work… and no one likes work.”  At a sharp look from Ari’na, Tousai abruptly shuts up.

         “I think what my long-winded sister is trying to say is that we’re happy to do it, we like it, even, but we don’t mind contributions.  Welcome back to the Library, and happy readings.”

         They glance at each other before rolling backwards off the top of the bookshelf and disappearing.

         Welcome Back, folks.
 
 
Old Introductions/Front  Stories 
(Oldest to newest) 

         "Pyla? Pyla!  PYLA!"  Reea catapaulted around the Spaceport. All the Furniture was different! The reception booth was supposed to be on the other side of the room, and these chairs, this wouldn't do, everything was out of place, and Reea had a pretty good idea who was to blame.  Pyla was rearranging things again.  "Pyla, where are you??"  Pyla poked her head abruptly around a doorframe. 

         "Right here, sister dearest, what is the reason for your polydecibel outburst?" 

         Reea came up short, momentarily forgetting what she was going to say.  "Huh?  Pyla, have you been reading the dictionary again?" 

         Pyla looked disgusted with her sister.  "Don't you remember anything from science class?"  She sighed in increased disgust at Reea's continuing blank look.  "Why were you yelling." 

         "Oh!" Enlightenment dawned.  "What did you do with the 'fridge?  When you moved everything around, I couldn't find it."  Pyla pointed mutely at the pseudo-cube sitting in the middle of the floor, hidden in plain sight.  At that moment, Danny came tumbling through the door in all his minute punkly splendor. 

         "Ow!  Ouch!  *Yelp!* Ow!"  The Meanies had been playing hockey again, and Danny had been elected to serve as puck.  Poor Danny.  The Punk Vampire sat up, shook his head vigourously, checked to make sure he hadn't chipped a tooth, and smiled sweetly, revealing his pearly set of fangs.  He stalked off into the Lounge, complete with high quality Lounge Lizard.  The opening strains of "Desert Rose" echoed through the room before he slammed the door to sulk. He did it well, especially when the Meanies were being... Mean.  Just as the door slammed shut, Pyla's eyes glazed over.  Her highly sensitive ears had picked up the subtle timbre of Louis's voice. 

         "I'll... be... right... back...."  Her drool reflex kicked in as she began to drift away from her sister, whose stomach was gurgling. 

         "PYLA!"  Reea grabbed onto her sister's arm, only to be dragged along.  The Lounge door swung open and the two disappeared into it's darkened interior, a small gecko escaping into the Spaceport proper behind them.  The door swung shut and life in all the local variations of the term, continued. 

       Two heads, one brown haired and one black, accompanied by two fists, one right and one left, holding two swords, one Blade's and the other the Headless Horseman's, popped up over the ticket counter at the Sleepy Hollow 27, now showing Sleepy Hollow. In perfect unison (they had practiced, you know), Ari'na and Tousa Niklah began their speech. "What happens when your character visits the Library? Why don't you tell us? There are a few basic rules, but otherwise, it's easy. Rule number one: all submissions must be humorous in nature. Rule number two: we reserve the right to reject any and all submissions. Rule number three: if you introduce new cast members, other than yourself or your alter-ego, it has to be for a better reason than to boost your friends' egos. This site is dedicated to our egos only. Rule number four: we reserve the right to send any and all introduced characters home. Rule number five: any submission in which one of the pre-existing cast members is sent home, killed off, or otherwise done away with will be summarily ground into powder and blasted into oblivion. Think you have what it takes to join the cast and crew that brings the Library to the 'net? Do ya? Huh?" The speech ended, they looked at each other, grinned evilly, and disappeared into the depths of the theater. The sounds of battle ensued. "Ha ha!" "Have at thee!" KLANK! "Huh?" 

Send them here.  | E-mail Ari'na | E-mail Tousai |  Or here.

         THUD! THUMP! KERSPLAT YELP BANG! Reea's nightmares had come true once more. Pyla was rearranging things again. 

         The wall that hadn't been there before abruptly deteriorated into lose scraps of paper and plaster upon her passing, the tables and chairs splintered as she tripped over and through them, and just as she was about to fall flat on the refrigerator, some all powerful, loving, caring being stopped her. The Goddess of Foodstuffs had saved Reea from destroying all that she held dear. 

         Reea, held three inches away from the 'fridge but still within danger of kersplatting against it, whimpered for her sister. 

         "Pyla...?" 

         "Yessssss?" Pyla slid smoothly from behind one large, obstructing piece of furniture or another. 

         "Why are you doing this again?" 

         Pyla, always one to torment her sister, smiled evilly. "Because it's fun, sister dear. Now, will you please clean up your mess?" 

         Reea whimpered, delicately extricated herself from the hold the Goddess of Foodstuffs had on her, and slunk off to gather her cleaning supplies. 

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