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I maintain that teenage girls (seventeen-year-olds in particular) are the single most dangerous creatures on the face of this earth. This isn't a rant so much as it is a confession, really. Oh great, I said the C word, now you're all scared shitless about what I'm going to say, aren't you? Well sit down, zip the lip, and pay attention, I'm going to explain. I'm not confessing anything about me, I'm just stating an opinion and telling a story. Oh shut up. Anyway... The other day I was talking with a coworker of mine and he related a particularly frightening story. Here's the short version--he met this beautiful woman, they talked, wound up dating, etc. She eventually wound up in his bed (several times). It's a typical story--no biggie, right? This happens all the time, right? Not quite. My coworker was under the impression she was 23. He showed me a picture of her--she did in fact look 23. Well they went to a bar one night and she got carded. She claimed she didn't have it on her, so they left. After they got back in the car, her purse somehow got flipped over, and her stuff fell out. My coworker started picking her things up, helping her put them back, but he happened to glance at her license as he was putting it back. She wasn't 23. She was 17. Born in 1984. Great. Needless to say their "perfect" relationship had to end. But although he broke it off with her, the story isn't 100% over. She got extremely pissed off and he hasn't heard from her since. The scary part is we don't know if she's going to tell the police just to spite him, or what! This girl is about 5'4, 110lbs. Cute, I'll admit, and also very slender. Now there is practically no way a girl that size could pose any kind of threat to a guy about 6' 200lbs, right? I guess what they say is true--the pen is mightier than the sword. 17 will get you 20, as they say... If she claims statuatory rape and my coworker can't defend himself, he goes to jail. He goes to jail because this girl lied to him. Fair, huh? Yea, right. So you see people, skinny 17 year old girls are more dangerous than 6' tall 200lb men. My advice to everyone out there is make sure you really know how old she is before you date her. An easy way to find out is to say something like "Oh hey, can you pick up a pack of Newports for me on your way over?" and if you don't smoke, add "My neighbor needs a pack." If she shows up with the Newports, odds are she's over 18. If not.....tread carefully, my friend. Tread carefully. |