Algebra Theme Park

During the early parts of 1998, I was invited by an apparition called Marios (he who inspired Cedric, and of the wispy beard like Catweazle) to visit him at his residence in Durham (the birthplace of LARP. It says here), where he had gone to terrorise the local university and study something or other to do with science. During the course of my stay, I was compelled one morning to sit in on a two-hour lecture on advanced algebra. The end result can be seen above.

I'd been assured that attending the lecture would be a useful practical experience, since I was starting university the following year and it would give me some idea what to expect. What actually happened was that after the first thirty minutes the numbers and symbols started rearranging themselves inside my head, and to my mathematically-addled brain they began to look like fairground attractions. The most worrying thing is that at the time, it made such perfect sense. See how the Lamdas and Omegas bring joy to all, said a tiny inner voice. Look at the little ones having fun. Dance for me, little ones! Dance! Dance!

Remember kids, if someone deeply strange offers to educate you on the abstract manipulation of differential calculus, just say no.

Matthew Smith

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