Good Princess, Bad Princess - Part 3
Zangulus descended the stairs down to Martina's Zoamelgustar shrine, holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He had combed the castle searching for her, and this was the only place she could possibly be. He became concerned when he found the room empty save for a palpable aura of magic. Zangulus suddenly became very worried. He knew enough about Martina to know that she had probably done something overly dramatic and potentially dangerous. What the hell could have happened to her? Cursing himself for not apologizing to her sooner, he went to enlist Vrumugen's help in the mystery.
* * *
"So what do you think of this new chick?" Jedite asked Nephlite as they walked down a black marble corridor of Queen Beryl's castle.
"She's been spending a lot of time with Beryl. As long as she keeps her off our backs, I'm happy."
"Actually, now that you mention it, Beryl's been in a really weird mood ever since that girl showed up."
"Yeah, she almost seems. . . happy."
"Hey, is that her?"
"Who, Queen Beryl?
"No, the weird chick from another world!"
"Shit! Let's run before she makes us play Twister with her again."
Martina sashayed happily down the cave-like hallway. Once you got used to the atmosphere, the Dark Kingdom really wasn't such a bad place. Out of the corner of her eye she thought she saw Nephlite and Jedite running away like bats out of hell. She shook her head and continued on her way, which happened to be in the direction of Queen Beryl's audience chamber. The queen had promised to let her observe her court today.
When Martina entered the cavernous chamber, all the freaky things that she'd learned were called 'youma' bowed. She strutted haughtily and took her place at Beryl's side. Beryl was sitting in a throne built into a stone platform. The back of her throne went all the way to the ceiling, and had a gruesome, toothy serpent face carved into it. She sat regally, with her witchy-looking scepter hovering in front of her.
Martina was astounded by the way Beryl commanded absolute authority over her minions. They scraped and simpered before her, cringing at her every word and withering in her gaze. No one in Zoana's court acted like that. They didn't even start to snicker or make snide remarks when Beryl looked the other way.
Martina made a mental list. Work on intimidating stare. Get an ornamental scepter that looks like it might possess terrible powers. Threaten often, and don't hesitate to have minor minions executed, preferably for completely arbitrary reasons. Beware of monsters known as 'sailor scouts'.
All in all, watching Queen Beryl work was quite an educational experience. As they exited the audience chamber, Martina found herself wondering what kind of a queen her mother had been.
"Well, Princess Martina, how are you finding my kingdom?"
"Oh, your highness, I must say that I'm very impressed. I hope that someday I'll be as ruthless a despot as you are!"
Beryl laughed. Martina didn't notice the shocked expressions on the faces of the attendants. Beryl only laughed when she had a new evil plan or when she was having someone tortured.
Martina joined Beryl for a drink at the queen's private wetbar. It was the second biggest liquor stash in the Negaverse.
"Sho tell me about Zhoana," slurred the queen, who was well on her way to becoming sloshed.
"Well, I was daddy's chief advisor. I let him handle all of the minor little issues, but he lets me make all of the big decisions. I was the head of national security, and as soon as he signs the law declaring Zoamelgustarism the state religion, I'll be the high priestess too."
"How would you like to be my advizhur?"
"OH, Queen Beryl, it would be an honor!"
"You know, you remind me a lot of myself when I was your age. That was such a long time ago. The Negaverse was at the height of its glory and I had the world at my feet. I trashed the Moon Kingdom. I kicked sooo much ass! But then fate spit right in my eye. That prissy wench Queen Serenity pulled a stunt that sent all of her precious girlscouts to a whole new millenium and sealed my most powerful warriors away!"
"Cheer up, queenie. You should be happy for what you've got. If I had a cool lair and gorgeous guys working under me I'd be satisfied."
Beryl snickered. "I bet."
Martina snickered. "That did sound bad, didn't it?"
"Seriously though, I'm not interested in the slightest in any of those dorks. Having them as minions is bad enough, I wouldn't dream of having them as boyfriends," Beryl's expression darkened. "No, there's only one guy for me. The one that got away."
"Oooo, tell me about him!"
"Mmmm, his name was Prince Endymion. He was such a hottie. Young, black hair, perfect teeth, really nice ass. Really, really nice ass."
"Is that him in that portrait over there in the heart-shaped frame?"
"Yeah. Would you like another martina, martini. . . martini, martinia. . . "
"Uh, sure."
"OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
"Beryl, what's wrong?!"
"I'm out of olives!" she wailed. "Quick, your first official mission as my deputy minion is to go get some!"