I'd loved to hear your opinion! Write me!
AND yes, I already know that I'm completely warped....
Captain Janeway squirmed on the chaise, trying to find a more comfortable position, and tugged her robe closer around her body. She took a breath, shallow and through her mouth. The scent of the room, a stomach-churning combination of burnt sugar and very old sweat socks with notes of lilacs, fresh bread and dead fish, nauseated her, although the guard or manservant who had brought her here had taken several deep sniffs and smiled appreciatively. She wondered for the thousandth time just what she had gotten herself into. No, scratch that. She knew what she had gotten herself into, had known from the moment the Flosculi Minister of Trade had returned to the negotiating table after consulting with the Anointed High Prince of the Imperium. The Minister had sat down opposite her, tugged unnecessarily at his sleeves, tapped the opposable pair of thumbs on each hand together several times, and delicately cleared his throat before proceeding to completely ignore her and address all his remarks to Tuvok and Neelix who sat on her left. She knew right then what the next item on the agenda would be: her. And so it was. Prince Pingo, it happened, was a man of exotic appetites and legendary licentiousness with a preference for alien women.
So now she waited in this damp and smelly room to carry out her part of the bargain. It was a good deal for Voyager--safe and unimpeded passage through Flosculi space (and that extended for the next 5000 light years), a 10 month supply of deuterium and trading rights at any of the colonies and protectorates along the way in return for some relatively minor transtator technology and a dalliance with the Imperial Heir. It was a deal, Janeway decided, she could live with--and she'd have to it. She couldn't exactly order Crewman NoName down in waste recycling to take her place. And calling for volunteers seemed, well, tacky.No, this was a captain's duty--one which she was had been aware of since command school, though truthfully one she never expected to have to carry out.
Prince Pingo finally arrived. Janeway supposed he was a fine looking specimen for his race, though she did find the mane of electric blue hair which grew from the center of his skull to midway down his spine and the two extra joints on his four-fingered hands a bit disconcerting. She smiled in what she hoped was a friendly fashion and mentally prepared to 'lie back and think of England.' She only wished she had fortified herself with a second bourbon before she had transported to the Prince's flagship.
Things were proceeding apace. The Prince was a decent kisser and those extra finger joints didn't feel all too odd, but when the Prince dropped his robe, only years of experience at diplomatic negotiations and her own natural scientific inclination prevented Janeway from bursting into giggles. She goggled and stared quite blatantly as it was. Because instead of the expected plumbing, the Prince's groin sprouted what looked like four bright blue chrysanthemum blossoms, and button chrysanthemums at that.
After a half hour of playing "show me" with the Imperial Heir and after six fruitless calls to both the Prince's medical and engineering staffs, Janeway dressed and transported back to Voyager. She had barely finished rematerializing before the Doctor was hovering over her with his medical tricorder, checking for injury and cellular contamination. Her First Office and Security Chief lingered only slightly futher away, both awash with guilt that showed plainly on their faces.
"I'm fine, gentlemen, " she assured them all briskly, stepping down from the transporter platform. "Order the helm to resume course to the Alpha Quadrant." She made shooing motions with her hands and then jauntily exited the room whistling "Some Enchanted Evening."
THE END