Change. What a constant in life it is. Somethings change for the better. Some for the worse. Occasionally its a just lateral. Whatever it is or when it happens it is enevitable and beyond our control. Many times we are blind to it because we choose not to accept it or want it to happen. Especially with people. Often times our friends change, we change or just grow in different directions. It happens and is apart of life. Someone once told me that they miss the conversations we used to have years past, but rarely if ever do I hear from him anymore. I even find the feeling in myself sometimes with others I haven't been in contact with for some reason or another. I feel sadden that I no longer stay incontact with some of them and that our friendship has seemed to fade. But I am happy for the times that each of them made an impact on my life. All that I have met over the course of my life have shown me something new or taught me a valuable. Meghan showed me what it was like to be in love. Andy, my best friend, has given me the gift of friendship that has lasted time and distance. Amanda, its been nice to have a "objective" woman's point of view. All the guys from back home, the need to let lose once in awhile even if it kills me. My friends from Hammond, Upward Bound, and Buffalo taught me I didn't have to share all the childhood memories amd events to develop close friendships. For all the lessons and experiences I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. As days pass I realize that I viewed many of the people in my life from the way they were in the past and not the persons that they had become. None of their changes have been better or worse, in my opinion, but just in their own direction in the pursuit of happiness. I'm grateful that have come into their own and doing wonderful things. I used to carry a sense of guilt that I had not keep in touch with all of them since I left for college or other circumstances of distances between us. Now I am have come to understand that some people are in your life for a short time, others are there till the end, and yet some drift in and out when you need them or they need you. Its just the way of life. People grow apart and togeher at different times. While I'm sadden by a decrease in communication with a number of unique individuals, I will always be thankful for all that friends that I have made and will make.

Why does it seem so hard for some people to accept you are just trying to take a stand for yourself and everyone thinks that you are getting all pumped up and missing the point. I used to put up with shit and some people just because it was part/friends of my friends. Now every once on awhile I get to the point where enough is enough, I "seem" to not get it any more in the eyes of some individuals. Well I'm sorry to say that if they get the wrong idea about shit then latty-friggin-dah. I am so tired of trying to explain my views and people just not excepting them or have to analyze it. Granted I know I do it myself sometimes, but I know that and am trying to work on that.

Friendship and Love. Two things that make the world go round, but never seem to coincide. As a famous quote once stated "Friendship can end in love, but love in friendship never." It's easy to see how two people with a strong frinedship can end in an enduring love. But to go from love to friendship seems to be asking for prolonging something that isn't there anymore. Almost all of the time, this ends on the part of one person, leaving the other feeling alone, unworthy, unloved, or a combination of the mix or countless others that are felt. Being a person who has always been the dumpee, and not the dumper, I have a slightly bias view of the matter. It is so hard to see that becoming so much can be left to so little. The we'll call and still be friends speech can come in many different forms, but inevitably the same result. There are periods for hope in a rekindling of the relationship, a hate for what they've done to you, a movement of forgive and forget, and a hundred variations that fall between. We all deal with the situation in our own way. Some are deeply prolonged and others are promptly delt with. I used to think of the friendship and bonds created were lost and unretainable, but the other day a student from a summer program sent me an email. In it was a foward about people that come into your lives. Some are there for a life time and others are there for a season, but they come into you to fulfill a need that you have at the time, realyzed or not, and leave when that need has been filled. It was a point of view that I had never considered before. I'm grateful for the small piece of advice that was passed on to me from someone not even out of high school. So friendship into love can be magnificant, but love ending in friendship may not a occur, there was still wonderful times and a momment where the future was shown to you if only breifly.