For instance, we witnessed Matt ordering Guinness, which really turned into a bad scene, man, and not even in a happening way. He became quite violent and unruly and we realized that he had become, yes - We were most appalled. As you can see, after his little bender, he fell down and ended up under the desk of our hotel room. 
He woke up with a nasty hangover and was dragging ass all day until we slapped him around a bit and kicked him in the nuts a few times. There's not better way to sober a drunk than that, except perhaps that whole scrotal clamping thing he adores so much. Er . . . enough of that! Let's move on. 
Not only was there no Manowar, but we tried and failed to see the Blair Witch project. Some was in part to the fact that I had gotten two hours of sleep the night before and had only eaten a croissant and whopper all day and it had been many hours since I had eaten. And so, I got to have a grilled cheese with THREE - count them, kinds of cheeses! Aaaah, Wisconsin, a state after my own tastebuds.
Here is a picture of our travel companion Ken, who posed as a pizza that we just had to partake in. He was quite delicious. You may ask how we got him safely on the plane, but oddly enough, he morphs into some human form when not in front of a camera. Weird . . .
OK. So things weren't as expected. I was getting no sleep, we had to witness Matt drunk, and were forced to eat some parts of Ken when we got hungry. We also realized how bad Matt's hygiene really is . . . he didn't take a shower the whole trip until we nagged him on Sunday morning to JUST GET IN THE SHOWER. So he got in the bathroom and it took him about ten minutes to decipher the intricate faucet system. When the water was finally turned on and he went in, it took - and Ken will vouch for this - LESS THAN TWO MINUTES for the shower to be turned off again. 
We were a little skeeved out, to say the least. Let's just say that it's safe to keep a good three feet distance from Matt at any given time. We did, however, get actual footage of him brushing his teeth, so we know he can't be too skanky. But oogy enough, believe you me. Gamey does not describe it. Disturbing is more accurate, really. In fact, we don't suggest ever sharing a hotel room with this character again. He breeds germs and fleas. This is just a warning for all of you who ever considered travelling anywhere with him and will in the future - GET SEPARATE ROOMS. Okay. Next topic.
It was getting to the point where I had to start doing strip teases for monopoly money. 
Finally, Ken fell asleep (in human form this time) and I contacted some people I knew in town and we went OUT! We traveled to a place called Mel's Diner, sort of like the Milwaukee version of Bickford's, except they weren't open all night and it had a fifty's motif. Unfortunately, I got no pictures, becuase the camera wasn't on me. However, picture if you will: Sea green walls with hot pink trim, and the King himself bellowing throughout the diner . . . it was like high school all over again. Sort of.
This is what happens when Christine gets angry. 
That's right, people get hurt. It's a good thing you didn't see any of the pictures after this: Oh my, the blood and entrails that were strewn about! Luckily, Matt has this regenerating power (being immortal and all) and in about five minutes he was good as new. I could have finished him off with a nice lob to the head and stolen his money, but you really should tie people to a bed before you do something like that. Get their hopes up and all.
And this picture is meant to sum up the trip: Fatigue. Lassitude. 
Call it what you will; we were fucking exhausted. I slept for almost 14 hours Sunday-Monday, and Ken the Pizza told me he missed work sleeping 2-4. Matt is the only bonehead who got any sleep on the trip (being shitfaced helps) and so he really needed no more sleep. And that, my friends, was the trip . . . now go brush your teeth and lather yourself up real good! Learn from someone else's mistakes.
