The Mazoku Horror Picture Show

    It was a dark and soon-to-be stormy night.  Martina staggered maladroitly forward under the weight of the little boy she was carrying piggyback.  At least, she guessed it was a little boy.  It was a bit iffy, but it would be impolite to ask.  She'd been carrying him for quite a while.  Her limbs screamed their protest with every step, but she didn't care.  All she could think about was catching up with Lina.

    "Faster! Faster!  Hee hee!" cheered the lord of the damned, the scourge of the gods, he who considered human souls to be his toys.  Hellmaster Phibrizzo was positively giddy.  Hours ago he never would have thought that his diabolical scheme to destroy the world would entail getting a piggyback ride.

    Thunder cracked so loudly it hurt their ears.

    "Yeaaach!"  A sudden deluge of rain caught Martina by surprise, causing her to nearly drop the little boy.  She skidded to a halt.  The little boy released his hold on her bizarrely mismatched shoulderguards and dropped to the muddy ground beside her.

    "Are you all right?" Martina cooed down at him.

    Phibrizzo glowered.  This sucked.  He added really cold rain to his list of things he hated about the world.  They would never catch up to Lina Inverse in this weather.  "Owww, what are we going to do now, Miss?" he whined as he snuggled up to her, taking shelter under her cape.

    "Oh, don't you worry. The awesome power of Zoamelgustar will tell us where to go!"  Martina withdrew her Zoamelgustar talisman from braspace.  She dangled it from the end of a chain and waited for it to start swinging.  And waited.  And waited.

    "Uh, Miss, it's not. . ."  

    Lightning struck very nearby.

    "Screw it.  Let's just go back to that castle we passed earlier."

    "Kay."

    * * * *

    They approached the castle, guided by the light coming from the windows.  It was the spooky-looking gothic sort of castle, perfectly suited to being encountered on dark, stormy nights such as this.

*And so it would seem that fortune smiled on Martina and Phibrizzo, and that they had found the assistance that their plight required.  Or had they?*

    Martina rang the doorbell.  The door creaked as it swung open slowly.

    A man wearing a butler's uniform opened the door.  He had spiky green hair, greenish skin, and bad posture.  "Hello," he said.

    Martina blushed and her eyes went big.  "Well hello there."

    Kanzel noticed Hellmaster Phibrizzo standing beside the strangely-dressed girl.  

    Phibrizzo noticed Kanzel noticing him.  He glared menacingly, drawing a finger across his neck.  "Hi!  I'm just a cute and innocent child who's been caught in this terrible storm with my dear big sister!" he said, smiling.

    Kanzel quaked in fear.  "You're wet.  I think you'd better both come inside."

    Martina appraised the interior.  "This is probably some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdoes. . ."  She became aware of the sounds of cacophony coming from the next room.  "Are you having a party?"

    "You've arrived on a rather special night.  It's one of the master's affairs."

    "Lucky him," groused Phibrizzo.

    A red-haired woman in maid's attire came sliding backwards down the banister.  "You're lucky!  He's lucky!  We're all lucky!" Mazenda the domestic cackled.

    Kanzel felt a song cue coming on.  "It's astounding.  Time is fleeting . . ."

    Martina and Phibrizzo looked around the room to see where the background music was coming from.

    Kanzel flung open the doors to the ballroom.  The crowd within sang out in unison, "LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!"

    Martina and Phibrizzo were treated to quite a spectacle.  The guest list read like 'Who's who among mazoku'.  Among the partygoers Phibrizzo recognized were Beastmaster Zellas and Xellos, Deep Sea Dolphin, Dynast and Sherra, and all seven pieces of Shabranigdo.  All were similarly attired in tuxes, top hats, and masks; and all were engaged in a strange little dance that involved a jump to the left and then a step to the right.

    Seygram, wearing a glittery gold top hat, lifted up his cloak to reveal black hose and tap shoes.  He then demonstrated his closet talent in a little solo dance number.  

    When the song ended, everyone fell faint to the floor.  The insanity left the room with an audible whoosh.

    "Miss please, let's get out of here!" Phibrizzo cried, tugging at Martina's cape.

    The two of them backed slowly towards the door.

    "I'm scared!" squealed the Hellmaster.  In all his existence he had never witnessed such a disturbing display of mass hysteria.

    "Don't worry," Martina said, hoping to sound reassuring.

   Behind them, the screen door of an elevator opened.  They turned to see their exit blocked by a large red-haired man with large red eyebrows.  He was ugly as sin, and the fact that he was clad in a pearl necklace, black corset, black gloves, garter belt, fishnet hose, and high-heeled shoes didn't make him any easier to look at.

   A very traumatized Phibrizzo dropped to his knees screaming and clawing at his face. "AAAAAARGH!  MY EYES!  MY EYES!"

   Martina shrieked in horror, grabbed the little boy, and made her own exit in the nearest wall.  No one as determined to escape as she needs an actual door.

   Gaav sniffled.  "I didn't even get to do my song. . ."