Surel and I were more than a little bored on the four-hour ride to Philadelphia (during which we were subjected to the driver's taste in music), so we decided - after laughing over a few too many in-jokes - to make this list.
I don't think I need a disclaimer, but I'll put one in for luck. The phrase "Bite Me" does not belong to Paramount, nor does this list. However, some characters contained therein (considering that this is, for the most part, P/T and Star Trek oriented) DO belong to Paramount, and I am not making any money. I'd love to, but I'm not, so . . . yeah.
Another word to the wise (I'll get on with it, I swear!!), some of the stuff in here is slightly R-rated. If it's not your thing or you're easily offended, all my stories are PG-13 - go, read!
In response to the final question, No, I do not know what we were thinking when we put this together, nor what I was thinking when I agreed to post it on my webpage. But, I did. So, here we have . . .
Bite Me - 100 Responses
Created by Surel and Harley
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
July 29, 2000
1. Here?
2. Now?
3. Again?
4. Didn't you have enough of that last night?
5. Where?
6. Why?
7. Later.
8. Okay.
9. In front of the Captain?
10. Only if you bite me first!
11. Is that an invitation?
12. Is that a threat?
13. May I?
14. Is that supposed to be a bad thing?
15. Would that be setting a bad example?
16. Won't that make the junior officers nervous?
17. I wouldn't want to get blood on your uniform.
18. Can it wait 'til tonight?
19. I would, but I'd hate to give Neelix ideas for dinner!
20. Harry, look the other direction!
21. I thought it was your turn.
22. Gladly.
23. Shouldn't we lie down first?
24. Take a number!
25. Bite me.
26. Isn't that against protocol?
27. Literally?
28. There are FOUR lights!
29. The Doctor doesn't need to know more about interpseicies mating relations than he already does.
30. Synchronised biting - a team sport.
31. Is that an order?
32. Would you like fries with that?
33. This is a PG-rated show!
34. Our quarters AREN'T soundproof!
35. "Lieutenant, this behavior is not condoned on my bridge!" -Janeway
36. I already have.
37. Hmm. When's the last time you took a shower?
38. Wait, let me go put in my dentures first. (Not ST I assume)
39. Are you sure you're up for it?
40. We don't really have time for that.
41. As long as you promise to enjoy it!
42. You know, that won't solve all our problems.
43. Isn't that dangerous?
44. What did Doc tell you about that?
45. You're supposed to be resting!
46. Didn't your mother tell you not to do that until you're married?
47. Remember what happened the LAST time we tried that?
48. Shouldn't we use protection?
49. Before or after? (C'mon, use your imaginations, folks!)
50. Would that mean we're engaged?
51. I just had my teeth sharpened!
52. To break the skin, or not to break the skin . . .
53. I just ate.
54. I want your autograph first. (There is absolutely no social commentary implicit in this response. None whatsoever!)
55. Let me go brush my teeth!
56. Don't hurt yourself!
57. I'm not ready for that step yet.
58. No pain, no gain.
59. Won't that hurt?
60. Oh, bite yourself.
61. Where's the dermal regenerator?
62. Bit of a masochist are we?
63. I told you, I don't bite!
64. I would, but I just ate some of Neelix's leola root stew.
65. I'll consider it.
66. I thought you had gotten over that phase.
67. Am I the first person you've asked?
68. Okay, but this is my first time.
69. How much will you pay me?
70. Don't you already have enough sets of bite marks?
71. Okay, but just a little bite.
72. Can't we try something new?
73. Is that a phaser in your pocket? (Thank you, Surel)
74. I'll get the whip, you get the handcuffs. (Also thank you to Surel!!)
75. Take off your clothes. I will not hurt you.
76. Say something!
77. With or without socks? (Do I want to know?)
78. Your wife might not like that.
79. What prompted this?
80. I thought it was only once every seven years!
81. Are your hormones running away from you again?
82. I told you not to watch so much television!
83. I'm only HALF-Klingon . . . !
84. Yikes!
85. I'm not sure I can do that, but I can tell you a story.
86. There's a reason for these turtlenecks.
87. Deactivate the Doctor, then we'll talk.
88. Say it in Klingon and I might.
89. I'm vegetarian.
90. I told you already, you won the bet!
91. "Please explain, do you derive pleasure from that action?" -Seven of Nine
92. This isn't the holodeck!
93. I don't know what you did with your last lover, but don't try it with me!
94. NO! (And sense creeps into the list . . . late, I know)
95. You know, the handbook on interspecies relations is three centimeters thick!
96. Thank you, come again.
97. We wouldn't want to create an atmospheric disturbance.
98. You know, I'm only doing this because I love you.
99. Don't they use that for torture on Rigel VII?
100. ::chomp:: (If all else fails, just follow the directions given . . . .)
Thank you, come again!