Cast of Characters Page 1 |
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switkin.com (Daniel Switkin) Fellow devotee of the Order of the Disc. Computer guy, Dave Matthews freak, and Simpsons Whore! Special powers include the ability to beguile with song, and shit pre-owned European sports cars. Weaknesses: Oversized puppies, and tall thin Indian women with modest acreage. Don't call him "Dan" or he'll rip your nipples off and add them to his collection. |
| Israely (Mike Israely) Mike is an odious little shit with ugly feet and hemorroids the size of tangerines. He doesn't wear pants for religious reasons, and because he never learned how. It's also no small task to find pants that will accomodate his copious... -ness! Mike's ideal job would be to administer sedative suppositories to unruly circus bears. He couldn't find Canada on a map... of Canada! so he spends most of his time screaming into mailboxes in the vain hope that someone will rub his Buddha. |
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RaV (Marek Gorecki) Have you seen this individual? He was last seen purchasing a cable modem, an intra-venous feeding system and an economy pack of adult daipers. His friends, family, skating buddies, windsurfing students, and a nascent support group of desperate women all miss him very much and nightly pray to a catalog of deities that he be returned in a... reasonable approximation of his original condition. |
| Superfoot (Anthony R. Loinaz) In the summer of 1998 Anthony was frolicking in Cascadilla gorge amid jagged rocks and the unwanted residue of civilization. He misstepped and sustained a gash in the sole of his foot, 3-inches long and through to the bone. Not availed of health insurance Mr. Loinaz filled the wound and sealed it with... superglue! (I'm not making this up). Today he is alive, and—apart from a slight contortion of the face and the inability to discern right from wrong—is quite well; so evidently it worked! |
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