Love, Lust, or Marriage
A Guide to Help You Determine Whether You Are In Love, In Lust, or Married.
LOVE - when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - when your belt won't meet around your waise, and you don't care.
LOVE - when intercourse is called making love.
LUST - all other times.
MARRIAGE - what's intercourse?
LOVE - when you share everything you own.
LUST - when you think twice about giving your partner bus money.
MARRIAGE - when the bank owns everything
LOVE - when it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - when the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - what's a climax?
LOVE - when you phone each other just to say "I love you".
LUST - when you phone each other just to organize sex.
MARRIAGE - when you phone each other to find out what time your kid's game starts.
LOVE - when you write poems about your partner.
LUST - when all you write is your partner's phone number.
MARRIAGE - when all you write is checks.
LOVE - when you show concern for your true love's feelings.
LUST - when you show concern for whether your partner is cute and sexy.
MARRIAGE - when your only concern is what's on television. And where is the remote?
LOVE - when your farewell is, "I love you, darling."
LUST - when your farewell is, "Same time next week?"
MARRIAGE - when your farewell is, "Don't forget to pick up the kids on the way home."
LOVE - when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - when you only see each other in the bedroom.
MARRIAGE - when you never see each other awake.
LOVE - when your heart flutters every time you see them.
LUST - when your groin twitches every time you see them.
MARRIAGE - when your wallet empties every time you see them.
LOVE - when nobody else matters.
LUST - when nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE - when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.
LOVE - when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST - when all the songs on the radio are just the same old mushy stuff.
MARRIAGE - when you never have time to listen to music.
LOVE - when breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST - when staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE - when wondering how you will get through the day is something you try not to think about.
LOVE - when you're interested in everything your partner does.
LUST - when you're only interested in one thing.
MARRIAGE - when you're not interested in what your partner does. And where IS that darned remote?
LOVE - when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST - when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - when you lose your child in a crowded room.
LOVE - when intercourse is called "making love."
LUST - when intercourse is called "screwing."
MARRIAGE - what the hell are you talking about?
LOVE - when you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - when you argue over money.
LOVE - when you share everything you own.
LUST - when you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - when the bank owns everything.
LOVE - when you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
LUST - when you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
MARRIAGE - when you phone each other to bitch.
LOVE - when you show concern for your partner's feelings.
LUST - when you couldn't give a shit.
MARRIAGE - when your only concern is what's on TV.
LOVE - when your farewell is "I love you, darling..."
LUST - when your farewell is "So, same time next week..."
MARRIAGE - when your farewell is a relief.
LOVE - when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - when you only see each other naked.
MARRIAGE - when you never see each other awake.
LOVE - when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST - when the song on the radio determines how you do it.
MARRIAGE - when you listen to talk radio.
LOVE - when you're only interested in doing things with your partner.
LUST - when you're only interested in doing things TO your partner.
MARRIAGE - when you're only interested in your golf score.
