Summary: This is just a short alternate ending to Consequences, Buffy's POV. It may have been done before but I *just* saw the ep (Hey, I'm in England atm) and... well, anyway. Oh god, oh god, oh god... "You can't handle watching me living my own way, having a blast, because it tempts you!" you said. "You know it could be you!" And I just couldn't face you because I knew you could push me, knew you could get under my skin and convince me that black was white, make me give in to you and make me want to... "I'm not gonna do this." Want. Take. Have. Faith, the devil on my shoulder, I stole for you, I almost killed for you... "Why not? It feels good." The man in the alley (I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!) came out of nowhere, and in an instant we were killers. I turned my back on Faith for an instant, tried not to listen... "Blood rising..." And then the crates were falling and there were vampires everywhere and I didn't have time to check on you, I was busy turning and staking in that brutal ballet we know so well (you were right, it's what we are born for, it's in me too) and I came back as fast as I could and you were just lying there and the blood... "It's okay, Faith, baby, it's okay, it's going to be okay." This is what you would have wanted, isn't it? I couldn't take you to the hospital and let Wesley capture you again, I couldn't hide you in Sunnydale, and you must have picked this boat for a reason, you knew where it was going, didn't you? "Faith, sweetheart, we're all right, we're on the boat, we're leaving. It ain't fancy but it gets you gone, isn't that right? I sent everyone in different directions, they can't get here in time to stop us." I gently smooth her hair away from her pale face, trying not to get too much blood on my hands. "I'm so sorry about the - about Allan, but I know it wasn't your fault, and I really do forgive you." "I just wish!" I stand and pace in our narrow confinement. "I just wish you would have talked to me honestly instead of trying so hard to be strong. I know you're strong, you don't have to prove it to me all the time. Don't you see? We could have worked it out. You and me, the chosen two, right?" "And I'm so glad you're listening to me like this, now, because I've been wanting to tell you this for so long. You're beautiful, Faith, even when you're not trying to be tough and sexy, and you make me feel things I don't really understand. And sometimes I wish I could be more like you and get away from all the burdens and tough decisions people try to put on me and just do what I want to do. Do what comes naturally. But you would never let me say it before!" I laugh a little. Faith is still silent. "We can start over, Faith, we can live anywhere! We'll take what we need because they owe us for protecting them, right? And I just know that if we really try we can understand each other. You don't have to be alone anymore." Faith doesn't stir. "Come on, Faith, talk to me. I know you, you don't give up that easy. Show us some Slayer spirit. It's just a scratch, you heal fast, don't you? But don't feel rushed or anything, I'm right here. I'll be right here." So I sit. And I wait. Sooner or later she's got to start breathing. - cecilyhawkins@yahoo.com