Disclaimer on first part of story.
By Orion
Three hours later, Kathryn set the padd down on the table for the fifth time and began pacing the room. She couldn't concentrate on work tonight. She felt so restless. Maybe a hot bath would relax her. While the tub was running, she went to the replicator, got a cup of warm tea, and took it into the bath with her. Settling back and closing her eyes, she willed her body to relax. She tried to think calming thoughts. She was lying on a blanket in the grass by a stream, listening to the water gurgling over rocks, feeling the fresh breeze blowing across her face, feeling the soft press of lips kissing her forehead, her eyelids, her jaw.... Her eyes flew open and she sat up with a start, sloshing water out of the tub. Chakotay. Couldn't he stay out of her thoughts for a minute?
She got out of the tub and dried herself. So much for a relaxing bath. Putting on her nightgown and grabbing a padd, she walked over to the sofa and sat down to go over the long range scanner reports. Ten minutes of that and the padd was on the table again. Kathryn couldn't help wondering what Chakotay was doing in his quarters. Was he having trouble concentrating too?
She grabbed a pillow and clutched it to her chest. She thought of everyone at Talent Night, and Chakotay, alone, in his quarters. Just like her. Was what she was doing fair to him? He knew she had feelings for him she stubbornly kept inside. Just then an appalling thought hit her. What if he found someone else? "No," she said out loud. The thought of him touching someone else filled her with a kind of jealousy she'd never before experienced. She got up and started pacing again. Oh, come on, Kathryn. You say you don't want him, but no one else can have him either? How much longer could she deprive herself of what she knew she wanted, what she needed, even craved?
Before she could over-analyze what she was doing, for fear she'd change her mind, she changed into loose fitting pants and a big shirt and was out the door. She stood outside Chakotay's quarters, looking around to make sure no one saw her. She lifted her arm to ring the chime, hesitated, took three steps to walk away, turned around and rang it before she lost her nerve.
"Come in," she heard his voice call.
Kathryn entered Chakotay's quarters and stayed by the door after it closed. He was sitting on the sofa leaning over four padds on the coffee table in front of him. When he looked up, he didn't seem too surprised to see her there, especially at this late hour.
"Kathryn," he said, sitting back on the sofa further, "what a pleasant surprise." He paused, and when she didn't say anything he said, "Tell me, is this business...or pleasure?"
She couldn't ignore the look of raw desire she saw burning in his eyes. Suddenly not sure why she had come she babbled, "This was a mistake," and turned to leave.
"No, wait," he called, running over to stop her. "Come here." He took her hand and walked back to the sofa. "Computer, dim lights."
"Chakotay, I..."
"Shhh..." he put his finger on her lips. "Sit down," he said as he sat down with her. He turned her slightly away from him and put his hands on her shoulders. He started kneading the knots of tension he felt under his fingers. "Relax," he said softly.
His hands continued on her shoulders for a while, then moved down her arms and back up again. His touch was setting her skin on fire and she closed her eyes. Chakotay caressed her back to her hips, then ran his hands down the outside of her thighs to her knees. When they started to retrace their path he felt her tremble.
Keeping his hands in contact with her, he leaned forward and whispered in her ear. "God, Kathryn, I love you," he said.
Her eyes opened, almost shocked at the actual depth of his feelings for her. Almost. In a way her heart had always known what her head had refused to acknowledge.
Chakotay's hands moved over her waist to her belly, and her hands covered his. He whispered again. "Kathryn," he paused. "Do you love me?"
She felt overwhelmed with emotion and on the verge of tears. How could she have denied what was between them for so long? Feeling unable to speak she nodded her head, then managed to whisper, "Yes."
"Tell me," he said, turning her around to face him. He started kissing her neck. "I want to hear you say it."
"Oh, Chakotay. I love you so much," she said, her voice shaking.
He looked up and a single tear ran down her cheek. He put his hand up to her face and wiped the tear with his thumb. She lifted her eyes to his and the look she found there seemed to sear her very soul.
"I feel like I've waited my whole life for this," he said in a husky voice.
Kathryn smiled and nodded. "Me too," she said quietly.
Chakotay stood up and took both her hands in his, pulling her along as he backed into the bedroom. He stopped at the side of the bed and enveloped her in a brief hug. Then he released her, put one hand on either side of her face and bent down until their lips met for the tenderest of kisses. Kathryn began rubbing her hands up and down his arms, which were bare up to the sleeve of his t-shirt. Their lips parted and they tasted the inner sweetness of each other's mouths. Chakotay's hands left her face and drifted under her shirt to caress her back.
He broke the kiss to look at her, eyebrows raised. "No bra?" he asked.
"I was in a hurry," she said. "I didn't want to change my mind."
"You're not going to now, are you?"
"Oh, absolutely not," she said, and began pulling his t-shirt off. When she finished with that task, Chakotay lifted her shirt over her head. He ran his hands lightly over her breasts and stomach before inserting his thumbs in the waistband of her pants. He tugged her pants and underwear off at the same time. Now she was standing naked in front of him and feeling suddenly shy.
"Somehow I feel at a disadvantage," she said with an embarrassed grin.
"We don't want that, do we?" Chakotay said and took his pants and underwear off, too. "Feel better?" he asked picking her up in his arms.
"Yes."
"Good." He deposited her on the bed and laid down beside her. He stroked her cheek. "I can't believe this is really happening."
Kathryn took his hand and kissed his palm. "Believe it," she whispered.
Chakotay claimed her mouth again and suddenly their hands couldn't get enough of each other. She felt the muscles of his chest and knew how much she excited him from his racing heart. There was more proof of his excitement pressing against her belly as her hands strayed to his back and down further to his buttocks.
Chakotay's hands and lips worked their magic on Kathryn. He kissed her neck and nibbled her earlobe. His tongue circled the sensitive peak of her breast, and she gasped when he sucked it into his mouth. Next, his hand smoothed over her stomach and down her thigh, drifting to the inner side and back up until it found her moist heat. Caressing her with his fingers, he inserted two, driving her into a frenzy of need. Her own hand found his hardness and embraced his smooth skin, while his thumb reached out and stroked her. Kathryn lifted her leg over his hip, trying to pull him closer, her white teeth digging into her bottom lip as she moaned softly. Beads of perspiration broke out on her forehead.
"Oh, Chakotay," she cried out between breaths.
"I know, Kathryn. I know."
He rolled her onto her back and settled himself between her legs. Staring into her eyes, he entered her slowly. She wrapped her legs around his waist to draw him into her further. Kathryn's hips met his rhythm as he withdrew and reentered again and again. She ran her hands over his sweat-slickened back, her nails biting into his flesh. Every fiber of her being cried out for release as Chakotay took them closer to the edge. At that instant, her body clenched his as waves of pure pleasure came crashing down upon her. Soon after, Chakotay called her name as spasms shook his own body.
Lying in each other's arms, they remained silent until their breathing returned to normal. Chakotay pulled the blanket over them and curled her into his body, her back against his chest.
"That was wonderful," she sighed.
"I agree." His arm was draped over her body and he linked his fingers through hers. "Tell me. Do you have any regrets?"
"No..."
"But?" he asked, sensing something in her voice.
She rolled onto her back and looked up at him. "I don't have any regrets, really I don't. But I wonder what the crew will think when they find out, and eventually they will. Will they think I've compromised my authority?"
Chakotay brushed a stray lock of hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. "Kathryn, you are a strong, courageous, intelligent, and loving woman. And no one on this ship has any doubts about you being able to handle any situation that comes our way, no matter what relationship you and I have."
Kathryn looked up at him and smiled. "You know, Chakotay, I'm starting to believe that." Then she lowered her eyes and said, "Thank you."
"You're very welcome," Chakotay said as his lips claimed hers again.
END