SCENE ONE
Characters:
(Pyla-Gon Jinn is running through the forest of Naboom, pursued by a Trade Federation battle cruiser. Jar-Jar Binks is getting an early morning munchie from a nearby swampy pond type thing. Jar-Jar, startled by the rumble of the battle cruiser and the rapidly fleeing wildlife, looks up, panics, and leaps onto Pyla-Gon. Pyla-Gon runs a few steps further, then collapses from the added weight, just in time to avoid being hit by the Cruiser.)
Pyla-Gon: What do you think you're doing? You nearly got us both killed!
Jar-Jar: (completely ignoring Pyla's line) Yousa saved mesa!
Pyla-Gon: (turning to leave) ACTUAL LINE INSERTED HERE (Ok, so we can't remember right now...)
Jar-Jar: Mesa spek!
Pyla-Gon: The ability to speak does not prove intelligence. (At the moment, Reea-Wan Kenobi appears, chased by two battle droids riding speeders. Pyla-Gon reacts, destroying one shortly after the destruction of the other by Reea-Wan)
Reea-Wan: What is this? (Gestures in Jar-Jar's general direction)
Pyla-Gon: A native. (Turning to Jar-Jar) You should leave. We tend to attract danger.
Jar-Jar: No! Mesa stay! The Gods! They DEMAND it!
Pyla-Gon: (considers for a moment) Do you know of anywhere we could go for sanctuary?
Jar-Jar: Yes! Gunguns live in Secret City! Is hidden city!
Pyla-Gon: could you take us there?
Jar-Jar: On second thought, no, is kinda embarrassing but mesa... uh... banished. If I go back, they do terrible things to me! Terrrrrible things!
(At that moment, Pyla-Gon's stomach gurgles loudly, coinciding perfectly with a distant rumble of destruction from the Trade Federation's battle cruisers)
Reea-Wan Kenobi: Do you hear that sound? That is the sound of a thousand terrible things coming this way.
Pyla-Gon: No that would be my stomach.
Reea-Wan Kenobi: (Ignores her master's statement, and begins to back Jar-Jar into a tree, approaches slowly but with a definite air of menace.) If they catch us, they will kill us, grind our bones into tiny pieces, and blast us into oblivion. (Now taking definite pleasure in Jar-Jar's panicked expression and obvious fear/uncertainty)
Pyla-Gon: Umm... Reea? I said that was my stomach. The last time we ate anything was on the big donut in the sky, orbiting this planet. It would be understandable for me to be rather hungry by now...
Jar-Jar: Yousa's point seems... ah... well taken. I take yousa to the hidden city.
Pyla-Gon: REEA!! I SAID IT WAS MY STOMACH!!!
Reea-Wan: I was talking about the battle cruisers, master. And I guarantee you that that was not your stomach. Jar-Jar, lead the way.
Jar-Jar: Yousa follow me now! (Leaps into the pond he'd been getting his mid-morning munchie from before being interrupted by the Jedis with a loud yell and a rather impressive flip. The Jedis follow him, minus loud yell and flip, plus underwater breathers.)
Pyla-Gon: (before going under) when will I get any good lines?
END OF SCENE