Subject: xfc Light Into Darkness (PG) 1/4 by Kestabrook Date: 2 Jun 1999 06:06:05 -0700 From: KEstabrook@aol.com Organization: None Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative From: KEstabrook@aol.com TITLE: Light Into Darkness AUTHOR: Kestabrook E-MAIL: Kestabrook@aol.com DISTRIBUTION: Archive if you’d like. Please let me know where, and do use my name. SPOILERS: Basic knowledge of the series RATING: PG (for mildly disturbing imagery) KEYWORDS: Pre X-F; M/A CLASSIFICATION: V SUMMARY: Young Fox Mulder suffers the horror of Samantha’s disappearance and the instant devastation to his life. DISCLAIMER: These characters are not mine. They, of course, belong to Chris Carter and the whole X-Files gang. COMMENTS: For Lisa (L.A.Adolf) whose genius insights into these characters and discussions about them inspired this story. Her long-lasting friendship means the world to me. FEEDBACK: If positive or helpful only, please. Light Into Darkness (1/4) by Kestabrook Fox Mulder lay on the couch, staring up at the bright white ceiling paper. He remembered the day the workmen had put that paper up there. His father had usually hired people to do what the family could have done, so the workers had arrived. The hot summer day had burned in bright sunshine, and the cool breezes had sifted through the living room’s window screens. Sweat had soaked through the men’s white T-shirts and had cast an odor which finally drove Samantha and him from the room, snickering. And once they’d gotten to the treehouse, they’d laughed aloud, making stupid parodies of deodorant commercials the workmen had obviously ignored. But summer had passed, and on this night in Massachusetts in late November, it was anything but warm. And his body shook with chills. "Do you want a blanket, Fox?" He blinked up at his father whose eyes, unlike his mother’s, were dry and hard. The man’s lips formed a grim line, and his hands were clenched tightly. He must have come from the kitchen where the voices murmured, sent to check on his twelve-year-old son, perhaps at his wife’s urging. But no real interest seemed to show in his face. Not now. The once warm smile had disappeared, and Fox had a feeling it would never return. The boy shook his head in answer to his father’s question, but he said, "Dad? I’m sorry. I don’t know--" "I don’t want to hear it," Bill Mulder spat. "Take this like a man. We all feel grief tonight. Your mother doesn’t need to feel yours, too. Learn to keep your emotions to yourself, boy." The son stared into his father’s eyes, waiting, hoping they might soften. But they didn’t. He turned to stare at the back of the couch as if he’d never seen it. He sensed his father watching him, knew the man wanted to say more--but he’d said enough earlier, stopped only by the shrieking reprimands of his wife. Yes, those words had sufficed. Each had cut into the boy’s heart, into the boy’s soul like a whip slashing through butter. And they wouldn’t-- couldn’t--be forgotten. "Where were you?! How could you let this happen?!" and "This was your sister, Fox! Didn’t you even try to save her?!" and "Look what this has done to your mother!" It was then that Tina Mulder had screamed her intervention, effectively stopping her husband’s tirade. And then Bill had called the police. Two officers had arrived in a fair amount of time, but Fox had barely noticed. Through her streaming tears, his mother had told him to go to bed. Bed, however, was upstairs in the cold and in the dark--neither of which would have bothered him usually. But this time he’d be alone. Alone and wondering. Alone and scared. Alone and grieving. Alone. Perhaps alone forever. No little voice would come to him through the darkness, asking him to get her a drink of water. No little voice would break the darkness to tell him one more time how cute she thought David Cassidy was. No little voice would shatter the darkness to thank him for something he’d done for her that day-- something he would have already forgotten by nighttime. No more little voice. Only darkness. Alone, and forever in darkness. "No, Mom," he’d said to her. "I don’t want to go to bed." He’d lain on the couch instead, head propped on the pillow, arms folded across his chest. His mother, too broken to protest, had slipped into the kitchen to be with the other adults. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ How has ONElist changed your life? http://www.onelist.com Share your story with us at http://www.onelist.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The X-Files Creative Mailing List Archived at http://www.xemplary.com To subscribe, go to http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/xfcreative To unsubscribe, go to http://www.onelist.com and click on the Member Center button ---------------------------------- Imported to ATXC courtesy of NewsGuy news service http://newsguy.com ************************** End "Light Into Darkness" (1/4) Subject: xfc Light Into Darkness (PG) 2/4 by Kestabrook Date: 2 Jun 1999 06:06:41 -0700 From: KEstabrook@aol.com Organization: None Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative From: KEstabrook@aol.com Light Into Darkness (2/4) by Kestabrook He found it difficult to remember exactly what had happened. A normal night babysitting his sister. He’d found the Watergate hearings fascinating. He’d even enjoyed the banter between Howard Baker and Sam Ervin. But "The Magician" was what he’d been looking forward to--his favorite show on all of TV. And Samantha had wanted to play something--they’d agreed on Stratego. They’d argued some--what else was new? Brothers and sisters fought; it was a fact of life. And then--what? Light. And such a light. Bright. White. Blinding. And then noise. And shaking. Afterward, Samantha had been--gone. Fox had found himself on the floor of the living room, confused, dazed. He’d sat there, trying to grab one thread of explanation for what had happened. And his nerves had erupted, shaking his body, chilling him. "The Magician" appeared on TV, but he’d only glimpsed it before shutting it from his mind. He’d risen, then begun a frantic search of the house, his quaking knees threatening to drop him as the search grew more and more futile. He had no idea when he’d started screaming her name, his voice louder than he’d ever heard it. Tears had run down his face and dripped from his jaw onto his shirt, soaking through to his skin, but he hadn’t cared, hadn’t noticed. He’d felt so cold, so frightened, so empty. Some cruel magician’s trick had stolen his sister away from him. With a flashlight he’d searched the back yard, the garage, their treehouse. Then a noise from inside his home had filled him with hope and started him running back through the kitchen and into the living room. And he’d stopped short, finding himself face to face with his parents. What could he say? How could he tell them? Instantly, his mother’s face had paled. "Fox? Fox, what’s wrong? We heard you from the Galbraiths’. Honey, all the lights in the house are on." She’d come to him then, knelt down, eyes full of concern and dread. Her hands had gripped his shoulders, sliding down to examine his arms and hands. She’d glanced up quickly to her husband, her lips parting as if about to protest, and a sob caught in her throat. "He’s so cold. He’s shaking!" And turning back to her son, she’d asked, "Whatever is wrong?" He’d gulped, finding it difficult to meet her gaze, to breathe. "Samantha. She’s gone." After that--was a blur. Except for his father’s harsh words. And those were as menacing as the man’s face and eyes which suddenly seemed to behold his son as an enemy, an anathema to be shunned until the end of time. "Your shoes, Fox." Bill Mulder’s voice cut through the boy’s memories, returning the young green eyes back to the adult’s hard stare. The man’s face remained unforgiving. "Your shoes. Do you think your mother would want them on the couch?" Fox sat up, quickly untying his sneakers, sliding them from his feet, and dropping them to the floor almost soundlessly. Then he returned to the refuge of the couch and watched his father’s back as it again retreated to the kitchen. Could this really be his father? The same man who’d built the treehouse and strung the rope swing? The same man who’d taken them camping? The same man who’d taught Fox survival skills in the woods? The same man with whom he’d shared the title of "Indian Guide" at summer camp? Couldn’t be. Fox Mulder’s father had been consumed by this unsympathetic man, the man who’d made the boy feel the guilt of Samantha’s disappearance. And maybe he *was* guilty. If not, why was Samantha gone? "We’d like to talk to you for a few minutes, son." The voice belonged to the middle-aged, balding officer whose gut threatened the buttons of his uniform shirt beneath the leather jacket. He sat in the chair across from Fox. The younger, blond officer took another chair. His face seemed pinched, scrawny, doubting. His adam’s apple protruded like a fist inside a nylon stocking. Fox and Samantha would have joked about these two, each mimicking one of the cops, Laurel and Hardy style, until brother and sister would have fallen down, laughing. "Sit up, boy," Bill Mulder ordered from the doorway. "Where are your manners?" Fox dutifully did as he was told. He kept his hands clasped in his lap, and he looked down at them, amazed at how white his knuckles suddenly were. ****************************** End "Light Into Darkness" (2/4) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Looking to expand your world? http://www.onelist.com ONElist has nearly 160,000 e-mail communities from which to chose! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The X-Files Creative Mailing List Archived at http://www.xemplary.com To subscribe, go to http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/xfcreative To unsubscribe, go to http://www.onelist.com and click on the Member Center button ---------------------------------- Imported to ATXC courtesy of NewsGuy news service http://newsguy.com Subject: xfc Light Into Darkness (PG) 3/4 by Kestabrook Date: 2 Jun 1999 06:07:01 -0700 From: KEstabrook@aol.com Organization: None Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative From: KEstabrook@aol.com Light Into Darkness (3/4) by Kestabrook "I see no reason for this." He glanced up to find his mother shoving past his father, but stopping short of the couch. She still cried, and her face looked longer, exhausted. "We’ve told you what he told us," she croaked. "Yes, ma’am," the balding cop said. But he turned to the boy. "I’m Officer Duggan, young man. And this is Officer Chandler. I understand your sister is missing." Fox slowly nodded. A huge lump had formed in his throat. He hoped he wouldn’t have to talk; no way could he get air past that lump. "Do you like your sister, Fox?" Again he nodded. Of course he liked Samantha. She was family. She was a friend. Sometimes she really bugged him, but he still liked her. "Did you love your sister?" He nodded. His eyes seemed glued to the floor. The Stratego board remained there, but the game pieces had all fallen over. "Do you have a girlfriend, Fox?" Chandler asked. His voice carried a hint of sarcasm. The young boy shook his head, his nose wrinkling slightly. "Do you wish you had one?" Fox shrugged. Someday probably, yeah. Would he ever reach "someday"? He didn’t really want to if Samantha didn’t come back. "Listen, Fox," Duggan said, "we’re kind of wondering if maybe you liked your little sister a little too much--" "That’s enough!" Tina Mulder’s voice was firm. "My son would not do what you’re implying!" Officer Chandler laughed mirthlessly as he took a photograph from his notebook. "Mrs. Mulder, I hate to tell you this, but I’m afraid my partner’s implication could be entirely possible. Your daughter was a very beautiful little girl. Your son’s on the verge of puberty. You left him alone to babysit her. Maybe he got a little carried away. It happens." "No!" Tina exclaimed. "No, he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t!" Bill Mulder moved to his wife, his arm draping hesitantly around her shoulders. "No, Officer Chandler. She’s right. Now go on with your questions--but leave that idea out." Fox stared at the adults, not really comprehending all of what they accused him. But he could never have hurt Samantha. Never. He saw Chandler shaking his head, his smirk shouting how mistaken he considered these parents to be. Duggan shrugged. "Fox," the fat cop finally said, unable to hide a smile that revealed he considered the boy less than believable, "your parents told us that tonight you saw a really bright light and felt the room shaking. Wanna tell us anything about that? Wanna tell us what happened after you saw this light, heard that noise?" The young boy looked at the man, saw him grow more suspicious when no answer came. Again he stared down at his clasped hands. Tears began to roll from his eyes and drop onto his arms. "Come on, boy," Chandler sneered, "surely you can make something up. How’d your daddy’s gun get down there? Wanna tell us that?" Fox’s glance shot to the floor, and his mouth dropped open in horror when, indeed, he saw the carpet littered with various things, the handgun being the most prominent. He looked up at his parents, wishing they could tell him why the gun was out of its special place. "Somebody kidnap your tongue, too, kid?" Chandler smirked. "Can you tell us who took your sister? What he looked like? Was there just one guy? Did you see what kind of vehicle he had?" Chandler leaned forward, waiting. His smirk turned into a mocking smile. When no response came, he turned to his partner. "I think we ought to take him in. Maybe a few hours in interrogation would get a confession out of him." "No!" Tina again protested. "Ma’am, it might be more of a help to us--" Duggan began. "No! My son is not to blame!" Tina replied through sobs. She shifted from her husband, making his arm fall clumsily to his side. Her face was fierce as she glared at him. "For God’s sake, Bill, how much longer are you going to allow this to go on?! Tell them ‘no.’ And you tell them now!" Bill Mulder stepped into the middle of the room. With his right hand, he gestured for the officers to leave. "My wife’s right. Fox didn’t do anything to Samantha. It’s not in his nature. I’d appreciate it if you’d go now. Maybe set up some roadblocks. The real kidnapper has to be found." Both officers reluctantly got to their feet. "I’d check my back yard for a fresh grave tomorrow, Mister Mulder. If I was you." Chandler stared down at Fox as if the boy was repulsive. "We’ll set up roadblocks all right, but it’ll be a waste of time when the truth’s right here in this room. Boy won’t defend himself, won’t answer our questions. Looks pretty guilty to me." "He might not have done anything *to* your daughter, sir," Duggan chimed in, "but he sure didn’t do much *for* her either. Not if he gave her up without a fight." "Officers, please. You’re upsetting my wife." Bill urged them toward the front door. Slowly, both stood, and then headed outside, the younger officer strutting after his partner, giving Bill Mulder a sarcastic shake of his head. After they were gone, the elder Mulder softly closed the door, his eyes closed as he continued to face it. And then, finally, he turned back to his remaining family. ****************************** End "Light Into Darkness" (3/4) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ How has ONElist changed your life? http://www.onelist.com Share your story with us at http://www.onelist.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The X-Files Creative Mailing List Archived at http://www.xemplary.com To subscribe, go to http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/xfcreative To unsubscribe, go to http://www.onelist.com and click on the Member Center button ---------------------------------- Imported to ATXC courtesy of NewsGuy news service http://newsguy.com Subject: xfc Light Into Darkness (PG) 4/4 by Kestabrook Date: 2 Jun 1999 06:06:23 -0700 From: KEstabrook@aol.com Organization: None Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative From: KEstabrook@aol.com Light Into Darkness (4/4) by Kestabrook Fox stared at his father, imploring him to help, to comfort, to make the nightmare end. His gaze was returned, but the other’s eyes seemed different--darker, narrower, callous. Another chill clutched the boy, and he turned away. "I’m going to bed," Bill Mulder announced, his voice quiet, hardened. He started up the stairs. "Are you coming, Tina?" Without waiting for an answer, he continued, and his footsteps could be heard, trudging above them in his bedroom. Fox gazed at the empty stairway. His father hadn’t hugged him as he so often did--hadn’t even said a word to him. Had he let his father down so badly? He turned to his mother. "Mom? They’ll find her, won’t they?" How hoarse, how tiny his voice sounded in the near emptiness. Tina switched off one of the room’s lamps. "Come, Fox. Time for bed." He reeled. No! Samantha’s bed was in that bedroom, too. It would be empty. Maybe forever. And he couldn’t face seeing it. "I want to sleep here," he informed his mother adamantly. Tina pivoted, her eyes still spilling teardrops, and she nodded absently at him. Her voice broke as she murmured, "You’ll need a blanket." He watched her move quickly toward the stairs, her hands covering her mouth as she climbed. She never turned back to say "good night" as she usually did at the door to his and Samantha’s room. She never turned back to say "I love you" as she had every night since he could remember. She never turned back to kiss his forehead and say "You’re my favorite son" as she so often did. She never turned back. And she didn’t bring him a blanket. He heard his parents’ bedroom door close. He wondered how they could sleep. Would it ever be possible again? Twelve-year-old Fox Mulder lay his head back on the couch’s pillow, and he folded his cold, shaking arms across his chest. He could hear his parents’ voices. They seemed to be angry, to be arguing. And they seemed so distant. His gaze wandered the room which was still lit as most of the downstairs was, and it rested on a framed photo of his sister. So pretty. So fun. And now out there somewhere in the cold. She didn’t have a blanket either. He wondered where she was. What was happening to her. Fear and loneliness consumed him. And he decided he’d wait for her--right here on this couch--every night until she returned. His parents’ voices grew louder, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying. He didn’t care to. Probably truth about him, about how he’d failed his sister, about how he’d failed them. All he knew for certain was that Samantha had disappeared while he’d supposedly been taking care of her, while he’d been responsible for her. His body quivered, and his tears streamed from between eyelids squeezed closed while his mouth opened wide in a silent scream. Fox Mulder lay on the couch, staring up at the bright white ceiling paper. But all he saw was another bright white light--a light which had stolen his sister, which had isolated him from his parents, which had plunged him into a darkness from which he would not escape. ********************************************** End "Light into Darkness" (4/4) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Did you know each week we feature a ONElist story? http://www.onelist.com How has ONElist changed your life? Please share your story. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The X-Files Creative Mailing List Archived at http://www.xemplary.com To subscribe, go to http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/xfcreative To unsubscribe, go to http://www.onelist.com and click on the Member Center button ---------------------------------- Imported to ATXC courtesy of NewsGuy news service http://newsguy.com