Accused
~~~~ a Y a ~~~~ Disclaimer: Special thanks to KatLady for being my beta and to Iris for hosting my
stories. I couldn’t do it without you. The hot desert sun beat
down once again, as it had done for thousands of years, stealing the moisture
from the planet’s surface and from anyone and anything on it. The planet was an almost barren dust ball and
the only life on its surface was growing or hiding under rocks during the heat
of the day. A few cactus-like plants had
adapted to the hot arid climate, but they were few and stood like sentinels on
this hot barren world. The lone human woman who
inhabited the planet staggered across its hot, dusty surface, and each step was
harder and more painful for her than the last.
She finally reached the small cave she called home and eased herself
into the cooler interior where she slid down the wall onto the rock floor. After blocking the cave’s entrance she finally
gave in to her heat-related fatigue and let sleep claim her. The dead rodent she had
captured during the night lay in a small bag next to her waiting to sustain her
for yet another day, and her crude hunting tools remained clipped to her waist. The sun continued on its
course across the sky once again baking the surface of the planet. ********** The Borg drone known as
Seven of Nine stood regenerating in her chamber in cargo bay two of the
Starship Voyager. This regeneration
process was a regular part of her daily routine, but tonight her process was
interrupted. “Seven of Nine, Tertiary
Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One, you must listen to
me,” was whispered repeatedly into her mind as she regenerated. Finally the voice registered in her subconscious
mind and she answered, “Who are you?” “Seven of Nine, don’t you
recognize me? I am the Borg and am here
because I need your help. Our minds are
one.” “NO! I am no longer a part of your collective and
I will not help you,” Seven mentally responded as fear started to take control
of her mind. How had the Queen found her
on Voyager and how did she communicate with her? “Ahhh,
I see the questions in your mind. You
WILL help me or I will destroy your small Voyager ‘collective’ and you know I
can do it. I am communicating through
your interlink node which I can access while you regenerate.” “What do you want?” Seven
answered because she knew the Queen had the power and the means to destroy
Voyager. With the whole Borg collective
at her disposal, Voyager didn’t stand a chance.
“Voyager is no threat to you. All
we are trying to do is find our way home.” “I can appreciate that,”
the Queen replied smugly. “And I will
promise to leave Voyager alone if you do what I ask. I have discovered evidence that your Captain
Janeway will cause irreparable harm to the collective in the future and I must
protect my collective. I need you to
destroy Kathryn Janeway.” “NO!” Seven mentally
cried. “She is my mentor and my
friend. I will not harm her or any other
member of this crew. Captain Janeway has
no interest in the Borg except to try to avoid encountering them. She is a single human woman and is no threat
to you.” “Not yet,” the Queen
replied, “but her future self will be. I
must stop her now and you WILL help me, willing or not.” “I will NOT help you,”
Seven firmly repeated. “I think you will,” the
Queen said in her oily voice as Seven’s mind went blank and her body started to
spasm. ********** The Doctor felt the
computer activate his program, and as he materialized in sickbay he almost
started to say, “Please state the nature……………,” but he caught himself before he
finished the sentence. Realizing that nobody was
there, he called upon his program to identify the person who activated
him. It took only a minute for him to
realize that Seven of Nine had triggered his activation but she was nowhere in
sight. “Computer, locate Seven of
Nine,” the Doctor commanded. “Seven of Nine is in cargo bay 2,” came the computer’s reply. After downloading his
program into his mobile emitter, the Doctor grabbed his equipment case and
hurried to cargo bay 2. The sight of Seven writhing on the floor greeted the Doctor as he entered
the cargo bay, and in an instant he was at her side running his scanner over
her body. Quickly reaching into his bag
he pulled out a hypospray and injected it into her
neck. The medicine took effect
immediately and he ordered the computer to transport him and Seven to sickbay. Seven materialized on a biobed and the Doctor immediately started to treat her and
to pinpoint her problem. It appeared
that her interlink node had been tampered with and he wondered how this had happened. After all, Seven had
been regenerating and nobody else had been in the cargo bay with her. “Doctor to Captain
Janeway,” he spoke quickly knowing that his Captain would want to know what was
happening with her crewmember. He wished
he could tell her, but so far he had no idea what happened to Seven. “Janeway here,” came the sleepy reply.
“What’s the problem Doctor?” “I’ve just transported Seven to sickbay and I’m not yet sure what happened to
her. Something went amiss with her interlink
node, but it now seems to be stabilized.
I’m not sure what the problem is, but hopefully Seven
will be waking up soon and maybe she can help figure out what went wrong.” “I’ll be right there,”
Janeway replied. “Janeway to Chakotay,” she
said as she tapped her commbadge. She soon got a sleepy reply from her First
Officer and she asked him to meet her in the corridor in five minutes. After quickly pulling on her uniform and
tidying her hair, she stepped into the corridor outside her quarters as
Chakotay stepped out of his. Together
they made the trip to sickbay. ********** “Report,” Janeway ordered
as she and Chakotay marched into sickbay a few minutes later. “What happened to Seven?” “She’s waking up now,” the
Doctor said as he checked the readings on the bed. “Hopefully she can give us some idea.” It took a few minutes, but Seven finally opened her eyes and looked about her in
confusion. “Why am I in sickbay?” she
asked as she pulled herself into a sitting position with Janeway offering
assistance. “Something happened to your
interlink node,” the Doctor answered her question. “Do you have any idea what happened?” Seven thought for a moment
and then answered, “No, I have no idea.
I was regenerating and that’s all I remember.” “I found you having
convulsions and your interlink node was causing your problem. I couldn’t find anything wrong with your
regeneration chamber and didn’t know if you had any idea what happened.” “No, none,” Seven replied
after giving it some thought. “I feel
fine.” “Everything seems to be normal
now,” the Doctor said after running his scanner over her once again and
re-checking the biobed readings. “You can return to your regeneration chamber,
but please let me know if you feel anything that isn’t normal.” “I will run a diagnostic
before I re-enter the chamber,” Seven offered as she slid off the bed. “Do you need any help?”
Captain Janeway offered. “No, I will be fine, but
thank you,” Seven answered as she walked out of sickbay. “I want to see you back
here at 0800 tomorrow morning for a checkup,” the Doctor called after Seven. “Yes Doctor,”
she replied as she walked through the doors and they closed behind her. ********** A week later Voyager had
just left the Ecosian trading post, which was an
orbiting space colony located along their path back to the Alpha Quadrant. They had made some good trades for supplies
that they needed and had met some very interesting aliens. Fortunately this was a friendly encounter and
everyone was feeling good about the deals they made. B’Elanna Torres was especially happy with the plasma
injectors she’d located in a small trader’s stall and knew she could put them
to good use. Humming to herself she
started back to the beam-out site so she could get started on installing them
into Voyager’s systems. These injectors
could increase Voyager’s efficiency and she was eager to get started. “Excuse me Lieutenant,
“Seven stated as B’Elanna turned to face her. “Could you please come with me for a
moment? I think I might have found some
interface couplings that you might be able to use.” B’Elanna eagerly altered her direction to join Seven as she marched toward a small vendor at the edge of
the hallway. “In here,” Seven stated as
she suddenly pulled B’Elanna behind the stall and
quickly plunged her injection tubules into B’Elanna’s
neck. “What!!!!!” B’Elanna almost screamed as she started to twist in Seven’s
grasp, but Seven was stronger and in a minute it was
all over. Looking Torres directly in her
eyes Seven gave her order, “You will remember nothing
of this encounter.” “Yes……..nothing……,” B’Elanna repeated part of the order as she dreamily
wandered back into the mainstream of the marketplace with no memory of Seven’s
encounter. “That’s 83 down and 58 to
go,” Seven mumbled as she walked back into the crowd in the marketplace to look
for her next victim. ********** “It is your fault that
Crewman Dawson is dead,” Seven almost screamed at Captain Janeway two weeks
later. They had just been attacked out
of nowhere by three small but heavily armed ships that thought they could
easily capture Voyager for themselves.
Voyager had defended herself but had taken some damage during the fight. “You must have provoked
them,” Seven continued to rant as she bent over the burned body of Maria Dawson
who had been manning the science station when the circuitry had taken a direct
weapons hit and the console exploded in Dawson’s face. “Why else would they have attacked us?” “Seven, calm down,” Captain
Janeway tried to speak to her crewman who was obviously distraught. “Voyager didn’t provoke them – they just
attacked us. You were here and saw what
happened. We were lucky to escape with
as little damage as we did. They
outnumbered us three to one,” she continued. “NO! It was your fault,” Seven continued screaming. “Everyone can see that it is your fault. It’s your fault that we’re here and it’s your
fault that Maria Dawson is dead. It’s all your fault,” Seven continued screaming. Turning to Chakotay who was
just standing there watching, Kathryn appealed to him for help as she paged the
Doctor to the bridge. “Commander, please
help me try to reason with her. She
seems to be hysterical.” Kathryn continued to try to
soothe Seven and after a minute looked up and wondered why Chakotay hadn’t
joined her. Seeing the expression on his
face filled her with fear. Apparently
Chakotay blamed her too and didn’t make any effort to help her with Seven. Looking
quickly around the bridge she saw the same expression on the faces of everyone
else. They all blamed her and she didn’t
know why. “What did you do now?” the
Doctor demanded of a stunned Janeway as he stepped off the turbolift
and headed directly to Dawson and Seven.
“Did you get us into another impossible fight?” “Doctor!” Kathryn cried in confusion. “I didn’t get us into any fight. Those ships attacked us out of nowhere and we
were lucky that we survived the encounter.
Why do you blame me?” “It’s all
your fault,” was all the Doctor would say as he ordered a beam out of
Dawson, Seven and himself to sickbay. Kathryn moved to her chair
and sat down. She was confused, hurt and
felt betrayed by everyone. She hadn’t
done anything to cause those ships to attack Voyager. In fact she wondered why Harry hadn’t picked
them up on sensors so they could avoid them.
Turning to look at him, his intense expression accused her so she didn’t
ask her question. “I’ll be in my ready room,”
she stated to everyone as she quickly left the bridge and sequestered herself
in her private place. She needed to
think, to recover and understand what she presently did not understand. ‘Why
did they blame her?’ ********** Weeks passed and every day
brought more undeserved blame onto Kathryn Janeway. Her crew accused her of everything that ever
went wrong, both behind her back and to her face. She had no idea what was happening so she
stayed to herself. She especially missed
her oldest friend, Tuvok, and her best friend, Chakotay. She couldn’t understand why they were
treating her as they were, and they wouldn’t even talk to her about it. Neither man would join her
for lunch or just one of their usual friendly conversations. They always had an excuse as did B’Elanna, Tom, Seven, the Doctor and even Neelix. Kathryn just
didn’t understand it and was suffering immensely because of it. Every time she would enter
the mess hall the crewmembers there would either leave or close ranks leaving
her outside the group all by herself. Neelix could hardly be civil to her and made no effort to
supply her with anything from the food line.
She always had to ask and then he would scowl before he would give it to
her. So she finally stopped coming and
subsisted on what she could get from her replicator
rations, which was mostly coffee, and what she could sneak from the mess hall
in the middle of the night. “Chakotay, what did I do?”
she cried as she lay on her bed waiting for sleep to claim her as she did every
night since her crew started to turn on her.
“What did I do that everyone hates me?” Once again she cried
herself to sleep while on the other side of the bulkhead Chakotay listened to
her cries and searched inside of himself for answers. He didn’t understand where
this hate for Kathryn Janeway was coming from because he was sure that he loved
her. But every time he wanted to make an
overture of friendship, it was like his brain was being squeezed and the pain
forced him to be cruel. He didn’t know
why, but he knew the others felt the same way he did and he knew trouble was
coming. Everyone hated Captain Kathryn
Janeway. ********** The woman in the cave
finally stirred and noticed that the temperature had dropped. For as hot as it got during the day, at night
it was cold and she needed to keep moving.
Nighttime was when she searched for food to sustain her and gathered
what moisture she could to keep her body functioning. She had placed a series of flat rocks
together to form a runway for what little moisture accumulated during the night
to run into a small container. She drank
everything in the container every morning to keep her going, and every night
she reset her water trap to capture whatever she could. She was in the process of adding another
series of rocks to capture even more moisture and it would soon be
finished. She desperately needed more
water. It was time to go in search
of today’s food. Sometimes she could
catch a small rodent or large insect, and occasionally she caught a larger
bird, but some days she went with nothing.
This planet was a far cry from hospitable and everything she got she had
to fight for. On rare occasions she
found some berries growing on small bushes under the rocks, and she tried to
bring some of the bushes back to her cave to grow the berries closer to her
home. So far she’d had no success with
berries, but at least the plants hadn’t died. She knew there were a few
larger predators lurking around and once or twice she had seen their shadows
during the night, but they always seemed to stay a safe distance from her. She wondered often about how they would act
if she weakened. They would probably
attack and kill her because they had to be just as hungry as she was. As long as she appeared strong and mobile
they would probably leave her alone. But she was getting tired, dehydrated,
malnourished and disheartened. Mostly
she was heartbroken because she just didn’t understand why she was here and why
they all hated her. Her cry of loneliness and
heartbreak pierced the lonely silence of the night. “Chakotaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy…………………whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?” ********** The attack came in the
middle of the night and without warning.
The large fighter ship fired on Voyager causing damage to the port
nacelle. Harry Kim was acting
Captain on the gamma shift and he ordered evasive maneuvers but it did no
good. Voyager was taking a pounding. “Captain to the bridge,” he
was finally forced to shout into his commbadge, and
even though he hated to call on Captain Janeway he knew that she was the only
one who could handle the situation and get them out of this predicament. The turbolift
doors opened and Captain Janeway marched onto the bridge and quickly assessed
the situation. Ignoring the looks her
crew was giving her, she marched to her chair which Harry quickly vacated. Chakotay and Tom Paris entered a minute later
and took their posts. She briefly wondered
where Tuvok was but didn’t have time to think about
it for long. Since it was the middle of
the night he was probably meditating and it took him a few minutes to bring
himself out of his meditative state. “Cut the engines and the
power to all systems except for minimal life support and weapons. Drop the shields. Play dead in the water,” the Captain ordered
as the crewmen on duty put aside their feelings and hastened to obey her
orders. “Vent a small amount of plaza so
it looks like we took a bad hit. Harry,
keep minimum power to life support and quietly arm two photon torpedoes. On my mark I want you to aim for their
propulsion system and their weapons. I
want them disabled, NOT destroyed. Do
you understand?” she asked as she turned to him. Giving her an insubordinate
look he replied, “Yes Sir.” Kathryn sighed and turned
back to the screen which was filling with the image of their approaching
attacker. “Harry, the instant you
fire the torpedoes I want you to raise shields.
Tom, quickly move us away from that ship. Remember, we want to disable her – not
destroy her.” “NOW!” Kathryn Janeway ordered as the torpedoes launched, the
shields went up and Voyager started to move away from the enemy ship. A moment later the
torpedoes struck and the enemy ship blew up in a spectacular manner. The force of the blast hurled Voyager away
from the ship and sent everyone on the bridge tumbling until the artificial
gravity could kick in and stabilize the ship. “Harry, I said DISABLE
them,” a furious Janeway yelled when she was able to regain her feet. “I didn’t tell you to destroy them.” She was clutching her left arm to her side
and it appeared to be broken as she was also trying to help a dazed Chakotay to
sit up. Several crewmembers were strewn
on the floor and were just starting to come around. “I aimed for their weapons
and propulsion just like you said,” Harry wailed. “It’s your fault they blew up.” “WHAT!!” Janeway
cried. “How is this my
fault?” At that moment the turbolift doors opened and Seven
stepped out and heard what was being said.
“It is your fault Captain Janeway,” she announced. “You ordered the destruction of that ship,
which is against Starfleet Regulations.
Two of your crewmembers are in sickbay critically hurt and this ship is
badly damaged. You are unfit to be her
captain and I hereby put you under arrest.” Janeway just stood there in
shock. Seven turned to Chakotay
who now had regained his seat and his senses.
“Commander, you should put the Captain in the brig and assume command of
this vessel. I will take command of the
bridge until you return from taking her to the brig. We will have a senior staff meeting once the
ship is again stable to determine the fate of Captain Janeway.” Chakotay took a minute to
consider what Seven was saying and it just didn’t feel right. But he looked around at the other members of
the bridge crew and realized that this is what should be done. Fighting his emotions that told him this was
all wrong, he grabbed Kathryn’s uninjured arm and guided her toward the turbolift. Tuvok had just come onto the bridge and heard what was
being said. “I will accompany you,”
Tuvok stated as he joined them in the turbolift. “Tuvok……Chakotay……what did
I do? I didn’t order that ship
destroyed,” she pleaded. “I specifically
told Harry to disable the ship and you heard me. They were about to destroy us,” she cried. Why didn’t they believe her? Chakotay was there and saw everything, but he
still didn’t believe her. “You killed them all,”
Tuvok stated in his inscrutable Vulcan manner and Kathryn closed her mouth and
accepted her fate. By now she just
didn’t care anymore. ********** The Doctor appeared at the forcefield that kept Kathryn Janeway a prisoner in her own
brig. “Lower the forcefield,”
he ordered the guard as he stepped into her cell and approached the bed that
she lay on. Kathryn didn’t move and
didn’t look at him. “I understand that you were
injured,” the Doctor stated briskly as he ran his scanner over her body. “A nice bump on the head and a broken arm,”
he announced to himself because Kathryn wasn’t paying attention. She was numb and in shock and was feeling
sick in the pit of her stomach. All she
was capable of doing was to stare at the ceiling. It only took a moment for
him to heal her head, and in five more minutes her broken arm was fixed. “That should take care of
you,” he stated briskly as he stepped out of the cell and ordered the forcefield raised. The Doctor had offered no
kind words to Kathryn and she didn’t speak to him at all. Within another minute the Doctor was gone and
she was once again alone in her small cell. ********** “It is a fitting punishment
for a captain who does not put the good of the crew before her own good,” Seven
announced to Kathryn as she and the senior staff stood in front of Kathryn’s
brig cell and read her fate from the padd in her
hand. “Do you have anything to say for
yourself?” Kathryn just stood there
with her head bowed and didn’t offer any defense to the false accusations they
were laying at her feet. If they hated
her this much, maybe this was the best way although a part of her wished they
would just kill her and get it over with.
At least that way she would die among her own kind and her body could be
consigned to float among her beloved stars. “Prepare yourself,”
Seven interrupted Kathryn’s thoughts.
“You will be beamed down to the surface of the planet in one hour.” A few minutes later
Chakotay, the Doctor and Seven were walking down the corridor and heading for
the turbolift.
“Aren’t we being a little harsh?” Chakotay asked and then grabbed his
head as a sharp pain penetrated his mind.
“Commander?” the Doctor
asked as he pulled out his scanner and checked Chakotay. “Just a headache,” Chakotay
joked. “Kathryn used to get them from
stress and the pressure of being captain and making the hard decisions. I must have inherited her headaches,” he said
as once more a pain pierced his head. “Ohhhhh,” he moaned, but the pain soon lessened as his
thoughts focused on Voyager instead of Kathryn. “We are doing what we must
to survive,” Seven stated in an effort to answer Chakotay’s
question. “She is to blame.” “For what?” the Doctor
asked and then his program flickered. “Doctor?” Seven asked.
“Are you having trouble with your matrix?” “I don’t know,” the Doctor
answered. “I’ll run a diagnostic as soon
as I return to sickbay. Commander, how
do you feel?” “Better,” Chakotay answered
as he entered the turbolift to return to the bridge
and beam Kathryn Janeway to her fate.
There would be no farewell and no chance to say goodbye. They would beam her from her cell directly to
the surface of the planet below where they all knew she would surely die. With no weapons or supplies on this barren
desert world, Kathryn Janeway didn’t stand much of a chance. ‘She’s to blame,’ was Chakotay’s thought as he initiated the
transport. ‘But what was she to blame for?’
The pain hit once again and he turned his thoughts from Kathryn. ********** How long had she been
here? Who was she really? She didn’t know for sure anymore as she
staggered toward the cave she called home.
Day had dawned, the sun was rising quickly and the hot wind was blowing,
baking the surface of the planet once again. She remembered being on a
starship – Voyager – and then she was here on the surface with nothing or
nobody else around. Why? She wasn’t thinking too clearly anymore but
she remembered that the others on Voyager all hated her. What did she do so wrong? She was exhausted, hot,
dehydrated and malnourished, and her weakened state was showing in the way she
walked, thought and acted. But because
of her lack of water, she wasn’t sweating and her grip was firm and sure on the
club she carried. Food was scarce and some
nights she had to roam further than she liked in order to find any. Last night was one of those nights, but she
was rewarded with the large rabbit-like creature that was hanging from the rag
tied around her waist. This creature
would feed her for two days. She hated
killing but needed to if she wanted to survive.
She wasn’t sure if she really wanted to survive, but sometimes her
instinct just took over and made the effort for her. As she pushed herself
toward her home she suddenly felt her instincts go to red alert and the hairs
on the back of her neck rise. Something
or someone was watching her.
Danger! She knew danger, of that
she was sure. Her cave was in sight as
she pushed her back against a rock and scanned the area for whomever or
whatever was watching. The light from
the sun was blinding but she finally saw a slip of a shadow pass between the
rocks to her left. Raising her club she
prepared to defend herself and the meal she had worked so hard to obtain. “Come and get me……….if you
can,” she screamed at the stalker. “I’m
to blame, I don’t deserve to live,” she screamed into the wind, but for the
life of her she couldn’t think where that had come from. ********** “Commander, what’s wrong?”
the Doctor asked as Chakotay staggered into sickbay in the middle of the
night. He helped him to the nearest biobed and pushed him down. “What happened?” he asked
again as Chakotay tried to gather his thoughts and suppress his pain. “I was dreaming of Kathryn
Janeway and wondering how she was making out on that planet. I dreamed she was in danger and I wanted to
help her. Then I woke up with this
splitting headache,” Chakotay answered as he held his head in his hands. The Doctor quickly pressed
a hypospray against his neck and Chakotay immediately
started to feel better. “Thanks Doc,” he said as he
rubbed his temples. “I was dreaming of
Kathryn and…………Doc, I was missing her.
Something isn’t right.” A quick
pain stabbed at his head. “She’s to blame,” the
Doctor replied as if he didn’t understand what Chakotay was talking about. “It’s her fault……but I miss her too.” His program briefly flickered. “But what is her fault and
why is she to blame?” Chakotay asked.
Another quick pain stabbed at his head. The Doctor thought about
that for a moment and then quietly stated, “I don’t know. I do know that since we left her on that
planet the crew has had fewer headaches.
Before we left her there I had 20 or 30 people or more in here every
night, and all complained that they got a headache when they thought good
thoughts or talked well about the Captain.
But since she’s been gone, the visits have almost stopped. Hmmmmmmm.” The Doctor’s thoughts were
interrupted when the sickbay doors swished open to admit Seven
who was clutching her head. “Seven, what’s wrong?” the
Doctor asked as he helped her to the biobed beside
Chakotay. “I have a piercing
headache,” Seven replied as she groaned and lay back on the bed. “This is getting
repetitive,” the Doctor complained as he pressed a hypospray
to Seven’s neck. “Chakotay had the same
problem a few minutes ago.” “I was regenerating when a
vision of the Captain flashed into my mind.
She was in danger and was calling out to me. I wanted to help her and then I woke up.” “What did she say,”
Chakotay asked because Seven’s dream was similar to his. “She asked me what was she
to blame for? Why
was it her fault? And she asked me to
help her. I think she was in danger and
I wanted to help her. My regeneration
cycle terminated and I immediately was struck with this headache,” Seven
concluded. “It feels much better now
Doctor. Thank you.” “Something isn’t right,”
Chakotay said. “Doctor, I want you to
test me and Seven. We’re going to think
about Kathryn until the headaches start and then we’ll think about something
else until they go away. There’s
something not right here.” The Doctor pulled out his
instruments and told them to lie back on the beds so he could begin. ********** The predator had been
stalking Kathryn Janeway for almost an hour and she could no longer stand in
the burning sun just waiting to defend herself. Her cave was close so she decided to make a
break for it. Once inside the cave she
knew she could defend herself because the only front on which she would be
vulnerable would be head on and she had her club. Plus the cave had a small opening. She made her break and
hugged the rock wall as she ran the short distance toward the cave
opening. A snarling growl behind her
alerted her to danger and allowed her a burst of speed that carried her to the
cave entrance. As she bent she pushed
aside the rock that was partially blocking the entrance and started to move
into the opening of the cave. The
wolf-like animal chose that moment to leap and she felt the animal’s claws
cleave their way across her ribs as if it were trying to hug her from behind,
and its sharp teeth bit their way deep into her left arm. Twisting quickly and using her right arm she
brought her club down on the animal’s head.
The animal let go of her arm and fell at her feet. Ignoring the pain of her injuries she managed
to hit it again and again until the light went out of its eyes and it lay dead
at her feet. It took a moment for
Kathryn to realize what had happened, then her legs gave way and she slid down
the side of the cave wall and onto the floor.
She fought to control her breathing and stay conscious to see how badly
she was hurt, but first she pulled the dead animal further into the cave so
that it wouldn’t attract unwanted visitors. She had previously placed a
large stone just inside the cave opening which she could roll into the opening to
keep anything unwanted out and to allow her to feel safe when she was in the
cave. Pulling herself up onto her feet
she rolled the stone into the opening to keep herself and her kill safe while
she got some rest and attended to her injuries.
With the rabbit and the wolf she wouldn’t have to hunt for more than a
week. She suddenly felt weak and
lightheaded so she lay down beside the wolf and let
her consciousness slip away and left her injuries unattended. ********** Almost an hour later the
Doctor laid his scanner aside and faced Chakotay and Seven. Tom Paris had entered sickbay with a headache
as the Doctor was doing his tests and stayed to be tested along with them. The Doctor didn’t like what
he’d found and he knew that they would like it even less for by now he had discovered
the problem. All three faces looked at
him and waited for his diagnosis. “Nanoprobes
– Seven’s nanoprobes to be exact,” the Doctor
reported. “Nanoprobes
that have been specifically programmed to cause pain to anyone who thought good
thoughts about Captain Janeway. I’ve
removed them from the three of you. These
nanoprobes caused you all to treat the Captain badly,
blame her for everything and encouraged you to throw her off the ship. As to my program, I have done a
self-diagnostic and my program was tampered with by Seven
almost two months ago. From that time
forward my program would flicker if I thought good thoughts about the Captain
or tried to help her in any way. If I
had persisted in helping the Captain my program would have gone offline and my
memory of the incident erased.” Everyone just sat on their
beds in stunned silence while the Doctor berated himself. “I told her I was her friend, but I
wasn’t. I was mean and cruel to her and
caused her pain. I am a doctor – my job
is to eliminate pain, not cause it,” he wailed.
“I am a bad friend and a bad person and should have been able to
overcome my programming.” He looked very
upset at his revelations. “I did this to the Captain?”
Seven asked as she looked around in shock.
“Why?” “Seven, when I pinpointed
when our problems began I looked back through the sickbay records. Right before you programmed the glitch in my
program you were brought to sickbay in the middle of the night with interlink node
problems which miraculously fixed themselves.
Do you remember?” the Doctor finally gained control of himself and tried
to help find answers to their problems. “Yes, I remember waking up
in sickbay but I don’t remember how I got here or why,” Seven responded. “Maybe we need to run a
diagnostic on your alcove. Maybe we can
get some answers there,” the Doctor suggested. “Let’s go,” Tom Paris
suggested. “We can do a diagnostic and
maybe figure out what is happening. We
also have to go back and get the Captain, if she’ll have us back.” A few hours later they had
their answer. “The Borg Queen wanted to
kill the Captain?” Tom asked. “But she’s
the Queen of a huge collective and we’re only a small ship far from home and no
threat to her.” “I believe she stated that
in the future the Captain would cause irreparable damage to the collective and
she wanted to avoid that. She wanted to
protect the collective just like Captain Janeway wants to protect us,” Seven
stated in her most unemotional voice, but her voice quivered nonetheless. “Tom, go to the bridge and
turn this ship around. We’re going back
for our captain,” Chakotay announced. He
was relieved that no pain shot through his head. ********** The Doctor was preparing to
treat the crew and destroy the rogue nanoprobes in
their systems when the doors to sickbay swished open and Tal Celes and Jenny Delaney staggered in. “Doctor,” gasped Jenny as
she and Celes supported each other to the biobeds. “We have
massive headaches and need your help.” The Doctor quickly helped
them onto biobeds and scanned them. “I can help,” he offered as he pressed hyposprays to their necks. “We miss the Captain,” Celes wailed. “We
were sitting in the mess hall talking about her and how much we missed her when
these piercing headaches started. What’s
wrong?” “Your headaches will feel
better in a minute,” the Doctor stated, “but our feelings for our captain will
take a while to reconcile. I just hope
we have the chance to make it up to her.” ********** Burning pain and terrible
thirst woke Kathryn Janeway from her restless sleep and brought her back to
consciousness. With her mind cloudy and
not able to think clearly she fought to remember where she was and what had
happened. Kathryn tried to push
herself into a sitting position, but sharp pain stung her ribs and her left arm
throbbed. Light was pouring into the
cave around the rock she rolled in front of the opening, so she was able to see
around her. A dead wolf lay near her
feet and a small dead animal was still tied to her waist. She removed the small animal and laid it by
the wolf. ‘Food, she thought to herself, I’ve got to eat.’ She was hot – so very hot –
and the word fever sprung into her
mind. Since she was clad only in her tank
top because of the extreme heat, she was able to see the teeth punctures in her
arm, and she wiggled herself around until she could see the torn and bloody
tank top that barely still covered her ribs.
What happened that she had these injuries? Her mind just wouldn’t cooperate. She finally looked at the
wolf and realization dawned. She had
fought the wolf and won. Why didn’t she
feel better about it? Forcing herself
to move to the cave opening, she shifted the rock enough to allow her to
stagger out into the hot sun in search of her water supply. The collection system was set up just to the
side of the entrance and under some rocks, but when she checked her container
she found it empty. The sun had
evaporated whatever she had collected so she wouldn’t be able to do anything
about her wounds or her thirst. How long had she been
unconscious? She didn’t know so she went
back into the cave to start skinning the meat and preparing it so it wouldn’t
spoil on her. At least she wouldn’t have
to hunt for a while. It took all her energy to
skin the wolf and the rabbit and prepare them.
She kept a small fire banked at the back of the cave which she had
started shortly after she arrived and claimed the cave as her own. Using Chakotay’s
stick and hair method she managed to get the fire started and she used it for
cooking whenever she caught something to eat.
She kept it going by feeding it pieces of the outer skin of the cactus
which were of no use to her, and pieces of dried brush that she found under
rocks. The thought of eating raw flesh
nauseated her so she was especially careful to keep it going. But then the thought that
she could kill in order to survive and then prepare the insect, bird or animal
for consumption nauseated her too. Starfleet’s
survival training was the one thing that Kathryn hadn’t excelled at. She hated it even though she passed it with
flying colors. This child of the 24th
century was learning survival fast, although not willingly. After skinning and
butchering the animals Kathryn placed the meat into a container she previously
fashioned from part of a cactus and placed the container in the embers of the fire
to roast slowly. It would take the better
part of a day before she would eat any of it, but at least it was food and
would keep her alive for another week or two. Once her tasks were
finished she lay on the floor of the cave and let
sleep claim her feverish exhausted body. ********** “We have about a month to
travel to get back to that planet,” Harry Kim stated as he studied his
charts. Everyone on Voyager was feeling
sick at the way they had treated their captain, and some like Harry had to have
his friends’ support because his feelings threatened to overwhelm him. It was so bad that the Doctor formed support
groups so the crew could deal with their guilt, but since he wasn’t a trained
counselor he wasn’t sure how well he was doing.
He knew he wasn’t doing that well for himself. “I don’t know if she can
survive that long,” Harry almost cried.
Tom Paris immediately moved to the upper deck to pat him on the
shoulder. “This is Kathryn Janeway
we’re talking about. If anyone can
survive it will be her. We’ll find her
and beg her on bended knee to come back to us, if need be. None of us feel good about what happened, but
Harry, we’re all equally guilty. It’s
not just you. Not a single one of us was
nice to her.” “I know,” Harry moaned,
“but I feel like I’ve kicked my own mother.” “I’m not sure Kathryn would
appreciate that analogy,” Chakotay added, “but then again you were always like
a special child to her. We’ll find
her.” ‘We HAVE to,’ he thought to himself. ‘Hang
in there Kathryn,’ he prayed. He had
a lot to make up to her, as did they all. ********** The Doctor was really having
trouble dealing with what had happened to Kathryn Janeway, and he and Seven
were in sickbay trying to console each other. “I caused her pain and
suffering, and all she ever showed me was kindness,” Seven stated in her
wavering voice. “I should have been able
to resist the Queen. I should have known
that something was wrong.” “I should have remembered
my oath,” the Doctor lamented, not willing to be outdone in the guilt
department by Seven.
“I didn’t even treat her with compassion when she was injured, and I
would have willingly operated the transporter to send her to that hell hole
without even saying ‘good-bye’. What’s
wrong with me and where were my ethical subroutines when I needed them?” “I deleted them, or at
least adjusted them to affect your feelings for the Captain,” Seven
offered. “It wasn’t your fault.” “It wasn’t your fault
either,” the Doctor intoned. “You were
being manipulated by the Queen without your knowledge. It wasn’t either of our faults, but why do I
feel so bad?” “I do not like these
feelings,” Seven added with conviction.
“I am not used to feeling guilt and sadness and I find the emotions……..uncomfortable.” “You and everyone else,”
the Doctor quipped. “She may never forgive me,”
Seven continued. “I will miss my
mentor. The absence of her presence is
difficult to accept.” “Hopefully we won’t have to
be without her for long. I will make it
up to her,” the Doctor felt better after stating. “We will all make it up to her.” Seven agreed. ********** “CHAKOTAY!!” The shouted voice woke Kathryn
Janeway from her fitful slumber and she slowly came back to her painful
reality. She was hot – very hot –
and when she put her hand against her forehead she could feel heat radiating
off her. Her left arm radiated pain and
when she looked at it she noticed that it was swollen and red. When she tried to move it, the pain stopped
her immediately. She wiggled herself
into a sitting position and twisted to look at her ribs, which stung
terribly. She had to move some of the
tatters of her tank top out of the way and tear some loose that had stuck in
her blood as it dried, but her left side was sliced by four straight lines
caused by the claws of the wolf. The
cuts were painful and deep, but at least they weren’t red and swollen. They were covered by dried blood and dirt
from the floor of the cave except for where she had pulled the fabric loose
from her skin. There the cuts were once
again oozing blood. Her right side also
had some claw marks, but her left side was the worst. Kathryn sat back against
the cave wall and tried to think about what she should do, but her thoughts
were muddled and she tried to focus her mind. ‘It must be the fever,’ she thought to herself. ‘I
can’t think straight.’ ‘Water,’ she
finally pinpointed a thought in her muddled mind. ‘I need
water.’ Moving to the rock blocking
the entrance to the cave, Kathryn struggled to move it aside enough to allow
her to slip through the opening to check her container. The sun was only starting its climb over the
heavens so there was some water in the container. Grabbing the container in both hands, Kathryn
quickly drank it and replaced the container to catch more moisture. She returned to the cave to rest and nurse her wounds. It took all her strength to
roll the rock back in front of the opening of the cave, and when she was
finished it wasn’t fully blocking the opening like she would have preferred. But she was exhausted, sick and not thinking
clearly. ‘I’ll move it later,’ she thought as she staggered to the back of
the cave and lay beside the small fire where she had
spread out the wolf’s skin to dry. The
soft fur beckoned her and she laid her head and upper body on the soft fur and
immediately fell asleep. *********** The starship Voyager was
making its way as quickly as possible toward the unnamed planet where they had
stranded their captain almost 2 months ago.
With renewed vigor and a sense of guilt that could have filled three
starships, the crew worked around the clock to make sure Voyager was in top
condition and able to maintain the high warp speed that Chakotay insisted they
utilize. They had one or two brushes
with hostile ships, but managed to stay in one piece and keep moving. B’Elanna nursed her engines almost around the clock and Tom
often worked two shifts in the pilot’s chair to try to shave time off the
return trip. Chakotay spent hours in
Kathryn’s ready room and in her quarters making sure that everything was neat,
tidy and just as she left it. He didn’t
want her to think he was trying to take over her job or her spaces, and he did
his best to add a few things he thought she would like. A new sand painting adorned the space above
her bed and several new beautifully crafted wood carvings were placed where
they were easily visible. Her bathroom
was now filled with bath oils, bath salts, shampoo, soaps and other items that
would enhance her bathing experiences.
Since everyone on the crew knew of their captain’s love of a good bath,
small gifts kept popping up outside her quarters and Chakotay carefully placed
them all where she could easily find them.
When she came back…………he didn’t want to think of the possibility that
she might not come back……..she would have a wonderful supply of bath items. The rest of the crew spent
a great deal of their off-duty time meeting with the Doctor or in groups trying
to resolve their guilt and plan a way to welcome their captain back, if she was
still alive. Nobody was sure how she
would feel or if she would forgive them, but they all wanted to try anyway. Nobody wanted to consider that she might
already be dead. Neelix wanted to have a party for her, the Doctor wanted
to perform for her and other crewmembers also had ideas. But nobody was sure what to do and everyone
was afraid of what she would think of them. It was Mike Ayala who
finally came up with the idea that everyone endorsed. A committee was formed and the crew all went
to work to plan the event. With a goal
in mind the crew was able to put their guilt aside, at least for a while. ********* The low growl brought a
spark of awareness to Kathryn Janeway’s mind, but it
took a few minutes for the sound to penetrate her fuzzy senses and alert her to
danger. Pushing herself into a
sitting position she looked around in confusion trying to clear her mind enough
to understand what woke her. It also
took a moment to focus her eyes. She looked around and
gasped as she saw two wolf heads trying desperately to push their way through
the small space between the rock and the cave wall. She quickly remembered that she was too tired
to make sure the rock was fully in place when she got her water earlier, and
she planned to finish moving the rock once she’d rested. Grabbing her club she screamed as she pushed
herself up and moved toward the cave opening.
She tried to transfer the club to her left hand so she could use her
right to steady herself against the cave wall, but it was so swollen that it
was painful to move it and her swollen fingers wouldn’t move at all. Staggering along without support, she swung
the club wildly as she approached the opening.
The wolves growled louder
and pushed harder, but her club impacted with one head and it quickly withdrew
yelping in pain. She missed the other
head, but that wolf also withdrew.
Desperately she threw all her slight weight against the rock and finally
managed to move it so that the wolves couldn’t push their way in. Her emotions and her
efforts in the extreme heat took their toll and she slid down to the floor
where she sat and tried to control her breathing. Knowing that the wolves wouldn’t leave
anytime soon, she pondered how she was going to get her water. It was too dangerous to roll the rock away to
get out. She would have to try to
outwait them, but she was already thirsty and didn’t know how much longer she could
go without any water at all. She crawled back to her
wolf skin and once again lay down on it.
She would soon have to eat, but fortunately her recent kills allowed her
the luxury of staying in the cave for quite a while. Only her need for water would drive her
out. She lay there thinking about
Voyager and her life before she was stranded on this planet. “What did I do?” she wailed
as the hurt once again rose in her chest and threatened to suffocate her. She missed her ship and her crew and still didn’t
understand what she’d done wrong. She
especially missed Chakotay, but he hated her now as did everyone else. But why? Afraid to cry because she
couldn’t afford to lose the moisture, she rolled herself into a miserable and
painful ball and let sleep claim her.
She didn’t have the energy for much else, and at this point she almost
wished for death. Before long she was asleep
and once again dreaming of a happier life where she and Chakotay were
together. Often her dreams included a
family – one child with red hair and brown eyes, and one child with black hair
and blue eyes – a perfect combination of both of them. These were the dreams that it was especially
difficult to wake from and return to the reality of her solitary life. ********** Twenty-two days later the
starship Voyager swooped into orbit of the barren planet where they’d stranded “Start scanning,” Chakotay
ordered as Harry Kim quickly set to work.
Everyone on the bridge eagerly waited for word that Kathryn had been found. Almost an hour had passed
and the scans showed nothing alive on the planet’s surface except for a few
animals, some insects and some plants.
Disappointment was in everyone’s posture and hope was fading from their
faces when Chakotay couldn’t stand it anymore. “We’re going down,” he
stated as he almost jumped from his seat.
“Tom, Tuvok, Harry – you’re with me.
“Chakotay to the Doctor,” he tapped his commbadge. “Yes Commander?” the Doctor
answered. “Meet us in transporter
room two in ten minutes. Bring a medkit.” “Aye Sir,” the Doctor
responded as he hurried to download his program into his mobile emitter. The away team materialized
at the same coordinates that “It’s so hot and barren,”
Harry moaned. “All I see is dust and
dead bushes. It has to be 100 degrees.” “It’s
136 degrees and you have to know where to look in a desert,” Chakotay offered
as he started scanning. “ “What about water?” Tom
asked. “Since you’re the Indian guide,
where would she find water on this fireball?” “Since we detected no
lakes, oceans, streams or any other water source in our scans, my guess would
be that she had to collect moisture overnight because desert nights are
generally very cold. So we look for
caves to use as shelter and any device she might have built to collect water.” “ “That was a week,” Tom said
as he looked sadly at Tuvok. “We’re
talking almost two months here. There’s
a difference.” Tuvok nodded his agreement
but didn’t say anything. Because of the heat nobody
wanted to talk as they trudged along, and by the time they reached their goal
all of them except for the Doctor and Tuvok were sweating profusely and had
long since shed their uniform jackets and turtlenecks. Since Vulcan was hot and dry Tuvok was used
to the heat, but even he was starting to get uncomfortable in the intense heat
of this planet’s sun. “How can anything survive
in this heat?” Harry asked as he leaned against the closest rock to rest. The one-half mile trek had drained all of
their energy and the only one of them that still looked like he had any energy left
was the Doctor. Chakotay and Tuvok
didn’t look as bad as Tom and Harry, but they were feeling the effects as well. “Let’s rest for ten minutes
and then we’ll begin our search,” Chakotay offered as he moved to a spot where
the rock formation was casting some shade.
“Get out of the sun and drink some water. You need to keep hydrated.” Everyone eagerly complied. ********** “Noooooooooooo…………don’t
leave me!” “So hot,” she muttered as
she tried to push herself up with her arms, but her left arm wouldn’t cooperate
and she collapsed in pain. It was too
dark to see anything, but she used her right hand to feel her left arm and was
surprised to find that it was burning hot and terribly hard and swollen. Then she remembered the wolves and what
happened to her. “Too weak……can’t go out,”
she muttered as she relaxed once again and let sleep claim her. Outside of the cave the
wolves kept their patient vigil until the sun started its climb into the
sky. Then they left to find shelter and
get out of the sun’s light. ********** “Let’s move,” Chakotay
ordered as he rose to his feet to begin the search for “Snakes?” Tom cried.
“I hate snakes.” “Then be careful,” Chakotay
admonished. It was unbearably hot and
two hours later they still hadn’t found any sign of “Take a break,” Chakotay
ordered into his commbadge as he and Tuvok compared
what they’d found so far. “We need to
conserve our strength, and drink plenty of water. If you need more, have Voyager beam some down
to you.” All the men except for the
Doctor had long ago shed their jackets and turtlenecks and some were even
thinking of shedding their t-shirts, but the Doctor admonished them to keep the
shirts on to protect their skin. He also
insisted they keep spraying themselves with sun block, and had Voyager beam
down wide brimmed hats for everyone.
They were glad for the protection and nobody teased about how funny they
looked. Another hour passed with no
sign of their captain but Chakotay spied animal tracks. “It looks like two large dogs passed through
here and recently,” he observed as he and Harry studied the tracks and where
they led. “They lead over to that large
outcropping. Let’s take a look.” Chakotay and Harry
approached carefully, constantly scanning for the animals that made those
tracks. “They’re probably sleeping in a
cave or under some rocks,” Chakotay stated as he continued to scan. “It looks like they’ve been hanging out here
for several days. Some of the tracks are
older and less defined than others, but there are definitely two animals. The wind would have wiped out anything older
than a couple of days so they could have been here for longer. I just can’t tell.” As they moved closer to
what appeared to be a cave opening blocked by a rock, Chakotay spied other very
faint tracks. “These appear to be
human. Judging by the size of the
tracks, it’s “Tuvok, have Voyager beam
your team to our coordinates. We’ve
found some tracks that I believe are the Captain’s and there’s a blocked cave
just ahead. There are also some animal
tracks leading toward the cave and they look like large dogs or wolves. Be careful.” “Acknowledged,” Tuvok
responded and Chakotay was sure he heard hope in his voice. In only a few moments the
rest of the away team joined Chakotay and Harry, and they moved toward the
blocked cave. “Chakotay, look at this,”
Tom Paris called as he discovered “She has to be in that cave,”
Chakotay remarked as he continued to scan.
“Commander, I have located
two large animals lying under an overhang about 50 yards west of the cave
opening,” Tuvok reported as he drew his phaser and
prepared to defend the team if they were attacked. “Relax Tuvok,” Chakotay put
his hand on Tuvok’s phaser. “Those animals won’t come out until it gets
dark. Even they mind the heat. And I would guess that unless we threatened
them, they’ll leave us alone.” After finally reaching the
cave the men called Kathryn’s name, but they received no answer. Finally they pushed the rock away from the
opening. They had to get on their hands
and knees to push the rock and enter the cave, and Chakotay was the first to
enter. Once inside the cave the men were
able to stand but the cave was relatively small. With the rock moved away sunlight that could
pass around the men standing in front of the entrance illuminated the inside of
the cave revealing When Chakotay realized it
was a wolf skin that Kathryn was lying on, he was amazed. How could his petite child of the 24th
century Captain have killed a large wolf with her bare hands? Chakotay was shocked at how
thin, sick and haggard she looked, but then guilt set in when he realized that
they were responsible for her condition.
Not wanting to alarm her,
but wanting her to know that they were here to bring her home,
Chakotay knelt beside her and moved to shake her shoulder. Once his hand rested on the bare skin not
covered by the tank top he was alarmed at the heat radiating off of her. “Doctor, come here,”
Chakotay called as he put his hand on her forehead. “She’s burning up.” Before the Doctor could
take his place on her other side Tom and Tuvok moved
away from the cave opening so more light could enter the cave. Chakotay then noticed her arm and her shredded
and bloody shirt. “What’s this?” he asked as
he looked more closely. “It looks like
she has been bitten and clawed.” Quickly opening his medkit the Doctor scanned “We have to get her back to
Voyager quickly,” the Doctor reported.
“She has been bitten and clawed most likely by one of the animals we
discovered, and she has a massive infection.
Her fever is at a dangerous level and she’s badly dehydrated. It’s amazing that she’s still alive, and if I
don’t treat her soon she won’t be.” The Doctor reached into his
kit and pulled out his hypospray. After making several adjustments he pressed
the instrument to her neck and discharged its contents. “Doctor to Voyager,” he
tapped his badge, but Voyager didn’t respond. “We have to move out of
this cave,” Chakotay said. “I’ll carry
Kathryn out. Tom, Harry, you move the
rock back into place in case there’s something in here that Kathryn wants. Tuvok, keep an eye
on those animals. Let’s go.” Chakotay carefully slid his
arms under Kathryn’s shoulders and knees and lifted her into his arms being
careful of her arm and side. He was
surprised at how light she was, but then the guilt set in again and he realized
that the crew did this to her. He had to
bend over almost double to get out through the cave opening, but once outside
it was only a moment before the transporter beam claimed them from the planet
from hell. “Put her in the surgical
bay,” the Doctor ordered as they materialized in sickbay. He quickly moved to gather his instruments
while Chakotay laid her carefully on the biobed. It was only a moment before the Doctor was
back and the diagnostic arms of the bed closed over her as he and Tom went to
work to determine her condition. Chakotay drew Tuvok
aside. “Tuvok, take the bridge and please
notify the crew that we have the Captain back.
Tell them that we don’t yet know her condition, but we’ll keep them
advised. Once the Doctor knows how soon
she’ll recover we’ll let them know.” He
didn’t even want to think that maybe she wouldn’t. “Yes Sir,” Tuvok responded
as he turned and left sickbay. Chakotay
could see that Tuvok felt as guilty as the rest of them. Chakotay decided to wait in
the Doctor’s office and had just settled himself when the sickbay doors burst
open and B’Elanna Torres stormed in. She spied Chakotay immediately and walked
directly to him. “How is she?” “We don’t know yet, but Tom
and the Doctor are working on her. It
appears she was bitten and clawed by a large dog or wolf and the wounds are
infected. She never gained consciousness
so she doesn’t yet realize that we came back for her and that she’s on
Voyager,” Chakotay reported as B’Elenna settled in a
chair across the desk from him. “Then I guess we wait,” B’Elanna responded as she settled herself more comfortably
in her chair. Chakotay knew when not to
argue with her, and besides he was really glad for her company. ********** Mike Ayala was busy in holodeck 2 when word came that the captain was home. After giving a jump for joy, he settled back
into working on the holodeck program that would be
part of the crew’s gift to their captain.
This was a labor of love for him because he had been in love with
Captain Janeway almost since the first time he’d laid eyes on her. Knowing that she would
never allow herself to have an affair with a crewmember, he resigned himself to
admiring her from afar, but every time there was a party or any event that
involved dancing he made it a point to ask her to dance at least twice. She always gave him a lovely smile as she
accepted his hand, and he knew they looked nice as a couple as they
danced. He dreamed of each dance for
weeks after they happened, and he was sure he was more in love with her now
than he ever was before. When he realized that
Chakotay was falling for her too, he backed even further away. Chakotay was his friend and the captain
seemed to like and trust him even more than as a friend. He knew they weren’t a couple – yet – but
they were perfect for each other and everyone on the crew could see it. He and Chakotay often talked about her so he
knew that Chakotay dreamed of them one day being a couple. He sighed as he bent over
his console. The guilt at what he and
the crew had done to her was eating him alive, but this program was his way of
making amends. If only she’d accept
it………….. The holodeck
doors swished open and when Mike looked up he saw Samantha Wildman enter. “Hi Sam,” he said as she
approached him. “Hi Mike,” she smiled back
at him. “I hear the Captain is back but
they’re not sure yet about her condition.” “What?” Mike asked because
he hadn’t heard anything about this. “She has a massive
infection and the Doctor is trying to save her life,” Sam answered softly. “Apparently she was clawed by a large animal
and if we had been much later she wouldn’t have made it.” “I didn’t know,” Mike said
as he stared at the keypad. “Mike, don’t worry,” Sam
said kindly as she placed her hand over his.
“We have the best doctor in the galaxy so she’s sure to recover. How’s the program coming?” Mike smiled up at Sam. “Almost finished,” he said as he wondered
whether Sam would go out on a date with him.
If he couldn’t have Captain Janeway, at least Sam was pretty and a lot
of fun. “What are you doing
tonight?” Mike asked. “I’m not sure,” Sam replied
as she looked up at him. “Why, do you
need help?” “No, I just thought maybe
you, Naomi and I could have dinner together in the messhall. “Sounds good,” Sam smiled
as she turned and left the holodeck. ********** Three days later Kathryn
Janeway had not regained consciousness and Chakotay was worried. “Why won’t she wake up?” he
asked the Doctor as he continued to sit by her bedside just like he’d done for
the past three days except for his duty shifts. “There’s no medical reason
why she’s not awake. My guess would be
that she just doesn’t want to wake up,” the Doctor stated as he checked the biobed’s readings yet again. “I’ve managed to eradicate most of the
infection and I’ve healed her wounds.
The Captain that we knew before would have been back on duty already no
matter how much I admonished her to take it easy. We have to face the possibility that the
Kathryn Janeway we knew and abused is gone, and that this person is very
different. Life’s experiences often
change us, and no matter how much of a pedestal we put the Captain on, she is
very much a woman when it’s all said and done.
She’s a woman with deep feelings who has been
deeply hurt and betrayed by everyone she presently holds dear. To be honest Commander, I don’t know what to
expect from her anymore.” Chakotay looked devastated
as he reached for Kathryn’s hand. “Come
back to us Kathryn. Let us show you how
much we love you,” he pleaded. Kathryn Janeway slept on. ********** The programming was
finished, the signs were ready and everything else set up, but the guest of
honor slept on in sickbay much to the dismay of the crew. It had been a week and no matter how hard the
Doctor tried, Kathryn Janeway would not wake up. Everyone was worried and on
edge. They all prayed that their Captain
would forgive them and take her rightful place on Voyager. But they needed her awake in order to make
their apologies and she just would not wake up.
Nobody knew what to do. The Doctor was desperate by
this time because it seemed that every 30 seconds someone would either comm.
him or pop their head into sickbay to see if there was any progress. Of course Commander Chakotay practically
lived in sickbay and this was cramping the Doctor’s style. He liked to sing during the night when nobody
was around and he liked to spend time in the holodeck
during his free time. With the Captain
taking up what seemed like permanent residence in sickbay, he could do none of
his personal activities and he was getting annoyed. “Perhaps I could transport
the Captain to her quarters and you could watch her there,” he suggested on the
third day, but the horrified looks that Chakotay and Tuvok gave kept him from
making that suggestion again. Everyone was at a loss as
to how to wake her up when on the eighth day two alien ships dropped out of
warp and opened fire on Voyager.
Chakotay rushed to the bridge as Voyager started to rock from the hits
to her shields. With Chakotay gone, the
Doctor spent his time trying to keep his supplies from flying off their shelves
and trying to keep the Captain secure on her biobed. The Doctor was starting to
wonder how much more they could take when suddenly everything stopped rocking
and it became eerily silent. After picking
his hypospray off the floor and placing it back on
its tray, the Doctor turned and looked straight into the wide open blue eyes of
Captain Kathryn Janeway who was sitting up on her bed and looking around. “Captain!” he joyfully
cried as he rushed to her side. “You’re
awake!” he exclaimed as he gave her a big hug. “What are they doing to my
ship?” she asked as she looked around in confusion. “It’s not my fault. How did I get here?” “We came back for you and
found you in a cave. You were sick, so
we transported you to sickbay and I performed yet another miracle to save your
life. I’m so glad to see you Captain and
we know it’s not your fault.” Kathryn just looked long
and hard at the Doctor before she lay back down on the bed. “How soon until I can get
out of here?” “You can leave anytime you
want. Your injuries are healed and the
infection is gone,” the Doctor responded.
“Do you want to know what your injuries were?” “Thank you,” was all that Kathryn
said as she slid off the bed and headed slowly for the door as her unused
muscles adapted to being used again. “Do
I still have quarters on Voyager?” “Of course you do. Your quarters are as you left them,” the
Doctor replied. “We’re all so sorry for
what happened, but the Borg queen was involved and…………………..” The Doctor realized he was
speaking to thin air as the sickbay doors swished shut behind the Captain. Since everyone was busy
with the attack, Kathryn was able to get to her quarters without encountering
anyone. As the doors swished open after
she entered her code, Kathryn strode into the rooms she had missed so
much. She looked around quickly and did
indeed find everything as she left it with a few attractive additions, so she
threw herself onto the couch and started to cry. It didn’t take long until
she had cried herself to sleep. ********** “Doctor to Commander
Chakotay,” was heard on the bridge as the crew stood down from red alert and
assessed the damage done by the two ships that fled when they realized that
Voyager had superior firepower. “Chakotay
here.” “I just wanted to let you
know that the Captain has returned to her quarters,” the Doctor announced. “She’s awake?” Chakotay
asked and he had everyone’s attention. “She woke up while we were
being attacked and asked what you were doing to her ship. She said it wasn’t her fault and then she
then asked how she got back on Voyager, and shortly after that she asked if she
could leave sickbay and if she still had quarters. I said ‘yes’ and before I could explain what
happened……about the Borg Queen and all……she disappeared through the doors. I just checked and she’s asleep in her
quarters.” “Thank you Doctor,”
Chakotay replied with relief in his voice.
“We’re all glad for that news.” ********** Kathryn Janeway awoke with
the feeling that she was not alone. As
consciousness returned she remembered that she was back on board Voyager and
apparently still the Captain. She figured that they wouldn’t still call her
Captain if in fact she’d been replaced, and she wouldn’t still have the
captain’s quarters. As her mind cleared her
guard went up – someone was in the room with her, but she didn’t want them to
know she was awake until she figured out who it was. But then she thought about it and the answer
was obvious. There was only one person
on board Voyager who would be brave enough to come into her room uninvited. “What do you want?” she
whispered as she opened her eyes and looked at her First Officer who was
sitting in the chair across from the sofa.
“Why are you here?” “I was worried about you
Kathryn, and I’m always here when you’re sick or injured. I wanted to be here in case you needed
anything and I wanted to be the first to welcome you home and explain what
happened. “What is there to
explain? I was to blame for everything
so everyone wanted to get rid of me,” Kathryn replied with bitterness in her
voice. “Why don’t you leave me alone?” The bitterness in Kathryn’s
voice let Chakotay know just how she felt.
This wasn’t going to be easy. “Listen to me…….please. What happened is that unbeknownst to Seven the
Borg Queen contacted her through her interlink node while she was regenerating and
told her that a future you would be a threat to the collective. The Queen wanted to stop you from destroying
her collective. When Seven
adamantly refused to help, the Queen rendered her unconscious and forcefully
downloaded nanoprobes into her system that would turn
everyone against you and blame you for everything. I’m sure you remember that night the Doctor
called us to sickbay. Seven didn’t
understand her feelings or even know what she was doing, but was impelled to
infect everyone on the crew by injecting these nanoprobes
into them. She reprogrammed the Doctor
to act the same way. The sad part is
that she doesn’t remember anything about injecting people or reprogramming the
Doctor. Nobody realized what was
happening – even me,” Chakotay replied sadly as he bowed his head in shame. “Our first clue that
something was wrong came when I dreamed about missing you and woke up with a
horrific headache. I dreamed you were in
danger and I wanted to help you. I went
to sickbay and while I was there Seven came in with
the exact same problem. We both had been
dreaming about how much we missed you and we sensed that you were in danger. The Doctor became suspicious. Once we stopped thinking about you our
headaches went away without any medication.
When we thought good thoughts about you, they immediately came back. The Doctor started testing us, and while he
was doing that Tom Paris came in with the same problem so he got tested
too. Apparently this was a common
problem that the Doctor had been facing night after night, but he didn’t think
much about it until Tom, Seven and I all came in at the same time.” “His tests uncovered the nanoprobes. Seven
was shocked and very upset that she could have been a part of this horrific
scenario. We then looked at the Doctor’s
programming and found where Seven had adjusted his
programming. Needless to say, the Doctor
was a mess of guilt and shame – as were we all.
Further diagnosis of Seven’s alcove revealed the Queen’s purpose and
showed us how this all happened.
Everyone was devastated because we all love you Kathryn. Nobody would have felt this way normally,”
Chakotay looked at her to try to judge her reaction to his story so far. Kathryn sat there with a
stone face and listened, but her heart still hurt and she just couldn’t believe
that her crew could all come to hate her so much that they would want to get
rid of her no matter what the reason.
Weren’t they a family after all? Chakotay continued. “The Doctor developed a method of killing off
the offending nanoprobes and the crew was
treated. The shame and guilt that
everyone felt was overwhelming. We
immediately turned Voyager around and the crew worked overtime trying to coax
every bit of speed we could find into returning to your planet to find you and
bring you home. We were all worried sick
about you and the Doctor had to download psychiatric and counseling subroutines
into his programming to try to deal with despondent crewmembers. It was awful – everyone sat around in groups
and cried at their guilt and shame. Plus
Seven and I had dreamed that you were in danger, so that made it even worse.” “I was,” Kathryn softly
whispered and Chakotay barely heard her.
His heart was breaking at the look on her face – the hurt and betrayal
she was feeling. “When we arrived at the
planet every single crewmember offered to go to the planet’s surface to look
for you. Everyone was praying that you
were alright and would come home and forgive us for what we did. When we couldn’t find you at first we were
devastated. Finally we beamed a team to
the surface to look for you since our sensors couldn’t penetrate into the
caves. Thank God we found your water
system.” “When we found you we were
once again devastated. You were injured
and sick and it was our fault. Once we
beamed you back to Voyager the Doctor worked frantically to save your life, and
when you were out of danger we were all waiting for you to wake up so we could
let you know how we felt. Crewmembers took
turns keeping vigil outside of sickbay, much to the Doctor’s annoyance, but you
wouldn’t wake up. The last attack was
when you did wake up, but everyone was busy keeping Voyager in one piece so nobody
got to see you. Your crew NEEDS to see
you Kathryn. We need for you to forgive
us and become our captain once again.” “On a personal note, I
missed you so much. You know I love
you……..I hope. When I found out what
happened I couldn’t believe I could have acted the way I did. My subconscious knew something was wrong and
I dreamed about you and that caused severe headaches, but when I was awake it
was like I was a different person and I didn’t even realize it.” Chakotay slipped onto his
knees in front of Kathryn and took her hand.
“Please forgive me Kathryn. I
love you.” Kathryn just looked at him
and tears started to fall and run down her cheeks. “Give me time please,” she whispered. “I understand,” Chakotay
replied as he sat back on the chair. “I
have to go on duty, but can I come back later?” “I’ll let you know,”
Kathryn replied quietly as Chakotay rose to leave. Once he was gone she once
again cried herself to sleep. ********** When Chakotay was finished
his shift he went immediately to Kathryn’s quarters and rang for entry. Kathryn didn’t answer. “Chakotay to Janeway,” he tapped his
communicator, but again there was no answer. “Computer, please give me
the location of Captain Janeway.” “Captain Janeway is in her
quarters,” the computer answered. “Please give me Captain Janeway’s condition,” he asked because he was worried about
her. “Captain Janeway is
asleep,” the computer answered so Chakotay sighed and went to his own quarters. Chakotay tried to contact Kathryn
several times over the next few hours, but she didn’t answer and the computer
informed him that she was asleep. With a
heavy heart he prepared for bed. ********** Kathryn Janeway remained
secluded in her quarters for the next two weeks, and the only times Chakotay
entered her quarters was when he used his override to gain admittance. She never answered her chime and she didn’t
answer his hails. The computer
repeatedly told him that she was asleep, but Chakotay doubted that was true. Kathryn Janeway was battling her demons. He knew Kathryn well enough
to know that she was fully capable of fooling the computer into thinking she
was asleep and to alert her if he tried to override her codes. Every time he did gain entrance he would find
her asleep either in her bed or on a piece of furniture in her outer
rooms. His guilt kept him from forcing
her to wake up, but he was about at his wits end and he doubted that she was
always asleep. The crew kept pressuring
him about when she would return to duty and when they could plan their ‘event’,
but he had no idea. The Doctor was asked to
check her out to be sure she was alright, but he could find no reason for her
constant need to sleep and he was ready to allow her back to full-time
duty. She didn’t want to go. Kathryn realized the reason for her addiction
to sleep. It allowed her to escape
reality and the hurt that she was living with.
Knowing that it was also a sign of depression, she willingly gave in to
her desire to sleep, not caring anymore. She was numb and really didn’t care what
happened to her. If her crew hated her
as she believed, she really was better off dead. ********** “I can’t take this
anymore,” B’Elanna almost screamed at Tom as they
were walking to the messhall. “She’s going to come out of those quarters if
I have to drag her kicking and screaming and I don’t care if she demotes me to
crewman. She’s wallowing in those
quarters probably thinking about how much we hate her, and we’re out here
trying to tell her how much we love her.
I’m going now,” B’Elanna threatened as she
changed direction and headed for the turbolift
leaving Tom standing in the middle of the corridor outside the messhall. As one very angry Klingon strode down the corridor Tom Paris hit his commbadge. “ “What do you want “We have a red alert. B’Elanna is on her
way to the Captain’s quarters to confront her about hiding from the crew and to
tell her how much we love her. Knowing
Captain Janeway, I’m not sure who will survive the confrontation, but I feel
fairly certain that the ensuing battle will be loud and intense. I’m on my way just in case they need a medic,
and I thought you might want to be there as well.” “On my way,” Chakotay
quickly responded as Tom reached the turbolift. B’Elanna reached the Captain’s quarters in record time and
quickly rang the chime. There was no
answer. “Computer, what is the location
of Captain Janeway?” B’Elanna asked just to be sure
because she wanted to confront her while she was still angry. “Captain Janeway is asleep
in her quarters,” the monotone voice of the computer answered. “OK, that’s it,” B’Elanna said as she quickly punched in her override code
and the door swished open. Striding into the room, B’Elanna spied her captain lying on her sofa and she
appeared to be asleep dressed in a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Her feet were bare and her hair slightly
mussed. Moving quickly before she lost
her nerve she moved to Janeway’s side and rather
roughly shook her shoulder. “Wake up Captain, I really
need to talk to you,” B’Elanna spoke in a rather loud
voice. Janeway only groaned and
continued to sleep. “Wake up Captain,”
she spoke again as she once again shook Janeway. Kathryn moaned again and rolled onto her side
with her back to B’Elanna. B’Elanna had enough so she used her anger and superior Klingon strength to grab Janeway under her arms and pick
her up off the sofa. Once she had
Kathryn in an upright position she shook her again before setting her gently
onto her feet. Still supporting Janeway
by her arms she yelled directly into her face.
“Wake up Captain so I can tell you how much we love and miss you. You need to know how sorry we all are and I
can’t wait any longer to tell you.” By that time Tom and Chakotay
arrived outside the Captain’s quarters and could hear B’Elanna
shouting. “Maybe we should give this a
minute,” Tom suggested as he leaned against the wall. “After all, nobody else has gotten this far.” Chakotay sighed. “We’ll give it a minute.” B’Elanna continued to shake Kathryn as she yelled, “WE love you and we’re so sorry.” “Phoebe??????? Stop,” Kathryn sputtered as her eyes finally
opened. “B’Elanna……….?”
she asked as her sleepy eyes continued to try to focus on B’Elanna’s
face. “What……..?” “I SAID, WE LOVE YOU AND WE
MISS YOU. WE ALL WANT TO TELL YOU HOW
SORRY WE ARE FOR WHAT HAPPENED BUT YOU WON’T WAKE UP AND LET US,” B’Elanna shouted into Kathryn’s confused face. In a softer tone she continued. “We’re so sorry for what happened and we want
to tell you, but you just stay in this room and sleep. We need you to come out and be our Captain
once again. It’s where you belong and
it’s who you are. We need you.” Kathryn’s confusion finally
faded as she realized what B’Elanna was saying. They NEEDED her? That couldn’t be true…………it was all her
fault, wasn’t it? “Noooooooo,………it’s all my
fault,” Kathryn mumbled as she tried to sit down. “Stand up Captain and
listen to me,” B’Elanna insisted as she maintained
her hold on Kathryn’s arms because she knew that if Kathryn sat down she’d go
back to sleep. “WE NEED YOU!” she shouted
until she had Kathryn’s full attention once again. “WE’RE SORRY FOR WHAT HAPPENED.” “Noooo,
you don’t want me. It’s all my fault,” Kathryn muttered once again, but her mind was
clearing and she was starting to get angry at the rough way B’Elanna
was holding her. She just knew that
bruises were forming on her arms. “Let go of me Lieutenant,”
Kathryn ordered as she straightened herself and tried to step back. “What are you doing in my quarters?” B’Elanna still held
her arms, although she let up on the pressure. “I’m here to plead for you
to come back to us Captain,” B’Elanna said in a
normal voice now that she had Kathryn’s attention. “Please………..we need and want you as our
Captain. We’re so sorry.” B’Elanna looked
like she was about to cry. “Everyone
misses you.” “Nobody misses me,” Kathryn
said as she looked at B’Elanna. “You couldn’t wait to get rid of me. But I could never figure out…………….why?” Kathryn
whispered as she too looked like she was about to cry. Neither woman noticed that
the door to Kathryn’s quarters had opened and Tom and Chakotay stood just
inside. “I miss you Kathryn,”
Chakotay said just loud enough for her to hear.
“I miss you and I love you. I’m
so sorry for what happened and so is the rest of the crew.” “That’s right Captain,” Tom
chimed in. “We didn’t know what was
happening………. the Borg nanoprobes and all…………….but we
need you. Please come back to us.” “Please…….,” B’Elanna pleaded as she shook her gently again and forced
Kathryn to look into her eyes. “I need you, ……the crew needs you, ……but most of all that big lug
over there needs you.” B’Elanna indicated Chakotay still standing near the
door. Kathryn just stood there
with tears streaming down her cheeks not knowing what to think. B’Elanna was still
holding her up by her arms. This was
what she dreamed of when she was on that planet – her crew coming to her rescue
and wanting her back – but was it true or was it a dream? “You really are here and you want me back?”
she asked softly. Her legs started to
tremble and it spread to her whole body.
B’Elanna increased her grip on Kathryn’s arms. Just as her legs started to
give, Chakotay stepped forward and caught her before she could fall from B’Elanna’s grasp. He
gathered her into his arms and then sat down on the couch still holding the
sobbing and trembling Kathryn in his arms.
She buried her face in his shoulder and sobbed out the pain and anguish
she had felt while on the planet. Tom and B’Elanna
just stood there looking devastated until Chakotay indicated that they should
sit down as well. Everyone just waited
for Kathryn to regain her composure. Finally the sobs decreased
and Kathryn quieted in his arms. Chakotay
continued to rub her back and tell her how sorry they were and how much they
missed her. It finally started to sink
in. Kathryn lifted her head and
looked around. “You really do want me
back? You don’t think it’s all my fault?” “It was never your fault,
and yes – we do want you back,” Chakotay said as he looked into her eyes. “We miss you and we love you. You’re our captain.” “Please come back to us,” B’Elanna chimed in.
“It was all a horrible mistake thanks to the Borg Queen, but we want to
make things right. The whole crew wants
to make things right.” “We NEED to make things
right,” Tom piped in. “We need you so
bad and we missed you so much.” The tears were still
running down Kathryn’s cheeks, but she slowly nodded her head. “I’m home,” she whispered and the words broke
the hearts of Tom, B’Elanna and Chakotay. “You’re home – with us,”
Chakotay whispered as he held her close and cried along with her. So did Tom and B’Elanna ********** It took another week of
gentle persuasion before Chakotay, the Doctor, Tom and B’Elanna
were able to persuade Kathryn to go back on duty. She was still afraid that the crew blamed her
for everything and was unsure that they really wanted her back. But she wanted to BE back more than anything in the world
and she knew that she just had to do it and see how it went. “I’ll report for duty first
thing in the morning,” she finally announced to Chakotay as he arrived at her
quarters after his duty shift. “Please
add me to the roster.” “You’re on,” Chakotay
smiled. He had visited Kathryn every day
since she finally let him, Tom, the Doctor and B’Elanna
back into her life. The four of them explained
in detail what happened to turn her crew against her and the Doctor provided
the proof that he’d gathered from Seven’s alcove. All of them were afraid that the Borg Queen
would try something again, but B’Elanna and Seven had devised a way they thought would protect Seven if
the Queen tried once again to contact her while she was regenerating. They quickly made the adjustments to her
alcove. It was hard at first
knowing that they had almost destroyed their proud and brave captain, but Kathryn
was determined to get back to where she was before this whole thing
started. And her crew was determined to
get her back. Word quickly spread that
Kathryn had been added to the duty roster for the following morning and the
crew celebrated in the messhall that evening. Finally they were able to put their plans
into motion and only hoped that what they had to offer would be accepted by
their Captain. They all needed her for
her strength, her leadership, her compassion and her unwavering determination
to get them all home. “I’m cooking tonight,”
Chakotay offered as he finished using her computer to change the duty roster. Unknown to Kathryn, he also notified Tom
Paris of her return to duty and Tom spread the word quickly. “Let’s celebrate,” he said
as he turned away from her terminal.
“Some champagne would be appropriate.” “Celebrate what?” Kathryn
asked. “Your return to your ship
and your crew,” Chakotay smiled. Kathryn
also smiled as she set the table for supper. ********** The following morning Chakaotay arrived early at Kathryn’s quarters to escort her
to the bridge. She was ready and eager
to get going but first he insisted on cooking her breakfast. “You need to eat, and if I know you there
won’t be a lunch break,” he teased.
“Besides, I’ll replicate it to save time – my treat,” he smiled. Chakotay took his time
getting their breakfast and they ate in companionable silence. After her third cup of coffee Kathryn was
ready to go and her impatience was starting to show. “What’s the rush?” Chakotay
asked, but he knew he couldn’t delay any longer. When Kathryn was impatient she was a force to
be reckoned with. One look was all it
took for Chakotay to realize that the Captain was back and ready to report to
duty. “OK, let’s go,” he offered
as he stepped back to allow her to pass through the doors and into the
corridor. As soon as Kathryn stepped out
of her room Tom, B’Elanna and the Doctor were there. “What are you doing here?”
Kathryn asked as she looked around. “We just thought we’d walk
to the bridge with you,” B’Elanna answered. “It’s so good to see you back.” Kathryn looked a little
suspicious as Chakotay took her arm and propelled her forward. He walked beside her and the others fell in
behind. When Kathryn looked over her
shoulder it appeared that they had formed a human/hologram wall just in case
she changed her mind. She shrugged off
her suspicions and continued to walk forward. As soon as they came to the
first bend in the corridor Kathryn stopped abruptly and looked around in
shock. The corridor was lined on both
sides with members of her crew and each crewmember was holding a sign. The signs were varied and some of them said, ‘Forgive us’, ‘We’re so sorry’, ‘We missed you’, ‘We
love you’. Each crewmember held out a
flower that they were trying to give to their Captain. Kathryn quickly turned and
would have run back to her quarters except that there was a human/hologram wall
blocking her retreat. ‘Nice strategy,’ she thought to herself. “They need to see you
Captain,” Tom Paris offered softly, “and this is their way of saying that
they’re sorry. Please accept their
apologies.” Kathryn turned back to her
crew and there were tears streaming down her cheeks. As she stood there Chakotay whispered in her
ear. “We’re here with you
Kathryn…….always.” He gave her a gentle
push forward and all of them moved forward with her. Kathryn took a step and
then another and each crewmember handed her their flower, which she hesitantly
at first accepted. The tears continued
to course down her cheeks. As she
continued walking the crewmembers would hold up their signs and whisper their apologies as she passed and accepted their flowers. Some members of the crew were crying as
well. By the time they got to the turbolift her arms were full and the five of them stepped
into the lift. Chakotay took the flowers
from Kathryn and handed them to the Doctor to hold for her. He gave the command to the lift, but Kathryn
wasn’t paying any attention because she was wrapped in B’Elanna’s
arms and was crying on her shoulder. “It’s OK, they just want
you to know how they feel,” Tom Paris offered as he talked to his Captain. “They need your forgiveness and this is their
way of asking for it.” The lift finally stopped
and Kathryn stepped out of B’Elanna’s arms and tried
to compose herself. She straightened her
shoulders as they stepped out of the lift and wiped her eyes with the back of
her hand, but it wasn’t onto the bridge.
They were in a corridor and again the corridor was lined with crewmen
with signs and flowers. It was then that
Kathryn noted that they hadn’t stopped at the exit that opened onto the bridge. There was still a corridor to travel until
they reached the door to the bridge. Knowing that she couldn’t
run for it, Kathryn moved down the corridor and her crewmembers again offered
their flowers and apologies. Again the
tears coursed down her cheeks, but by now they were tears of happiness. They WANTED
her and they NEEDED her. She once again had a purpose and a goal in
her life. She would die for her crew and
she loved them. Forgiveness was hard, forgetting
what happened impossible, but she was taking a leap forward today. She almost laughed when she
passed Neelix whose sign read ‘I luv
you’, but instead of a flower he held out a steaming cup of coffee. “Hi Neelix,” she
managed as she accepted the cup, took a sip and moved on. The last person Kathryn
passed before she activated the door to the bridge was Mike Ayala whose sign
read ‘I missed you so much’. Instead of
a flower Mike handed her a data chip.
“This contains a holodeck program that all the
crew put together for you,” Mike explained.
“We all donated holodeck time so you have
three full days to run it and enjoy yourself.
It is a program of Kathryn was
speechless. She had three whole days to
enjoy seeing They finally reached the
doorway that would open onto the bridge and Kathryn’s arms were full and so was
her heart. She gave a watery smile to
Chakotay and turned to give a quick one-armed hug to B’Elanna. “Thank you all,” she managed as she wiped at
the tears that were still falling down her cheeks. With resolve she straightened her shoulders
and with her head held high she activated the door and marched through onto the
bridge. The first thing that
Kathryn heard was Harry Kim announcing, “Captain on the bridge.” This sent chills down her spine when she
realized how much those words meant to her and she
knew that no matter what had happened, this was where she belonged. Again some of her crew were
there lining the route to her seat.
Tuvok was the first crewmember she encountered, and his sign said ‘I
missed my friend’. He offered a white
rose which Kathryn accepted with a nod. “I missed you too,” she
whispered as she moved along. Next in
line was Seven who couldn’t bring herself to look Kathryn in the eye. Her sign read simply ‘I’m so sorry’ but it
contained a wealth of emotion that Seven didn’t know how to express. Seven offered a yellow rose. Kathryn accepted the rose and reached out her
hand and lifted Seven’s head so she would look her in the eye. “I know it wasn’t your fault,” she
offered. Seven tried very hard and
finally managed half of a smile as she looked into her Captain’s tear-filled
eyes. “Thank you Captain,” Seven
whispered as she stepped back so Kathryn could move on. Eventually she reached her
chair and gratefully sank into it. It
felt good and she thought to herself, ‘I’m home’. Chakotay reached down and
took the armful of flowers from her and passed them to Sam Wildman who took
them into Kathryn’s ready room to put in vases.
He knew better than to attempt to touch the coffee, which she was
clutching to her chin and inhaling the aroma.
A smile of contentment formed on her face after she took a sip. Chakotay chuckled. “Some things never change,” he said and they
both smiled. Tom Paris turned from his
station at the helm and gave his report on their speed and heading. B’Elanna had taken
the engineering station and reported on the status of the engines. Harry smiled as his Captain turned to him for
the ops report. One by one all the
bridge crew gave their reports and Kathryn accepted them all with a smile and a
‘thank you’. “You took good care of Voyager,”
she turned to Chakotay and smiled.
“Thank you.” Chakotay too smiled as he
settled into his seat. With Kathryn back
beside him everything felt right once again and he knew they could overcome any
obstacle, even the Borg Queen. “Welcome home,” he said as
their hands joined over the console between them and the looks they traded
promised much more. ********** Half a quadrant away the
Borg Queen was furious. Her plan
backfired and Kathryn Janeway was still alive and even more loved by her crew
than ever before. She knew she’d have to plan
more carefully………………………….for the next time.
After all, she had to protect her collective from something that she
only had a vague idea about. Maybe she
didn’t have to hurry since her vision didn’t give her a timeframe and Voyager
was probably at least 30 years from the Alpha Quadrant. The billions of drones in the collective suddenly
raised their heads as they heard an evil laugh. End: May 2006 |
