LOVERS

Copyright 1992

Mary A. Battle

All Rights Reserved

Copyright April 1992. House Mouse

Publications. Rights revert to creator

upon publication. No reprints or other

use permitted without prior consent of

publisher.

This is a fan-produced publication and not

intended as an infringement on Paramount

Studios' copyrights to the characters in

Star Trek: The Next Generation.

This publication is for mature readers.

You must be 21 years of age or older.

Ensign Ro Laren still rubs people the wrong way. Even though she's proven herself a valuable asset to the Enterprise; especially during Deanna Troi's tenure as commanding officer of the ship; there are still some who will never trust Ensign Ro. To them, she will always be a danger to the Enterprise. It'll just be a matter of time before the proof would show itself, they believe. It seems, though, that she does have two supporters in her corner. One is Guinan. The other is ship's Counselor Deanna Troi. Guinan befriended her when she first arrived. Deanna and Laren became friends somewhere between the time of Troi's command "opportunity" and the time when the entire crew lost its collective memory. Laren and Troi ended up comparing notes regarding Will Riker. He still isn't quite sure what happened.

Laren realized that she could go to Deanna when she needed to talk to someone about things that bothered her. Deanna had sensed a problem within Laren but had never pushed the issue. Troi knew that Ensign Ro would come to see the ship's Counselor in her own good time. One afternoon, Deanna found a request for an appointment on her office viewer. This didn't usually surprise Troi. After all, as ship's Counselor, she was used to seeing such requests daily. But this one surprised her because the request came from Ensign Ro. It happened that Deanna had a cancellation of her last appointment that afternoon. She contacted Ensign Ro and informed her that there was an available time slot that very afternoon.

There was something unusual in Laren's request. Deanna had felt drawn to Laren in a way that was a little disconcerting to her. For the first time in her professional career and personal life, Deanna was afraid to see a patient. She did not understand it. She'd never felt that way before. When Laren arrived, Deanna felt even more unsure of herself. She was afraid to see Laren and that wasn't like Troi at all. Deanna always had so much self-confidence; outwardly anyway; and it was frightening to her to have this happen. Troi was nearly ready to contact her assistant department head and have her take the appointment. At the last moment though, Troi thought better of it. If Ro Laren had wanted to see anyone else, the request wouldn't have been on Troi's viewer.

"I'm glad you were able to see me so quickly Counselor," said Ro as she entered Troi's office and sat on the couch.

"Your request sounded urgent. It was fortunate for you that I had a cancellation. What can I help you with, Ensign?" Deanna said as she made her way to the sideboard.

Even though most of the time she used the replicator, every now and then she preferred to use her tea service. It had been left to her by her father. It had been in his family for more years than she could count. He had once said that it had been passed on through the generations since the time of the late 1700's by the old Earth calendar.

"Would you care for a cup of tea?" she asked as she poured herself a cup.

"No, thank you Counselor," replied Ro Laren. "Counselor, there is something I need to discuss with you. I feel I should tell you something about my personality. I know that you are an empath and a partial telepath, but I'm not sure how your senses would be able to deal with me," continued Ro Laren.

"Laren, if I may call you that, I am telepathic only among my own race; but I do sense a certain discomfort in you. I've felt it for some time, but I didn't want to intrude on your personal life unless it affected you in the performance of your duties. And it hasn't. I knew that you would come to see me when you felt comfortable discussing whatever it is that's bothering you."

Deanna had that feeling of uneasiness again. But along with it was a sense of understanding and a realization of what had been bothering Ensign Ro. Laren looked into Troi's eyes and she saw that Deanna understood. Suddenly, Ensign Ro got up and moved toward the door of Troi's office. It was as though she had seen through into Deanna's thoughts, and wanted to get as far from Troi as possible. When Ensign Ro had risen, Troi had gone to refill her tea cup. Deanna asked a very personal question of Ro Laren as she poured a cup for Laren as well as herself.

"Laren, why haven't you told anyone that you were a lesbian?" asked Troi without even looking in Ensign Ro's direction.

Troi had asked the question with her back to Ensign Ro. Deanna knew without even looking that Laren had stopped dead in her tracks in the open doorway. She turned to face Deanna with a look of surprise on her face. Troi had moved back toward the sofa and put the two cups of tea down on the coffee table.

"Please, sit back down Laren. It will be all right. We have plenty of time. Yours was my last appointment today. We can talk all night if you wish," said Deanna as she came forward and guided Ro Laren back to the couch and sat down beside her.

"Counselor, please; your attention is appreciated but..."

"Laren, you are not contagious. You don't have a fatal disease. You have always maintained yourself within the parameters of civilized behavior. As long as you continue to do so, no one need know of your orientation. But I want you to know that if I hear, or sense, that you have been indiscreet; I'll jump right down your throat. Is that clear Ensign?"

There was still something that was bothering Deanna. She couldn't quite put her finger on it. Troi was still uncomfortable. Ensign Ro seemed to sense Deanna's feeling and subtly shifted position away from Troi.

"Counselor, are you uncomfortable in my presence?"

"Yes I am, but not in the way you think. I won't lie to you. I've had an odd feeling for weeks now. I've had to re-evaluate my abilities. Having to take command was frightening to me. I was trained at Starfleet Medical. I was already a practicing psychologist when I entered Starfleet Academy. Needless to say, Command College was not on my list of things to do. I think you knew how unsure I was in command."

"You handled yourself quite well Counselor. I never had a chance to tell you. Perhaps being an empath was the reason we survived. You maintained your conviction that we give everyone a chance."

"It seems as though you have become my counselor Laren. Thank you," said Troi as she put her hand on Ensign Ro's arm.

"Thank you Counselor," replied Ro Laren as she covered Deanna's hand with her own.

Deanna reacted as though she had received a static electric shock. Ensign Ro quickly rose from the couch. She acted as though it had just caught fire. She wanted to disappear into the bowels of the ship. Troi's neck hair was standing on end.

"I'd better be going now. It's getting late. Computer, what time is it?" Ro Laren asked as she made her way to the door.

"It is rather late, but neither of us has had dinner yet. Would you care to join me Ensign? We can eat in Ten Forward if you feel uncomfortable elsewhere," said Troi as she rose.

"Are you comfortable enough with me Counselor? I wouldn't want you to feel oddly about being with me. It's difficult for me to deal with those who know; or suspect; that I am different. I've always been something of an outcast. I learned to build a wall for protection. The fiasco that put me in the brig didn't help either. That will always be a problem I will have to live with. But that, on top of the fact that I've kept my sexual orientation hidden, just reinforces the wall I have. I need it even more. I'm always afraid that I'll say or do something that will offend someone; as I did just a few moments ago."

"Is that why you usually have your meals in your quarters and rarely come to Ten Forward? Now I begin to understand. It seems we have much to discuss. Let's begin with dinner, and go from there. How does that sound?" Troi said as she walked to the door.

Deanna stopped in the open doorway and faced Ro Laren, who was following Troi.

"And by the way, I was not offended," she added as an after-thought.

As Ensign Ro nodded in agreement, she and Deanna left Troi's office on Deck 12 and headed for Ten Forward. As they ate, they quietly continued their discussion. Guinan headed off any would-be intruders for them. It was as if she knew that there was an invisible DO NOT DISTURB sign hung up. Also, most of Troi's friends have learned that; on occasion; she would move her "meetings" to Ten Forward as a way of relaxing her patients. When Troi had her back to the room, it usually meant that a private conversation was in progress.

As they continued their conversation, Deanna felt much more comfortable with Ensign Ro. Perhaps she realized that Laren would not bite. Inside, Troi may have had the same misgivings that everyone else had. She had to deal with a very angry young woman who; because of her preference for sexual intimacy with other women; had countered that with hostility. Troi needed to get through that anger. Deanna also had to deal with her own feelings of discomfort with Laren for this reason. Her own feelings were getting in the way of her ability to do her job. Troi sensed that Ensign Ro understood her feelings and stayed securely behind her self-imposed prison wall. Deanna knew it would take a lot of time and patience on both their parts to be comfortable.

By the time they finished talking and having dinner, it was nearly midnight. They were shocked that it was so late. The time had flown by so quickly. Deanna felt that they had gotten a lot accomplished. Ro Laren had the same feeling. And something else as well. Ro Laren felt that; for the first time in her life; it was not a crime to be a lesbian. Troi had treated her with respect and understanding. Deanna had even admitted her initial discomfort. Most people just avoided her like the plague or came to the conclusion that she was a bitch and immediately disliked her. It was refreshing to be treated like everyone else.

As they returned to their quarters, Deanna began to get that feeling again. Laren seemed to notice a subtle shift in Troi's posture and immediately retreated half-a-step. Deanna turned to Ro Laren with a look of apology on her face. Troi also blushed with embarrassment. Laren gave her a nod of understanding. That didn't make Troi feel any better. She just deepened two more shades of red. Troi wished a bulkhead would open and make her disappear. Finally, they reached Deck 8.

"Good night Counselor," said Ro Laren as she reached her quarters.

Deanna's quarters were in the next section beyond hers. Troi's quarters were around the corner of the far bulkhead. Her room number was 0910. Laren's was 2943. Troi had the Earth equivalent of about 3 blocks to go before reaching the safety of her own quarters. It suddenly seemed like an awfully long corridor. 'What is wrong with me' thought Troi. She had trouble focusing on her door.

"Good night Laren. Sleep well. Let me know if you wish to see me again."

"Thank you Deanna. You've been most helpful. Good night," said Ensign Ro as she entered her quarters.

Deanna started down the hall toward her quarters but stopped about halfway there. She had a feeling that she was being followed. But; when she looked; there was no one there. Troi was really on edge. It wasn't like her to be so jumpy. She felt silly. She shook her head and turned back in the direction of her quarters and ran right into Captain Picard. She let out a cry of surprise.

"Are you all right Counselor?" he asked.

"Yes Captain. You just startled me, that's all. I've been a bit jumpy all evening," explained Deanna.

"It is rather late for you to be up, isn't it? You tend to retire a little bit earlier, don't you?" asked Picard without trying to sound like a scolding parent.

"Yes sir, but I had a long session this evening. It lasted into; and through; dinner," said Deanna as she started for her quarters again.

"I saw you in Ten Forward with Ensign Ro. I assume that she was your appointment," Picard said as he fell into step with her.

"As a matter of fact, she was."

Deanna knew that the Captain would not ask about the contents of the meeting. It was protected by doctor/patient confidentiality. Even though Captain Picard was head-and-shoulders taller than Deanna, he shortened his own long stride to stay in step with Troi. Inwardly, he wanted to be sure that she reached her quarters all right. He felt that something was wrong with his ship's Counselor, but wasn't sure what it was. When they reached her quarters, she felt much better. Sometimes she tended to be afraid of the dark; even though the lights automatically come on when the door opens. She knew it was silly. She was a grown woman who could take care of herself; but every now and then...

Captain Picard was giving her the oddest look. She was seeing him through a haze; as though she were light-headed and about to faint. She tried to focus on his voice.

"Are you sure you're all right Deanna?" she heard him say; yet it sounded so far away. "Perhaps you'd better see Doctor Crusher. You look a little pale. I hope you're not becoming ill," said a concerned Picard as he reached out a supportive hand.

"No, I'll be fine Captain. I just need to get some sleep, that's all. Thank you for your concern sir," said Troi as she punched in her access code to release the security mechanism of her door.

"Very well Counselor. But if you still feel like this in the morning, I want you to see Beverly. Is that understood?"

"Yes sir. I understand. If you'll excuse me sir, I'll say good night," said Troi as she stepped through her door.

"Of course Deanna. Good night," said Picard as he watched her enter her quarters and saw the door close behind her.

If Picard had possessed x-ray vision, he would have seen Troi take about three steps and then collapse; hitting her head. However, he was concerned enough to call Doctor Beverly Crusher and inform her of a possible health problem with Troi.

"Doctor Crusher, this is Captain Picard. I've just left Counselor Troi. She didn't look well. Could you check on her please?"

The sound of his voice triggered her next actions. It wasn't like the Captain to call her without there being a very good reason for his concern. Beverly was in her quarters. In fact, she had just fallen asleep when the captain called.

"Of course Captain. I'll check the computer and get back to you. Crusher out. Computer, access medical trace for Counselor Deanna Troi. Give current status," said Beverly.

"Transporter; medical emergency! Lock onto Counselor Deanna Troi and beam her directly to Sickbay. Also beam me there as well. Medical Override Priority Crusher 1!"

Before Beverly finished her sentence, she found herself in Sickbay with Deanna on the floor next to her. A nurse appeared and helped Beverly get Troi onto a diagnostic bed. After checking the readings, Beverly gave Troi a dose of tricordrozine to stabilize her heart rate. Then she noticed a blood stain on the floor and on the sleeve of her pajama top. She then saw a trickle of blood from a cut on Deanna's right temple. Troi must have hit the sideboard near her door when she fell. The cut was deep and dangerously close to her eye. Beverly checked Troi's eye for damage. Fortunately, there was none.

Beverly sealed the wound with the surgical laser. It was then that Deanna began to come around. She was having trouble focusing but she recognized where she was. Troi saw Beverly hovering nearby and came forward when she saw Deanna move. Beverly had thrown a lab coat on over her pajamas while she waited for Troi to wake up.

"What happened? How did I get here?" asked a very bewildered Troi.

"Do you remember speaking with Captain Picard?" asked Beverly.

"Yes, vaguely; as if it were a dream. I have the most awful headache," said Troi as she reached for her forehead.

"I'm not surprised. You hit your head on your sideboard when you passed out. You also have a mild concussion."

"When I what?!" said Troi.

"The Captain contacted me after he left you at your door voicing his concerns that you may not be well. That concern prompted me to get a medical status check from the computer. When it said that you were in respiratory distress, I had you beamed directly here. End of story! Don't try to get up. This is where you sleep tonight. I want to make sure that you're all right. Something caused you to black out. I'll be running some tests on you tonight and again in the morning."

Doctor Crusher then gave Deanna a mild sedative to help her sleep. Beverly performed her tests and found that Deanna had not been sleeping well for almost a month. The medical trace logs; which record autonomic functions during sleep; indicated that on several occasions Counselor Troi had to induce sleep because she could not fall asleep on her own. That frightened Beverly. It meant that there was either something physically or emotionally wrong with Deanna. When she checked Deanna's personal logs, she found the same indications.

"Captain, I'm sorry to disturb you; but could please come to Sickbay."

"What is it Doctor? I was just getting ready for bed."

"I have Deanna down here. You were right to be concerned Jean-Luc. Deanna blacked out and hit her head."

"I'm on my way Beverly."

When Captain Picard arrived, she motioned for him to come into her office. When he sat down across from her, Beverly explained what she had found out.

"Jean-Luc, I think Deanna may be having a serious problem. I can't find anything physically wrong with her. I contacted her assistant department head, Lt. Commander K'mpel, but she didn't know anything. All she could say was that she could sense that Troi had been feeling uneasy lately. But since Deanna didn't discuss anything with her, she didn't push the issue. I also checked Deanna's personal logs for the last few weeks. I know I probably shouldn't have, but I need a starting point on how to treat this. I want you to hear this Jean-Luc:

Jean-Luc couldn't believe it. Then again; things that he had noticed but dismissed suddenly made sense to him. Deanna had seemed far away lately. What was bothering Deanna so much that she couldn't talk to her friends, her family, about it? Suddenly, Picard had an idea.

"Ensign Ro, please report to Sickbay immediately."

Ro Laren had just come out of the shower when the Captain's summons came. It was extremely late. When she'd arrived back in her own quarters, she'd had a shower. Then she had gotten herself a drink from the replicator. It was a Bajoran drink similar the Bourbon. She had been thinking about what she and Counselor Troi had been discussing in Ten Forward. She wondered how Deanna had known that she was a lesbian. Then something occurred to her.

The reaction Deanna had was similar to one she'd had when she was younger. Was Deanna trying to tell her something? Was Deanna finding herself attracted to Ro Laren? And worse yet, was Ro Laren finding herself attracted to the beautiful ship's Counselor? Was that why she felt comfortable finally telling her about herself? All these questions ran through Ro Laren's mind as she got back into uniform and headed for Sickbay.

"You wanted to see me Captain?" asked Ensign Ro as she entered Sickbay.

"Ensign, I'm not asking for the content of your discussions with Counselor Troi this evening; but did you notice anything unusual in her behavior?"

"No sir. Why do you ask?"

"Come with me Ensign," said Doctor Crusher.

Doctor Crusher led Ensign Ro into the main treatment area of Sickbay. Captain Picard followed behind them. Beverly pointed to a diagnostic bed at the far end with a sleeping figure on it. As she got closer, Ro Laren realized that it was Deanna!

"What happened Doctor?"

"We were hoping you could tell us. Did you notice anything odd? Deanna's logs indicate that she'd been having trouble sleeping lately. Did she mention any of this to you?" asked Beverly.

"She did mention that she'd had misgivings about her abilities since the time she'd had to take command. I think it frightened her that she'd been unable to do very much. I think her confidence was shaken," explained Ro.

"She did mention to me in the corridor that she'd been jumpy lately," added Picard.

"That would fit with the readings I've been getting. Her adrenaline levels are extremely elevated. She's also suffering from a concussion."

Ro Laren gave Beverly an odd look. When Beverly saw the question on Ro Laren's face, she continued.

"Deanna hit her head on the sideboard near her door. Apparently she blacked out," Beverly explained.

"I don't believe this. This is my fault. I never should've gone to her and told her," Ro Laren said to herself as she moved toward the sleeping Troi.

"What are you talking about Ensign?" asked Picard.

"Oh nothing sir. May I stay with Counselor Troi for awhile Doctor?" Laren asked.

She hadn't realized that Picard had heard what she said.

"I think that it would be all right," agreed Beverly.

"Thank you Doctor," said Laren.

Captain Picard and Doctor Crusher returned to her office as Ro Laren got a chair and moved it over to the bed where Deanna lay asleep. She had been there nearly two hours when Deanna woke up again. Laren had drifted off to sleep herself when she felt Deanna touch her leg.

"Laren, what are you doing here?" asked Troi when she saw Ensign Ro.

"The Captain sent for me. He was wondering if I noticed anything wrong with you this evening in Ten Forward. Did you know that he saw us there?"

"Yes I knew. I ran into him after you went into your quarters. What did you tell him?"

"Just that you were questioning your abilities since you were acting-Captain. That's all. But there's something else, isn't there? Doctor Crusher said you've been having trouble sleeping for weeks. What is it Deanna? Did what I told you have anything to do with this?"

"I don't think so, but I'm not sure. Everything's all mixed up. I can't think straight."

"Doctor Crusher gave you some medication to help your system return to normal. It was all out of whack. It's probably begun to work and you'll be able to sleep without any more help. I'll be going now. Good night Deanna."

"Laren, don't leave yet," said Deanna as she reached for Ro's hand.

Deanna looked to be sure that no one could overhear them. Ensign Ro looked around as well. Laren lowered her voice to a whisper and took Troi's hand in hers.

"What is it Deanna? What has you so scared that you're having trouble sleeping? And having command wasn't the whole story, was it? It's me! I frighten you! My lifestyle is what bothers you. I'm sorry Deanna. I didn't realize that it would affect you so much."

"It's not that. I'm frightened because I have felt myself being drawn to you. How long have you known that you were .... like that?"

"I think I've always known. And yes, I have had relationships before. Look Deanna, we can continue this at a later time. Right now, you need to get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow. Good night Counselor."

"Thank you Laren. Good night."

With that, Ensign Ro left Sickbay and returned to her quarters. As for ship's Counselor Deanna Troi, she was finally able to drift off to sleep without any help. But her dreams were filled with the young ensign who had possibly awakened something in Deanna that had always been there but hidden.

Deanna's dream that night would probably have surprised those she knew. In her dream, Deanna saw herself walking along the corridor of Deck 8. She wore a soft down sweater of pale peach, which tended to slip off one shoulder, and a matching skirt which flowed around her knees. She stopped at a door and rang the chime. A voice inside answered. Deanna entered and sat down. The owner of the voice appeared in the doorway. She was wearing a cream shirt and dark pants.

"Welcome Deanna," said Ro Laren.

"Hello Laren," replied Troi as she rose.

"Would you care for a drink? Wine?!"

"Yes please."

"Computer, two glasses of white zinfandel."

When the glasses appeared, Ro Laren offered one to Deanna. She sensed that Deanna was uncomfortable being there; considering the reason. Laren walked back nearer the center of the main room. She turned to face Troi.

"Deanna, you can still leave. I promise I won't make any advances unless you want me to. I realize that this is all new to you. It's all right to be uncertain. I want you to be comfortable with your own sexuality. I don't want you to do anything that you aren't comfortable doing. You don't have to do this."

"I think I do," said Deanna.

Troi came forward and began to stroke Laren's cheek. Laren took Deanna's hand and kissed her fingertips. She then gently kissed the palm of Deanna's hand and the inside of Troi's wrist. With her other hand, Laren began to stroke Deanna's cheek in the same manner. She moved up to the place where Deanna had hit her head. Laren kissed the corner of Troi's right eye and then the corner of the other eye. Deanna closed her eyes and opened her mind to Ro Laren. Deanna felt a shiver go down her spine. Troi realized that she had never felt anything like this with any of the men she had known. Not even Will Riker had been this gentle. It made Deanna take a step back. She needed to focus for a moment.

"What's wrong Deanna? Do you want to leave? Do you want me to stop?"

Deanna shook her head and gave Laren a hug. Troi began to kiss her new lover's throat. Laren wrapped her arms around Troi and began to stroke Deanna's hair. Ro Laren felt Deanna probe her emotions. She carefully opened them to Troi's mind. Deanna lifted her head up and met Laren's lips with her own. It was tentative; as if neither was really sure of what would happen next.

Over the next few hours, Deanna and Laren continued to explore each other's bodies and responses to probing fingers. Neither woman could believe what was happening. Deanna realized that Laren's former lovers had to have been extremely gentle and patient teachers. Troi was grateful for that. They had moved from the main room of Ro Laren's quarters to the bedroom by this time. Ro Laren made sure that; at each juncture of the intimacy; Deanna was comfortable.

It was as if there were invisible lines at each juncture. Laren never crossed those lines until Troi was ready to go forward. Which explained why both women were still in their undergarments. They were lying on the bed in each other's' arms. Their outer clothing was strewn all over the floor. Laren was gently tracing the outline of Deanna's corset when she moved away.

"Are you all right Deanna?" asked Laren as she laid quietly on the bed watching Troi.

Laren was propped up on an elbow as they spoke.

"I think so. I'm just a little scared. I feel like I did with my first lover. Your emotions are very passionate. I need time to sort them out. My own emotions are getting in the way," said Troi as she sat up in bed.

"I'm sorry. I'm moving too quickly. It's not too late for you to change your mind and leave Deanna. There's plenty of time for us. I'm not going anywhere," said Laren as she reached up and stroked Troi's cascading hair.

"I know," said Troi.

Deanna got out of bed and began to undo the hooks of her corset. Laren also sat up now. She didn't take her eyes off Deanna's as she undid the hooks. Troi was about three steps from the bed. Laren left the bed and took Deanna's shoulders.

"Deanna, are you sure about this? The rest can wait until you're really ready."

Laren had moved her hands over Deanna's just as Troi was undoing the last of the hooks. A smile crossed Troi's lips as she allowed the corset to fall to the floor. She followed it with her panties. She stood there for a moment, then she returned to her lover's arms. Ro Laren took Deanna in her waiting arms. The kiss they shared was deep and passionate. Laren began to gently trace the marks on Deanna's back which her corset had left. Deanna reached behind Laren and undid Ro's own bra. They returned to the warmth of Laren's bed. Ro Laren began to massage Deanna's back so as to ease the marks made by Troi's corset.

Deanna was surprised at how wonderful and gentle a spinal massage could be when done by a woman's loving hands. Deanna began to trace the marks left behind by Laren's bra straps as well. Their loving became even more intimate. Laren had begun to gently circle Deanna's breasts with the tips of her fingers. Troi shivered at her touch and her nipples became hard. Laren felt the reaction and stopped.

"Is everything all right Deanna?"

"Yes. Don't stop. Your touch is so gentle. It just surprises me, that's all."

Troi opened her heart to Laren and allowed the waves of love emanating from Laren to overwhelm her. Deanna never knew that she could be aroused to such heights. Troi reached out and traced Laren's nipples. Deanna and Laren continued their lovemaking. Deanna couldn't believe it was happening. None of her previous lovers had ever made her feel like this. Only once did Deanna stop Laren. It was when she felt Laren moving toward her crotch.

"Laren ..........."

"Do you want me to stop?" Laren asked as she moved back up to face Deanna.

The look in Deanna's eyes said two things: the first was that no one had ever done to her what Laren was about to do; and the second was that she was afraid.

"Deanna, you know how I feel about you. I've never opened my mind and heart like that to anyone in a very long time. I would never do anything to cause you pain. I don't want you to be afraid of me. I love you Deanna Troi."

Then, as if a final barrier had been wiped away, Laren felt Deanna make her way down Laren's body. Laren felt Deanna's tongue on her clitoris and then go into her cunt. This brought Laren to climax. As Deanna came back up toward Laren's breasts again, Laren gently rolled Troi over and made her way down Deanna's body. She wasn't stopped this time. Deanna and Laren continued their lovemaking until both women were satisfied. Deanna could not believe what had occurred. She couldn't believe that her sexuality had been enhanced by the loving touch of another woman. It was an incredible sensation.

Deanna wanted to stay in Ro Laren's arms for as long as Laren would allow her. She began to drift off into an unexpectedly sound sleep in her lover's arms. Suddenly, everything began to move in slow motion and became rather hazy. Deanna saw Laren begin to disappear. She realized that she was beginning to awaken from her dream. She didn't want the dream to end. She needed some answers and this dream held them for her. And she also realized something else as well. Troi understood now why she had been so drawn to Ro Laren. Her dream had answered all her questions.

"Good morning Deanna," said Beverly as she entered with tricorder in hand.

"Good morning. When can I get out of here Beverly?" asked Deanna as she sat up on the bed.

"Soon now. But first I need to ask you some questions Troi. You scared me to death when I saw your readings last night. Why didn't you tell me that you'd been having trouble sleeping? I'm no psychologist, but I am your friend. Couldn't you come to me about what's been bothering you? Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you Beverly. You're my dearest friend. I trust you with my life. But this is something that I can't discuss with you. I would if I could, you know that. I'm sorry."

"I know," Beverly conceded, "I'm here if you need me. You know that too. I'll spring you on one condition. Promise me that if you ever have any more trouble sleeping, that you'll let me know. And come see me if you need someone to talk to. Or at least go and speak with your own assistant, Lee K'mpel. Is it a deal?"

"I promise Beverly. Thanks for everything."

"All right Counselor. Beat it!"

Deanna Troi dressed and returned to her own quarters. When she arrived, she asked the computer where she would find Ensign Ro.

Deanna knew that Holodeck 1 was pre-programmed as a lakeshore area. This was so the crew could feel like they were home even when they were in deep space. The Holodeck saved the sanity of many a crew member. Deanna would prescribe specific sessions on the Holodecks for some of her patients. She particularly enjoyed the program on Holodeck 1. She'd talked the captain into setting up that program and locking it. It was the only program run on that holodeck. At some point or other, everyone found their way there.

Troi put on her bathing suit and robe. She headed for the nearby turbolift. When Troi arrived at the holodeck, she took off her robe and grabbed a towel to lay on the beach. Deanna was greeted by several swimmers. Ro Laren had seen Deanna arrive from the island. Laren dove in and swam back to the main beach. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her waist. Deanna saw her coming. She took a deep breath and sat up.

"Hello Counselor. How are you feeling?" Laren asked as she came up to where Deanna was sitting.

"I'm fine now Ensign. Thank you for asking. Doctor Crusher gave me a clean bill of health. Would you care to join me? There's plenty of room. There's something that we need to discuss."

Ro Laren gave Troi an odd look. She wasn't sure that this particular topic should be discussed on the ship's beach. Deanna sensed Laren's discomfort. She understood how Ro Laren felt. But she needed to speak with Laren about her dream. Troi nodded that it would be all right. Laren laid her towel next to Troi's and sat down. Deanna had been sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees. She shifted so that her hands were holding one knee and she stretched out her other leg. Laren was sitting Indian-style facing Deanna.

"After you left last night, I had a rather interesting dream," began Troi.

Ro Laren gave Deanna a rather quizzical look. Then she suddenly remembered her own dream of the night before. She had awakened that morning with the strangest feeling that she had been with a new, inexperienced, but surprisingly passionate lover. Laren hadn't been able to see the face of her new lover. It had been a very erotic and sensual dream. Now Ro Laren finally realized who her dream lover was. Troi sensed Laren's sudden insight and blushed. Who had read who's mind?!

"Deanna, we had the same dream. Only I couldn't see the face of the woman I was with. But I suddenly realized that ...... "

"..... that I was the woman in your dream," finished Troi.

They sat there on the beach and Troi wondered if Laren could hear, or sense, her thoughts.

"Laren, would you mind if I try something? I'd like to see if you can hear, or sense, my thoughts. You need to relax and empty your mind. Don't force the process. Just let me know if you sense anything," explained Troi.

Troi positioned herself so that she was sitting Indian-style and facing Laren. Deanna closed her eyes and began to concentrate. She sent a message to Laren's mind. Ro Laren sensed the effort but couldn't "hear" what Troi was saying. Laren let Troi know the result. It was not surprising. She'd had the same problem with Will Riker in the beginning. He had learned quickly to receive and send thought. She felt that it would be equally easy to teach Ro Laren the technique.

Troi always enjoyed coming to the ship's beach. It made up for the fact that they didn't often have a chance to have shore leave on a planetside starbase. She was able to relax here. The program was nothing specific. It was simply a combination of beaches on Earth and other planets. She and Laren spent the afternoon there. The dream was not discussed again; however, there was an underlying current of intrigue and unspoken thoughts and feelings beginning to surface between the women.

Finally, Deanna rose to leave. Laren remained where she was. She didn't want to intrude or impose herself on Troi. Ro Laren was still afraid that she would compromise Troi's position as ship's Counselor; not to mention the fact that Troi outranked Laren by three grade levels. The dream bothered her a little. Laren was unsure as to whether it had been a premonition of something that would happen; or just wishful thinking. Had Troi projected her desires into Laren's mind?

Or had Deanna sensed Laren's preference and created the dream which Troi then projected to Ro Laren? Or, as a third possibility; one which Laren really didn't want to believe; had Ro Laren unintentionally created the dream out of her own desires for the beautiful ship's Counselor and projected them herself into Deanna's mind? This third possibility frightened Laren. She knew she wasn't a telepath. But if this is what had happened, the question now was what to do about it?

"Aren't you coming Laren?" asked Troi when she noticed that Laren hadn't gotten up as well.

"I'll stay here awhile longer I think. You have many things to think about Counselor. You need to decide for yourself what you want to do. When, and if, you're ready to turn your dream into reality; I'll know," said Laren as she looked up at Deanna.

Troi was silhouetted against the sun, so Laren couldn't see Deanna's face as she spoke. Ro Laren tried to shade her eyes in order to get a better look at Troi's reaction to what she had just said.

"Laren, would you have dinner with me this evening; in my quarters?" asked Troi.

"No, I don't think so Counselor. As you have already said, don't force the process. It will take time and patience. We have both in abundance."

"I understand. Goodbye Laren."

With that, Deanna Troi left. She knew in her heart that Ro Laren was right. But; even though as ship's Counselor she had to have patience to deal with those who needed her; she still was not a very patient person by nature when it came to what she wanted for herself. Still in all, there was something in what Ro Laren had said. It would take time for Deanna and Laren to decide when, and if, this was merely a coincidence; or whether the dream was somehow trying to tell both women something that they weren't sure that either wanted to know.

And if they did do as the dream suggested; namely become lovers; how would Deanna deal with it. Laren knew that Deanna was confused about the dream. And it was understandable. When Laren had begun her first affair with another woman, she had been scared too. It was not something that was begun lightly. There could be serious repercussions when someone; who has never had an experience of that nature; is involved. And Laren did still have to remember that Deanna was her superior officer. There were still regulations regarding that. Although, they were only enforced if one party objected; at a later time, Troi could press charges if the affair wasn't what Deanna thought it would be.

But Laren was getting ahead of herself. She would simply have to wait and see if Deanna came to her of her own free will. If so, then she would have to tread softly. Laren also realized that she needed to speak with someone about what had been happening. And there was only one person on the Enterprise that she could go to. Laren picked up the towel, laid it on a nearby chair and; donning a robe she'd brought with her; headed for Ten Forward. She needed to speak with Guinan.

The next day, Deanna dressed in her duty uniform and reported to the Bridge. Beverly had given her a clean bill of health. Troi's schedule was light that day. She kept it that way for nearly a week. She had to get her bearings again. She needed time to think. Troi was able to catch up on her back-logged reports and evaluations. Deanna also had time to contemplate everything that had been happening in the last two weeks. One day, Troi finished an appointment and began working on the evaluation. After several hours, the words on the PADD began to run together and Deanna realized how hungry and tired she was. She made her way to Ten Forward to have some dinner.

It was rather late and there were few patrons. Deanna found a table near the window in the far corner. Guinan had seen her come in. She had been speaking to Will Riker. His eyes followed hers and he spotted Deanna taking her seat. A waiter had just taken Troi's order when Will came over with a drink for each of them. Deanna was so lost in thought that she didn't even notice that Will had come up to the table. He had a Samarian Sunset for her in his hand.

"Complements of the management," he said as he put the glass down on the table and tapped it.

"I didn't order this. You must be ......... Will! Hello there," said Troi when she realized who it was.

"May I join you? You seem so far away Deanna. What is it?" asked Will as he began to sit across from her.

"If you don't mind Will, I'd rather be left alone. I've got some things to think about. Besides, I'm trying to get rid of a headache."

Will came around behind her and began to gently massage her neck and shoulders. Will's touch told him just how tense Deanna was. As he rubbed her shoulders, she began to loosen up somewhat. Will's hands had always had a magic touch to them where Deanna was concerned. But now was not the time to end up in Will's arms; and possibly his bed.

"Will don't," said Troi as she reached up with her hands and stopped him.

"What is it Deanna? What's troubling you so? Imzadi?!" exclaimed Riker as he came around to face Troi and took her hands in his.

Troi knew that Will meant well, but her mind was so confused that even the use of that word just made things worse. Riker seemed to understand and; after kissing Troi goodbye on the cheek; left her to her thoughts. Deanna's meal arrived and she began to eat. However, her mind was not on her dinner. Riker returned to the bar and Guinan met him at the far end.

"Guinan, what's wrong with Deanna? It's like she's afraid of my touch. What's happening? I know she's been unsure of herself since that day she was in command by default; but that was months ago. Could you try and talk to her Guinan? Maybe she'll open up to you."

"Commander, what makes you think she'll tell me something she won't tell you? I'm no counselor. I'm just a bartender."

"But she trusts you Guinan. When she lost her empathic ability, you convinced her that she could still function by using her human intuition. Whatever's wrong may be uncomfortable for her to discuss with me, or any man; but she might tell another woman. Please, help me reach her Guinan."

"All right, yet I dislike prying into people's affairs. But Deanna is my friend and I have been worried about her. I know how you feel about her Commander. Let me see what I can do; but I make no promises. And if she doesn't want me to tell you what's been bothering her, I will abide by her wishes, understood?" she agreed.

"Understood Guinan. Thank you."

Will Riker left Ten Forward wondering if he'd done the right thing in asking for Guinan's help; and headed for the Bridge. He had the watch that night. He took one last look back at Deanna as he went through the door. Suddenly; looking at her; he had a feeling that she'd left his life forever. The feeling made him uneasy and followed him as he heard the door whoosh closed behind him.

"Counselor, may I join you?" asked Guinan as she came around to face Deanna.

"Hello Guinan. Did Will ask you to come over here and see me?" asked a disgruntled Troi as she took a sip of her Samarian Sunset.

It seemed as though no matter how loudly Deanna insisted on some privacy; it was the one thing that she would not be receiving. She motioned for Guinan to join her.

"Commander Riker is concerned. You've been the topic of choice among your friends. They all care about you Deanna."

Guinan chose her next words carefully before speaking.

"Is it because of your dream that you're afraid to face your friends?"

Deanna gave Guinan a startled look. She kept forgetting about Guinan's unusual "senses". Troi couldn't "read" Guinan. She assumed that Guinan belonged to a humanoid race that was undetectable to her empathic abilities. She was the only person on board; with the exception of Data; who could sneak up on Deanna unnoticed. Guinan did have certain insights which no one could; and she wouldn't; explain.

"How did you know about it? Guinan, only one other person knows about my dream."

"I know. You're highly attracted to Ro Laren, aren't you? It frightens you. She confided to you that she prefers the sexual intimacy of other women. Deanna; you can't decide what to do, can you?"

"Oh Guinan. What do I do? I'm so mixed up. My dream was so enticing. And then Laren said that she'd had a similar dream the same night. Was my mind trying to tell me where I need to be? Have I always been like this? What's happening to me?" Troi said.

She hid her face in her hands to hide the tears from Guinan. But Guinan already knew the answers. Ensign Ro had come to her after she and Troi had spoken on Holodeck 1. She knew all about the problem. Now she had to make sure that the decision was Deanna's; and no one else's.

"Do you want my honest opinion?" Guinan asked.

Troi nodded her head. She looked into the eyes of the strange woman who ran the bar they called Ten Forward.

"You've always followed your heart. You've lived your life and made your decisions based on those feelings. You've always chosen the path you needed to follow at any particular stage in your life. You've 'outgrown' Commander Riker. You will always be friends, but you may never return to him as a lover. At least, not in the near future. Now, you need to walk down another path. Listen to your heart."

Deanna listened to what Guinan had to say. She understood what Guinan was telling her. Guinan was telling Deanna that perhaps she needed the intimacy of a woman at this time in her life. And; maybe later; be able to return to Will Riker. Troi thanked Guinan for her help. She would follow her heart; no matter where it led or what would happen when she arrived. Deanna made her way to the turbolift.

"Deck 8," she said as the doors closed.

  When she arrived at her destination, she stepped out of the turbolift and took a deep breath. Deanna closed her eyes and focused on what she was about to do. Troi made her way down the corridor. She stopped in front of Room 2943. She seemed to hesitate before she rang the chime. Troi was about to turn away from the door when the resident answered her ring. Maybe she had been secretly hoping that no one would be home.

"Who is it?" asked the resident.

"May I come in Laren? It's Deanna Troi," asked Deanna.

"Of course Counselor," answered Ro as she opened the door to her quarters.

Deanna noticed that Ro Laren hadn't quite finished tying her robe as she stepped back from the door.

"Am I disturbing you?"

"Not at all. I just came from the shower."

Deanna noticed that Ro Laren was ready for bed. She didn't want to intrude. Although Troi did not sense anyone else in the room, she felt strange being there considering the lateness of the hour.

"I'm sorry. I'm bothering you. I'd better leave."

"No, it's all right. I haven't been to bed yet. I was just about to."

Laren noticed that Troi looked uneasy and a little bit uncomfortable. Deanna was still standing near the door. It was as if she looked like a rabbit that was trying to avoid being trapped.

"Is there something I can do for you Counselor? May I get you something to drink?"

Deanna suddenly felt extremely unsure as to what to do. How would she let Ro Laren know that she had finally made her decision? She wished that she could have a cup of tea. It always steadied her nerves. Laren had been watching Deanna intently. It got very quiet in the room.

"Computer, Earl Grey, hot; two cups," ordered Laren.

Troi jumped because of the quiet. She'd been startled when Laren spoke.

"Is tea all right, or would you prefer something a little stronger?"

"No, tea's fine. Thank you Laren," said Troi.

Deanna and Laren's fingers lightly touched when the cup was taken by Troi. Laren looked into Troi's eyes and realized why Deanna was there. Laren walked toward the dressing area of her quarters and turned to face Deanna.

"You've made your decision, haven't you?"

"Yes, I have," said Troi as she took a sip of the tea.

THE END?