Bonjour, mes amis, I'm back with more stories of travel to lands abroad! Oh sure, you don't need a passport to get into Canada, in fact no identification at all, but that doesn't make it any less cool now, does it? No! So allow me to begin . . .
I should first start with a list of things I happened to find amusing/odd about the people and city I visited, Montreal. Here goes:
They're ruder than Bostonians.
They drive worse, too.
They all run like helpless, brainless girls regardless of gender.
There is a strip club next to the Gap.
The arcades are, dare I say it, archaic.
People look directly at you while talking to someone else. (This one really confuses Matt)
The water sprinklers are on the walls in the hotels.
The taxis are a variety of makes, models, and colors. (Usually, they're all Crown Victorias or at least the very same type of vehicle.)
All the people are ugly, except for the emaciated, anorexic ones.
This doesn't really count, but the roads in Vermont on the way up were treacherous at best.
More random chicks smile at Matt than ever before! Meanwhile . . .
No one has hit on Christine.
Interjects Matt: Well, maybe just a few people. Ok, several people. Interjects Christine: No, they just looked at me. Speaking of which . . .
Montreal men are not subtle about checking you out.
The cab drivers drive crazier than Boston Taxis.
The attendants and waitresses are either extremely cheerful, or watch you like you're gonna steal something.
They have female gas attendants.
The frolicking deer signs.
The sauntering moose signs.
The forboding falling rocks signs.
Where do they get the French music on the radio stations???
They played U2. (This is not bad)
There are French-speaking black people.
They like to make things more confusing than necessary. (I am pretty much convinced they only do this to tourists for entertainment purposes.)
If you say "Je m'appelle la Tick!" really loudly in an exaggerated French accent, the people in front of you look back in disgust.
French people typically have big noses.
They serve pizza with spoons.
Any questions on those, feel free to ask.
In any case, here are some of the attractions I saw, and some gratuitous shots of me acting as foreground for an otherwise much prettier background.
This is something on La Rue Notre-Dame, and I never found out what it was called. But it looks pretty cool, and has a neat European feel to it. Not that I am familiar with the feeling of Europe JUST YET, but I'm guessing this has a Euro-flavor floating about it. But I thought it looked cool, so I took a picture! And I like how it's at an upward slant, so it looks a little forboding, looming in the distance . . .
So here's the next picture, something that absolutley HAD to be taken because how could you NOT take a picture of this word with me smiling underneath? I mean, it's one of my favorite pastries for chrissakes! And let me tell you about the deluge of pastries we witnessed . . . OH it was glorious. Everything from croissants (genuine, too!) to muffins to scones to things we didn't know the name of but looked finger-lickin' delicious anyways. Oh, and a little off the track, the wine sherbert we had at this mucho expensive restaurant kicked ass and I think I'm gonna have to take a journey to find this again, methinks I could live on it. That and chocolate mousse . . . oh and the raspberry mousse was most delectable, as well. And that little raspberry sauce and the creamy stuff . . . oh and did I tell you I had the liver of a duck? Let me tell you, it just tasted like bloody rare meat, and I know some of you reading this like that idea. The Asian fruit was a bit odd, not frooty in the way us Americans are used to. But the shrimp was good. Oh, and the caviar was crunchy. But interesting nonetheless! Oh, look at me blabbing about food . . . well, for the money we spent on it I should get to write a LITTLE bit on it . . . okay, on to the next picture!
This next picture is of some church in Vieux-Montreal where the aforementioned cool structure was also found. And I think it's weird that they get to have a regular Montreal and an Old Montreal. Old Montreal was a lot prettier but didn't have as many cool shops. Speaking of shops, we went into a pharmacie, like a Canadian CVS, and EVERYTHING was in French! Like, the packaging for shampoo and sanitary napkins and tissue and candy was all re-made in French! It was so cool! And they regularly carried some really good Cadbury and Nestles and other assorted chocolate goodies that you rarely see in the USA . . . I had to buy some and indulge. It was just so NEAT . . . and they also had colored staple removers! What more could you ask for??? (Besides a hooker, some whipped cream, and a bullwhip?) But anyways, it was such a culture shock for me. I admit I must have looked like a tourist freak, all awed at the bottles of Finesse that talked to me in French. Another cool thing is that most of the packaging say stuff in both French AND English. And the ingredients are listed in French! And . . . ooooh . . . anyways . . . I'll shut up now and show you my next picture!
Okay, I figured it might be a good idea to get in a picture of my travelling companion, Norweigan Matt, because he might feel a bit left out and I wouldn't want to do that to anyone! So here is Norweigan Matt, trying to look . . . I dunno . . . sexy, maybe? Well if he was, he didn't do too well. Sorry, NM, the truth hurts, I know . . .
In any case, back to the glorious city of Montreal . . . here is another picture, this time of Matt's brother pulling a carriage . . . ok, I'm JUST KIDDING. No this is the center of Vieux-Montreal, and here is a horse carriage! And the stuff in back looks pretty nice, too, but I can't tell you what it is! I know I sound like a dumb tourist, but I didn't go there to see certain places and to be able to rattle them off when I got back . . . I just wanted to explore a new country and enjoy myself. So there.
And here is yet another picture of me, hamming it up in front of some old building in Vieux-Montreal and also freezing my ass off. It was pretty frickin' cold up there! It had gone past the scale of tit-wrenching straight to clit-twisting . . . brrrr!
I'm kind of angry that Montreal gets this nice little park that people can ice skate all around, and there's a cool bridge that goes across the center of the park, and they play music, and you can walk on a pathway and see the water, and someone was carving the icy snow into stairs, and flying kites, and WHAT THE HELL why don't WE get a place like that? Don't you think it would be good wholesome fun that would keep the kids out of trouble???
Oh, well, enough of my ranting. You could rent skates and they played U2 there, in fact that's what called me to this little spot. There was cool pictures on the walls and people were falling down, so I laughed. I kinda wished I could have skated, except for the fact that I can't skate and I'm not going to embarass myself learning in a foreign country. The last thing I need is people making fun of me and pointing at me in French! Sac le bleur! After scouring this area, we ate at this quaint little cafe that I cannot remember the name of and I had some damn good grilled cheese! Matt partook in the french onion soup, which was one of the day's specials. And mais oui, le chocolate chaud was in order for this blustery weather. Natch I over-tipped, because I just wouldn't feel right if I didn't! It also doesn't feel right tipping with one and two dollar coins . . . Anyhoo, here's a picture of this keen little spot . . . What else have I to show you? Oh yes, last but not least, one of my favorite sights, a strip club right smack dab in the center of town. Indeed, a shocking sight, especially when it's right next to a family dining establishment! I wish I had gotten a picture of the casino I went to, but they wouldn't just let us stand outside and take a picture. It was well-lit and very visible from a decent distance, though. It was out on a little island-like thingy. Lots of people of all sorts went there, and a couple of really not-so-subtle guys checked me out and said stuff in French to eachother I couldn't hear too well, but got the jist. How else can someone make me feel like a piece of rump roast hanging in the window of a butcher shop???
So anyway, that was my trip. It sure was a good change of pace to skip the country, and I got my travel bug up again. That's kind of bad because I don't really have the money to travel. In any case, I recommend a nice trip to Montreal if you're feeling saucy or bored with American life. Bon Appetit!
This is something on La Rue Notre-Dame, and I never found out what it was called. But it looks pretty cool, and has a neat European feel to it. Not that I am familiar with the feeling of Europe JUST YET, but I'm guessing this has a Euro-flavor floating about it. But I thought it looked cool, so I took a picture! And I like how it's at an upward slant, so it looks a little forboding, looming in the distance . . .
And let me tell you about the deluge of pastries we witnessed . . . OH it was glorious. Everything from croissants (genuine, too!) to muffins to scones to things we didn't know the name of but looked finger-lickin' delicious anyways. Oh, and a little off the track, the wine sherbert we had at this mucho expensive restaurant kicked ass and I think I'm gonna have to take a journey to find this again, methinks I could live on it. That and chocolate mousse . . . oh and the raspberry mousse was most delectable, as well. And that little raspberry sauce and the creamy stuff . . . oh and did I tell you I had the liver of a duck? Let me tell you, it just tasted like bloody rare meat, and I know some of you reading this like that idea. The Asian fruit was a bit odd, not frooty in the way us Americans are used to. But the shrimp was good. Oh, and the caviar was crunchy. But interesting nonetheless! Oh, look at me blabbing about food . . . well, for the money we spent on it I should get to write a LITTLE bit on it . . . okay, on to the next picture!
and EVERYTHING was in French! Like, the packaging for shampoo and sanitary napkins and tissue and candy was all re-made in French! It was so cool! And they regularly carried some really good Cadbury and Nestles and other assorted chocolate goodies that you rarely see in the USA . . . I had to buy some and indulge. It was just so NEAT . . . and they also had colored staple removers! What more could you ask for??? (Besides a hooker, some whipped cream, and a bullwhip?) But anyways, it was such a culture shock for me. I admit I must have looked like a tourist freak, all awed at the bottles of Finesse that talked to me in French. Another cool thing is that most of the packaging say stuff in both French AND English. And the ingredients are listed in French! And . . . ooooh . . . anyways . . . I'll shut up now and show you my next picture!
What else have I to show you? Oh yes, last but not least, one of my favorite sights, a strip club right smack dab in the center of town. Indeed, a shocking sight, especially when it's right next to a family dining establishment! 
I wish I had gotten a picture of the casino I went to, but they wouldn't just let us stand outside and take a picture. It was well-lit and very visible from a decent distance, though. It was out on a little island-like thingy. Lots of people of all sorts went there, and a couple of really not-so-subtle guys checked me out and said stuff in French to eachother I couldn't hear too well, but got the jist. How else can someone make me feel like a piece of rump roast hanging in the window of a butcher shop??? 