Babysitting
“Come on, Robbie! Go to sleep!”Xander begged as he shook his godson. He looked at Angel desperately.”Is Kitty at least ready to go to sleep?”
Angel shook his head as he took in the crying face of Buffy and Spike’s daughter.“She’s not even trying. Is he changed?”
“After that long squirt in my face? What do you think?”Xander scowled at Angel.”That he was watering the roses? Is Kitty hungry?”
“I tried feeding her, she spit out the milk,”Angel said as he indicated to the huge white stain on his silk shoulder.”And I rocked her, but that doesn’t seem to be doing anything.”
“Well, you want to try and tell them a story?” Xander asked desperately as he patted Robbie’s back in an effort to comfort him. Angel shrugged as he sat on the rocking chair.
After thinking about a story, Angel started,“Once upon a time, there was a beautiful Slayer that lived in a very bad place called Sunnydale.”
“This had better not be a depressing story,”Xander growled.”Remember what Buffy said.”
“Who’s telling the story?”Angel demanded.”Anyway, there was this beautiful Slayer that lived in a very bad place called Sunnydale. She lived there with her mother and made some friends there.”
“Whose names were Giles, Cordelia, Willow, Xander and Oz,”Xander interjected.”Is she asleep?”
Angel shook his head.”Then she met this very handsome fellow who soon fell in love with her as soon as he saw her.”
Xander rolled his eyes.”This is *definitely* going to be a depressing story.”
Angel glared at Xander, but continued.“Anyway, after many adventures together, the Slayer finally fell in love with this fellow, but then this demon came into town.”
“And what was his name, Spike?”Xander snorted. Angel glared at Xander again, who missed it because Robbie started fidgeting in his arms.
“No, his name was Whistler. Well, then, Whistler took the handsome fellow away to another bad place called Los Angeles. And while he was gone, a demented wizard called Spike came to Sunnydale and cast a love spell on the beautiful Slayer, and they got married, much to the heartbreak of the handsome fellow that still loves her,”Angel finished.”The End.”
“That was a dumb story,”Xander scoffed again.”And it was depressing. Did you have to tell about Buffy and Spike’s courtship?”
Angel rolled his eyes.”Then how about this? After a while, the love spell wore off and the Slayer divorced the demented wizard and then married the handsome fellow that loves her.”
“Is that handsome fellow you?”Xander asked suspiciously.
Angel smirked at him.”Nope. It could be either you or me. That’s why I only said ‘the handsome fellow that loves her,’dufus.”
“Fine, but these little munchkins are still awake. Maybe we should sing a song to them.”
Angel shrugged.”Why not?”
“I heard you were leaving,
Someone swept your heart away.”
“Whoa, whoa. Time out. Brannigan’s ‘How Am I Supposed to Live Without You’ is *not* a happy song.”
“Fine, then you sing one, Mr. Critc,”Angel snarled back. Then he quieted when Kitty started to cry again.
Xander thought again and then sighed. He started to then sing happily.
“From the hall of Montazuma,
To the shores of Tripoli.
I will fight my country’s battles,
From air or land and sea-”
“Stop!”Angel shouted, then immediately lowered his voice.”I don’t think that Buffy wants us to sing them war songs no matter how happy sounding they are, got it Xander?”
“Fine, then you try again,”Xander groused. Angel thought again, and then sang in a flat voice.
”You are my sunshine.
My only sunshine.
You make me happy~
When skies are grey.
Please don’t take my sunshine away.”
Xander stared at the vampire.”That was pathetic.Do you have any *other* happy song in your repertoire?”
“No,”Angel retorted.”It was the only song that I could remember that was even remotely happy. She forbade me to sing depressing songs to them.”
“And Spike threatened to dust you if you sang anymore of those Irish lost love ballads,”Xander smirked. “Well, these two nightbirds are still awake, so we gotta sing them something.”
“Like what? I don’t know many happy songs,”Angel groused. Xander looked around the room for inspiration. Then his eyes rested on the variety of Disney videos that Willow and Oz bought for the twins.
“How about Beauty and the Beast?”Xander asked and then broke into song.
“Tale as old as time...
Beautiful as it could be...
Barely even friends...
Then somebody bends, unexpectedly...”
Angel sang the next lines as he rocked Kitty.
“Just a little change...
Small to say the least...
Both a little scared...
Neither one prepared...
Beauty and the Beast...”
Then as they finished the song together, Spike looked at the two males increduously.”I cannot believe that you two wankers are singing LOVE songs to each other in front of my children!”
Startled, Xander nearly dropped Robbie as Angel sprung to his feet, jostling Kitty.”Now look what you did! They’re both awake!”
Spike took his daughter from Angel’s arms.“There, there, Kitten. Daddy’s here, baby. I won’t let the mean old, ugly Angel scare you anymore.”
Angel snorted at that.”Then you can try and put Catherine to sleep.”
“What the hell,”Spike said furiously, then he corrected himself,”I mean, what the heck, are you doing here?”
“Buffy and Giles went to go fight a demon. Willow and Oz had to go see his Mom since she was taken to the hospital for an emergency,and could you possible see Cordy babysitting these two?”Xander said as he rocked Robbie.
Spike shrugged.”So then why aren’t they asleep? What the heck is that on your shoulder?”
“Catherine didn’t want milk. Better than the squirting that Xander got from Robbie. Anyway, maybe they’re nightbirds like their parents,”Angel shrugged. Spike sighed.
“Well, they were about to sleep, until Spike boy came here and made us jostle them,”Xander groused again.”Might as well start singing again.”
“And only the lullabies will work?”
“Fine. Let’s sing them something. Buffy usually says that oldies songs work, so let’s sing one,”Spike sighed. And after much debate, the three men sang a song in which they knew most of the lyrics.
“My boyfriend’s back and you’re gonna be sorry!
Ay-la! Ay-la! My boyfriend’s back!
What made you think that he’d believe all your lies?
Wha-oo! Wha-oo!
You’re a big man now,
But he’ll cut you down to size!
Wha-oo! Wha-oo!
Wait and see!”
Buffy looked at the three men singing the mangled song to her children. When they finished, she knocked on the door. As their startled faces grew into various shades of red, she asked,”Is there anything that you three guys want to tell me about yourselves?”
The End.