He's just a guy trying to make a living in outer space.

 

Meet Krash Freeway - Intergalactic Tow Trucker. Adventurer. Universal Savior.

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The Making of a Tow Truck Driver

 

On a small blue-green hazy planet that most of you are probably familiar with, a baby boy (human) was born in the Terran relative year 2028 (galactic year: 2.3x10⁶⁵⁴³). As a boy, he excelled in several things, but was particularly adept at theft. Krash Freeway was gifted at birth with hyper-cleptocism. By age ten, he had stolen everything under the sun (only the blue-green, hazy planet’s sun, of course, as he hadn’t the chance to steal under other stars yet). He mainly stuck to vehicles, like cars, trucks, but occasionally went after intergalactic cruisers. In fact, the cruisers led to his getting noticed and his acquiring his first legitimate job, relatively speaking.

 

The Terran Government had just recently won the intergalactic war against everybody. The Earth Space Armada, however, was very limited. Its crude defensive and offensive strategies proved indomitable against its opponents. But the basic technology that everybody else had was lacking in the Earth vessels. Light speed was not yet possible with Earth technology. In fact, the Terran warships were basically a cross between old sea faring battleships and submarines. It had become the prime directive of the TMC (Terran Military Council) to acquire as much technology from the alien races as possible, legally or illegally.

 

The peace talks were to be held on the humans’ home world, since they could travel little elsewhere. The huge flagships of the alien worlds that had been spared destruction would carry the diplomats from the furthest reaches of the galaxy. These flagships were the pride and joy of the alien races, furnished with the greatest weapons and technology a race had to offer, the very same weapons and technology the TMC desired. Earth could destroy the warships with their incredibly random battle tactics, but how to capture one of these giant light speed ships was another story. What they needed to do was to steal one of the alien warships under the flag of truce during the diplomatic peace talks. They needed somebody who could steal anything - somebody as distant from the TMC as possible, so as not to raise suspicion. They needed a young boy named Krash Freeway - a young boy that was to change the course of galactic history and help put Earth on the map.

But that’s another story…

 

Find out more about Krash Freeway and his adventurous (and generally criminally psychotic) cohorts.

Find out why he has a tow truck named Tow Truck.

Find out more than you ever thought you'd want to know about the
most famous man in the entire galaxy.