Wm. Shakespeare.
The feast of St. Vigius came again; and lights from a thousand candles illumined the huge mansion on the outskirts of Sunnydale.
On an elevated throne-like chair sat the Vampire King: the new Master of the Hellmouth- Angelus.
Spike watched from the gallery above, fingers tightly clutching the arms of his wheelchair.
For there were two smaller chairs on either side of Angelus...and on his right was the woman Spike had loved for a century- Drusilla. Drusilla looked magnificent in a gown of crimson satin...eyes filled with madness as she happily whispered to the porcelain doll on her lap.
And on the left- Angelus' newest pet...the erstwhile Slayer.
Spike studied Buffy thoughtfully. Only a few days had elapsed since Angelus had made the Slayer, causing his minions to respond in awe. No vampire had ever accomplished what Angelus had: taken a Slayer lover, then turned on her...then made her into a vampire.
Spike himself had been curious to observe how the Slayer would awaken to her new life.
She had awakened Angelus' creature. Spike felt a flicker of disappointment in Buffy's ready acceptance of Angelus as her master; and now...the undisputed master of all the vampires.
Of course, most of the female vampires wanted the dominant male, Spike admitted. It wasn't until he'd gained control of the clan that Drusilla had been fully his.
Buffy was smiling at Angelus again...she'd better, thought Spike with grim amusement. He remembered Angelus' first lesson.
"So, my love," Angelus had purred, that first night. "Which of the boys do you want for your playmate? Any...or all?"
The males stirred eagerly.
Buffy looked at Angelus. "Why not *you*, my love?"
Angelus chuckled. "Oh perhaps, but I'll share you."
Buffy smiled at him, and that smile had widened as she studied the assembled males. "I get to choose?" she'd inquired, lasciviously eyeing a good-looking young male.
The blow sent her reeling into the wall. "Bitch!" Angelus roared. He grabbed a handful of her hair, forcing her head back at a painful angle.
Get this straight," he hissed. "You're *mine*...do you understand? If I ever find you with another man- you're dead. And he...he will die in the most painful way possible."
He growled at the assembly. "Is that understood?"
The boys looked indignant, Spike noted. They didn't like having a promised treat snatched away.
But Buffy had nodded- subdued- and humbly asked for pardon.
And Angelus had initiated the second lesson. "You'll sleep with Spike."
Spike's mouth tightened, remembering the ex-Slayer's reaction.
With Spike?" Buffy's blue eyes darkened in dismay. "Why do I have to sleep with *him*?"
Spike's heart seemed to constrict as he saw Drusilla frown and whisper something to Angelus.
"But it's the ideal solution," Angelus was delighted, his good humor restored at the brilliance of his decision. "I want you safely tucked away- until I can trust you to share my bed. And you can help Roller Boy here to get dressed and mobile, freeing Dru for...more interesting pursuits."
Drusilla beamed. "Oh, my Angel- you have such wonderful ideas!"
Angelus chuckled. "Perfect, isn't it, Dru? They can safeguard one another; and we won't have to worry about either of them cheating on us. Buffy won't- and Spike can't!"
Drusilla laughed...the silvery sound like a hot wire through Spike's brain. Angelus had lost no time in having Buffy's things moved into the large room Spike had claimed in the opposite wing...as far as he could get from the palatial bedroom Angelus now shared with Drusilla.
Spike cursed; now even this tenuous refuge was no longer his own. He could no longer lie in the enormous bed and long for Drusilla- all the while imagining her entwined with Angelus instead.
No...the former Slayer was lying there...as far to one side as she could get, Spike noticed resentfully. Stubbornly he refused to reciprocate. He'd never slept on the outer edge; and he wasn't about to start now.
But it was disconcerting to wake the following evening to find her curled up against him...almost...cuddling.
He felt a flash of outraged indignation, tempted to give her a hard shove. Then, belatedly, he realized how strange her new life must seem...to an ex-Slayer.
It didn't matter, anyway. Below his waist he still had no feeling. He closed his eyes, waiting until she was up and dressed, before he pretended to stir.
He opened his eyes to see her watching him uncertainly. "Uh, how should I help?"
Spike looked at her sharply but noticed no sign of mockery. Inwardly he felt humiliated. Bad enough when Dru was the only one to see his useless legs and shattered manhood...but to expose himself thus to his mortal enemy...
But Angelus' decision was final, he knew. Dru would not be coming by to help him. He'd either have to rely on Buffy- or manage on his own. And quite simply, he couldn't manage on his own.
She seemed to guess; quietly she helped him sit up and brought his clothes.
Much to his surprise, things were actually easier than with Drusilla. Dru had handled him much as she did one of her dolls- as if he were an inanimate object to be thrust into his garments. While Buffy...Buffy helped when he needed it, but let him alone to do as much as possible for himself.
Probably didn't like touching him, Spike decided with a flash of anger. Like the other females who'd once sighed for him and now jeered behind his back. Not that he'd ever picked up on any of their offers. No, he'd stayed faithful to Drusilla- even when she was sick and incapable of satisfying his needs. But- she hadn't done the same.
She emerged at dusk, arm draped across Angelus' shoulder, eyes full of a chill indifference when she looked at Spike.
Angelus saw Buffy and frowned. "You're wearing jeans, lover. I think...I prefer those cute little skirts of yours. Shall I stop by your house...and get some of your clothes?"
Buffy pouted. "Oh Angel, those clothes are sooo last year. I thought maybe I'd go shopping?"
"Good idea," Angelus approved. "Do it now."
"Now? But..you said you'd take me hunting."
Angelus chuckled. "Eager little thing, isn't she?" he remarked to Dru. He scowled at Buffy. "I decide when you go hunting, my love. Not you. Is that clear?"
Buffy nodded nervously.
Angelus continued, "Spike may as well take you shopping. And pay." He started to stride out with Dru. "Oh, and Buffy...you know the kind of thing I like." The words held an unmistakeable warning.
Spike fumed as Buffy helped guide his chair through the mall. Two vampire guards- one male and one female- trailed them at a discreet distance. Angelus was taking no chances with his newest prize.
For a female about to acquire an entire new wardrobe, the Slayer did not look happy. She'd probably heard that warning note in Angelus' voice.
Spike watched her thoughtfully, then made a sudden decision. "Listen to me, pet. We're here to shop- and shop we'd better. If you know what's good for you, you'll buy things he likes...things he'll approve of. Get it?"
She nodded, her face revealing nothing.
Good." He selected an upscale store. "We'll start here."
Three hours later, the two guards were laboring under the weight of various packages- and a staggering amount of cash had changed hands. Buffy was feeling bemused- he'd chosen most of the items for her. She'd modelled for him; and all the while he'd eyed her with the impersonal assessment of a director auditioning an actress for a role.
His taste in choosing clothing for her was excellent. Only once had she asserted herself. They were on the way out when she stopped...eyeing a midnite blue short dress with a very high side slit.
Spike raised one eyebrow. "A bit much, isn't it love?"
Buffy stared at the dress. "I
wanted this...once; but my mother refused to let me buy it."
She turned to him, a wide smile on her pretty face. "And
now, I can!" she said triumphantly.
Spike looked at her impassively. Then, slowly, he nodded.
She was dressed and waiting when Angelus returned, clad in a new short leather skirt and matching vest.
Angelus' eyes gleamed approval. "Very nice, lover! I hope you got something special for the Feast of St. Vigius."
Of course I did, lover," Buffy smirked.
"Good...I'll have a surprise for you." Angelus patted his lap invitingly.
Buffy approached, but as she was about to sit down, Dru's face vamped and she growled a warning. Buffy backed up hurriedly.
Angelus laughed out loud; and Spike could tell he was loving it...the growing rivalry between Drusilla and Buffy.
"Sorry, lover, " Angelus told Buffy mockingly. "I think Dru would like you to keep your distance- for now." He reached for Drusilla's hand; and she gave him a fawning smile.
Angelus turned back to Buffy. "Tell you what, Buffy...sit on Spike's lap. It'll be just like sitting on a wooden chair."
Spike forced himself to show no reaction. Buffy climbed slowly onto his lap, leaning awkwardly against him while Angelus chuckled.
Dru smiled maliciously and leaned to whisper in Angelus' ear. Spike attempted to catch her eye; but when he succeeded, her gaze was impersonal. She might never have been his lover...never been the one who cried and whimpered whenever he'd had to go out and leave her alone.
She was caressing Angelus openly now- in front of all of them....
Spike was aware of the snickers...barely concealed now that he was confined to the chair. A once-fearsome vampire master who'd killed two Slayers was now a joke....a cuckold whose consort openly mated with the new Master right before his eyes.
Back in the haven of his room, Spike hurled the wineglass full of blood against the wall. "Bloody eunuch!"
Then he froze- he hadn't seen Buffy follow him inside. Her eyes fastened on the stain on the wall.
He felt curiously humiliated by the display of childish rage; but he met her gaze defiantly. To his surprise, she said nothing...just set her own glass down carefully and went to clean up the mess.
"Why don't you let one of the boys do that?" he demanded.
"They'd talk."
Yes, they probably would- but much Dru and Angelus would care. She finished wiping up the blood- then she picked up her own glass and held it out.
"What?" he couldn't believe this.
"Go ahead," she said. "We'll share it."
He hesitated, and she added, "you need it...you're weak."
Spike stiffened. "Weak, am I? Is that what you think...no longer a real man? I'll tell you something...even in this bloody chair I'm more of a man than that bastard Angelus!"
She gave him a long level look. "Prove it."
"What?" Spike wasn't sure he'd heard her correctly.
"I know you have some feeling below the waist," she told him. "You can feel your legs, can't you?"
"A bit," he admitted grudgingly.
"That's a start," she said briskly. "Will you let me help?"
"Help with what? I haven't forgotten," he emphasized, "that you're the one who did this to me, *former* Slayer! One day...I'll make you pay for it!"
"Yeah, yeah." Buffy looked bored. "First things first- let's get you mobile again."
"And how do you suggest we do that?"
"We'll start with a massage."
He lay on their huge bed while she rubbed his back and legs, unable to keep from moaning at the pain...tingling sensations that almost made him cry out in agony.
"I...can't..." he gritted his teeth.
She stopped; but only long enough to fetch a pillow.
"Here," she said, "If you're going to cry out, muffle it with this. I won't stop until you've had all you can take- so please try to stand it as long as possible."
He was able to bear it for twenty-two minutes.
"Very good!" she said approvingly. "I never thought you'd last that long."
His body was trembling from the strain, yet he felt inexplicably heartened by her words. This time when she held the wineglass to his lips he gulped it eagerly, thirstily...then abruptly realized what he'd done.
"God....I'm sorry," he muttered, "I didn't mean to drink it all."
"You didn't; there's plenty left," she replied, sipping the remainder.
But he could see there was barely a thimbleful. Angelus kept them both fairly short...and Spike was unable to hunt while Buffy was not yet allowed to.
Once again she started out on the far edge of the bed...but by now he was used to waking to find her snuggled against him.
His legs were aching unbearably; and he groaned aloud.
Buffy sat up in bed. "Wha...?" she asked sleepily. Then her vision cleared. "Oh!"
Spike saw what she was looking at; and felt a wave of embarassment. "Looks like you were right," he grunted. "I've got some feeling back below the waist."
Buffy smiled smugly. "Oh, I knew that last night."
"Oh? How did you know?" Spike was genuinely curious.
"I realized it...when Angel ordered me to sit on your lap."
He avoided her eyes. "That had nothing to do with you, *former* Slayer! I was looking at Drusilla. Besides," he continued, trying to change the subject, "my legs are killing me from that massage!"
"That means you're healing." She hopped eagerly out of bed. "Let's see how long you can go this time!"
Spike managed forty-three minutes.
Buffy was thrilled. She praised him lavishly...and he grinned like a kid- until it was time for Angelus to return and she rushed off to prettify.
Spike's pleasure faded- for the rest of the night he had to watch Buffy and Dru courting Angelus, much like a harem parading in front of the sultan. Once again, Drusilla went vamp and growled Buffy away from Angelus. And once again, Buffy gave in...but more slowly than before.
What would happen, Spike wondered, on the day Buffy chose to stand her ground?
But she hadn't by the Feast of St. Vigius. Spike noticed that she wasn't wearing her blue dress; but rather a short white one that made her look delectably innocent.
The White Queen, thought Spike, just as Dru was the Black Queen. Both competing for the Black King, Angelus. For now Dru still held the advantage; but for how long? Angelus' eyes were beginning to wander more and more frequently to Buffy; and Spike had heard enough speculation among the others to know that many of them thought she had an excellent chance of unseating Dru as the vampire queen.
He decided he'd better show himself, reluctant though he was to participate in any of these festivities. He'd never much liked vampire celebrations at the best of times...but there would be repercussions if he remained in his room.
He wheeled onto the platform, just in time to hear Angelus say, "Buffy, Drusilla has a surprise for you. A welcoming present, for St. Vigius Night."
Buffy looked at Dru coldly. "Really? You shouldn't have."
Drusilla smiled; then spotted Spike on her other side. "Buffy," Dru purred, "my Spike looks lonely. I'm afraid you're not taking good care of the dear boy."
Spike bit back a caustic rejoinder. He knew Dru was not moved by concern for him but by her desire to get Buffy farther away from Angelus. He was curious whether Buffy would argue the point. If she did, Angelus might back her up...and Spike would once again be humiliated in front of the others.
Instead, Buffy hurried over to him, settling onto his lap with every appearance of eagerness.
Dru beamed, satisfied...but Angelus scowled. "Buffy...don't you want your surprise?"
Two vampires walked in, carrying what looked like a rolled-up blanket.
"Show her," Dru called eagerly.
Spike knew what was coming the second the blanket was unrolled...to reveal the body of a young girl with long, dark hair and beautiful dead eyes.
Cordelia!" Buffy's cry pierced the silence.
Angelus was watching Buffy narrowly. She turned to him with a delighted smile on her face.
"Ooh, thank you, Angel!"
Angelus relaxed, his smile returning. "Thank Dru- it was her idea."
"I do thank you, Dru," Buffy said with less enthusiasm, "But I'm sure Angel is the one who's really responsible." Her smile faded, to be replaced by a pout. "But Angel, you said *I* could hunt my friends," she protested.
Now my love, Dru just wanted to surprise you," Angelus chuckled. "There are plenty more...and you'll get to kill them yourself! Now...do I get a thank-you kiss?"
Buffy got up and crossed to Angelus- who pulled her head down roughly and kissed her hard.
He looked down at the dead girl's body. "Put that in a dumpster," he ordered casually, "the one at the school."
"Or...Angel," Buffy said excitedly, "why not leave her on Giles' doorstep? As a message from me?"
Angelus laughed. "Why not? I like that!" He reached to pull her onto his knees; but she somehow missed the gesture...she was already resettling on Spike's lap for the rest of the evening.
And Spike, who'd meant to make a brief appearance and plead weariness, decided to stay.
For he, and he alone, knew that the former Slayer could barely keep her body from trembling; and that the arm clutching his neck would have strangled anyone other than a vampire.
He held her firmly on his lap all night, pretending to enjoy the party- until the moment when Angelus was distracted and they could slip away. Dru saw them leaving and looked pleased; Spike knew she would take care to keep Angelus occupied, but for once that knowledge caused him no pain.
Buffy lay along the edge again- back firmly turned toward him.
Why don't you come over here?" he suggested. "You will by evening, anyway."
She didn't move.
So that's how it's going to be, is it? he asked himself, disappointed that she didn't trust him. Then- he realized her small body was shaking with repressed sobs.
"Oh, pet," helplessly he reached for her, pulling her into his arms. "Go ahead and have a good cry, love," he told her gently. "It's safe now."
She did, sobbing painfully against his shoulder while he stroked her soft hair. Finally, her tears stopped...her voice came in a raspy whisper.
"She... always tried, you know? Sometimes she was more trouble than help, but she always...she meant well."
"Yes, pet," Spike soothed. He hesitated. "It was ...quick, love." Then he felt like kicking himself...what consolation was that for the death of her friend? "I don't think Angelus suspected anything," Spike added softly.
"I know. I was stupid, but...I couldn't let them put Cordy in that dumpster, she'd have hated that! Giles...Giles will take care of her."
He was silent a moment. "Buffy...soon Angelus will want to take you to bed."
She nodded. "I'm counting on it."
Spike's eyes widened in understanding. "You're planning to kill him!"
Yes." She met his eyes. "The moment we're alone together."
He grabbed her shoulders. "No! Listen...first you have to gain his trust! If you attack him the first night- and fail- have you any concept of what he'll do to you?"
"Kill me?" her voice was bitter. "What of it? I'd be better off dead than what I am now!"
Spike winced, but argued grimly. "He wouldn't kill you right away. And by the time he did, you'd beg to die!"
"Spike..." her voice took on a note of appeal, "if I wait, he'll kill my friends, my family. The only reason he hasn't already done it is because he thinks that's what I want! And...I can't let that happen, I have to kill him!"
"I know." Spike watched her intently. "And I'm going to help you."
Because...of Drusilla?" she murmured.
"Drusilla is mine," he said coldly, "and one day Angelus will learn what that means."
He looked up at her. "Let's get started."
The sheer physical pain was incredible- only his will held him together...brought him back to try, over and over again, to stand. His will...and the encouragement in her eyes.
Spike could tolerate any amount of massage now; the discomfort was a thing of the past. Now when she worked over him he felt only...pleasure...an insidious pleasure he was half-afraid to acknowledge.
They had a bit of a breather now, for the new Slayer had been activated.
Drusilla was happy...Angelus had promised the new Slayer to her. The madness in her eyes was diamond-bright when she told him, "Soon, my Spike, I'll have two Slayers...just like you."
She smiled at him in such unrelieved joy that he allowed himself to feel a flicker of hope that she still cared.
Then he heard Angelus' voice, giving orders in that lordly way of his, and Dru rushed out to join him without even looking back. Cursing, Spike lit a cigarette...ignoring the ex-Slayer who watched him steadily.
Angrily he stubbed out the cigarette and forced himself to his feet, managing a few steps before his tortured muscles gave out; she caught him before he could fall. Quickly, she guided him into his chair.
Buffy brought his wineglass.
Uh...I'm too shaky, pet." Spike hated admitting that.
She held the glass to his lips and he took a swallow; but the position was awkward. Carefully, he pulled her onto his lap.
It's easier this way,' he said apologetically. "Do you mind?"
She shook her head, somewhat shyly. "No...I kind of like it," she confessed.
He liked it too. Funny, Dru never used to sit on his lap this way...he'd had no idea how nice it could be. He felt a bit annoyed when they heard the others returning, and Buffy had to scramble to her feet.
Spike immediately realized that Angelus was even more annoyed; the vampire king was in a very bad mood.
And...Drusilla's face was streaked with tears. For the first time in weeks she seemed happy to see Spike.
"Spike," she whined, "I hurt."
Angelus threw her an angry look. "Stop that, Dru! It's your own fault you got hurt...I told you to wait and let *me* set up the Slayer! I would have had her, if you didn't get in the way."
His eyes fell on Buffy. "Dru," he tossed over his shoulder," maybe you should stay with Spike today? Until the bruises feel better?"
Spike's stomach clenched; he glanced at Buffy but she was smiling at Angelus. Still, Spike noticed she avoided his gaze.
"No!" Dru's jealousy was aroused. "No, my Angel...please! Let me stay with you," she begged, eyes filling with tears.
Angelus considered. "All right," he said grudgingly. "But tonight..." his eyes roved over Buffy's body..."I think it will be time to take Buffy hunting."
They huddled together in what he now thought of as *their* bed.
After awhile he spoke. "Are you thinking about tonight?"
"Yeah," she answered faintly. "Spike...I..."
"No!" he said firmly. "Wait...you must wait! I'm not at full strength yet...just a few more days..."
But suppose we go after Giles, or after..."
"Get him to take you to the Bronze," Spike instructed. "Your Watcher won't be there."
Buffy smiled sadly. "Not...my Watcher, anymore. "Maybe...now...he thinks I'm his enemy. He doesn't know that...I've kept my soul."
It was out in the open- the thing neither of them had dared to mention. Spike groaned. A vampire with a soul was a definite liability...if Angelus ever learned the truth, Spike knew that he would kill Buffy immediately.
"Spike?" her voice was barely audible. "I...tonight..after the hunting, will he..."
Yes."
She stiffened in his arms.
"Listen to me, pet," he said sternly. "You have to make certain he has a terrific time...understand?"
"Yes," she whispered; and started to tremble.
Spike swore, and pulled her closer to him. "You can get through this, I know you can. We can...I promise." He stroked her back with a reluctant tenderness, and after a while she put her arms around him, lifting her mouth to his.
He kissed her gently, wishing to comfort her; but the sweetness of her mouth startled him...it was like a flower...he lingered, loving the feeling... Abruptly he broke the kiss, staring at her in astonishment.
Her big eyes looked steadily back at him.
Hastily he let go of her; this time, he was the one who moved to the edge.
Buffy looked at him uncertainly. "I...guess we should go to sleep."
When he didn't respond she started to slide over to the other side.
"Buffy..." he hardly recognized his own voice.
He reached out for her.
This time, when he opened his eyes, she was already dressed- and the sight shocked him fully awake.
She was wearing the blue dress- the one her mother hadn't wanted her to buy. And in that first moment, he was completely on Mrs. Summers' side- because he didn't want any other man, ever, to see how lovely she looked in it.
"Why, my love," Angelus purred, "you're gorgeous. " He reached over and grabbed her hand. Drusilla's eyes narrowed; but she said nothing.
Angelus grinned at Buffy. "You'll dance for me...at the Bronze. It'll be like old times."
"Just like old times," she agreed.
They strolled out together, closely followed by a seething Drusilla. Spike found himself alone- and restless.
It wasn't that he missed Buffy- though lately he'd grown used to her company and even enjoyed it. It wasn't that he felt uneasy about her skill in hunting...surely she could manage a simple kill effortlessly.
A kill...Spike felt his throat go dry.
Suddenly he knew that Buffy wouldn't kill anyone...except Angelus, and possibly Drusilla. Feverishly he guided his chair into the underground tunnel that ran beneath Sunnydale- if he hurried, he could get to the Bronze just after the others.
His legs were still shaky; and he propped himself against the wall. He spotted Dru and Angelus at a table under the stairs....but where was Buffy? He scanned the crowd, finally locating her dancing with a dark-haired boy. Spike squinted...yes...that was Xander.
Buffy took Xander's hand; and led him toward the back door. Angelus and Dru got up and followed them out. They were in the alley beside the Bronze- the same one, Spike recognized, where he'd first introduced himself to Buffy.
Xander was slumped against the back wall while Buffy fed eagerly. Angelus began applauding...while Buffy turned away, letting Xander's limp body slump to the ground.
"Nice one, lover...I knew you had it in you," Angelus grinned.
Buffy turned to face him. "Oh yes, I have it," she said...and kicked him hard enough to shatter his jaw.
Drusilla screeched; and launched herself at Buffy...but Spike got there in time to grab her. Now he could see four other figures materialize, blocking the way out: the Watcher, Oz and Willow, and a tall dark-haired girl.
And- as Angelus and Buffy fought, Spike could see the Watcher reach over and take a stake from the girl.
"No!" he shouted. He shoved Dru aside, rushing forward towards Buffy; Xander was on his feet now- and he too held a stake.
Angelus hit Buffy so hard that she flew across the alley and landed at her former Watcher's feet. Spike closed his eyes a moment in dread; but when he opened them Buffy had the stake- and Giles was smiling at her.
With a roar Angelus charged her....she dodged, and the stake entered his chest. For one instant he stood staring at her, then...there was nothing but a pile of ashes on the pavement.
Spike had forgotten Drusilla; whimpering, she ran past the others who were now gathered around Buffy.
Spike hesitated, and the dark girl moved toward him deliberately. "Hello, Spike, " she said coldly. "I'm Megan the Vampire Slayer." She raised the stake menacingly- only to have it kicked out of her hand by Buffy.
"Leave him alone."
Megan started to argue; but Buffy was having none of it. "I said leave him!"
Reluctantly Megan moved aside. Spike stared in Buffy's direction; but she refused to look at him. Her friends gathered closely around her...she didn't need him, didn't want his help. He strode off after Drusilla.
But...then Buffy didn't come back. Things were in chaos at the mansion. The boys were upset, milling around on the verge of panic. They turned to Spike in relief, eager for a leader.
"Spike!" Drusilla threw herself into his arms. "Princess is afraid!"
"There's no need," he said automatically.
"But Spike! My Angel is gone forever! And Miss Edith wants to leave here and go...far far away!"
He kept glancing around, eyes scanning the room.
"Spike?!"
"Why don't you go to bed, Dru?" Spike interrupted. "You'll feel better tomorrow."
"Yes...our bed, right, Spike?" She grinned at him, mad eyes glittering. " I missed you."
He looked at her impassively. "Go on now, ducks."
It took an hour's hard searching before he found her- in the graveyard. She was sitting on Cordelia's tombstone, tracing the letters of the name with her finger.
He was uncertain what to say to her, and finally muttered, "I thought you'd stay with your friends."
Buffy shook her head. "No...I'm not exactly human anymore, am I?" She frowned thoughtfully. "I could go to L.A."
He felt strangely upset, considering he'd gotten what he wanted. Dru was back, and Angelus was gone.... "Dru wants to leave here...maybe go back to Europe," he suggested hopefully. "You..could come along."
Buffy sighed. "I don't think so, Spike."
"Why not?"
"I'm not big on sharing."
A jolt of anguish shot through him...it was the only allusion she'd made to what had happened between them.
He took a step towards her. "Buffy..."
No." Her voice was kind but firm. "Go back to Dru...she's all yours again. I know how you've wanted that."
He hesitated. "Come back with me."
"I still have to say goodbye." She smiled at him- a smile so sad and sweet it broke his heart.
Wordlessly he turned away, stumbling out of the graveyard. He didn't see her tears as she watched him go.
Numbly he walked back in the direction of the mansion...where Drusilla waited. Dru...now sleeping in the bed he'd shared with Buffy.
Spike felt a curious pain inside...he was worried, worried about Buffy in L.A. alone. A vampire with a soul...how would she fare among the more savage of their kind? His feet dragged more and more slowly as his steps carried him away from her.
Suddenly he stopped dead- a revelation crystal clear in his mind. She'd said that she could go to L.A.- not that she would.
"Bloody hell!" Spike swore loudly. "She'll sit on the damned tombstone until sunrise!"
He was just in time...the light was already starting to filter through when he scooped her up and carried her into the mausoleum.
He dumped her unceremoniously into the darkest corner.
"What do you think you're doing?" she demanded furiously.
His eyes narrowed dangerously. "I could ask the same question. You nearly got us both killed!"
For a long moment she didn't answer him. Then, "both?" she whispered.
I don't think I'd last too long without you, pet."
She shook her head, tears falling fast.
"Buffy..."
She still wouldn't look at him. "I...won't."
His eyes were intent on her averted face. "Why won't you?"
"You don't...love me."
He nearly laughed at that. "You know, pet, that wanker Angelus was right about one thing...you don't know much about men!"
"Ohh!" her eyes were blazing; and his grin widened. "I hate you!" she cried.
He cupped her face in his hands. "I'm all you've got."
Later- a long time later- she murmured with her head on his shoulder, "I wish we had our nice big bed back."
"We'll get another one when we get to L.A.," he assured her.
She pouted. "But...what'll we do until then?"
He stood up, removing his leather coat and spreading it out. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her thoroughly as he lowered her onto the coat.
"Improvise," he said.
