too late
I think it's too late
it's too late to second guess
every choice I've made
and though I have asked many times before-
what brought me here,
now my questions have changed
and the direction clouded
and the paths dark
and now I think-
what if I change my mind?
and I think of the perfect perfect
and how very many steps I am
away from It
and I cry for what I don't have
when I am not even sure I want it
and maybe that's why I cry
because it is too late to decide
either way
tranquility, serenity
these words contain absurdity
we sail this see of calm desire
we contain ourselves in mass chaos
and the dulling of our senses
concludes in bitter numbness.
intoxicate me with silly tantrums.
your fairy tales and myths
derange and rearrange our insight.
I don't take truth in anything we say
because we are required to lie.
and I hate to tell the truth anyway.
August, 1993
I Won't Love You
You can't plan your dying day
based on words I'll never say
I don't love you
and those shouldn't be the last words you hear
I don't love you
and nothing can ever be forced on us
we can't make love out of dust
we can never make love
and for you I would want to do anything you ask
but what I want and what I can do are dissonant
and I dissolve
I melt on the sidewalk
and many have walked over the person you stand before
and I don't love you
and you can't plan on me, you can't depend on me,
you can't defend me, you can't feel me
And I won't linger inside of you
but I won't hide from you.
I promise solemnly that I won't ever love you.
And I don't love you.
September, 1994
(later edited and recorded as a song)
more coming soon...
