A Misunderstanding
by tvsgypsy

NOTICE:  This is my very first attempt at fan fiction.  Comments are welcome; who doesn't like a little self-improvement?  Oh yeah, and also:  The characters of Iolaus and Hercules are owned by Universal Studios and Renaissance Pictures (not me).  Anyone who says that I'm using them to make money or that I'm profiting in any way by them is just wrong.  It's simply good, clean fun, people.  However, Caitlin is mine.

      "Herc, would you hurry up!"
       "Iolaus, we've got three full days to reach Tripolis before Demeter's festival begins, you know that."  The taller man  unconsciously rolled his eyes, but not without the shorter one noticing.
       "What was that for?"
       "What was what for?"
       "That cute little eye-roll.  You're being moody, Herc.  That's really not your style."
       "I never rolled my eyes."
       "Yes you did."
       "No, I didn't!"
       "Yes, you did!"
       "No, I didn't, Iolaus!"
       "You've never lied to me before, so why start now?"  Iolaus smiled, but it immediately withered under Hercules' glare, which was reinforced by crossed arms.  "Fine, so you never rolled your eyes, but please don't do it again.  I hate it when you get moody.  It doesn't becaome you."
       Hercules actually rolled his eyes again, and resumed the journey to Tripolis.  Iolaus hung back for a few minutes, and finally followed.  What in the name of all gods is the matter with him?  Iolaus wondered to himself, watching the son of Zeus' back.  He likes festivals just as much as the next guy.  Something's obviously bugging him, though.  Is it something I said?

~~~~~~~

      The rest of the journey to Tripolis was made in silence.  Hercules and Iolaus were both wondering almost the same things about each other, Hercules' thoughts being a bit more bitter than Iolaus'.  Right outside theiir destination, Hercules turned around and bluntly said, "This is stupid.  What's the point of this?  Really, Iolaus, come on."
       "The point is that you're acting strange.  What's your problem?"  Iolaus stood there in the middle of the road with his hands firmly planted on his hips, ready to hear whatever his friend had to say.  "I mean, we're going to Demeter's festival!!! The best one of the year!  You should be happy!  Festivals are good things.  Food, girls, music, dancing, dancing girls--"
       "But you see, Iolaus, you always have all the fun you want and I'm the one who drags you off to your bed at night because you're too drunk to crawl.  Did it ever occur to you that I might want to be the drunk one now and then--wait, no, that's not exactly what I meant but--you know what I'm talking about!"
       "You drag me to bed?  That's awfully nice of you, Herc.  I don't even remember."  Iolaus grinned like a naughty child who enjoys being bad.
       Hercules looked up at the sky in a gods-give-me-patience gesture and growled, "Oh shut up a minute, Iolaus, if you're even capable of that...."
       Iolaus stood stock still, stung by the cutting remark.  His blue eyes were wide open, staring at a person who once seemed to be his best friend in all the known world, but seemed more like a complete stranger now.  He blinked, shook his head a couple times, and looked at Hercules more closely.  From the way the legendary hero was glaring daggers at Iolaus, the blond hunter concluded that there was nothing to be done but just to keep on going to the festival and pay no attention to Hercules.  Iolaus turned around and started walking again.  He didn't think it was worth it to look back.
       By the time he got to the city square where the festival was at its most boisterous, Iolaus unwillingly troubled himself to look around for Hercules.  Why am I doing this?  he thought.  If he doesn't want to have fun, that's his problem.  Jeez, does he ever know how to hold a grudge....
      Meanwhile, Hercules was sitting comfortably under a huge, ancient oak tree on a hill outside the city.  He thought about Iolaus, how he'd responded to Iolaus' earlier actions, and what he might be thinking about their friendship right now.  But the hero brushed the thoughts aside, coming to the conclusion that hey, they could use a little time apart for a change.  How irritating.... Hercules thought,

~~~~~~~

      Iolaus was tired.  It was noonish, and the sun was beating down upon the city with no mercy.  The hunter made his way into a dark tavern, ordered an ale and flopped down onto one of the barstools.  As he accepted his drink, someone sat down next to him, and just stared at him.
       "Can I help you?" he asked without looking at the person.
       "Well, it's just that you looked a bit low," said a musical voice, "and I was wondering what was wrong."
       Iolaus turned to see a young woman, tall (well, taller than him, anyway), with wavy brown hair, freckled, and well-dressed.  She was holding a musical instrument; it looked like a little pipe of some kind, though it was hard to tell in the smoky light of the tavern.
       "Uhh, nothing.  Nothing at all," he lied.
       "Now, you can't fib to me, sir, no matter how much you'd like to.  A man with no troubles doesn't order an ale and then just let it sit there on the countertop."
       Iolaus smiled at that.  "I'm Iolaus.  Nice to meet you, umm....?"
       "Caitlin.  I'm a musician with a traveling group from Eire."  Iolaus looked a little confused.  "Hibernia is what the Romans call it."  Iolaus nodded.  She glanced at the untouched mug in front of Iolaus.  "If you don't drink that, I will."
       "Go right ahead.  I'm not really up for it anymore, and I'd hate to see it wasted," Iolaus said dejectedly.
       "Mmmff," she said appreciatively from inside the mug.
       "What?"
       "Thanks."  After a swallow or two, the young woman repeated her original question:  "So, what's the matter?"
       "Oh, my best friend and I don't seem to be getting along well anymore."
       "And how long has this been going on?"
       "What are you, a shrink?"  Caitlin just looked at Iolaus blankly.  "Oh, all right... about three days ago my friend and I were coming here for the festival-"
       "Sorry to interrupt, but what's your friend's name?" Caitlin asked.
       "Hercules," Iolaus stated flatly.  He waited for the outpour of recognition and praise (for Hercules, of course).
       "Oh, ok.  You were saying?"
       Iolaus was greatly surprised.  Everyone knows who Herc is, he thought.  How does Caitlin not?
       "Oh, wait--don't I know that name?  I think so...yeah, he's that guy..."--she snapped her fingers a couple times, thinking-- "that hero-type guy, right?"  She spoke uncertainly, as if she didn't know quite what she was talking about.
       "Uh, yeah.  He's a demigod.  The son of Zeus, actually," Iolaus practically moaned.  "But that's ok; I mean, he's a really great guy and there's no such thing as a mean streak in him."  Caitlin looked at him strangely because Iolaus seemed to be growing sadder with every word he spoke.
       "That can't be what's wrong," she said.  "Your friend sounds like the kind of person whom anyone would love to have around.  So why aren't you two getting along?"  She sat, absently drinking Iolaus' ale, waiting for an answer.
       "Yeah, he's nice and all that, but sometimes--well, I just have to agree with what his half-sister Aphrodite says: 'Bor--ringgg!'  She's quite the goddess, you know...."  Iolaus trailed off with a dreamy look on his face.
       Caitlin snapped her fingers under his nose to bring him back to reality.  "Hey! You're not paying attention.  Uh, before we get back to our original purpose, I have one question."
       "What's that?"
       Caitlin blushed.  She felt really stupid asking it, but she had to.  "Who's Aphrodite?"  Iolaus apoke the name like it was someone important, but the Gaelic girl hadn't a clue.
       Iolaus gaped at her incredulously, trying to fathom if she was joking or not.  Caitlin just shooke her head a little, so he sighed and said, "The Goddess of Love, you bonehead.  Sorry.  Where in all the known world are you from, Persia or something?"
       Caitlin simply said, "No, just Eire.  I shouldn't say 'just,' really.  It's a long, long way home."
       "Aren't those the people who paint themselves blue all the time?"
       "Not all the time.  I'm no blue, am I?"  Caitlin gave him one of those oh-for-the-gods'-sakes looks.
       "Fine, whatever.  Anyway, what were we talking about?"  Iolaus grinned sheepinshly.
       "I was trying to help you with your problem about what's-his-name--"
       "Hercules."
       "Yeah, him.  So?  What started this whole thing between you two?"
       "About three days ago, we were on our way to Tripolis...." and iolaus related his story to Caitlin about the journey to the festival.
       She looked at the splintered and stained wooden bar.  "Sounds like both of you were sort of on edge that day.  Maybe it was--I don't know, just a ba day or something--"
       "No," Iolaus sighed.  "We were coming to Demeter's festival, and we're usually in such a good mood for that kind of thing...."  The hunter put his elbows on the bar and rested his chin in his hands.
       "Um, could it possibly have anything to do with what day it was, you know, like the date?"  Iolaus raised an eyebrow at her.  "No, really," she continued, "my father is always down and edgy every year around the time my older brother Padraic left home to join some army or other.  He never came back.  Our family has always been pacifists, so you can imagine what my father thought of Padraic.  So, could it be a possibility?"
       Iolaus thought for a moment, and suddenly had an idea.  "I'm not sure, but I think today is the day that Hercules' wife and three children were all--killed by his stepmother, about four years ago."
       "What kind of stepmother would do something like that?!  That's disgusting!"
       "I guess I should explain," Iolaus said.  "Hercules' father is Zeus, the King of the gods, ok?  So therefore his stepmother is Hera, Zeus' wife.  His real mother is Alcmene--you should meet her.  She's great.  She practically raised me."
       "Is she a goddess, too?"
       "No, no, she's mortal--that's why Herc is half-mortal, half-god--whay am I telling you all this?"
       "Did you know that you have an unbearably short attention span?  Because we want to figure out what's bothering your friend."  Caitlin gave a little sigh of despair.
       Iolaus, however, did not notice, and continued.  "Oh yeah.  Anyhow, I think that's what happened.  Hera is what one would call a 'bitch-goddess.'  She's always trying to kill Hercules because of her obsessive jealousy of Zeus' philandering.  Now that I say it, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, does it?"
       "No, not really."  In actuality, Caitlin was completely lost.  "I'm sorry, it must be hell for him.  So, how'd Hera kill them?"
       Iolaus shot her the dirtiest look he could muster.  "That's nice.  Act all sorrowful and then get right down to the grisly stuff, is that it?"
       "That's not it at all, thank you very much," Caitlin said contritely.  "I was just wondering.  I mean, if this Hear-person is queen of the gods or whatever, it had tobe a little creative.  Especially if she hated your friend so much."
       Iolaus hesitated, aand then told her.  "It was a fireball.  Set the whole aflame when Deianeira--that's Herc's wife--and the kids were sleeping."
       "Where was Hercules then?"
       With me.  We were just coming back from a night on the town.  It always makes me feel so guilty when I think of it...."  Iolaus took the mug back from Caitlin and drained the rest of the ale, and then closely studied the top of the bar.
       Caitlin deliberated for a moment, but then put her hand on Iolaus' shoulder.  She leaned over so she could see his hidden face.  "It's not your fault.  How could it possibly be your fault?  You didn't know Hera was going to--to do that.  I'm sure Hercules doesn't hold it aganst you.  How could you have known?  Don't beat yourself up about something you had no control over."
       Iolaus kept his head down, but sort of shook it.  When he lifted it up some time later, Caitlin was gone.

~~~~~~~

      Hercules walked casually through the celebrating streets of Tripolis, pretending not to look for Iolaus.  On the outside, he appeared utterly composed, just enjoying the festivities.  On the inside, though, he was a turmoil of emotion.  He couldn't figure out whether to be relieved that Iolaus was off somewhere, doing gods knew what, or whether to worry about him to the point where he was acting like his mother.
       He decided to worry.
       He couldn't help it.  Iolaus was his bst friend, no matter what happened, no matter how insensitive he could be to Hercules' feelings.
       Anyway, Hercules thought, he can't really have meant-- Then he said under his breath, "At least I hope not--"
       He didn't have a chance to get any further with his thoughts because he noticed a head of golden, curly hair wandering through the crowd.  He chased after it as fast as he could, but inevitably lost it.  He really wasn't surprised, what with the old hunter's tricks and everything.
       Hercules sat down on the nearest public bench he could find, which happened to be across the street from a performing group of musicians which looked a bit foreign.  He moved closer to hear the music better.  The troupe was playing a lively tune, and some of the spectators were dancing.  Hercules advanced until he was standing next to the bench where the owner of the golden hair sat.
       "Iolaus," Hercules said; more a statement of fact than a greeting.
       "Hercules."  Iolaus moved over on the bench to make room for the bigger man.  He opened his mouth to say something else, but stopped himself and shut it again.  A member of the troup glanced at them.
       "Well," Hercules said.  "Go on."
       Iolaus just shook his head.  "I forgot...."
       "No, you didn't.  You know exactly what you were going to say, so just say it."
       "I'm sorry I forgot about Deianeira--that was what was bothering you, right?"
       Hercules seemed to be lost in thought for a time.  Then he said, "Well, no, come to think of it, not really.  You were just bugging Tartarus out of me that morning."
       Iolaus turned to look at his friend for the first time.  "What?"
      "You were being singularly annoying."  Hercules made it sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
       "Uh."  For once in his life, Iolaus was at a loss for words.
       "Hey, it's not your fault.  Everyone has (or should have) a right to be annoying and obnoxious sometimes.  And I suppose I was taking it a little too personally, besides."
       Iolaus just sat there for a moment, thinking.  He supposed he could understand what Herc was talking about, but for the gods' sakes! he wasn't that maddening, was he, to make the pair part ways for more than two or three days?  He asked Hercules that, and the son of Zeus reluctantly nodded.
       "Well, I'm sorry, Herc.  I hope I'm not like that all the time...."
       "Oh, no, no, of course not, Iolaus.  You're the best friend a guy like me could ever have.  I mean it.  A d I accept your apology."
       Iolaus grinned that amazing grin of his and said, "Good, I'm glad that's overwith , 'cos I've been wanting to ask this...ahh...specific person of my acquaintance to dance for the past couple of songs now--"
       "Met someone, huh?"  Hercules raised an eyebrow.
       "Yeah.  I did."

the end

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