Just noodling here, folks.  A bit of fun with no serious meaning or significance.

And no identified speaker either. Fill-ib-the-blanks with your own eveil little minds.....

P.S. Bet you can't guess I'm a fan of the original show, can you?
 
 

Feedback feeds the writer's soul.  Send compliment and complaints to:   Ragpants



 

The Full Fizbin

by ragpants,  © March 2001

_______________________________

Well?

Well, what?

Are you playing or not?

I'm.....thinking.

What's there to think about? Either you're in or you're out.

OK, OK.  I'm in. And standing pat. No cards.

Oooh. Brave words from someone who's not wearing any pants.

Don't start....and don't gloat. It's not an attractive quality in an officer.

Only if you're losing.....Dealer takes three.

.....

So?

What day is it?

It's.....I'm not sure. Why?

If it's Thursday, I have a Grand Fizbin.

There's no such thing.

Sure there is. Kirk said so himself. Didn't  you have to read his logs at the Academy?

Yeah, but Kirk was making it up as he went.

Isn't that just what we're doing?

I suppose you could argue that position....

So, is it Thursday?

I don't know. I don't even know what time it is. And there's no clock in here. I suppose we could ask the computer. Com....

Wait. Let's make it more interesting. All or nothing.

All or nothing?

That's what I said. And let's throw in a little something to make it even more of a challenge.

Like?

Let's say we can't use ship's time. That's too easy. Pick a planet--not Earth either--one that uses Earth's day designations, but the day lengths don't have to be Earth standard. I pick the planet; you pick the location. If it's Thursday, I've get my Grand Fizbin.

Hmmm.... sounds fair enough.

Well?  Are you game?

What do you think? Name your planet.

Clarke's World. It's a human colony on the edge of the Odyssey Cluster. It's real. I was even there once.

I'll take your word on that.... Computer, can you calculate the local day and time for Clarke's World?

Affirmative. Do you wish Prime Meridian Time or a specific locale?

What are my options?......Computer,  specify available locales?

Available locales include: Simak, Gernsbeck, Blish, Heinlein and Gotcha.

Gotcha?

It is currently....

Stop! Computer, I wasn't talking to you.....Gotcha?

It's the planetary capital. What can I say? The first settlers must have had a peculiar sense of humor....

Computer,  what is the current day and time for Gotcha on Clarke's World?

It is Stardate 10826.44. The local equivalent is Thursday,  27:22pm, the 11th of Nasty.

Thursday.

So it is.

I win. Now hand over the goods.

What did you say earlier about gloating?  Besides, doesn't it feel chilly in here to you?

Trying to weasel out of the bet?

No. I was just wondering how I'm going to get back to my quarters without destroying my dignity. I don't suppose....No chance at all?  Well, I can always transport. No, wait, you've got my commbadge.....You know I've never quite appreciated what a deliciously wicked sense of humor you have....

See. All this time and you still underestimate me.

Maybe I do and maybe I don't..... Computer, give me the latitude and longitude for Gotcha on Clarke's World.

No such data exist.

Computer, what is the most recent population count for Gotcha on Clarke's World?

No such data exist.

I'm beginning to see a pattern here....Computer, is there a settlement named Gotcha on Clarke's World?

No such settlement exists.

You cheated.

Actually, I prefer to call it 'showing command-level initiative'.  You know how I hate to lose.  Besides, no one forced to choose Gotcha. You could have picked a different town. The rest are all legitimate.

Nice of you to leave that much to chance....What if I'd insisted on picking the planet? No, wait, there's a 'Gotcha' on every planet, isn't there?

Well....not by that name, but yes.

You rigged the game.

Not the game--just the outcome of this particular scenario.

But why?

Think of it as a test.

 A test of what? If you had wanted me to strip, you could have just asked.

Well,  mostly I had in mind to see how long it would take you to figure out the scam----although I have to admit I am enjoying the side benefits.

So did I pass?

 Oh definitely. On *all* counts.

Does that mean I can have my clothes back...since you admit to cheating and all?

How about we play another hand instead?

For what stakes?

I'm sure we can think of something.....

I'm sure we can.....but I get to deal and I get to name the game.  Have you every played the Antarean Poker? No? Well, you're dealt 7 cars, except if it's in the rainy season, then you get 8. And all 7's and 9's are wild and aces can't used to make points......

The End
 


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