ART LOADING
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PARODY, GAME AIDE



There is a roleplaying game out there
called 'Unknown Armies' which is quite good.
This is the (recently modified) information I hand out to players
before I start a campaign.

What we have here is an overview, more or less, of the various conspiracies, cabals and major players in the game universe (and, more importantly, in the PC's town.)

In this case, the information is presented as the rantings of a Very Exciteable conspiracy theorist.

Most people in the occult world are familiar by now with Greg Stolze and John Tynes' dangerously seditious broadsheet, "Unknown Armies." (No copies are currently available as authorities have confscated the printing machinery in Greg's mom's basement.) I have never met neither personally, but there works speaks for it'self.  The "Unknown Armies" of which they're newseletter speaks are EVERYWHERE and we must be alert, ready to battle spuernatural evil at EVERY TURN!

I am bringing this page to you at great personel risk and life and limb.  Copy the information quickley, as WATCHEFUL EYES SCAN TEH INTERNET CONSTENTLY!

You might have heard it already, but the world is getting ready to end.  A lot of people breathed a sigh of releif when the milleneum passed, but that wasn’t even worth the hype!  The world ends all the time.  Maybe you heard about the golden age or the extinction of the dinosaurs or the great flood? The guy to ask about it is the Comte St. Germaine.  He’s the first and last man, Earth’s only true immortal.  Somehow, the guy is linked to it all and, whenever he starts showing up, it means the end is near.  There’s a bunch of whackos outside of town who live in a perpetual state of fear, half-worshipping St. Germane and preparing to fight to the death when the big Saint G brings the world crashing down around our ears. What’s worse, there’s apparently some other group out there that knows how to summon St. Germain (maybe he’s half demon or something) and bring down a little of the apocallypse in a very personal and in-yer-face way.  Some say that the recent unpleasantness is this group's gearing up for the ritual.

Interestingly enough, St. Germaine is said to have had a lot of different aliases over the years, from the mysterious Abra-Melin the Jew to the imposter and con-man, Cagliostro, of Italy.

As adults, in BODY, MIND and SPIRIT, we are entitled to truth in reporting.  To withhold the Truth  when it is Known only tends to make the general populace suspect and enraged, ready to strike out at Shadows in the corners.  These Truths are based on PERSONAL EXPERIENCE and knbowledge [sic]!

The propoganda machines of the Yankees and the Insiders and the Abecedarian Remnant have tried to suppress and oppress, crushing with practiced skill the truths of the coming end!  This is because they are all compeeting for utlimate power! The Power of Magic!

The occult community really only has one thing in common, a sure and certain knowledge that magic exists, the soul is real and there’s more on heaven and Earth than is dreamt of in any philosophy.

Magic works, I know it.  I have seen it.  Mabny others can ateste to the Truth!

Sometimes magic works.  We’re not talking about answered prayers and drawing down the moon (although these little rituals work about the same in the Occult World as they do in less unreliable environments.)  We’re talking about big whammies and immortality potions, angry poltergeists and dragon fire.

A few people have stumbled upon this kind of magic.  You might oppose it or worship it or attempt to understand and refine it, but the fact remains that now you know about it.  Very few other people do.  That makes you in danger!

Those who do realize the potency of  this kind of magic know that it has a Very Personal nature.  What works for one person may not work for another.  Attitude has a lot to do with it, sometimes birth plays a hand and sacrifice is always required.  Furthermore, it’s clear that this is all leading up to something Big.  Maybe the world is coming to an end or maybe a new age of wonder and rebirth is about to happen.

The important thing is that those who are in on the world’s biggest secrets (which is what the Occult really means, I looked it up), are the ones who have the best opportunity to influence the changes ahead.  The world is going to change in a big way and you’ve got a chance to do something about it.  Hopefully everyone else will understand and cooperate instead of isolating you and mowing you down, which normally happens.

These little meetings have gotten more and more intense, as well.  It used to be that only a handful of serious Occultists and desperate weirdoes (it is sometimes hard to tell the difference) would show up.  Now major players from all parts of the supernatural world are here to make a deal or break the competition.

There is no large over-all magical conspiracy.  Rather, hundreds of little cabals vie for the shards of mystic truth out there, trying to become the biggest and baddest mojo makers on their block.

Here are some of the more powerful grous in this town!  DO NOT LET YORSELF BE SUNCKERED IN BY THESE PEOPLE!  THEY ARE DANGERS AND MAY BE IN LEAGUE WITH SATAN!

The Cult of the Naked Goddess
The Naked Goddess worshipped by this totty little group was a practically nameless porn starlet who ascended to the divine right in front of the cameras.  The cult’s leader, Daphne Lee, witnessed this event personally and gained magical powers from it (she was filming the ultimite Sex Scene when the Godess transcended the flesh.)  The cult uses a lot of desire-based magic and gets its powers from ritually re-enacting scenes from the life and films of the Naked Goddess.

The Priory of Sion
This group of psuedo-religious monks beleives that the holy grail is really a symbol for the descendants of Christ.  There is a theory that Christ’s children become the Merovingian bloodline which spawned the unfortunate Gaulic King Dagobert  (himself ousted from power by Charles Martel and Charlemagne.)  The Priory is dedicated to preserving the bloodline, from which they are sure a new Saviour will emerge, perhaps even rewarding them for their efforts.

The Sleepers
Everyone is heard about the Sleepers and nobody has.  They are either very subtle and well organized or not quite human.  The word is, they don’t want the world, in general, to know about 'real' magic and they will kill to protect it's secrets!  It is said they are responsible for many of the brutal 'accidents' which end the lives and careers of more prominent enlightened people.

The Brotherhood of the Yellow Sign
For a long time, people thought of these computer professionals as little more than magical fanboys.  They claimed to be chaos mages, keyed in to the truth of Howard Philip Lovecraft’s Cthulhu mythos.  Everyone ignored them until, one day, they began dropping out of sight for months at a time.  They were replaced by strange, shabby, shuffling figures who claimed to be the original members, but would not go near family or friends (communicating only by e-mail.)  They seem to have linked up with some sort of offshoot of the Cryp’s youth gang but otherwise haven’t really done anything yet.  For some reason, this scares the bejeezus out of some of the occult community’s old-timers.

The Dukes
This isn’t really a group, so much as a status symbol or a frequently-used generic term (if there is such a thing in a subculture which uses the words psychic, magic, juju, whammy and mojo interchangeably.)  A Duke is someone with enough mystic know-how, friends and personal power to get by without a back-up cabal.  These guys are powerful, lucky and savvy enough to work alone and somehow survive.  The city’s three major Dukes are the Bad Man (an Avatar magician who can get you anything you want... for a price), Preacher John (a crazy street preacher with some miraculous powers) and Dr. Pierce (one of the few well-to-do occultists in the entire world, sort of like a classy, sexy female Baron Frankenstein.)

Other Groups
Other groups which sometimes get attention are the extra-legal government organization (interested in magic, of course) known as Project LANDRU, the Dead Saints (a motorcycle gang with mystic connections) and the True Order of Saint Germain (a fanatic militia with a compound a couple miles outside of town.)

Don't get the idea that most Occultists belong to only one organization.  The ones who are truly grubbing for mystical power my have their fingers in several pots.  Certain organizations, most notably cults and, in particular, abusive cults, discourage members from having such outside interests.  Some organizations, ala the Masons, (who St. German in the guise of Cagliostro, founded!) deal harshly with suspected turn-coats. (They bury you at high tide or dangle oyu under a bridge!)

CRIME AND MAGIC

A few years back, there was this guy named Abel who lived around here.  He started out as a cheap gangsta but went legit, got a degree and made a sweet chunk of cash bankrolling Bill Gates or something.  Abel sometimes shows up on the cover of magazines like Fortune 500, Black Enterprise and Ebony, touted as local boy made good.  Anyway, Abel was always into the occult and, from time to time, he hires people to find signficant magical objects and people with real magical powers for him.  On the one hand, they say he pays well.  But, on the other hand, they say adepts who go to work for him are never seen again.  He’s one of those guys who always gets what he wants and you do not want to cross him.  They say that even the mob, which normally wastes powerful magic users they run across with extreme prejudice, can’t touch this guy.  People who claim to work for Abel call themselves the New Inquisition and they tend to be well-equipped bad-asses. They say he’s looking for something big right here in town.

Here is a excerpt froma news artical I found on him:

...continued from page C9
despite what the scandal sheets are saying.”

The songstress went on to add that her relationship with America’s youngest black millionaire was “strictly platonic” and “based on mutual admiration.”

“Alex has always been a perfect gentlemen, he’s one of the smartest, most cultured men I know,” she went on to say, denying rumors of, among other things, a wife-swapping ring and nightly drug orgies.

Abel himself has not been available for comment, but Adrian Voigt, spokeswoman for Abel’s multimillion dollar consulting firm, TNI Ltd., has issued a statement to the press defending Abel against the charges.

Voigt also held a press conference yesterday, after several threatening letters had been sent to TNI Ltd. by groups she would not identify.

“These are not matters of legal issue,” Voigt concluded, “nor are they matters of fiscal or social import.  These are, instead, vicious personal attacks by certain persons, public and private, against whom civil reprocussions will be pursued only if true harm seems to have been intended.”

As of yet, no charges have been filed by any party.

The Mafia - The mob, quite officially, hates magic.  They don’t mind conspiracies or con artists, so long as they get a cut, but they downright want to destroy magic.  The Mafia happily lends arms and equipment to anyone who has a legitimate beef with a monster or magus or any other kind of mystic troublemaker.

The Feds -  Officially, the government doesn’t know a damn thing about the Occult and doesn’t have the resources to find out, either.  There are, however, several rather academic groups and small agencies which are, at least, interested.  It isn’t as easy for these groups to misappropriate funds as it is for, say, the CIA (which, after MK-ULTRA, no longer gives two hoots about magic of any kind.)

The Church - By which it is meant the world-spanning Catholic (Orthodox) church, of course.  Officially, the Vatican beleives magic could happen, but it isn’t likely.  There are, of course, small groups within the church itself who not only beleive but know for certain and go out of their way to keep a lid on magic stuff.  These groups are not above using magic or forbidden rituals to combat Evil.

The Media - Technically, the media loves magic and conspiracies.  However, only the more fringe elements are likely to back groups who are actually “into” this stuff.  If you want to hand a major network or a big newpaper incontrovertable proof that magic and monsters roam the Earth freely, go right ahead.  If they can corroborate it, they’ll make it public (but they probably can’t.)  However, if you want to give a tabloid or trash journalism TV show a weird story, you know they’re gonna take it.  You’ll be insulted by the way they spin it, but they public will see.  The Media remains our best bet for getting the Troth published, but they WILL NOT LISTEN!

The Rich - Most powerful and imporant people in this world dabble just a little bit into the Occult, by holding secret meetings and such, but they don’t have much use for magic.  Magic requires sacrifice, usually personal sacrifice, and that’s no way to stay rich and powerful.  Sometimes, however, a wastrel with a huge inheritance or some other flighty dilletante will drop some money on an Occultist or scheme, usually expecting a good show and being dissapointed.

The Gullible - By far the most regular and reliable contributors to the world of the Occult are those who want to beleive and won’t listen to anything else.  These rubes and suckers can be bled dry and still come back for more, but you will lose all your backing if they ever learn the whole story.  So, oddly enough, you have to keep lying to these people in order to pursue the truth.

The local kids, especially out in the Projects, have a new boogeyman.  He’s a grinning shadow in trenchcoat and fedora who can freeze you in place if you see your reflection in his shades.  They say he steals babies and eats the hearts (and souls) of his victims.  Children have a couple rhymes to keep themselves safe, especially when walking through the dark alleys and gangland shootings of the Projects.  The thing is, some people say the Street Phantom is real and he doesn’t just hang around on the corner freezing kiddies.  Two or three people have been found with their hearts removed but the police, not wanting another riot in the projects like the ones four or five years ago, have covered it up.  A few guys have even claimed to have seen the Street Phantom and one was the same cop who found the Phantom’s first victim.  The kids say you can call the Street Phantom by standing in a dark alley, drawing a circle on the wall and thrice reciting: “The roads of home are never swept in the place where Jesus wept.”

Recently, a pretty big figure in the local Occult Community, Vince Jenkins, died in a pretty horrible car wreck.  Word is that this group called “Satan’s Chosen Temple” sent some flowers to Vince’s funeral with a card that said “Burn, Baby, Burn.”  Vince was a pretty boring guy, for an occultist, more of the metaphysical equivalent of a computer nerd than a demonologist or a satanist.  However, someone said that Vince had bought some sort of favor from T-Joe Walters, the main enforcer for the Chosen Temple about a week before he died.  The other weird and spooky thing is that Vince didn’t drive. The car poor Vince was driving wasn’t his own and the coroner said it looked more like Vince had been clawed to death, rather than cut up by glass.  Of course, the body was pretty badly burned.  People have begun to clam up with regard to Satan’s Chosen Temple and, especially, T-Joe after the accident.  They say T-Joe is a crazy S.O.B who eats his own feces for fun and that this psychopathic satanist once screwed a cat.

There’s a lot of abandoned parts of this city; more than you’d expect (you can bet on that.)  There’s forgotten warehouses, covered-up sewers and walled-off cellars.  There’s collapsed grottos and empty subway platforms, or so it’s been said.  There’s people who live in these places, too.  They call themselves the Mole People, but they’re really just bums.  Sometimes, though, words gets around that the Mole People have something good going for them, deep under the city.  There’s an entire mock-court down there, complete with a Mole King (sometimes a Mole Queen or both) duly elected by the other Mole People.  The thing is, there’s some kind of major psychic juju that builds up in the Mole People tunnels and the King gets pretty much free reign to tap it all (for the good of the Mole People, of course.)  Anyway, it’s whispered that anybody can become King of the Mole People if they pass a certain test, only the Mole People won’t say what it is for sure.  Most likely it’s a quest to find some hidden bauble.

Once a year, or maybe it’s every couple of years, no one’s sure, the most powerful Avatars of the Merchant get together to trade.  These are people who spend almost if not all their time donning the mantle of the Merchant, so much so that it’s harder for them to break taboo than others.  Merchant magic is the only kind they do and they’re super good at it.  Anyone who devotes themselves totally to one type of magic is going to get good at it, but Avatar magic has some special payoffs.  You do it enough and you become a Godwalker, a living embodiment of human beleif.  You do one Avatar exclusively and you have a shot of ascending to heaven as the invisible representative of that force in the next universe.  These people at the swap meet, they’re all Godwalkers.  If you need something magical, you’ll find it at the swap meet and you’ll be able to afford the price.  If you can find it.  The Godwalkers of the Merchant keep this place a tight secret and it never happens in the same place twice.

HERE ARE TWO EXAMPLES OF MAGIC RITUALS THAT WORKS!
A "proxy ritual" allows one person to act as a proxy for you in regards to any magical event.  There are many ways to do this, but all of them make a sort of double image of you to anything magical (which can lessen or even confuse harmful magics.)  You can also use this trick to gain two types of magic power at once.  This works best if the Proxy carrier consents to the ritual.

You must clear your mind for this ritual to work and sit or stand  perfectly still (it won’t work if you are lying down.)  You must hum a tune to yourself, forward and then backward while recalling images of multi-legged creatures (like squid or spiders.)  Relax completely as possible while saying a word with the numerological value of 333.  Invisible tentacles will extend from your stomach and kill all biting flies, gnats and mosquitos in the immediate area.

THE CITY
The city where this game is set is a metropolis, a large muddle of smaller towns which merge into a disjointed whole.  Technically, the city proper is what locals call “Downtown,” a clump of sky scrapers and garages inbetween a sluggish river and a multi-tiered interstate freeway.

Just on the other side of the freeway is the Projects,  a filthy expanse of hopelessness and poverty.  No one goes there who can help it.  Used hypodermics liter the streets and sad, weathered faces stare from cracked windows and piss-stained alleyways at hungry passerby.

Across the river from Downtown is another story, however.  Polk lies in that direction (after a thin belt of strip clubs, repo lots, hardware stores and warehouses.)  Polk was, at one time, a pretty snazzy suburb.  It’s a little shabbier now, most of the lawns are filled with weeds and cars up on blocks, but it doesn’t have the air of reeking poverty other parts of the city do.

Now, the rich and upper middle-class people, they live up the river a little bit in an area called Stillwood.  The lawns are manicured, the houses are spacious and the people smile at one another.  There’s a private college up that way, Tweed, which also adds to the quiet charm.

Out east, there’s also a pretty mall called the Basillica.

Major roads in the city are the Interstate, Highway 23 (which runs parallel to the river toward the mountains), Pyewacket Avenue (where the most affluent shops are located downtown) and Sherman, which bifurcates the city.  Hyperion leads out to the Industrial Parks and the Basillica mall.
 
 


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Note: This refers to stuff in the first edition of UA. Contact me at yokeltania@yahoo.com with any questions or comments. 1