Title: Realizations (1/4)
Author: Reatha
Email: spikes_witch@WitchesBrew.zzn.com
Rating: PG-15 (about)
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just put them in a
blender and mix.
Distribution: If you have my stuff, it's yours....if
not, let me know....
Summary: Things come to a head. Sequel to What?!?!
Spoilers: Something Blue....and that's about it.
Notes: Well, it's finally done. I have no plans for
another after this, but who knows..... depends on the
mood I'm in. Also, I tried to keep this PG, cause this
is full of plot. (It takes talent to make a random PWP
into a three part, plot-filled story...right??
right??????)
Also, I must apologize to all the W/S shippers out
there, who were hoping and waiting anxiously for some
W/S in this part....I just couldn't see Angelus
sharing...;Ţ
Feedback: Love it. (If you could send it off list,
that would be preferable, cause I'm getting everything
in digest version....but it doesn't really matter.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 1

He was coming for her. She could feel it. The waves of
anger, possessiveness and lust melded together in her
mind, creating a similar response withing her own
body. He was hers! And he'd left her. He would pay for
that. The thoughts of how she would make him pay, sent
surges of lust through her body, pooling between her
thighs.

Turning a corner on the dark streets, she caught sight
of him. He was absolutely breath-taking. All dark and
dangerous and covered in blood. As their eyes met, the
world faded away into oblivion. There was no more
fighting, no more distance separating them, and no
more Slayer to stand in their way. But most of all,
there was no more soul in him, obscuring her memory
from his mind.

He was here. They could finally be together.

Closing the distance between them, she opened her arms
and heart, accepting all he was. Accepting the brutal,
possessive kiss, plundering each others mouths as they
were reunited after all this time apart.

With a growl, he lifted her slightly off the ground
and moved to the brick wall off to the side, slamming
her into the hard surface. But she didn't care. It had
been so long since she'd held him, that nothing else
mattered. Not that he was evil. Not that he'd
eventually turn her, making her into what he was - a
cold blooded, sadistic killer.

And not that he was covered in the blood of her
friends, their bodies scattered around them in the
dark.

She didn't care. All she could think about was this
man. This vampire who was hers. Her mate.

Lifting her legs, she wrapped them around his waist,
pulling his body in closer to hers. Closer to her
heat. He growled against her lips before moving to the
large vein in her neck, his canines scrapping across
the soft, pale skin, earning moans and whimpers from
the red head in h is arms. Not able to stand the
separation, he sunk his fangs deeply into her neck,
placing his mark on her again, as he'd done all those
weeks ago.

Feeling the familiar pain of his sharp teeth piercing
her flesh, she cried out his name in ecstasy.

"Angelus!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Angelus!" cried Willow, arching her back, lifting her
body off the mattress beneath her, waking up. Her
entire body was dampened by sweat, and a familiar heat
had gathered between her legs.

Willow was vaguely aware of the bedroom door opening,
and a lean figure quickly making it's way towards the
bed. Her body was on fire for her mate, demanding his
presence beside her.

A pair of strong arms gathered her close, soothing
sounds emerging from his mouth. The presence calmed
her for a few seconds, until her body realized that
while it was similar to the one she craved, it was not
him.

A shudder tore through her body as she buried her face
in his cold and still chest. The sorrow she kept at
bay during the day came out full force at night.

"Another dream, luv?" asked Spike, rubbing circles on
the back of the now-sobbing red head in his arms. Her
silent nod was his only answer, and made him tighten
his arms around her. He knew he wasn't the one she
wanted, and silently cursed his sire for the hell he
was putting the little witch through.

After she'd released him from his chains, Willow had
fought her friends for his freedom, and eventually won
it. So he'd moved out of the Watcher's place, and into
a large house of his own, using the money he'd
accumulated over the last 126 years. It was one of the
things Angelus had taught him - plan for your future.
"You're going to be alive for awhile, and you're going
to need money to live off of." he'd told Spike. It's
one of the things the blonde really despised about
Angel. He had all this money saved away, yet he
wouldn't touch it because it had been accumulated by
Angelus, in his pre-curse days.

About a week after his freedom was granted, the group
had realized that something was wrong with Willow. She
was jumpy, irritable, edgy and cried herself to sleep
most nights. Buffy had even awoken to the girl's
sobbing some nights. All this had taken it's toll on
Willow, too. Spike was the only one she could talk to
about how she was feeling, and surprisingly, he made
her feel better. It was then that the two of them
realized that she wasn't as bad when she was with
Spike.

The blonde vampire had said it had something to do
with the fact that her mate was his sire. Since
Angelus wasn't there, she had been using Spike's
presence as a substitute for Angelus'.

So they moved in together.

That caused chaos among the Scooby gang, as they were
convinced Spike had dome something to her. But their
arguments stopped once they realized that Willow was
back to her old self. But that didn't mean their
suspicions disappeared. They were all convinced that
Spike had done something to her (except for Anya, who
couldn't care less if the witch was sleeping with a
demon), put her under some sort of spell so he could
get at her. Everyone seemed convinced that they were
sleeping together. As if that were the only reason
they'd be living together.

They couldn't have been further from the truth. While
they did sleep in the same bed most nights, there was
nothing remotely sexual about their relationship. One
reason, was that Willow's mind rarely left thoughts of
Angelus, and Spike knew that when Angelus came back
for his mate, if he even suspected that Spike had
touched her, the blonde vampire would be dust before
he could do more than blink. And Angelus would come
back, of that he had no doubt. His sire would lose his
soul and come for his mate. He just hoped it would be
soon.

For these dreams of Willow's were getting worse and
more frequent. She would wake up in the middle of the
night, crying out for her mate. When she realized he
wasn't there, didn't even remember her, Spike would
hold her as she sobbed out her anguish.

"Spike." came her soft query, drawing him out of his
thoughts. Her crying had stopped for the moment.

"Yes, pet?"

"I can't do this anymore." she told him quietly. The
dreams were affecting her in ways she couldn't
explain, but that wasn't everything. She needed him.
Needed Angelus. The hole in her heart had grown,
encompassing her entire being. She felt alone and
empty, missing her other half. Willow knew that if it
weren't for Spike, she'd have gone mad long before
now, but she also knew it wouldn't last. She would
pray for each day to be over, so she could return to
Spike's side, but even his presence was starting to
lose it's effectiveness. She needed Angelus, and
didn't care about the consequences.

"I want my Angelus back." she continued. They'd talked
about it several times, but Willow had always been
opposed to the idea of bringing Angelus back. She
hadn't wanted to hurt Buffy by taking away the man she
loved, even if they couldn't be together. Willow
didn't care anymore. The need for her mate was too
strong, and it overwhelmed everything else.

Sighing in relief, Spike gave in and smiled for the
first time in days. He was tired of trying to be a
substitute for his sire, tired of being unable to ease
the torment of the slight girl in his arms. Tired of
picking up the pieces, every time Angel regained his
damn soul.

"Drusilla's in San Francisco. I'm sure she knows a way
to remove a soul." he told her. "If I leave now, I can
be there before sunrise." he continued.

"You're just looking for an excuse to go see her
again, are you?" she said, smiling into his chest. No
matter what Spike might say or do, he was still madly
in love with the insane vampire.

"So! What if I am?!" he asked indignantly.

"Just making sure." she mumbled, the strain and
sleeplessness of the past few weeks causing the red
head to fall asleep again fairly quickly.

"I'll see you in day or two." he told her, moving the
sleeping witch off his chest and under the covers.
Bending down, he kissed her forehead gently before
leaving the room.

He had a fair drive ahead of him, and wanted to get
started.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2

Buffy made her way into the house, calling out to her
friend as she walked around the main floor. She'd
received a 2:00 am visit from Spike, which was the
only reason she was there. He'd woken her up in the
middle of the night, to ask her to look in on Willow
while he went on a little trip. So, while Buffy
couldn't understand why Willow was living with Spike,
she wouldn't turn her back on her. Couldn't. Willow
was her best friend. No matter what.

So here she was, walking around Spike and Willow's
house, looking for her friend. Willow hadn't made it
to classes that day, and Buffy had gotten worried, so
she'd used the key Spike had given her to check on the
red head.

Moving up the stairs, the blonde Slayer headed for the
bedrooms. She'd been here before and knew where Willow
slept. Opening the door, she stopped and gasped at
what she saw.

On the bed was a sweat-soaked, flushed red head, the
sheets kicked down to the end of the bed. Her crimson
hair was plastered to her head, and her chest was
rising and falling with her panting breaths. But what
shocked and scared Buffy the most, were the faint bite
marks along her throat, that were exposed by the
low-cut tank top she wore to bed the night before.

Loudly cursing Spike and all vampires and demons,
Buffy spun around and raced downstairs to call her
Watcher.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike pulled into the driveway late that same night.
He was tired and hungry, and worried about Willow. And
by the looks of his travelling companion, so was
Drusilla.

He'd arrived in San Francisco around dawn, and stayed
in his car all day, waiting for sunset. He didn't want
to leave Willow alone for too long, so he'd spent his
time looking for Drusilla. Surprisingly, she'd been
waiting for him, and didn't put up a fight. She'd said
something about him smelling all ‘sweet and sticky'
but that it was all right, because she was their new
‘mummy'. Spike didn't care. All he knew was that he
had his Dark Princess back.

The whole way back, Drusilla kept rambling on about
them being a family agian, and he knew she would
accept Willow. Had already accepted her.

As he pulled the black DeSoto into the garage, he
couldn't help but notice the lights on in the house,
as well as the presence of the Slayer, some humans and
his Poof of a sire. Sighing in resignation, he told
Drusilla to go around the back, and up the stairs to
the second floor. He didn't feel like explaining why
the dark haired vampire was there, and since he owned
the house, Drusilla didn't need an invitation. His
Princess could sneak up to see the red head without
their knowledge.

Stepping out of the car, he watched the slim form of
his Princess as she disappeared into the dark, before
making his way inside. He was worried about Willow,
and knew the only reason they would all be there was
if the Slayer had found something when she came to
check up on the witch. Spike just hoped it wasn't too
late.

Striding through the door, he didn't glance at the
others, but made a bee-line for Angel. Not stopping or
even pausing, his hand came up, punching Angel across
the face, knocking him back a few paces. They'd
discovered weeks ago that Spike couldn't harm any
living creature, but unliving ones.... That was a
whole new ball game.

Spike quickly made it past all the shocked, angry and
surprised people in the living room and up the stairs
before anyone gathered themselves together and raced
up after him. The Slayer and her friends arrived in
time to see him lay on the bed and gather the limp red
head up in his arms. Gently waking her, he did what
had become second nature to him: holding her close to
his chest, while rubbing circles on her back and
making soothing sounds. Everyone was quite surprised
to see Willow come out from her trance-like state.
They'd been very worried when she wouldnt' wake up,
and kept dreaming what they believed to be horrible
dreams, if her thrashing and whimpering were any
indication.

"Spike?" came Willow's soft whisper, as she was taken
from her dreams. Dreams of Angelus and having him
back. She could remember on after the other, all
pilling on tope of each others, one dream starting
right after another. She knew the dreams weren't real,
but at least she wasn't overwhelmed by the sorrow and
anguish she felt when awake. In her dreams, Willow
almost felt complete again.

Reality came crashing back with consciousness, and
sobs began to wrack her body. She was totally
oblivious to the gawking observers who had piled into
the room, racing after the blonde vampire. Willow was
so consumed by her emptiness, that she didn't hear
Spike's growl of "Get out!", or see him glare at each
one of her friends, promising a slow and painful death
if they didn't leave.

Angel was the last to leave, barely able to take his
eyes off the red head on the bed. When he'd gotten
Giles' call about Willow and Spike, something he
couldn't explain overcame him. Or rather, overcame his
demon. It started rattling around inside of him. Ever
since The Day, as he called it, it had been getting
harder and harder to control it. He'd been fighting
the pull to come back to Sunnydale for almost a month
now. The glare he received from Spike, full of hatred
and anger, finally drove him out of the room and
downstairs with the rest of the group, where he tried
to find out why seeing Spike hold Willow affected him
so much.

Finally seeing Angel leave, Spike relaxed some,
tightening his hold on the red head in his arms.

"Daddy's hurting the Little Tree." came Drusilla's sad
comment from the shadows.

"Yes, luv. He is." replied Spike, running his hand
over Willow's damp hair.

"Why?" came her confused question. The insane vampire
crawled onto the large bed, laying down on the other
side of Willow.

"He doesn't remember her, pet. She'd Angelus' mate,
but his soul's blocking the memories." explained the
blonde vampire.

"Bad Daddy." pouted the raven haired vampire.

"Drusilla?" queried Willow, turning her head and
lifting red-rimmed eyes to the pale skinned figure
next to her.

"Yes, Mummy. I'm here." she said softly, a cold hand
brushing the hair away from Willow's flushed face.

"Bring him back." she said. "Make us a family."

A respectful and understanding nod was her only
response, as the insane creature of the night accepted
the request. She would do everything in her power to
bring her Daddy back and make them into a family.

Part 3

"What's going on?" asked Buffy as the group entered
the living room after being banished from the bedroom
by Spike. "What did he do to her?"

"She's been marked." said Angel, the last to enter.
Everyone spun around at his comment, looking for an
explanation. "Claimed as a mate by a vampire."

"What?!" cried out several shocked and angry voices.

"Why would Spike want to....to ‘claim' Willow?" asked
a dense Xander, tightening his hold on his
girlfriend's hand. The looks he received from the
occupants of the room made him pause and think over
his last statement. "Oh...Oh! Ewww!" he cried out as
realization flooded his mind.

"It's not Spike." said Angel quietly.

"What do you mean? She'd been living here for the past
month!" cried out the Slayer. Her best friend was in
trouble and there wasn't a damn thing she could do to
help - short of staking the blonde vamp.

"Willow's been mated, but not to Spike." explained the
souled vampire. "The separation between her and her
mate is the problem."

"So what you're saying, is that Willow is bonded to a
vampire, who isn't around, and that is what is causing
her...distress." clarified Giles slowly.

"That's what the Poof said." drawled Spike, striding
into the room. He'd heard what Angel had told the
group, and upon realizing the big secret was out,
decided to drop another bomb on the pack.

Of course, he was going to have some fun, first. It
was the least Angel deserved.

"Spike!" growled Angel, turning to his blonde childe.
"Why did you let her get so bad?" he demanded. There
were several roads he could have taken in regards to
Willow's present situation, but doing nothing didn't
seem like Spike's style.

"Let her!?" shouted Spike indignantly. "If it weren't
for me, the little witch would be totally round the
bend by now!"

"You could have done something to fix it!" growled the
souled vampire.

"Like what?" Spike wanted to know, as both vampires
became oblivious to the silent and shocked observers
in the room with them. "I had 2 bloody options: kill
the wanker that did this to her, or claim her myself.
Well, the witch wouldn't let me kill him, and I'd be
dust with either way, if I tried to claim her, wither
from the Slayer or the bloody git who mated with her
in the first place!"

A stunned silence met his outburst.

"Who?" asked Angel roughly. "Who claimed her? Why
isn't he here?"

"Why do I get to play storyteller tonight?" muttered
Spike under his non-existent breath, hating Angel more
and more everyday. Sitting down in one of the plush
chairs Willow had insisted they have, Spike waited
until they all followed suit before beginning.

"Well, ladies and gents - and I do use the term
loosely - here goes. Remember that little spell out
fair hacker performed over a month ago?" he asked, a
look of disgust overcoming his face as he, himself
remembered with horror the effects of that spell.
"Seems Red made some comment about getting her own
vampire, as the Slayer seems to attract all sorts.
Problem was, she named a specific vamp and got her
wish!"

"Who?" chocked out Xander, terrified that his best
friend was involved with a vampire.

"I'm getting to that, you twit!" snarled Spike. Out of
everyone in the room - including Angel - he hated
Xander the most. Though Anya wasn't all that bad, he
amended.

"Anyways, this vamp comes, shags her senseless, claims
he and them promptly forgets about her, leaving the
little witch with only half of herself."

"How could one of us possibly forget claiming a mate?"
asked Angel, horrified.

"You tell me, mate." said Spike in a hard voice, his
own blue eyes borring into his sire's chocolate brown
ones.

"You mean...Angel..." stammered the Slayer, the first
to be able to form a coherent sentence out of the
stunned group. Buffy couldn't understand why Angel
would do something like that, let alone to her best
friend, and then wipe the experience from his memory.

"Not Peaches, here, you twat!" growled Spike, barely
glancing at the stunned blonde. "Angelus!"

"Oh dear lord." gasped Giles, sinking further into his
chair as the situation made itself painfully clear in
the Watcher's mind.

"The day I don't remember...." trailed off a horrified
Angel. Raising his eyes, he met those of the person
he'd inadvertently caused so much pain.

"That's right, Soulboy." announced Willow as she came
into the room. She seemed almost normal, if you
ignored the way-revealing clothing, and her hard,
hate-filled eyes directed at the souled vampire.
"Angelus came back here, claimed me and then left with
the approaching sun. he would have stayed if he knew
YOU weren't coming back. But you did. And he left,
leaving me in torment."

The red head continued speaking as she closed in on
the stunned vampire. "How does it feel, Angel?" she
began to taunt him. "How does it feel to know that you
did this to me? Not Angelus, but YOU! If you hadn't
come back, we'd be together, and this last month of
HELL wouldn't have happened?"  Ending her tirade in a
screaming voice, Willow's fragile hold on her emotions
snapped, and she began to sob. Deep wracking sobs that
made the tears she'd cried over Oz, pale in
comparison.

Spike came up behind the red head, putting his arms
around her and pulling the sobbing human against his
chest, all the while glaring at his sire.

"Willow....I'm _so_ sorry." Not knowing where to
begin, Angel stretched out a hand, barely brushing her
shoulder.

"Sorry?!" snapped a furious Willow as she spun around,
slapping Angel's hand out of the way. Her angry eyes
glittered with rage. "I don't give a damn if you're
‘sorry'! I just want Angelus back!" she spat.

Advancing upon the dark vampire, his eyes full of
sorrow and guilt, Willow gripped the back of his head
with one hand, while the other dug into his shoulder.
Bringing his head down, ear level with her mouth, she
let loose a vicious snarl.

"If I don't have my mate back soon, I will personally
tear your soul away form you; piece by piece; until
you're begging me to release Angelus!" adding another
growl and a lick to her low warning, Willow set the
vampire free.

Angel, meanwhile, was stunned. This tiny red head was
truly a match for Angelus. And the demon knew it. It
was raging against the prison of his soul, roaring in
triumph.

He knew what Willow meant, too. At any given moment,
he could open the cage - let the demon out. His soul
would be pushed to the back of his consciousness,
locked in it's own prison. This one controlled by the
demon.

"Willow-" began Xander, only to be interrupted by the
red head.

"Get out!" she said harshly, not even looking at any
of her friends, instead walking out of the room. "And
I don't want to see any of you again until Angelus is
back."

"He'll kill us all." stated Giles, shocked at Willow's
lack of concern for her friends.

Stopping at the doorway, Willow spoke in a pained
voice, never turning around.

"You think I don't know that?" she asked. "It's taken
me over a month to get to this point. But right now I
feel _so_ empty and lonely, that I don't care anymore.
I need him."

With that, the red head left the room to join Dru
upstairs, leaving Spike to throw the group out.

Part 4

It had been days since the confrontation in the living
room. Giles, Buffy and Xander had come by several
times, trying to talk to Willow, only to be banned by
Spike.

While the blonde vampire was guarding the house
against unwanted Slayerettes, Willow and Dru searched
for some way to rid Angel of his pesky soul. And they
found it.

The spell made a person's deepest fantasy come true,
and it was so real, that they wouldn't even realize it
was a dream.

If Angel didn't achieve his moment of true happiness,
then something was seriously wrong with him - or the
spell just didn't work.

So Willow and Dru performed the it 2 days later. The
energies couldn't have been more perfect. The moon was
full and the brightest it had been in over 100 years.
Add to that the fact that it was also the first day of
the winter solstice, and you got some powerful
energies at your fingertips.

Both were sure that the spell had been cast properly,
so all they had to do was wait for Angelus to arrive.
But as the days past, with no sign of her mate, Willow
grew more depressed, especially with the arrival of
Christmas. (What no one had ever realized about
Willow, was that she loved Christmas. For the past few
years, she had put up a small tree in her room, being
sure to hide it from ALL visitors, as people would be
shocked to know that Willow Rosenberg was a closet
Christmas junkie.) So the three of them decorated the
house with lights and ribbons and other Christmas-y
things. They even bought each other presents.
Unbeknownst to Willow, Spike and Dru also bought
presents for Angelus, positive he would show up in
short order.

Christmas Eve was an ordeal for Willow. She put on a
happy face, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. She
missed her mate. Needed him. And he wasn't anyplace to
be found. That night, she cried herself to sleep, as
she had so many times in the past.
~~~~~~~~~~~

she was dreaming again. She had to be, because reality
was never this delicious.

A mouth was moving over hers, evoking sensations she
hadn't felt in awhile. A cold tongue penetrated past
her warm lips, to sweep inside the hot cavern of her
mouth, sending bolts of lust to certain areas of her
body. Hands were moving all over her body, as iv
reacquainting themselves with her form.

"Willow." whispered a deep voice in her ear, bringing
her out of her deep and pleasant slumber. Opening her
eyes slowly, she saw the last person she expected, yet
he was the one she most craved.

Angelus. Her mate.

"A dream...." whispered Willow back, praying that this
would be reality, and she wouldn't wake up to the
hollow feeling in her heart.

"It's not a dream, Little One." he murmured, a small
smirk curving his luscious lips.

"Really?" she asked, unable to keep the hope and joy
from her voice. "You're really real?" She was _so_
going to do something nasty to someone, if this turned
out to be a dream.

His slight chuckle was her answer. "Merry Christmas,
Red." he said in his deep voice, before making sure
she had better things to do with her mouth than answer
back.

End.