Klatchian necromancer, who taught himself magic partly by trial, but mainly by error. Author of the Necrotelicomnicon. It is said that he wrote it one day after he had drunk too much of the strange, thick Klatchian coffee (see Food and Drink), which sobers people up too much. Achmed preferred to be called 'Achmed the I Just Get These Headaches'. He is also the author of Achmed the I Just Get These Headaches's Book of Humorous Cat Stories, the writing of which was said to have driven him mad in the first place.

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