Warning: contains very minor spoilers for "Fair Haven"
Disclaimer: The Star Trek universe belongs to Paramount. The original characters contained in this work of fanfiction are the sole and single property of me.
Feedback is always welcome,
by ragpants, February 2000
"Sir," James's voice came clearly over the intercom, "Lt. Papandropoulis is here to see you."
Captain Agnes Kazeen momentarily forgot she had turned off video reception in her office and nodded. Belatedly realizing that her receptionist couldn't see her, she ordered, "Send him right in." She purposefully blanked the document she was working on and buzzed the waiting officer into her office. She folded her hands calmly on the edge of her desk and schooled her face into a neutral expression habitual to intelligence officers.
"You've finished your analysis of Operation Moral Majority?" she asked.
"I have," replied Lt. Papandropoulis .
"Encrypted?" she asked, reaching for the report chip her subordinate
held in his hand.
"Level four-C security encoded."
Kazeen nodded approval and gestured for the lieutenant to take a seat.
"Before I read the report, Georg, would you hit hit the highlights for me? Did the trojan horse work as well as we'd hoped?"
The lieutenant's handsome swarthy face split into a dazzling grin that made Kazeen wish she were 15 years younger and male since Georg was an avowed homosexual. "Better."
"Success rate?"
"Something close to 62%."
"Astounding," Kazeen agreed, wondering if she could somehow finagle the department into springing for a whole body transplant. The Tinlac body sculptors of Alpha Beta C were doing simply phenomenal work with forced cloning and engrammatic imprinting these days. She'd read a copy of an internal memo from the department's head undercover agent handler just the other day. Kazeen suspected that very soon now it would be SOP for all deep cover espionage plants. "Details."
Georg flushed under Kazeen's obvious approval. "Voyager's database has been forcibly accessed 762 times by non-Federation sources in the Delta Quadrant during the past 6 years. Of those downloads, 702, or 92% contained the targeted materials."
"Just as we'd hoped, " Kazeen beamed at her confederate.
"Precisely, " Papandropoulis beamed back. "And of those technological civilizations who attempted to use the stolen data, 433 suffered adverse social ramifications. For example, the Kazon, who were a fragmented society in the first place, experienced increasing internal social chaos as groups began to hoard materials and information, thus leading to total collapse of their space travel industry. The Hirogen, after being assimilating the target material, sacrificed their internal solidarity and pursuit of military conquest as societal goals in favor of greater materialism. Martial effectiveness was replaced by rampant consumerism."
"Thus rendering them as null threats to the Federation. " The security Captain was all smiles.
"It gets better, " Papandropoulis confided, letting his voice slide down into throaty intimate range. Kazeen began mentally composing her request to volunteer for the Tinlac's experimental procedure. "The funny forehead aliens proved especially vulnerable."
"Which funny forehead aliens? The ones that look like a cross between an Bajoran and bagpipe? Or the ones with blue soup spoons glued between their eyebrows? Or the ones with the really ugly clarinet holes drilled into their noses?"
The young lieutenant frowned thoughtfully for a moment. "Does it really matter?"
Now it was the Captain's turn to frown thoughtfully. " I guess not. One funny forehead alien is as bad as another. I'm always shocked, shocked, to learn that these people never invented plastic surgery. But I digress... Please go on."
"As I was saying," the lieutenant swung a slightly reproachful glance at
his commanding officer. "The funny forehead aliens suffered a complete
and total societal and economic collapse as a direct result of viewing
the target materials which they hacked out of Voyager's database. There
is no other possible explanation for the moral decay and eventual
failure of their empire..."
"Thus rendering them null threats to the Federation's security," a very smug Captain finished the lieutenant's sentence.
Kazeen rose from her chair and moved around her desk to lay a gender neutral and Fleet approved 'job well done' hand on the handsome officer's shoulder. She gave it a level 2 affectionate squeeze before removing her hand after 9.2 seconds of appropriate contact. Any longer would subject her to a potential claim of sexual harassment. "I'll be sure to to give you all due credit when I hand on the report to the Committee, " Kazeen assured her subordinate as he move smoothly toward the door and she had a chance to admire his ass in snug, but regulation, uniform trousers.
"Brilliant idea,Georg. Commercials. Non-participatory sporting events. Mindless jiggle comedies. Endless, pointless soap operas. Gratitiously violent formulaic dramas. " Kazeen snorted softly in disbelief. " It's a wonder that Earth survived television." She grinned ironically. "Good thing that civilization collapsed when it did. Just imagine the mess we'd be in now if it hadn't. Bet we'd be back to slamming each other over the head with stone clubs and burning books for kindling."
The doors swooped closed, but not before she had a chance to see Papandropoulis lean over James's desk and whisper something that made the receptionist blush. Hitting on *her* receptionist on company time. Well, maybe she wouldn't put in for that sex change just yet. Besides she was expected before the Committee at 15:30 and it would take the better part of an hour to expunge any suggestion that Operation Moral Majority wasn't her idea from the records.
The End