Well, to continue on w/ the rambling before the last (even though it’s now a year and a half later...): The sad outcome of my missing uncle was drunken road-rage and a gun... complete w/ a bullet through the brain. This was rather shocking. I mean, the man always seemed the most... comfortable man. By comfortable, I mean he was always in good spirits. Laughing, seemingly care-free. I had caught, through one summer vacation, that he wasn’t actually very happy... This came before he and his (third) wife got divorced. I knew the divorce had to be hard on him, as they were together a long time, and had 3 children. He lived for his girls, so to be putting them through a split must have torn at him almost as much as (or maybe more than) leaving his long-time partner. Still, he fairly quickly met a woman who he seemed to really love. Their marriage seemed to come a little quickly, but no one seemed to think about that for long, as things went really well between them. At least, as far as we could see.
In reality, apparently there was some question over whether he was being faithful. He insisted he would never cheat, but... I guess we’ll never know for sure now. My parents made it sound like this was a problem he had had before. I had never known that, but I guess it didn’t entirely surprise me. Anyway, this was really bothering him... and I guess he and his new wife ended up split up for a while. Also, at this point in time, his middle daughter had gone away to Arizona to go to school (and to get into warm, sunny weather) and just recently, he had annoyed his oldest daughter to the point where she decided not to talk to him. His youngest was living with her mother, his ex-wife. This meant he did not see much of his three daughters who were so much of his life. This, combined w/ the separation from his current wife apparently weighed really heavily on him. He said he was going to get away for a while... which some people assume to mean he was going to come down here to visit my family for a while. And also then maybe go visit his daughter in AZ. Anyway, what we know of the story is that he got rather drunk, got in his car (I believe with his stuff, as if he intended to go on a long trip) and started driving. Not long after, he got in an incident of road rage, where he flashed his gun (which apparently he carried in his glove box, after being robbed at gunpoint while his eldest daughter, then a baby, was nearby). He pulled into a parking lot in front of a small convenience store near his home, where the clerk then saw him pick up the gun and turn it on his head, and pull the trigger.
I can only guess that he did this because the alcohol impaired his judgment enough to make him think that the best way to spare his family the embarrassment of him going to jail was to end his life. He was never one to mean to cause any pain to anyone, and I’m guessing that his unwillingness to cause pain to people he loved was why he took his life. I will miss him. He was the uncle I think both my brother and I felt the closest to. He was most certainly a good man. And very good to his daughters. I also felt that his daughters were probably the cousins that I was closest to. At different points in my childhood, I seemed closest to a different one, but all of them were always very close to me. I only got to see them a couple of times a year, typically, but those were good times. Andrea, the eldest, must have felt the worst out of them all when their dad died, as she hadn’t been talking to him. She probably felt that a lot of it was her fault. While his depression may have been contributed to by her not speaking to him, no one really faults her. How on Earth could she have had any idea that he would have enough other emotional problems that he would do this thing? She couldn’t have known. No one thinks she did. No one. I hope she figured that out quickly. Brenna, the middle daughter, was the one I’ve felt closest to for the past few years. I can only imagine what it must feel like to be off at college, enjoying your life, and suddenly have your mother call you to say your father is dead. Not only dead, but that he killed himself. I think Brenna may well have been the favorite daughter, if he had any. Signe, the youngest... In a lot of ways, she seemed the most like her father. She had more of his sense of humor than the other two, I think.
OK, crap was that depressing. Can I move to something else? Sure. Don’t mind if I do. But what else was I going to talk about? Oh, yeah. It turns out the reason that Heather was being so mean to me over the last few months or however long was because she decided that she needed to get over me. Apparently, the way to do this, since she couldn’t bring herself to just leave or tell me to go away, was to be mean to me. I guess the intent was either to make me hate her, or to eventually convince herself that she hated me. She told me this at Disneyland. How happy. Heh. But anyway, when she said this, I couldn’t help but think this had a familiar reek to it. If I dared make that comparison outloud, I would have dropped myself right back into the same treatment, but this time because she actually would hate me. Ha. Good thing she doesn’t read these. Infamous one, anyone? Oh no. Speaking of, she and Vlado now live in Arizona. I guess since it’s winter, I could go out and visit them w/ out frying now. And maybe I could visit Brenna, as well. Though I’m kinda worried by Brenna’s lack of responding to my e-mails… Maybe she doesn’t want to see me. Anyway, I should probably be going to sleep. Work in the morning.

(12-01 0:07)

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