There was absolutely nothing special about Kai… but at the same time that wasn’t entirely accurate. There was certainly nothing outstanding about him. He was as ordinary a person as ever I met. Like a personification of bread. Nothing special there. He had unremarkable light brown hair and common-looking blue eyes. His build was not overly large nor overly small. He was not especially tall or short. He was just average in every possible way. I did not know a person could be so very average. It blew my mind as effectively as a shotgun, though incredibly less messy… and the result was happily not quite so fatal.

Kai had that certain demeanor that is often described with such words as ‘smooth’, ‘melt’, and ‘butter’. Like con men who will charm their way into your heart and then rob you for all you’re worth and will just as soon slit your throat as offer you a stick of gum. There was one distinct difference, however. There was no air of evil, or unkindness, or even selfishness about him. I couldn’t for the life of me imagine him ever doing something that was entirely for his own profit. How very unlike me.

I grabbed the back of his shirt and gave a mighty tug that I might more easily whisper into his ear. He didn’t seem to mind this amount of contact and for that I must admit, I was grateful. At least he wasn’t completely beyond my understanding. “I need to serve that guy by the pink-haired chick.” I murmured. I figured I might as well go with the direct approach. What difference would it make if Kai knew I wanted to serve the oaf?

“That’s going to be fairly impossible.” he replied, in a matter-of-fact kind of way. He appeared to think this was a good conclusion to the conversation. He pulled away, seemingly interested in things other than me. How this is possible I’m not quite sure, but I’m thinking it must be a very practiced art.

“Not so fast, hot shot.” I hissed, and snatched at his shirt again.

He ducked away.

Strange and utterly goofy boy.

Before I could think of another strategy to get him to listen, Kai moved even farther from me and began serving the tables that were his responsibility. He smiled, sincerely it would seem, at his charges. I added this to the list of infinitely perplexing details about him and mechanically began doling out food.

Only two tables away Mio had the oaf laughing like a hyena. Not that I’ve ever been in the presence of a laughing hyena. But I imagine the sound was rather similar. And the way his head jerked around was distressingly painful looking, much like how a wild animal, who I shall assume up to this point has no laughing experience, might move.

Mio caught my eye. She gave me silent orders.

I gave her a look that I hoped communicated the message my middle finger currently could not.

She frowned.

Maybe my face more accurately displays detailed meanings than I give it credit for. What fun!

I threw her a sideways glance full of desperation for creamy milk chocolate, a burning desire for a mad shopping spree, and an affection for long, lazy days at the beach spent nursing strawberry daiquiris and being fawned over by dangerously exquisite cabana boys.

She didn’t react.

I couldn’t help sighing.

Despite my justified reluctance to focus on the matter at hand, I forced my mind from the path of the forbidden fruits of the hour and began plotting exactly how I was to do my duty. There seemed to be only one way. Drat blast it…

My legs moved of their own accord, which suited me just fine as I didn’t particularly want to give them the command. At least this way I could plead innocent… in an unconventional sort of way. My eyes followed Kai’s movements with an attention usually reserved for spotting perfect fashion accessories. I timed it perfectly. I’m that good. My foot caught his and we both hit the floor amid a shower of assorted dishware. I immediately jumped to my feet and began apologizing profusely to the gentleman whose slacks had been stained with the various food stuffs I’d been carrying. He just happened to be Mio’s companion. I revel in the coincidence, truly I do.

He blustered for a moment and then, after noticing my alluring beauty (which, really, no style of dress can hide) and slightly abashed though ultimately divine smile, insisted that there was little need for apology when fault clearly did not belong to me. I accepted this as fact, as did all others around us, and was properly pleased that he did not notice the small pill I dropped into his drink. Mission accomplished.

I left the dining hall with nary an ill thought.

That was probably a bad idea…