The Bundesbears

New for Christmas! The cuddly companions who love to hate! Join Nazi Bear™, Blackshirt Bear™ and Lynch-a-Lot Bear™ on their journey to spread the word of tolerance, inclusion and interracial harmony, and how not to achieve it. No child can resist their adorable fascist ideologies, and if they can, each Bundesbear comes with a special swastika embossed on their backside which, when pressed, summons a crack team of SS hitmen to have them shot.*

Now with realistic jackboots! (Stampable human face not included.)

*BundesCo is not liable for your child being shot.

Um...yes. As you might have gathered, I’m not a big fan of the Care Bears. I forget how it came up in conversation, but at some point I mentioned this to ace clever friend person Paul Tallon, and between us we concluded that the Care Bears were in fact the route of all evil, and the furry dayglo cuteness was nought but a chillingly calculated facade. This, we reasoned, was what the diminutive ursines would look like devoid of their kiddie-friendly disguises, and for better or worse (thunderingly worse, I suspect), I sat down and drew the thing in the space of an afternoon. From pencilling start to colour finish it took just under six hours to complete, which is easily the fastest I’ve ever drawn a full-colour picture. This probably says something deeply worrying about me as a person, but I haven’t the faintest idea what it might be. Altogether more worrying is that the one on the right does actually manage to look cute, even with the noose motif. Brrr.

I still can’t believe I drew this, to be honest. Send all complaints to msmith@riskofbeingthrottled.com.

Matthew Smith

Back to Main Page Back to Finished Art